The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread

[KnitKitty]

Hello,

Starting a new penguin huddle for those of us who've graduated from the conception boards.

As I said in the old TTC thread, getting a BFP after pregnancy loss is not necessarily a happy time so this is a safe place to vent, worry and share news (good, hopefully, or bad).

I hope you are all here for the long-haul. But you are welcome no matter how briefly.
Others who are pregnant after loss but who weren't on the original thread are of course welcome too.

My stats:
TTC since Dec 2017
Age: 31
TTC no.1
1 MMC and 3 early losses between 4-5 weeks (or, CPs, but I hate that term) all happened last year within the space of 10 months.
Currently 6+1 with 5th pregnancy

@InDreamland @moonpeace @Bluebelltulip @hayleyfx @Laney79 Please add others I may have forgotten!

@InDreamland she had been saying she felt sick and I joked could you be pregnant? Turns out she is and there's only three days between us!

@InDreamland just saw your last post. Sorry the scan is falling on that date. But FX this scan will show a good outcome for you again.

Hi ladies, ok I'm slightly panicking (correction, freaking out!) sorry for TMI in advance - so my discharge has got a lot heavier. My knickers often feel wet and it is often white and quite creamy. It doesn't smell funny or anything so I don't think it's an infection but I googled it and read it could be a sign of miscarriage and I recall with my third miscarriage I did get heavier discharge. Anyone else experiencing this and do they know if it is normal or should I be concerned? My next scan is 18th - my NIPT scan which was when I found out about MC no1 so I'm really worried it will be a repeat.

So after a chemical pregnancy last month I haven't had a period, I've definitely ovulated, I didn't want to test early as didn't want to get excited and then disappointed again. I'm like @Indreamland can't resist poas but thing is I only had ovulation test and it's a bright blazing positive, I knuw they can act as pregnancy tests, best get one tonorrow. Feel like if it is a positive its just too good to be true, we will see

@Newbie21 I've not heard that discharge could be sign of miscarriage, if no bleeding, cramps etc try not to panic. It's a normal part of pregnancy to get increased cm. Problem is signs of miscarriage and healthy symptoms of pregnancy can overlap.

@Newbie21 increased discharge is normal in pregnancy, it's the body's way of trying to prevent infection. If you're worried though I would make an appointment with your GP and they can arrange tests to make sure it's not an infection. I've never heard of increased discharge being a sign of miscarriage unless there's blood in it. Have you any cramping or anything with it?

@InDreamland fingers crossed the scan on Tuesday will go well and gives you a happy memory for that date.

@rubyroot fingers crossed for you! I didn't have a period between a chemical pregnancy and this one so hopefully this is your month!

I have my second midwife appointment today and a scan tonight. I'm so worried something is going to be wrong...

@Beaglemum93 and @rubyroot thanks for the advice. I'm having slight cramping from time to time but not at a level that it would concern me. I might call the midwife, I gave a urine sample on sat that she said seemed fine but she would send it for tests in any case as a usual check so maybe that would reveal if any infection.

@rubyroot fingers crossed for you. Let us know how you get on.

Thanks for the bump (or lack of) reassurance guys. Much appreciated.

@KnitKitty my early pregnancy nurse arranged for me to have progesterone just in case I started bleeding after the prism trial reported back (saying it could be helpful for those who'd had multiple mcs and experienced bleeding in early preg) -the consultant prescribed enough to see me through to 16 weeks as that's what the trial recommended -so if you're nervous I'd ask about staying on it an extra few weeks. I haven't had to use mine thankfully but it was reassuring to have it.

@rubyroot fingers crossed for you.

@InDreamland hope the scan goes ok. @Beaglemum93 fingers crossed for your scan too-how far along are you now?

@Newbie21 I've had lots of discharge all the way through. I wear panty liners! Just seems to be my body doing its thing! Fingers crossed it's a good sign for you.

I had another scan yesterday for reassurance and little one was fine. Measuring perfectly and heart thumping away. The sonographer noted on the scan report that all was normal and "active baby" - it did a little stretch and a wave! Was incredible. You could see ribs and spine so clearly. Crazy to think 7 weeks ago it was just a blob with a flutter and now it's so clearly a little person. I'm 14+3 today. I've deliberately not bought anything for the bub yet, worried about tempting fate, but I'm off to Wimbledon tomorrow and may have to bite the bullet. They sell the cutest baby stuff and I'd love something for the little one to wear this time next year...

Hugs to all xxx

So I just posted and it disappeared? Testing

@beaglemum good luck for today, remember anxiety is completely natural and not due to anything actually happening.

For some reason it's not working so if my post appears several times I'm sorry. I just had a feeling I was pregnant on Monday and turns out I am.. For now. Obviously concerned it will be another chemical. My pooh was a bit loose today, which has never been a good sign for me.
I've also taken a full packet of ibuprofen about a week ago and apparently that's rely not good. Hopefully it was too early to affect anything as I think I ovulated about two weeks ago.
Anyhow what will be will be I guess.

That sounds like I took the whole packet for fun.. Over about three days. I just didn't really think pregnancy would happen so soon, I do know you're not supposed to take it. Oops

@KnitKitty I'm trying to make time for me but there never seems to be enough hours in the day.

@InDreamland fingers crossed for your scan next week. It will be an emotional day for you and don't feel guilty for feeling sad for your other babies that day. I hope it's another good scan.

@Newbie21 increased discharge is normal and provided it doesn't smell is nothing to worry about.

@Beaglemum93 good luck for your scan.

@rubyroot congratulations I hope this one goes well.

I found out yesterday that I'll be having my anomaly scan at my 18 week consultant appointment in 4 and a half weeks time so not as far away as I thought. 14 weeks today and visiting some family this weekend, DH wants to tell them but I'm struggling with it. I don't mind them knowing but it's the actual telling I can't face and the congratulations afterwards.

@KnitKitty my understanding if progesterone is that it thickens the lining of the uterus to prevent mc so it would likely be normal to come off around 12-14 weeks when baby is established. But if there are no side effects they may easily keep you on it too. I was borderline petrified when they wanted me to stop heparin at 14w but having talked it through the risks of staying on were greater than the benefits based on my personal assessment.

@Newbie21 oh gosh don't worry about the discharge - completely normal. It's actually produced by left over hormones and can be quite damp like a but if wee sneaked out 😱, after 14w it will usually go a bit stickier again as placenta takes full control but deff nothing to worry about Hun. Invest in pantry liners :)

@rubyroot good luck with the testing keep us posted x

@Beaglemum93 Busy day for you today hope you're not too tired being awake at 3am. Good luck with the appointments, keep us posted.

@Laney79 Great to hear on your scan, it is crazy how they go from blob to baby. No reason you shouldn't let yourself by something, even just one thing you can 'touch' will help make it a little more real for you and continue the excitement.

I've been having all sorts of cramps, pains, Braxton-Hicks since acupuncture session on Monday. Couple of times was debating 'is this is it?' But baby staying put for now. I'm seeing her again on Monday, the treatment is supposed to at least prepare the body for birth even if induced so it will be easier, if not bring on labour itself. She's being very careful as I've been seeing her since September when my cycles were off from last mc.

Tiredness has really kicked in again now as has major thirst, doing about 5 litres a day but all normal for where I am at. At least I can while away the days and snooze. Biggest job today is to bake a cake for friends coming over tomorrow!

Hope you all have s good day xx

Oh @rubyroot don't worry about ibuprofen either for now. The reason we shouldn't take in pregnancy is because it reduces fluid in the body as an anti inflammatory, so it can accidentally reduce the amniotic fluid in the sac. You wouldn't be near that stage at all so don't worry, but if you need to take it regularly then speak to gp for alternatives.

@Bluebelltulip 14w is great :) maybe you deserve a little bit of congratulations and baby gushing...? People will never know your inner truth but their joy can be infectious and positive too xx

God aren't you all progressing so fast? I'm know it's not nearly fast enough for you but this thread is flying by!

Thanks again ladies. Feeling much better about it today thanks to you all.

@Laney79 glad you had a positive scan. Lovely that you got to see so much activity from your little one.

@Beaglemum93 best of luck for your scan today. Let us know how you get on.

@Yukka wow not long now!!! I had acupuncture to try and bring on DS... he was still 2 weeks late but when he decided to come things moved fast! Contractions started at 10pm, in hospital at midnight, born 2.50am! Apparently the acupuncture can have a similar effect to being induced hence it was so quick. Looking forward to hearing that baby has arrived :-).

@moonpeace thanks you.

@tinatsarina she was brave to admit she was. If it was me I'd have laughed it off. Nice though you have someone who can share with. Is it a secret between the two of you at work now? Thank you, I am dreading the scan now. It's a bad thing, a bad date.

@Newbie21 I've never heard of lots of cm being linked to mc. Where did you read it? Main thing is you're not bleeding or cramping. If you're worried though definitely contact your midwife, I know I would.

@rubyroot yay! Tentative congratulations! Fx this one sticks and is your rainbow.

@Beaglemum93 good luck for your appointment and scan! Fx all is still well and baby is healthy, I'm sure they will be just fine. Totally normal to be nervous about it though.

@Laney79 great news on the scan. Enjoy Wimbledon! So jealous, I'd love to go. Tickets are like gold dust though. If you buy something for baby can we see what you get please? I'm so nosey!

@Bluebelltuilip thank you. I think if you're not comfortable telling then don't. I know it's the congratulations I also don't like. Or the telling. I am struggling to properly acknowledge this one because I cannot believe I will have a different and positive outcome. After loss it is so hard. Could he maybe tell them without you and just say you don't want to hear certain things?

So nausea on the tube is bad this morning. Feeling very sorry for myself.

Sorry @Laney79 I missed your post. Great news about the scan. Enjoy Wimbledon.

@InDreamland sorry your nausea is bad this morning, I can't imagine getting on the tube with it. DH has offered to say it separately, I think I'll see how I feel when I get there. He is going to tell his brothers on the phone tonight which I don't mind. He is trying to be more positive and last night told me everything will be ok and I just responded that we don't know that and even though I know it's likely everything will be fine and obviously I want that to happen I can't say it will be. When DD2 was poorly I had people say that she will be fine and not to worry but she wasn't fine. Pregnancy after loss is a minefield.

@Yukka thanks so much for the info, at least of something happens I know its nothing I did.

@Newbie21 I'd be thrilled with a fast and furious exit! Hoping as a minimum it just helps ripen the cervix before I'm actually medically induced, I know it will make it easier. I really don't want to be roaming the hospital wards for days waiting for something to happen...😩

@Bluebelltulip assuming these family members are aware of what happened before (I'm assuming so) I'm sure they'll be sensitive and will want to support you as best they can? And if any are willing/able to listen then it can be good to talk about how you feel too with a wider group. But it's important that they're not dismissive of concerns and worries, perhaps DP can explain that to avoid the "I'm sure..." and if they want to ask questions about it then whether it's ok to do that.

I remember getting my diagnosis and one friend in particular who I told and opened up to never once again asked me about it, even when I told her I was pregnant again she never said, "ok so what's the plan here? What can i do to help you? Should we talk about it, should we not?" Etc etc

But some people just say nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing.

So long as you don't get the ...'at least your pregnant again' etc that's not helpful and people don't realise and aren't educated in what to say, but they're your/dps family and they love you x

Thank you @Yukka. Yes they are aware, they came to DD2's funeral. I think they will be understanding and I think that the positivity they had that DD2 would be ok is possibly because PIL hadn't told them what the risks were, I think she was also trying to cheer us up as it was Christmas. PIL know how I feel about saying things will be ok and about big congratulations and they will be there too so I have a lot of support and if I do get upset I know they will explain. The more I think about it the more I think I'm worrying too much about this.

I think you are right that sometimes people don't say anything for fear of getting it wrong but that can sometimes be worse.

What gestation will you be when you are induced? As you know they can be unpredictable but many do not take days. With DD1 I went into spontaneous labour but it slowed down too much so I had the drip, it worked but wasn't as intense as I had been led to believe. DD2 I was induced but it stronger than the pessaries and gel, it a lot quicker than DD1 and did ramp up quickly but I still found it manageable. I hope it goes well, your positivity should help you a lot.

Although different circumstances, I have found it useful this time to drag my family through the whole shebang :) my dad bless him put all my appointments in his diary in advance and calls straight after, and my sister set up a what's up group just for immediate family so I can send one message rather than loads. My bil and mil/fil phone/Skype once a week for an update. It's been a shared effort and probably having that support (or allowing it in) has contributed to how I feel.

Equally if I've had a meltdown I've told them about it so they are aware that it's not all rosy.

I'll be 39.3 when I go in. They say the gel is better these days and I've heard the more ready your body is anyway the less intense/painful the whole experience is.

@Yukka I think that's deffo right. I knew all along my bubs was not in right position. No one would listen tho. I asked to skip induction and go to c section- that was not an option. Have to say pain was horrendous, three days of pessary, 14 hours of the drop, one epidural and three top ups later at nine cm dilated they finally decided baby was not in right position and I had a c section. I knew in my heart that I was gonna have a c section. Anyhow the pain was worth it. When they're in your arms you don't care. Please let us know when he/she has arrived x