The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

That wasn't meant to scare you by the way. I know of loads of people with an easy induction. But my cervix was not ready as sweep had proven. She couldnt reach it. Turns out it wasn't ready cos baby's head was not pushing down on it

@rubyroot @Yukka I've already got an agreement for an elective csection because of my fears around medical stuff as it's more controlled and you can plan for what's highly likely to occur. I know things can always go wrong but for me a section is the lesser of two evils, and I can put in as many controls as poss to help with my anxiety. I think a v birth and all the unknowns and possibilities would be too much for me, especially mental health wise. Wish I didn't feel like this but it's who I am!

Hi ladies, do you mind if I join? This is my first post but i've been following for a while. I'm looking for some advice. I'm 36 and currently 6+6 I think. This would be baby no 1. I had a mmc detected at 12 week scan in April this year (died at 9 weeks).

So far this time I've had very few symptoms, feeling a bit more tired, but no real nausea like I had by this point last time. My clear blue test also took a couple of days extra than it should have to show 2-3 weeks (haven't tested since then).

Booking app not till 30th July. I spoke to epu about it and they said I could go to another hospital not too far away and get a walk in scan, but I'm not sure whether to do it or not as I'm worried it's to early to tell what's going on. What do you think? Should I hold out another week and then go? Or am I worrying for no reason? Thank you!

@rubyroot thank you not not scared me, it is a but if a fact that being chemically forced into labour isn't ideal! I'll keep focusing on what I can do myself to make it better.

@Laney79 that's why electives are there, so that for the right people the choice can be given, I'm glad your hospital supports it and you feel comfortable.

I feel confident once I'm in active labour, it's the wait and drugs to get to that point that bothers me like @ruby describes, so hopefully acupuncture and staying active will help.

Hi @Pancakesandwaffles sorry to hear about your mmc, and congrats on your new pregnancy, it's hard being pregnant again and deciding whether to scan or not to scan! Most of us on here have gone for private scans or epu early on as the reassurance helps, but it doesn't last very long so be prepared to worry for a little longer. (Sorry) Time wise, at 6.6 you should see a little heartbeat, and at 8 weeks risk if mc reduces to 20%. How long do you think you can last... if your having major anxieties then just go, it's not worth stressing and you need to try and stay positive xx

Hi @Pancakesandwaffles, congratulations, and hope that you find this thread useful to you!

I had very few symptoms until I think about 7 or 8 weeks, when the nausea hit. Even then, it has been fairly mild and off/on, and has mostly subsided. I don't have many symptoms now except waking up to pee, feeling super lazy, and bigger boobs - noticeable because mine are usually small!

As for the clear blue, they can definitely be off. I purposely didn't test using one after I got my first bfp because I knew it wouldn't tell me anything conclusively and would just make me worry more! :)

I went in for a scan around the time that you are at and saw a heartbeat which was a huge relief for me. However, if there's a possibility you could be a few days off (i.e. not sure when you ovulated) then it might be best to do it early next week so there's a much better chance a scan would give you a more clear idea if everything's ok.

Good luck!

My 12 week scan is tomorrow, have managed to calm down the last few weeks and accepted that whatever will be will be. If I had to describe my feelings it would be 75% positive/25% negative, which I think is pretty decent considering what I was feeling a few weeks before! It's my first scan since a few days of spotting at 8.5 weeks, so obviously there is going to be some worry there.

I was sure someone else had their 12w scan tomorrow, anyone know who?

@Laney79 I had asked for a c section for my second pregnancy and that was fine as already had c section.. U fortunately it wasn't to be after tfmr at 13 weeks. Thing is I think when you actually get so far you're not allowed to elect for one. Ridiculous realky. All about savi g money I guess although I ended up in hospital for a damn sight longer with a prolonged induction

pancakes andwaffles at 7 weeks it's likely you'll see a heartbeat. I agree that it only resolves anxiety for a little while, but for me I would get a scan then as if it wasnt good news I'd wanted to know earlier rather than later to reduce heartache. I realise that sounds pessimistic and with your age etc it's far more likely to be a successful pregnancy than not.

I think you just need to think what will work best for you.

Thanks so much for your advice. I think I should/will probably go for the scan in the next few days to know sooner rather than later like @rubyroot said, but at the same time I'm scared of getting bad news and setting the whole thing in motion again. This thread is so helpful though.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @coconutlatte44

@rubyroot congrats! My birth experience with DD sounds similar to yours - I was 12 days overdue and sent for an induction. 2 days of pessarys and then a hideous 18 hours on the drip. I absolutely hated it and found it very painful but I didn't progress properly and DD's heart rate was dropping. So emergency section it was. Even though it took me a long time "to get over it", looking back the section was definitely the most positive part of the whole experience! So I have also said I want an elective this time. My main reason being that I am not going through all that again only to end up with one anyway! My anxiety this pregnancy is much higher and I would rather have the plan in place like you say @Laney79!

Hi @Pancakesandwaffles! Congratulations and welcome to this lovely supportive group!

@InDreamland I am keeping all crossed that next week you get positive news and the date becomes something bittersweet instead of so painful xxx

Lovely to have a friend at work @tinatsarina. When I was pregnant with DD two of my colleagues were also pregnant, there were three months between DDand the oldest child born. We went through everything together and still all see each all the time - it was so nice to have that support.

Good to hear from you @moonpeace, I hope all continues to go well.

I hope your scan went well @Beaglemum93!

@Pancakesandwaffles sorry to hear about your MMC but congratulations on your pregnancy. I would recommend a scan - I had one at 5w5d and it was a bit early but did show a sac so they got me to come back for a rescan when I returned from my holiday which was at 8weeks so I could see the heartbeat. So if they do think too early they will likely rescan you in any case if you do it at an EPU. I definitely recognise your name - my first MMC was a very similar story to yours found out at harmony scan at 11 weeks, heart stopped 8-9 weeks. Fingers crossed these ones are keepers. I don't have any symptoms either really. Slightly nauseas today but I think that was the heat (and I'm 9w4d) so try not to worry about lack of symptoms. I didn't get them with my DS and I still worry now in the knowledge I didn't get them when I went full term and gave birth to a healthy baby - after an MC, the worry is endless but this thread certainly helps and we can all try to calm ourselves and rationalize.

Last night when I was worrying about my discharge, DH said "why don't you message your mummy group on your phone and ask them if they know if it's normal". So I did. Lol - so he obviously has confidence in you ladies too!

@Laney79 glad your scan went well :)

Fingers crossed for you @rubyroot I really hope this one sticks for you!

@Pancakesandwaffles sorry for your loss but welcome to the group!

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @coconutlatte44! Let us know how it goes x

All was well at my scan and after a walk, many starjumps and a sugary drink we found out we're having a boy! 💙

I'm choosing to be optimistic now, I'm 16+4 and statistically am 199 times more likely to have a baby than another miscarriage.

Just 3 weeks and 1 day til my 20 week scan...

That's lovely @beaglemum. Hope you can enjoy it now then. Wo t be long and you'll feel him wriggling. I lived that part of pregnancy... Exciting

@Beaglemum93 so pleased the scan went well. Definitely the right attitude!

@Beaglemum93 ah fab news all round! Glad it went well and your feeling positive :) x

Any more scans or appointments today? X

Morning ladies,

Sorry this is just a quick one. Just wanted to say thanks for the advice RE progesterone pessaries; I guess I'll see what the specialist says at my scan.

I might not be on here much for the next week. Off on my jollies after work today.

I hope you all have a good weekend. Keep up the Positive Pants Parade! xx

Great news @Beaglemum93

Congratulations @Beaglemum93 - both on the positive scan and finding your optimism.

Have a great holiday @KnitKitty.

Have a great holiday @KnitKitty hope you enjoy the break and being pregnant with it xx

Congratulations @Beaglemum93.

Have a great holiday @Knitkitty.

Hi ladies I’ve been lurking for a few days and thought I’d take the plunge and come and say hi.

I will be five weeks on Sunday, had a miscarriage at 7+6 on the 9th June so got pregnant straight away with no period in between. I’m feeling pretty relaxed at the minute trying to keep a positive mindset but I’m having a battle with myself about getting an earlier scan. I’m trying to push myself to that 8 weeks when the EPAU want me to come in. I think I’ve had the ultrasound direct site up about four times in the last two days but have convinced myself not to do it. Will see how long that lasts...... I’m off on holiday tomorrow for a week so hope that will distract me a bit x

Congratulations @Beaglemum93 - I've got a bit this time around too! So exciting when you find out as it makes it so real! Loving the positivity too! Are you going to buy any bits now you know?

Hi @Ginmonkey84! Congrats and welcome! I have no advice on resisting early scans but admire your will power!

I have totally caved in to the anxiety today and booked ANOTHER scan for next week. The earliest they could do was Thursday but that's fine. Also have another family and friends bash next Saturday so I'd rather know everything was still looking ok before I went and told more people. Although it's not something I can actually hide anymore!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how many weeks are you now hun?

@Ginmonkey84 welcome to the group! Sorry for your previous loss, pregnancy afterwards is a complex and emotional beast! If you feel a scan will help then go for it, but you won't really see a lot until 6-7 weeks so your holiday is well timed!. The epu will recommend 8 weeks as seeing a heartbeat at that stage really reduces your risk of mc plus it's half way to 12w scan.

But however I did go to ultrasound direct last year and they were brilliant, really professional and friendly.

Perhaps see how you feel after hols? X

Meant I've got a BOY this time around @Beaglemum93! Bloody phone!

I'm 15 weeks today @Yukka. Still a nervous wreck - keep setting these little milestones in my mind "I will be ok when I get to 12 weeks, 14 weeks, 16 weeks..." Need to get my positive pants back on!!

Just found this site - is it the same one you got your stats from @Beaglemum93?