The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@InDreamland Needing to sleep lots is a good sign. You may feel like you've spent your weekend doing nothing, but your body has been working really hard making a little human, so it's not wasted time! How you described feeling about food is how my morning sickness started... just not being able to put my finger on what I could eat that day. Again, a really good sign! I went off most veg for about two weeks (have started being able to eat them again now). Broccoli and carrots still seemed to go down ok. But I wanted all things bland: pasta, potatoes, bread etc... Carb city! Just go with it. Eating something is better than eating nothing, and should help with the sickness.
As for drinking water: that's an on-going issue with me. I usually drink loads of water and decaf green tea and have only been able to sip at water and the very thought of tea makes me want to puke; which means I've been a tad dehydrated. I bought some squash which has helped and Old Jamaica Ginger Beer works a treat for me! A nurse at the EPU said it doesn't have to be water, just drink anything that will stay down. I'm not overly keen on consuming lots of sugar - generally I try not to have much sugar at all, but needs must.

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue I'm glad the party went well, but my goodness I would have been dead on my feet!!! Well done for getting through the day!
I'm sorry you've been feeling worse again anxiety-wise. I hope your counsellor was able to help yesterday. I wonder if telling more people triggered it?

@Laney79 I agree with what Yukka said; we're all different and not having a bump at your stage is completely normal!!! I like to think about these women you hear about having surprise births whenever I'm worried I've not had a certain symptom... Often they've never even 'shown' which is why they didn't know they were pregnant. Sometimes a baby bump has appeared just a few days before a full-term birth because the baby has changed position. It is entirely normal for a bump not to appear early on.

@tinatsarina Sorry you're having a tough time too. Did you book the scan? I think it's a really good idea.

I'm two days off 11 weeks now. Facial spots have made a reappearance this past week... Big style. Hoping it's a good sign that the placenta is growing well? Anyone else get spotty around this stage?

I hope you all have better days today and sending calming thoughts and zen to all of you.

My abdomen kills when I sneeze (hay fever sufferer). I find that if I stand up the pain is reduced. Annoyingly I can sneeze (quiet violently) 7 to 10 times in a row, and more recently a little bit of pee has leaked out as I'm trying to stop the pain coming on. I don't feel comfortable taking what the GP has prescribed me (drug formed nasal spray) so going to the chemist today to ask about Prevalin Plus nasal spray. It's a natural product and the ladies on the November board have mentioned it.

Hey @KnitKitty I started to get spots around 11-12 weeks, around the back of my neck/hairline and chin/neck. When I read the weekly 'what to expect' symptom checker, and increase in spots around this stage seem to figure quite highly. Almost 11 weeks...yey! 🙌

@Amanda81 prevalin plus has been renamed as becodefense plus. Still safe in pregnancy, I use it.

Thanks @Bluebelltulip - I will make a note of the name change before heading out. This season has been tough without the usual hay fever relief

@rubyroot thank you. You're a sweetheart. Funny how you read things are normal yet still worry.

@KnitKitty I had pretty much the same symptoms, more in fact, with pregnancy #1 and that ended in mmc so I don't trust my body to be telling me the truth. I slept so much with the first, had mega painful boobs, loads of gas, nausea etc. Yet my baby had never developed past approx. 5 weeks and my body didn't catch up until gone 11 weeks followed by passing it at gone 12 weeks. Think this is why every symptom I have I feel like it's all for nothing. Facial spots are definitely normal, had loads with pregnancy #1 and I normally have really clear skin on my face. Have a couple of spots pop up yesterday/this morning too. It's supposed to be a sign your hormones are going nuts.

@Amanda81 glad I'm not the only one. It's so painful isn't it. Hayfever sufferer here too. My GP prescribed me Beconase in my pregnancy last summer. I was also told by midwife I can take loratadine or cetirizine. I'm trying to limit my intake of things though but it's so hard.

Hope everyone is ok?

I'm feeling so tired it's unreal, sickness seems to have disappeared.
Had a bit of pain the other day couldn't work out if it was the fact I was constipated or something was wrong so been for another scan this morning. Bean is still growing nicely heartbeat fluttering away.
It just seems surreal because I've never got this far.
Have I got any due date buddies on here? EDD 11/02/20
Little picture of my bean.

@nzs2019 congratulations on your scan.

I'm having another emotional day, having a lot of them atm. Sorry if it seems I'm moaning all the time. On top of my grief, this pregnancy and looking after DD I'm also trying to get my PhD finished and it's feeling all a bit much.

Haven't booked a scan yet guys. Had another dream last night I had started bleeding so my partner tried to phone epu to book a scan and they said it has to be me booking it for confidentiality. I'll have to try on Monday when I'm off as I can't phone when I'm in work :(

Hi everyone, sorry I've been off the radar (again!) - just been busying looking after DD. Hit the 10 week mark over the weekend and have my dating scan in 13 days time which I'm bricking it about but just trying to keep busy and realise that I have no real control over what happens, but making it this far is good (I think).

Hope everyone's been well! Sorry I've not caught up on the thread

Hi ladies. I've also been off radar. A lot going on at the mo! Glad to see things seem to be progressing well for you all although I understand that the anxiety and fears remain... in right there with you!!!

@Amanda81 I've got spots too - exactly the same places. I'm 9 weeks now so let's hope it's good sign.

I'm also absolutely knackered and didn't do that much at the weekend apart from my booking in appointment. I think it's been the stress of the redundancies at work. It was all over the media on Sunday so I barely had any sleep coming to the office yesterday but luckily for me, my team seems to be ok for now but there will still be more hard news to come. They know I'm pregnant so I guess my employment rights are as protected as they possibly could be.

I keep getting achey pains too - sometimes it is constipation but other times not. It can be really uncomfortable at night. Next scan is 18th so hopefully all will be well. 9 days to go!

I'm also behind on this thread as DS is back in hospital again.

@Newbie21 your work situation sounds stressful. I hope your job is safe although even if you are ok being in this situation really makes a bad atmosphere to work in.

@tinatsarina sorry you hear you've also had bad dreams and hopefully you can get a scan and some reassurance soon.

@Bluebelltulip sorry you are feeling emotional but well done for nearing the finish line with your phd. Thats a great achievement and I hope you manage to get it done soon.

@nzs2019 great scan and glad to hear all is progressing well

@nzs2019 fantasic news on your scan! I think you're 9 days ahead of me, although I can't even think about my EDD, gonna wait to see if I can even survive the first trimester.

@Bluebelltulip you really have got a lot on. Not doing Phd but have got an assignment for a master's module to complete by Friday next week! Nowhere near completed and panicking now.

@tinatsarina hope you can get a scan booked in soon. Can you go out in your lunch break to make a call?

@UnicornsandRainbows1 nice to hear you've hit the 10 weeks mark, most feel relieved. Fx for your scan! Less than 2 weeks to go.

@Newbie21 guessing you work for a large financial institution. You must be so stressed, it's the last thing you need when you're pregnant. I tender in mr. Last job thst were doing a round of redundancies in the months before I got married, we'd just bought a house too, that was horrible. Thank goodness I want pregnant then. Hope you will be safe from the cuts.

@theAntsareMyFriends wishing your DS a speedy recovery.

I'm exhausted today, spent almost 7 hours round trip travelling for work for a meeting. Knackered. Got massive headache now.

@tinatsarina I hope you get chance to ring them before then.

@Newbie21 it must be very stressful for you, fingers crossed it works out ok.

@theAntsareMyFriends sorry to hear your son is poorly.

@InDreamland that's a lot of traveling in one day. I hope your assignment goes well. I wrote myself a plan of what's left to do and list of things to discuss with my supervisor while DD napped today and talked to DH about me having more time to do it which has made me feel a bit more in control.

Thanks @Bluebelltulip @InDreamland and @theAntsareMyFriends I'm just going to focus on making sure I look after myself - not get too stressed and drink and eat well. I've put on quite a bit of weight this last year so going to try and shift some of it albeit whilst hopefully growing a baby bump.

Sorry to hear DS is unwell @theAntsareMyFriends I hope he gets better soon and it's nothing too serious.

Morning everyone. Just catching up before heading to the beach for the day. This holiday is knackering between chasing after DS, DH wanting to do lots of walking and me feeling completely wiped off my feet nauseous🤢

Morning all!

@theAntsareMyFriends how m so sorry to hear your DS is poorly. Wishing him well and I hope you are ok too, it's so tough when they are ill, let alone with pregnancy to cope with too!

@Newbie21 your work sounds stressful. I hope you and your colleagues are ok as can be.

Great scan @nzs2019!

That travelling sounds hideous @InDreamland! I hope you had a good rest last night.

@Bluebelltulip I'm in awe! I find it hard enough juggling work, DD and pregnancy! Good luck with your assignments.

My sickness came back with a vengeance yesterday. Not actually being sick but terrible nausea again. Had to force myself to eat a banana for tea!

Those of you with toddlers or young DC, when do you (or did you) plan on telling them? DD is very affectionate but in that boisterous toddler way and likes nothing more than to climb all over me! I wasn't planning on telling her until after 20 week scan but I wonder if there is a better way of explaining to her why she has to be careful of mummy's tummy!

I'm still feeling hugely anxious and veering between confidence in this pregnancy to struggling to believe it's ever going to happen. I don't have another scan until 22nd and want to wait until then but I just can't seem to relax and believe. Every time I do the anxious thoughts creep back in!

@Bluebelltulip thank you. Same to you, sounds like you way more in control than I am though.

@Newbie21 sounds like a good way to approach things. Definitely look after yourself and control the things you can.

@Frillyfarmer make sure you take it easy, if you need to rest then rest. Enjoy your holiday! The nausea is a good sign though.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I slept in an extra half hour this morning but could do with longer. So sorry you're feeling anxious again, can you get another scan sooner? Or is that just too many? Try to remind yourself that until now all is well and baby is healthy.

@Russkispy just tagging you here and a massive congratulations on your BFP over on the TTC thread. Hoping you'll feel comfortable enough to pop over here x

@Boboelephant how are you getting on? Hope all is still well with you and the twins.

@FrillyFarmer have a good day at the beach, hope you get some rest too.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue me and DH have been thinking about this too, we told DD after 20 weeks last time and I've previously talked about the interactions between the two of them. This time we are going to try and leave it later as it was heartbreaking when she tried to talk to DD2 after she died. Not sure how long we will get away with it though, she was stroking my bump the other day so not sure if she realises anyway. It's difficult because you want to protect your baby and want to prepare your child for a new sibling but I'm scared of her getting attached again. I know what happened to DD2 isn't common and most people don't need to worry about that part.

Just found out the girl I work with is pregnant. She 7 weeks on Saturday I'm 7 weeks today. I feel abit more relaxed talking to her about it.

@tinatsarina that's great you can speak to someone you know at the same stage. How did you find out? Early to make an announcement normally.

@Amanda81 Good to know about the spots. I have one UNDER my chin and INSIDE my ear... I'm not usually a spotty person but they're all over my face (except my forehead, weirdly), but the one under my chin and inside my ear are annoying me. Sorry you're suffering with the hay-fever. I don't usually get it but I've been quite sneezy.

@nzs2019 Congratulations! Lovely scan! Yey!

@Bluebelltulip Wow, I didn't realise you were getting a PhD as well at the moment. I hope you're finding enough time for yourself and to relax a bit hun.

@tinatsarina Dreams can be buggers can't they? It's just all of your fears coming out in your sleep. I think a scan is still a good idea. Stay strong. And great that you have someone to talk to at work.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Just keep swimming until that scan. Time can drag, but it's not far away now. My dating scan is in 15 days when I hit 13 weeks. Luckily I have the distraction of a holiday in-between. What distraction techniques have you got going?

Not long until your scan @Newbie21. Hang in there. Sorry work is so stressful right now. Hugs

@Frillyfarmer tell DH to slow down or have a walk with DS while you have a rest! Holidays are for relaxing, and when you're pregnant that means resting!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Sorry you're feeling sick again. Mine comes and goes. I don't have any other children so not sure what to suggest with the dilemma of telling you DD. Could you tell her that mummy's tummy needs looking after at the moment and she needs to be extra gentle with it without going into reasons why?

So; I think I've hit the emotional part of pregnancy. I'm not a crier normally. But I saw a stray cat lying at the bottom of my garden this evening and then it crept into the bush when it started spitting and I just started to sob.

Also, have any of you been on progesterone pessaries and stopped them at the end of the first trimester? If so, how was it stopping them?
I'm supposed to stop mine after my next scan (I was supposed to stop at 12 weeks, but midwife said to talk to specialist at my dating scan at 13 weeks because I mentioned being nervous coming off them and she said they'd be able to reassure me). This is the only pregnancy I've had where I've not bled, and it's gone the furthest out of any of them so far; I'm putting that largely down to the pessaries so I'm reluctant to stop them.

Haha. Just read back @Amanda81 after seeing what you replied to her @KnitKitty, I've been getting spots in some real unusual places aswell as my face, my neck, in between boobs and on my bum cheek🤦🏻‍♀️

So I have another viability scan booked for Tuesday next week. Now to hope we get to Tuesday without losing this one and then it'll be hoping the heart is still beating strong. I'm so anxious. Feel like I am starting to bleed constantly. This is such a rollercoaster.

@KnitKitty never been on progesterone and never reached the end of the first trimester with a healthy scan. What exactly does the progesterone do? Is it not to support pregnancy until placenta fully formed? So once you have a healthy 12 week scan is that when you come off them because continuing to take them has absolutely no benefit? That's my guess anyway. It's totally natural for you to be nervous coming off them because in your mind they're what are supporting a healthy pregnancy. Your specialist will know what to do and I'm sure will be able to reassure you.

The scab on Tuesday will be on the due date of baby #2 I lost in November. Also is the first anniversary of when I passed baby #1 not sure it was a good idea booking scan that day but were cannot fit it in any other day.