Sonogropher accidently told us the sex of baby

[HollyLou93x]

So I had a growth scan on Monday 37+6 weeks. As midwife was concerned that baby was on the large side for dates. Scan did reveal that baby was already 8lb with two weeks to go. I’m not surprised my LO (boy) was born 10 days late and weighed 9lb 6oz.

When we went in for the scan we explained that we didn’t know the sex of baby and didn’t want to. She said ok, and seemed to understand this. During the scan she asked my LO what he wanted baby brother or sister he said brother and told her what his name would be. She told him that he’d make a great big brother etc. And then minutes later she said look at your brother.
I take that as we’re having a boy. Over the moon about we were happy with boy or girl as long as baby is healthy! I had a feeling boy all along but can help feeling disappointed that she revelaved this special information weeks away. We love the surprise at birth that’s why everyone gets the choice to find out gender right?

Would anyone complain or try to get confirmation??

Thanks @Justus22 thats the point isn't it!
I wasn't trying to maintain the "moral high ground" I was calling out some of the nasty responses. They were ridiculous.

So if you want confirmation is that because you're not 100% then OP? So it is still a surprise then. But sounds like you do want to know now.

Wow, I haven’t read the whole thread but I think people are being a bit harsh on OP. Would I be disappointed? Yes (not at the sex but the fact I wanted it to be a surprise). Would I complain? No. As PP’s have said, is it possible that the midwife was playing along with your son because he had already said he wanted a brother?
When we went for our 20 week scan, we didn’t want to know the sex but the Sonographer went straight to the genital area and it was quite obviously a boy, so I ended up asking ‘are those boy bits?’ And she awkwardly said yes. I would have rather it be a surprise but was still over the moon that our baby was healthy. I think it’s just one of those things x

I think she was saying to the baby 'look at your brother' as she'd just said he'd be a great big brother.

Is it disappointing? Yes.
Are you sure you're definitely having a boy? No.
So in the absence of confirmation then it's still a 'surprise'.

But then I struggle with the idea of it being a big surprise (e.g. gender reveals or waiting til birth 'because surprise') as it's either a boy or a girl, not a unicorn.

I do think it's sad she let it slip. Perhaps she didn't hear or forgot etc. Honestly though, you have no idea what's happen, she may have just told someone today that their baby is dead or that it has a condition or abnormality and is unlikely to survive. I lost a baby which was detected on scan, it's not a nice part of their job. Who knows, maybe she was half thinking about that. It's probably quite a monotonous jobs really if you think about it. So maybe she forgot. Maybe she had some personal crisis.

I fully understand why you would feel gutted, you wanted a surprise and someone possibly ruined that, but I don't think you should complain. Congratulations on a happy healthy baby.

**CrazyCrunk

Poor u hun, demand another scan xx

Funniest comment I’ve read in a while.

That's what to do, complain, because the NHS don't get enough complaints about trivial, petty crap.

Honestly can never understand what the whole big performance about "the surprise" is. It's either a boy or girl, how much of a surprise is it really going to be! Plus you've only got 3 weeks to go not sure what difference it makes now. It's a "surprise" no matter when you find out.

Jeez! Some of these comments.

I agree there's no need to complain as it was probably just a slip of the tongue but understand why you may feel disappointed OP. Also understand what it's like to be incredibly pregnant and emotional and seeking kind words and reassurance! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

as it's either a boy or a girl, not a unicorn.

Thank fuck it’s not a unicorn, that would be uncomfortable.

living

How is the OP seeking reassurance though? Reassurance of "yes hun the sonographer was a caaaaah you should defs complain and have her sacked"?

Hello op

Sometimes mn is that big old nest of vipers and often it's not.

I have no idea why people are being collectively mean. There is no need. I say this as someone who lost a baby second trimester.

Of course the scan was important and I'm pretty sure the sonographer probably was playing along with your lo.

After all it's 50/50!

I'd not complain and just wait n see!

Best of luck and hope you get what you want!

Well said @rytonsister I hope OP gets to see your post and hasn't been put off already.
So sorry for your loss 💐

@RCohle why are you so intent on finding fault with the OP and going on. She asked a sonographer not to reveal the baby's sex, and she went and told her son.... She's disappointed and wondering if she should complain or if others would hence she's looking for reassurance of her feeling upset, wondering if others would feel the same and even complain. Some people can some people can't understand her disappointment, most don't think she should complain.... Whatever your view that's fine but you can not justify being horrible to her for her original post and now you're doing your best at ridicule and it's all getting a bit pathetic.

In the minority here but I'd be annoyed if that had happened to me. I didn't find out on both my pregnancies as really wanted the surprise so would have been angry if the sex had been revealed due to a slip of the tongue. I know the NHS is stretched and all that stuff but people should be able to do their jobs competently. Don't listen to the other posters on here telling you they'd be absolutely fine with it.

Because I think the OP's post is actually rather spiteful and mean spirited.

And anyone who has dared say so on this thread has been told they are "rude", "fucking ridiculous" and now "pathetic". Which I think is ironic.

Not sure why you're so intent on finding fault with me and going on @Justus22 .

At my 20 week scan (wanting a surprise), I was just making conversation with the sonographer and said “I bet they’re really hard to sex at this stage, anyway?” and he said “oh no, not with yours- baby is showing off!!”

DH and I came out of the room, looked at each other, and simultaneously said “... it’s a boy, then!!” 😂

I addressed you once because you are being relentless @RCohle. OP being spiteful? She asked on an anonymous forum if others would feel the same as her and complain? Majority have said no but sympathise with her disappointment some don't but lots have remind kind and respectful. There is nothing ironic about it, you are trolling others are supporting the OP, the response you've created is not to your opinion but the way you've maliciously put it across. It's a shame to see anyone let alone mothers trolling other women online from behind a keyboard.

RCohl you think the OPs post was spiteful?
Also "anyone who has dared say so"
The very first post was a snidey one calling OP ungrateful whingey and spoilt. And some BS about diamond shoes. We aren't talking about people 'daring' to disagree with an OP the issue is the nastiness.

Sonographer might just have had boys on the brain as it were, talking of brothers and so on. Also keeping your DS occupied/amused by saying "look at your brother".

One of my sonographers referred to the baby as "she" and "her" quite naturally/casually. Not ever "he" or "him".

It was a boy.

Also why do people repeat what other posters have said but twist it round onto them. It's not clever, it's so petty.

My friend also didn't want to know and the sonographer said 'like father like son' during the scan...

She had a girl!

Prob just a slip of the tongue.

I'm not sure how to post either I'm pleased that OPs son was able to attend the scan (usually in our area it's a no no in case of issues) and that this possible disclosure is the biggest concern for her. Or to be pissed off due to yet another daft complaint about the NHS. This week I've been told off by people in our hospital canteen who said that visitors should take priority over staff in the canteen re queues as we are you know 'staff'...not related to this but the complaints we receive!

I can understand why you’d be disappointed but it’s a small problem on the big scale of things really.