The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

Two and a half hours later and nothing else. No more blood of any colour on liner or when wiping. WTF is my body doing? I'm so confused. Popped a pad on after shower and still nothing. Normally once AF starts with the brown blood it properly starts with light flow red then day after full flow red blood.

@InDreamland if it were to be af phone the gp and don’t even use the phrase cp, just say you had a positive test, then a bleed. But, don’t rule yourself out yet. See what tomo brings. There are a good few on the ante-natal thread I’m on who have had bleeds from the start and are ok which I never really believed was true but it is. It’s shit I know cos you’ve been here before. Try and rest tonight and do some 5sec count breathing if your heart rate goes up again xx

Could be implantation bleed then @indreamland xx

@InDreamland I had brown spotting for a few days then a red bleed and then on and off brown spotting until about 10 weeks. I'd definitely speak to GP because they can arrange for tests (HCG levels or a scan) but I'm hopeful for you x

@Yukka thank you. I will not mention CP to GP. I'll just say another mc. I did find myself doing slow deep breathing at my desk to try slow my heat rate down a bit although wasn't very successful, I just tried to focus on work to distract myself. I have absolutely no idea what to expect with IB if that is what it is but I'm so sure I'm losing this one too.

@Beaglemum93 thank you. I'm going to see what I have on the pad in the morning and then take it from there.

What a head f**k.

How's everyone this morning?

@KnitKitty hope you feel better now and the cold was just a mild one. This rubbish weather is making so many feel poo.

No more bleeding yet. Nothing on pad overnight or when I wiped after wee. I'd course I tested again ...... please don't judge. Just with ICs, plastic stick One Step looks same as yesterday I think, maybe very slightly stronger line but hard to tell. The dip stick one definitely a stronger line. I think I need to just wait it out and expect bleeding to start soon. If I make it another week here I will do a CB digital and hope it comes up with 2-3 weeks. I have a double packet unopened.

@InDreamland I'm glad you've had no more bleeding. As others have already said, it's good that it's brown. With my first pregnancy I bled; I had brown spotting, a small red bleed and then brown bleeding for a few days before I tested. I thought it was my period and only tested because I still felt periody when the bleeding stopped. I then started brown spotting again. But my first two scans showed the pregnancy was progressing and I'm convinced the bleeding wasn't an indicator of the MMC at all. I have a feeling my progesterone wasn't quite up to scratch. This pregnancy now is my 5th, and the first one I haven't had any spotting or bleeding of any kind (and I'm on progesterone pessaries). They refused to check my progesterone levels at RMC as I was obviously ovulating But I have a feeling it was an issue. If I were you I'd make an appointment with your GP today (tell the receptionist you found out you were pregnant a few days ago and have had a bit of bleeding... they'll probably get you in straight away). Ask them for progesterone - have you read the the PRISM trial? @Laney79 linked it to me a while back and it was really interesting. And talk to them about how you're feeling emotionally. They can do HCG bloods too to see how it's progressing so you don't have to rely on the unreliable pee sticks.
Unfortunately we all know we can do everything in our power and it still not work out... But I have everything crossed for you that the brown bleeding was just a little scare and part of the implantation/bedding down process.

This morning I woke (YET AGAIN) thinking I can't be pregnant, the pregnancy has stopped growing and any symptoms I'm getting must just be in my head.

Then I went to make my breakfast and threw up in the sink at the smell of my toast cooking... I laughed at myself for being ridiculous. It's like I've got two personalities at the moment... this pessimistic mope who whispers nasty thoughts in my head and then the other me who is trying to just curiously see how things pan out and stay calm... It's a constant battle between them!

@InDreamland it's good that you haven't had any more bleeding.

@Knitkitty I know it's not nice that you have been sick but your post did make me smile. My sickness appears to be easing which although I know is good and as I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow is also normal I'm still worrying that it's bad news. Then I get a wave of nausea and wish it would ease of even more. I don't think we can win.

@KnitKitty great that you threw up just from the smell of toast! Sorry that sounds mean right, glad you're sick? Goodness in any other situation I'd be called mean and nasty. It's a good sign. Does that help with any anxiety or not really? When I had pregnancy #2 I bled over the weekend and called GP on Monday morning first thing to be told by reception GP won't see me, I pushed for an appointment but they only said they'll get GP to phone me. When he phoned me I told him and he said there's nothing he can do and to go to EPU. Qent to EPU and there was nothing they could do either. I just feel like I have to do this on my own without any medical support until (if I reach 7 weeks) I actually brave registering with midwife and having booking in appt at 8 weeks .....if I even get that far. My GP surgery doesn't have anything to do with pregnant women, they send you straight to register with midwife or to EPU if there's a problem. If I'm being realistic I know that nothing can be done to stop me mc again so I just have to wait it out. Sounds like everyone else has much more supportive GPs than mine. You have to be dying to be able to get in front of a GP where I am.

@Bluebelltulip thanks, I'm wearing a pad today just in case it starts again. Are you getting scanned soon?

@InDreamland I've got a private scan on Saturday. I do think some GP's forget that even though there isn't anything they can physically do emotional support and acknowledgement can go a long way.

@Bluebelltulip you're definitely right there. I guess there is also an issue with not enough resources so they palm as much off to other services as possible.

Hi. I hope its OK if I join. I technically posted on the TTC after pregnancy loss thread but only once. I posted while waiting for surgery for MC2 as it seemed like a way to move forwards and intended to get more involved after my first AF but it never arrived as I get PG straight away. I joined a threat like this after MC1 and it was the only thing that kept me sane.

Here's my history:
DS1 5
CP
MC at 10 weeks
DS2 2
MC at 12 weeks
Currently 10+2

I had an early scan when I thought I was 9 weeks which showed I was only 5 weeks so thought it was game over but a scan 1 week later put me at 6+3 with a good heartbeat; however, I also had 2 massive hematomas which could come out and knock the baby away too.

I've got symptoms which I didn't have with either MC but not very strong ones. One minute I'm hopeful then next I'm resigning myself to MC 3.

Looking forward to getting to know you all over the next few months.

Hi ladies just wondered if I could join on if that’s ok?

Age: 23
TTC: #1 since October 2018
M/c at 8 weeks in March 2019
Currently 6+5 with pregnancy no. 2

The last week I felt strong nausea however this morning I felt fine. Having a mini meltdown as this is when my symptoms disappeared last time. Been for a walk and it’s slight nausea there but nothing compared to last week. Fearing the worst and history repeating itself 😔

Hope you are all well x

Hi @Dmr1996 @theAntsareMyFriends I think symptoms can come and go so try not to worry too much- though I give advice better than I can take it.

@InDreamland it’s good news that the bleeding has stopped- let’s hope it stays that way. Also great about the tests too- I don’t blame you for testing.

I know that when I got brown blood for my Mmc it was ever present, even if a little bit and then two days later had become red blood. I knew it was over straight away to be honest and they scanned me at epau on the Monday after I went into hospital at the weekend to see walk in doctor. The nurse practitioner there got me a scan. Just a thought if you need a scan later on the nhs.

after my mmc I didn’t see a midwife until 10 weeks and they said they HAD to note that fact down Obviously having discovered my Mmc at 9 weeks there was a valid reason!

I didn’t see a midwife until 10 weeks for my third pregnancy too.

My doctors are a bit like yours. I think though if you get to a certain stage and bleed they should refer you to epau. I would insist if this happens to you- I find if I kick up a bit of a fuss I can get what I want. Anything before six weeks I think they generally leave you.

Fingers are crossed for my scan tomorrow that they find pregnancy. I went on Monday and nothing was visible. She rang me later that evening and said my hcg and progesterone levels were good and she wants to scan me in 48 hours ( which is tomorrow ). She said she thinks she may have seen something but wasn't sure and wants to have another look

@theAntsareMyFriends fx baby is a sticky one and you have a healthy pregnancy. Must have been scary having the scan show you as behind where you thought you were. Hopefully the haematomas don't cause any harm. How risky are they?

@Dmr1996 it's natural to feel anxious and worried after a loss. That's why we're all here. Try to remember that every pregnancy is different and that symptoms come and go. You may be one of the lucky ones who only get mild symptoms. Hope you have a sticky bean in there.

@rubyroot Haha I also give advice better than I take it. The past 2 mornings all I hear in my head is "step away from the tests"! I'm still waiting for the bleeding to start. Nothing still since last night. Can't decide whether to go to the gym class I'm booked into ....but will take it gently ......then at the same time I'm thinking why bother trying to take it easy when it's only going to end like the other 2 pregnancies anyway. Are midwives funny if you don't register and see them by week 8? I just really don't want to go if I reach that stage. I do and I don't want to acknowledge this, gosh I'm so muddled. Thinking if I make it another 2 weeks I might call GP to talk about anxiety. I can self refer to EPU so when it happens I'll go there if I feel it's less than a straight forward mc.

@niamhzs fx for your scan. The positive is the good levels of HCG and progesterone.

Ladies, this might be a bit tmi but is anyone having an increased amount of discharge? I feel wet down there all the time, almost like a big of wee has come out! I’m 7 + 5 and don’t remember this from last time but I wasn’t on edge about everything like I am this time! Xx

• that should say bit of wee not big 😂

@InDreamland think the midwives have to follow guidelines and I rang at around eight weeks and asked to book in at ten and so they said they would have to record it . I think if I’d rang in at ten it would have been different. Second time I just rang a few days before I wanted appointment

If you ring when you’re ready for an appointment then they won’t ask questions.

Personally, I think your anxiety is completely normal considering your curcunstances. See how things go. My midwives were pretty supportive with my anxiety and when I rang up with silly worries and stupid questions about baby.

@Dramaqueen14- yes I’ve been leaking a little discharge too, and I’m not even five weeks yet, although I don’t think I’m quite as wet as you. Soz tmi

@InDreamland I totally understand the muddled thought process. I wasn't sure about registering for my booking in as I'm fed up getting bounty folders that are never used! I looked online the other day and think that i have now registered but I didn't get a confirmation or anything so I guess if I haven't I'll just sort it out when I get back from my holiday. I have my next scan on 1 July at EPU and then an appointment with the RMC in the 8th so maybe I should just turn up to that if no booking in gets sorted out.

For those who are being sick - when did that kick in? Is it about week 6? I'm obviously hoping for morning sickness (not that I had it with my DS!) but I'm also aware that means I might be sick as a dog on my holidays so think the hope of sickness will be short lived!

Welcome to the new Grads @Dmr1996 and @theAntsareMyFriends and congratulations. It's an anxious journey but you're in good company x

@Newbie21 I've had sickness start at different points each pregnancy. 1st 8 weeks, 2nd 4 weeks, 3rd 5 weeks.

Sickness always kicks in at 6 1/2 weeks lasts til 20 🤮

For me I should add!!

@Dramaqueen14 yes I had that with this pregnancy, was very damp and watery for first few months actually, then it eased off prob after 18/20 weeks mark.

@InDreamland glad the brown discharge has stopped. Perhaps check online re your. Midwife situ, they will support you a little more given your history, they won’t want you to suffer with anxiety’s either.

Congratulations to the new joiners :)