Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

@didslysquiddlydoo Sorry to read your news. Will be thinking of you on Friday.

@Knotemma glad the GP gave you some meds, at least. I hope they kick in quickly and you get some rest tonight.

Hope you’re ok @TunnocksTcake and that you get some rest tonight as well. @Aria2015 good luck for the bloods tomorrow.

Thank you so much for asking about the scan, I really appreciate it. All looked good, strong heartbeat and some great growth even since Friday. However, I’ve had another tiny bit of spotting since, and even though it’s only a tiny bit and it’s probably from the scan itself I straight away feel really anxious. I only have a week until my next scan, so like everyone I’m just taking it a day at a time (but at the same time trying not to wish my life away )

Hi ladies, I’ve been reading and keeping up with all your posts, so grateful for this little community we have 💛

Sending you all love and luck for scans and bloods coming up, really hope for more positive news for us all 💛💛💛

@didslysquiddlydoo so sorry about your news. Hopefully the scan on Friday can shed some more light. Try to relax until then x

@Scout20 glad to hear things went well. Try not to worry too much, you saw all good things x

I'm so sorry @didslysquiddlydoo somehow I missed your post. Will be thinking of you

@didsysquiddlydoo I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, please take care of yourself and I hope to see you back here really soon ❤️

@Scout20 congratulations on a good scan! Only one week until the next one, I know it feels like ages... my next one is on Tuesday next week 😳

Hello ladies, I am new to this site and this thread is so touching.. Hearing your stories so similar to each other and feeling someone out there understands how you feel. I'm sorry you ladies feel the pain too. ...this is how i feel..Im jealous of every pregnant woman and want to kidnap every baby i see (I would never of course) i just want mine so bad I'm 35 the clock is ticking... I lost two babies the first at 12 weeks in 2017 and in may 2019 I lost my son at 38 weeks. I've been super regular since then and I'm now 12 days late.. I'm so sacred to even test.. I don't want anyone to know til I have a live baby in my arms if that makes any sense. I know I have to test to get to the dr so I probably will in a few days

Awww @didslysquiddlydoo, so sorry to read that. Hope you’re doing as ok as can be expected. This journey is so, so hard! Thinking of you.

@Scout20, brilliant news! Really pleased all was well. I think any spotting or anything out of the ordinary for us is always going to make us think the worst. Keep thinking about that great growth you’ve seen!

@Dani430 welcome to the thread and sorry to hear about your losses. I know how difficult I’ve found losing my early babies (three, all under 8 weeks). I can’t imagine the hell you went through losing your son at 38 weeks. Absolutely heartbreaking. I also feel your pain re. not wanting to test. I didn’t want to test this time around when I was late and really wasn’t expecting to be pregnant! I was also worried about how I’d react if it was positive (would I be happy or would I crumple to the floor with anxiety). In the end, I was happier than I expected to be but I can understand the just wanting to hide from it feeling.

How is everyone feeling today? I was really nauseous yesterday all day until bed time but haven’t been feeling as bad today which is panicking me (I’m trying hard not to let it!) Two days until my next scan and time seems to be going so slowly!

All good at my scan. Am now 10+2. Just the most nerve wracking 2 week wait now for the harmony results! Haven't got great internet so will have a proper catch up soon

@Seahawk80 that's great news, hopefully everything goes the way it should for the harmony test.

@Hoping2020 after a disaster trying the tablets last night after food I've had much more success this morning on an empty stomach. I've managed some food and I've slept all afternoon which isn't like me, though a common side effect is drowsiness. I definitely feel a bit spaced out 🤦😂. I think I'll try to have them before tea tonight and see how that goes.

Eventually gave in and been to the doctors about the sickness and nausea. Been signed off work for a week and given meds to see if they help. Hopefully this doesnt last!!
Most peoples sickness stops at 12 weeks, mine just started bang on 12 weeks!!

Also struggling to stop myself buying things for baby!!

Hope everyone else is well

I got my blood results back today. The doctor said I was technically 4 weeks and 6 days (even though I thought was a day more) when they were taken. My results were:

HCG: 4616
Progesterone: 70.2 ng/ml
Oestrogen: 2222 pg/ ml

My doctor said they were all promising but I'm worried about the hcg.

I did a clearblue test Friday lunch and got 3+ which indicates my hcg would be 2700 or more. My blood test was 67 hours after this test so I would have thought it should have doubled to over 5000 in that time?

I know I'll have to wait for my scan next Thursday but not feeling overly reassured.

Glad to read of good news for your scans @Seahawk80 and @Scout20.

So sorry to read your sad news @didslysquiddlydoo

@Seahawk80 - that’s brilliant news, congratulations!

@Knotemma - excellent! Glad you’ve had some food and slept. Hopefully tonight’s set go down ok!

@Aria2015 - try not to worry (I know, easier said than done). HCG is not an exact science in early pregnancy, everything could still be ok. I understand you might want to prepare yourself for the worst, I’ve always felt that way. I always think “hope for the best, prepare for the worst” is a good mantra. I’m certainly hoping for the best for you and hoping the next week passes quickly!

@Aria2015 I'd be cautious of using the clear blue test as a method of working out how your HCG is increasing. If that's the route you want to go down you need 2 blood tests done. At home pregnancy tests definitely aren't an exact science, especially where levels are concerned. The good news is that you're HCG levels at the time of the blood test match up nicely with your dates, indicating that your levels are going up roughly as expected. I know how hard it is to feel even a little bit positive after everything, but that is a good start and hopefully you'll have a good scan next week.

I've had such an up and down day, chanced leaving the house for half an hour this afternoon and was violently ill as soon as I got home... I literally drove the last 3 miles with a bin bag in my lap. I think I'm going to end up back at the doctor's for a sick note at this rate 😔. I just feel like I should just be able to get in with it and bloody well do this, women have been doing it for thousands of years. I'm feeling a bit grouchy tonight can you tell?

@Knotemma thanks for the reply. My doctor said the exact same thing when I mentioned my concerns. He said he was as happy as he could be with the results. I know I'll just have to wait for my scan next week.

Sorry to hear you've been so unwell. I hope it eases soon. Maybe get signed off and rest in the meantime?

@Knotemma you're more than entitled to feel grouchy, your sickness really does sound debilitating and you should definitely go back to the doctors if you don't see any improvement.

@Rachael321 I hope your meds also do the trick.....let us know how you get on.

@Seahawk80 glad the scan went well. Not long until you're into the second trimester!

@Hoping2020 it's so hard trying to not over analyse every symptom and twinge. Hopefully your scan will give you at least some temporary reassurance.

@Dani430 I can understand your fear of testing after such a traumatic experience. I'm struggling to get my head around the idea that I could have a successful pregnancy when my experiences to date have both been negative, but all we can do is try to focus on the fact that this is a completely different pregnancy and there's no reason at all why it might not work out.
I've always been the opposite and tested too early which just prolongs the terror of the early days. Test when you're ready, and we're all here hopefully ready to congratulate you when you do.....

@Aria2015 I vouch for what the others have said, clearblues are notoriously unreliable and I believe they've actually been banned in several countries! It sounds as if your GP is delighted with how things are progressing, it's so hard when all we have to go on is blind faith but hopefully when it comes to your first scan everything will be looking exactly as it should x

Thanks @Avocuddles. I know the scan will be the only way of really confirming whether or not things are looking ok. I'm sure a the week will feel like a month but am going to try and keep busy in the hope it goes faster!

So sorry to hear your news @didslysquiddlydoo

Welcome @Dani430 , I can totally imagine that you must be terrified.

@Aria2015 , sounds like good news if the Drs are happy but I know it's just so easy to imagine the worst. I think there's an element of self protection there.

DH and I were talking about the scan just now, they said the nuchal looks good at less
than 1mm but did stress that it's early and the baby is still only 3cm. We're only 10 days earlier than when we had the nuchal Scan last time as they did it at 11+5 and it was 3.5mm so hopefully this is a good sign. Just waiting for the results now, the next week is going to drag.

I'm off today and going to ikea with a toddler in tow to finalise the kitchen plans - wish me luck 😩

Anyone else really struggling with exhaustion? Feels like no matter how much sleep I get it's not enough. I'm seriously struggling to keep my eyes open and stay focus at work 😴😴😴

@SammiLou2312 Absolutely, right there with you. I’m really struggling with the tiredness. With constant nausea I’m barely eating (and only managing bread and butter) so I’m probably not filling up on the best nutrients which doesn’t help. This baby growing lark is hard work :-) but hopefully the exhaustion means something good is happening in there!!

Welcome @Dani430 - I was so sorry to read your post and what you’ve been through. This is such a lovely and supportive group, let us know when you feel able to try a test :) got everything crossed for you.

So much good advice on here to everyone, thinking of you all and hope those next scans give you the reassurance you need. xxx

Good luck at IKEA @Seahawk80 🤣🤣 one of my favourite places in the world (but maybe not with a toddler 🤣)

@Nooodles snap on the white bread and butter! I've also had to go back to just taking folic acid rather than the posh pregnancy multivitamins, because those made me green. Can I tentatively suggest chicken super noodles? For some reason those seem to agree with me as long as I eat them really slowly. Also if your ok with fluids try and get some nice juice into you. I had some success with the innocent bolt from the blue, it's a funky colour but isn't acidic and has loads of added vitamins.

I'm trying to be more positive today. I still feel.like trash, but all of the reasons for that are decent indicators that the small human I'm cooking is doing ok, so I'm trying to look at it from that point of view. DH came home last night and that really helped, bless him he set the couch up with pillows and a hot water bottle and I managed an hour out of bed with him to watch some TV.

I haven't told any of my friends yet, because one of them is a massive gossip. I love her, but when another friend was pregnant last year everyone new within a week because she can't keep anything to her self. But as a result feeling quite isolated, which I don't think has been helping mood much. So today I'm going to try and find some nice little positives, maybe have a warm bath and I'm going to attempt to eat the tin of scotch broth I have in the cupboard because it's my favourite comfort food.

Hope you're all feeling ok, I know that the exhaustion isn't fun x

@Knotemma I LOVE chicken super noodles ... might have to get some! Haha. In fact the night before I gave birth to my daughter, I was really craving them - I ended up waddling around our village at night trying to find a shop that was open that had them. I think all the walking actually brought on my labour as she was born at 9.03am the next morning. 🤣 I might treat myself to some this weekend!

Good thinking on the juices, I will have a look for some of those too.

Sorry that you can’t tell your friends yet, is there anyone else that you could talk to in confidence? Hopefully it’s just that one friend who’s a bit too much of a gossip?

Until then .. talk to us! :) xxx

@Nooodles, honestly that's one of my favourite things about this thread, I can just blurt out how I'm feeling and there are kind supportive people on the other side of it 😍.

The issue is that if I told any of the others before her she'd be massively offended, so it's easier to just not bother. And honestly there's a big part of me that isn't ready to share yet. I'm really lucky that my parents are mega supportive, dad in particular has been great because he's retired so he can always make time for a chat or a WhatsApp.

I would definitely go for juices if that sounds manageable, just be a bit cautious of anything citrus bases because that might give you heartburn x

The exhaustion is killing me, it seems to have really ramped up in the last day or so. I swear I have read new messages on this thread 3 times and by the time it gets to posting I have already forgotten. My brain just is not working!
I had a fit of the giggles last night when I went to put on my soft sports bra for bed, I had thought my boobs felt bigger and sorer yesterday and when I saw them in the mirror I couldn't help but laugh, they look ridiculous! I am already a 32G but honestly they look like ridiculous porn star boobs! Shame they are SO sore... it hurts too much to do my usual gym routine (when the exhaustion doesnt stop me first) will have to get my swimming cossie out I think.
Nausea was waaay worse this morning too. Its all hopefully excellent signs of growth...
Hope everyone's ok!

My nausea is really on and off atm. Some smells set it off and it can be bad first thing but no full on sickness. My main symptoms are the none stop exhaustion, vertigo and dizziness...guessing it is a good thing tho. Means Pip is stealing all my energy to grow lol

Speaking of Pip, do any of you have a nickname for your little one/bump?