The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@sadtoday21 so lovely to see you here. Congratulations! Yes 5 weeks on Sunday although I will probably have my days pushed back a little as I ovulated around day 17 after miscarriage but won’t be far off it. Yes will be lovely to have someone to go through those milestones with x

@Ginmonkey84 I'll be 5 weeks on Saturday :). It's crazy because I'm sure you got your BFP before me, but I probably found out later! I O'd on day 17 as well, but unlike you, it's taken me a little longer to get pregnant again because of the partial molar MMC and waiting to be cleared by CX. I'm so happy it happened so quickly for you! Have you had any symptoms yet? When is your first scan? Fingers crossed all is well for both of us. Xxx

Hey @coconutlatte44! I remember you from the MMC thread - great to see so many familiar names with some happy news! Looks like you have come along way on this journey already

So after my chemical pregnancy last month I booked a drs appt to see if I needed referral to fertility specialist. I was concerned as experts keep insisting its definitely my age and eggs, even though amh was very good 2 1/2 years ago and husbands sperm was low percentage of normal morphology.

We got discharged from fertility dr as I got pregnant.

Since that I have had tfmr and one chem pregnancy and now I am very early pregnant again straight after chem preg.

Anyhow, she basically said as I can get pregnant there's no fertility issues to investigate and it will be my eggs and doesn't matter about age of husband as sperm does not age, eggs do.

I told her about a study I had read controlling for all other factors apart from age of male in ivf outcomes and that they had found significant increase in dna fragmentation in older men's sperm and a corresponding increase in chromosomal abnormalities.

Why do medical professionals seem so adamant it is 100% the woman's egg- just seems weird to me, it is a genuine q.

Dr also refused to test and re-test hcg levels despite previous losses and said if I wanted to have an early scan then that was okay and I could do that AT 8 weeks.

Just feeling a bit fobbed off, I guess if i knew the fsh wasn't doubling for example, at least I'd know now than waiting 4 weeks for bad news.

Ah well- 4 weeks it is then, unless of course something happens before then which to be honest- after three losses out of four pregnancies it does feel that way.

I had a few questions

So I think it's happening again. Felt bit crampy last night and not sure if early preg signs or signs of miscarriage, sore boobs and constipation gone. It does not appear good. Pregnancy test looked a bit lighter, but other one sat there for a bit so will check again. I'm not bleeding.. Yet.
Gut feeling says it's another Chem pregnancy tho.
Feel gutted

@rubyroot sorry your appointment wasn't more supportive. My fingers are crossed that it's early pregnancy cramping and symptoms can come and go at this stage. Understandable that you are worried though.

Sorry your appointment wasn't helpful @rubyroot and sorry that you're stuck in this horrible waiting limbo. Early pregnancy is the worst. You could always book a private scan for 6 weeks but I understand that 8 weeks you are more likely to see something and that it then means you're in with a better chance. Re the testing if you need to test (and believe me I'm not judging - been there!), do it every other day as hormones double every 48-72 hours. Waiting is just awful though. We are all here if you need a rant or a handhold xxx

How is everyone else today?

@rubyroot could you maybe go private with the sperm testing? Unfortunately I don’t think many GPs push for fertility testing if your able to get pregnant although I do know a lot of hospitals have started a recurrent miscarriage department and they run more tests so could be worthwhile checking if there is one in your area?

Hopefully that’s not the case I hate the cramping I call them terror cramps. But try not to worry I know easier said than done but if your not bleeding you could be okay. And my tests fluctuate so much there are so many factors that can make your test appear lighter and unless it’s significant I wouldn’t panic X

Well I’m up early this morning again 5:30. I don’t know what it is about being pregnant I can’t sleep. Maybe getting 6 hours in between peeing all night. Im so full of anxiety this morning. I go on holiday this afternoon just my husband and I (we had a family holiday 4 weeks ago and he booked this as a surprise after my miscarriage) but I absolutely hate leaving my kids, have had heart palpitations and the nausea isn’t helping. I think with the miscarriage I’ve gotten really clingy to them. Need to breathe........

I understand about being clingy after loss @Ginmonkey84. I have become that way with DD, I just worry more than before and often about really overly dramatic scenarios that will hopefully never happen! My therapist said it's a very common thing after trauma and bereavement. It's hard though, you just want to wrap them up in your pocket! How old are your kids?

@sadtoday21 no real symptoms as of yet a bit of nausea on and off just that hungry empty feeling like I constantly need to eat something but other than that I’m okay. Definitely more tired but I’m putting that down to not sleeping as much. What about you?

Hoping to go up around the 5th August going to make my appointment with the EPAU when we get home so at least then il only have a couple of weeks to wait. Are you having an early scan? X

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue That’s it exactly, I have been having some pretty morbid thoughts about something happening and I’m not here. My mums great but I worry she isn’t going to watch them as closely as I do. I have twins who are six in 2 weeks. We had IVF with them in 2013. I’m trying to recognise what this is and working on letting it go. Going to do some mediation and yoga this morning to try and get rid of it. It’s really making me feel quite ill x

Absolutely a genuine question @rubyroot - understanding of fertility issues is constantly evolving and methods of testing is continuously being reviewed with new technologies. I think sometimes it is just laziness on the practitioners side and they haven't been doing their Professional development. I went to see a gynaecologist after my 2nd MC as I was worried about age etc and she basically said after a 10 minute chat that nothing was wrong with me and that i should go away and try again. She did say perhaps do some tests, but should wait to see if I MC again. What! I think it's lack of funding and resources that makes us get enraged by our health professionals- sorry that you feel fobbed off and sorry that you have some cramping. I hope it's just a sign of implantation. I had massive cramps with this pregnancy during the time of AF. So anything is possible.

Also like @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue mentioned. Try to resist testing everyday. My HCG levels where high during this pregnancy (5+3wk 12,000 6wk 24,000). The higher the starting point the longer it takes to double, so try if you can to leave it closer to 72 hrs if you can. I was also a serial POAS addict and I did see that my lines where strengthening, and the test line was zapping dye from the control line. however, lines don't always get darker for some, and this doesn't mean the worst. Hope you are okay

My husband really thought he was doing a lovely thing, he wanted time together and for us just to be able to reconnect after everything he is very clingy of me at the minute. And it is a lovely thing I know it will be good for us, we really have had a rollercoaster this last month x

@rubyroot I really hope you are doing ok and that it's just early pregnancy cramps. I think it's absolutely terrible that the doctor fobbed you off like that after your previous losses. Just unacceptable - they need to think of your mental health and should realise that waiting 8 weeks feels like an eternity for women with a history of mcs. If the lines are not drastically lighter, I would try not to worry too much - they can change depending on time of day, how much water you drink, etc. Here for you if you need to talk! I also had a chemical after my mmc at 12 weeks, so I know how frightening it can be in early pregnancy and I'm only 5 weeks today, so I have similar fears as you with every twinge and cramp and feeling of wetness. Sending you hugs!

@Ginmonkey84 my "symptoms" are the same as yours and pretty mild so far - bigger, slightly painful boobs, slight nausea (but I can't tell if this is wishful thinking as I didn't have any with my last pregnancy that ended in mmc), really hungry at weird times and then immediately feel too full after eating, somewhat bloated, super thirsty, and also not sleeping much (because of the peeing at night and also the worrying, probably). I also have a bit of "pregnancy glow" this morning - which for me usually comes right before a bad case of spots! I am really hoping the symptoms get much stronger next week. Still checking the loo roll frantically every time and also fearing I won't see a hb at the 7 week scan, which is 2 weeks from now. I've never seen a hb, even though my last baby made it to 9 weeks, according to 12 week dating scan (and I was in such a shock at the scan I didn't think to look for it, stupidly).

@Amanda81 Hope you are enjoying your vacation and able to relax a bit! I remember you kept temping for awhile in early pregnancy - is this something you suggest to detect early mc/chemical? tbh, I haven't been able to temp or do anymore hpts because I'm too scared to look at it (last time I looked they were high and test were very dark, so I'm just scared to see something different). Is temping a reliable way though to check for mmc in between scans?

Thank you all for all your lovely messages. I looked at the test again and now they look exactly the same. They're cheap tests too.
My boobs are hurting a bit now, esp since my 18 month has been lieing on me this morning.
It's just a waiting game isn't it. I remember my second and only successful pregnancy having so many cramps twinges etc.
I'll try not to keep testing.. I have no tests left now anyhow. I'm copying @Indreamland. Hope you're okay BTW.

@ginmonkey @sadtoday21 thinking of you both too. This early pregnancy thing is soooo bloody hard isn't it

Has anyone started another thread? Conscious this is almost full!

I'm rough rough rough again today and travelling home. Just existing on Pom bears and fizzy water and feeling very grateful for such strong symptoms!

Hey @sadtoday21 - I did continue to temp for a week or so, but it caused more anxiety than what it was worth. I wouldn't recommend it tbh. But I also understand how hard it is to put the thermometer down. I haven't missed temping and find that I sleep all the better without it. If you can, I would recommend putting the thermometer away in a separate room.

Sorry I've not been around ladies for a bit, got so busy! I've started a new thread, tried to tag as many as possible but in case I missed you here's the link to the new thread. Sorry if I have missed you:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3636872-The-Graduates-of-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-thread-2-The-Penguin-Huddle?watched=1&msgid=88515188#88515188