The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #2 "The Penguin Huddle " 🐧🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

Hello Ladies

Starting a new penguin huddle thread as the first one is getting very full. This is for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

Getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

Let's start the roll call:

Me:
No living children, 3rd pregnancy, currently 8+3. Had early scan at 7 weeks that showed baby measuring right for 7w with a heartbeat. Got another early viability scan booked in for this Tuesday at 8+6. Really scared I've lost this one again.
2 previous pregnancies ended in mmc at 12+3 (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks) in July 2018 and mc (CP but hate that term) in November 2018. Before then had been TTC for 5 years so our journey has been 6 years since starting to TTC.

@KnitKitty @Yukka @rubyroot @Bluebelltulip @MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Amanda81 @boboelephant @Newbie21

Who have I missed?

Thanks everyone for the welcome messages - you've all been very kind and I hope I get to spend as long here as I intended!

@rubyroot You and I must be very close in dates - I think I'm probably five weeks or maybe a little earlier, given my delayed BFP. I think some twinges are meant to be normal, but if you're at all concerned about pain being only on one side, then do see your EPU - ectopics are quite rare (1/100 women), but I'm sure your EPU would rather you turn up 10 times with false alarms than you not go in and be unwell.

I had my left tube removed as well, but my consultant advised that depending on your individual risk factors, only having one tube doesn't make all that much difference, as there are chemical attraction signals from the remaining tube to the egg, so both ovaries can funnel eggs down that one tube most of the time. Still a horrible thing to go through and it's taken me a while, but it could definitely have been worse, for me at least. Your TFMR sounds utterly heartbreaking, I'm so sorry that happened to you, and of course you're anxious - how could you be otherwise? Many hugs to you.

@Yukka I meant to say, I loved your stats post earlier in the thread, incredibly helpful. I am also staring at my underwear multiple times a day waiting for bleeding or something to happen - it's like a really crap budget version of Springwatch. "Knickerwatch Live" is not a ratings winner.

@moonpeace Great news on the scan results, and good luck tmw @InDreamland.

Bah, forgot to say I have an early scan tmw, because of my ectopic history - EPU are quite proactive in checking this one is in the right place. I doubt they'll actually see anything, it's quite early, but I've been getting twingy pains on both sides and in my lower belly so they're being a bit cautious with me. I swing wildly between feeling like it'll all be fine and it being bad news, but I mostly just want to know what's going on!

@amanda81 how lovely that you're beginning to show!

@InDreamland Just seen your updates - hugs to you. Third time's the charm though - might be a chance to make a happier memory on that date. Will have my fingers crossed for you.

Can I just wander I to epu. I thought you had to be referred by Dr? How early could they tell if ectopic. Im probably being paranoid. Pain is worse at night and on left hand side, same place, just feels a bit tender and stitchy. I do seem to remember getting something similar when preg with my current 18 month old, though I can't remember if it was consistent. I seem to remember it being on one side tho

Good luck @DuvetCaterpillar

@InDreamland I know how you're feeling emotionally. It's more likely to be good news. If the worse comes to the worse you will get through this. But seriously now you've seen a heartbeat the odds are good.

@rubyroot I think it depends where you are - you can self refer to the EPU at St Thomas's in London if you're near there. Some other trusts also have self referrals for antenatal care and things, might be worth checking with your GP or on your local hospital website.

Am not a doctor so it wouldn't be responsible of me to suggest if those pains are indicative of an ectopic or not, but they found mine at 6+1 weeks so quite early. If you're at all concerned, look up the symptoms on the NHS website if you haven't already and give your GP or EPU a call (and if it really hurts, go to A&E. One does not prat about with ectopics). Hope you're OK.

It doesn't hurt massively, I just know it's there. I was referred to epau 5.5 weeks with my 18 month old with similar pains and was scanned for that very reason. They found a heartbeat that early which was lovely. so I'm just wondering if it's one of those things. I'll try and contact someone tomorrow tho.. Thanks

Good luck this morning @InDreamland xx

Good luck today @InDreamland my thoughts are with you today.

@Coconutlatte44 two naps sounds great, I might have one with DD today.

@moonpeace I'm 14+5 now, I'm doing ok I think, having good and bad days. Got my next available at 17 weeks which feels ages atm.

Hi all, someone has just linked this thread for me can I join? Bit of background I have a 5yr old DD and a nearly two years old DS and have just found out I'm pregnant again, only about 4 weeks so early days. I've had an ectopic and miscarriage in the past so am quite anxious, I really thought AF was on the way as for about 5 days I've had pretty persistent period like cramps so everytime I go to the toilet I'm expecting to see blood as that's exactly how the miscarriage started. Trying to stay positive and think it's just where its burrowing in nicely to stay still but I feel like it's all I can think about

@DuvetCaterpillarod good luck with your scan today! We are also about the same time -I’m 5w4d. We have a nice little huddle of early ones now. The anxiety is overwhelming! Really hope all goes well for you today!

Welcome @sprite25! I know what you mean about this being all you can think about - it’s so terrifying! What are you doing to take your mind off it?

@InDreamland there are no words for how difficult today must be for you. Just know that you have made it this far and you are stronger than you think, both in good times and bad. We all are. Fx all is well and you turn this day into something positive for the future.

Well, I never had morning sickness with my mmc or cp, but I’m not sure if I’m starting to get some? Woke up feeling terrible - empty and hungry and nauseous at same time. I don’t know if this is what it feels like or not. I hope so, as I need some symptoms. But timing isn’t great, as I’ve somehow got to go defend my doctoral dissertation this morning. Pregnancy and work do not mix well, but I’ll take all the sickness if I can just have a healthy baby finally!

@sprite25 I'm with you sprite. Got a positive test with ovulation sticks on weds and will be five weeks soon. I have a consistent pain in the left side. I'm thinking this does not bode well

Good luck for your scans today @InDreamland and @DuvetCaterpillar!

So glad your scan when well @moonpeace, it's such a relief to get past the 12 week mark. Not that I've stopped worrying completely...

I've finally started telling people after the scan last week so now I feel like my anxiety is worse again because everyone will know if I fail again... but I'm being positive haha

@sprite25 congratulations and welcome! So sorry about your previous losses

Can't believe you're so close now @Yukka! How are you feeling?

@Beagkemum.. Bloody hell it's not you failing. Please don't be ashamed of pregnancy loss x

Welcome to the group @sprite25.

Good luck @sadtoday21, I'm still writing mine so likely to be doing my viva either heavily pregnant or with a newborn.

Pregnancy loss is not failing @Beaglemum93, it's not your fault.

Hi all. I'm off to the Dr's today to get checked over. They felt its a bit early fir ectopic but best to get checked. I'll update later. I probably won't find much out.

@Beaglemum93 there is zero failure in miscarriage, it's a tragedy and nothing else. Glad you feel you can tell people, it will help to have people to talk to.

There are quite a few appointments today so hope they all go well, look forward to updates later xx

Things are changing a little for me, period pains started around 5am, and there is bloody/pink tinge when I wipe. This should be, I think, the beginning of the plug coming away, which is good as means cervix is ripening ready to go with or without induction. Going to monitor and see if it develops enough to call midwife later. The pains have deff eased in last half hour though I did have a shower which is supposed to help.

I had acupuncture yesterday... so in theory this could be it working....

NOBODY PANIC ...ok that's just me 😱 I'll put the bags by the door.... xx

@Yukka so exciting! Fingers crossed you'll not need the induction!

@moonpeace I've been in maternity jeans since 13 weeks. It felt a bit like jinxing things at the time but I couldn't button my jeans anymore so it needed to be done.

I still haven't really gained any weight so I'm starting to get a bit concerned. I lost 3 pounds in the first trimester because I had no appetite but I've only gained 1 pound back and I'm 17+2. Should I be concerned? The baby looked fine at the scan last week and my bump is definitely getting bigger...

@Beaglemum93 thanks :) don't worry about weight gain or lack of, I had similar issues and discussed with consultant. Most women gain the most weight in the third trimester, I've only gained 10.5lbs and we know baby is 7lb ish, plus fluid and placenta. So long as you're not being very sick and loosing weight consistently then it's normal too.

Everyone/every books talks about managing weight gain within reasonable levels - nothing talks about only gaining baby weight, but it's normal (and lucky, less to loose afterwards)

And for the wives tales, they say boys use mums reserves during pregnancy whereas as girls add to it...

How exciting @Yukka - fingers crossed you don't need that induction.

I'm also the same @Beaglemum93 - no weight gain overall and lost a couple of pounds in the first trimester. Think it's because I'm not drinking wine and am unable eat normal sized portions due to bloat. Hopefully, as @Yukka says, we wont put loads of weight on. I'm cautious about what I'm eating as well as I am having a gestational diabetes test at 28 weeks due to my mum and my mums mum being type 1 diabetic...and just don't want the condition.

Hi I'm new boy sure how this works so hi everyone.

Hi. Sorry I meant I'm new on the block. Jus checked if it works lol. I'm 16wks preg. With twins. After long19 years of heartache and losses. But finally got this far. Had my scan yeaterday. All well🙏🙏. Jus wondering that the sonographer was very rough and was pushing so hard disnt Thibk this was right. Any comments on this.

@Yukka that's good news. Even if you do get inducted the fact you sound ready means it'll be easy hopefully.

I'm waiting for a scan at womens ward. Dr tested with struos at Dr's said I wasn't pregnant and then said oh there's faint line actually. I did a clear blue test saidc2-3 weeks which is probably right.

So just waiting for scan to see where egg has implanted. He reckoned they will be able to see that. I thought it might be too early

Fingers crossed for you @rubyroot, let us know.

@Twins786 hi and welcome to the group :) sorry you have a long journey here, and congratulations on your lovely news of twins! Double trouble! Yes they can be quite firm when they are doing the scans up to about 20 weeks, and it can hurt a bit afterwards, it's just cos they need to get the best view and see the babies snuggled in there. After 20w babies are much bigger and no need to push as hard at all.

That sounds promising @Yukka I had that for a few days with DD1 but it's definitely going in the right direction.

Good luck for your scan @rubyroot, glad they are being thorough.

Welcome @Twins786, it can depend on where the baby is. I had a lot of heart scans with DD2 and they often had to push quite hard.