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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sonogropher accidently told us the sex of baby

221 replies

HollyLou93x · 23/01/2019 10:59

So I had a growth scan on Monday 37+6 weeks. As midwife was concerned that baby was on the large side for dates. Scan did reveal that baby was already 8lb with two weeks to go. I’m not surprised my LO (boy) was born 10 days late and weighed 9lb 6oz.

When we went in for the scan we explained that we didn’t know the sex of baby and didn’t want to. She said ok, and seemed to understand this. During the scan she asked my LO what he wanted baby brother or sister he said brother and told her what his name would be. She told him that he’d make a great big brother etc. And then minutes later she said look at your brother.
I take that as we’re having a boy. Over the moon about we were happy with boy or girl as long as baby is healthy! I had a feeling boy all along but can help feeling disappointed that she revelaved this special information weeks away. We love the surprise at birth that’s why everyone gets the choice to find out gender right?

Would anyone complain or try to get confirmation??

OP posts:

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CosmicComet · 23/01/2019 11:01

I’d leave it. It was a slip of the tongue. Be grateful he’s healthy instead of whinging that your surprise has been spoiled and your diamond shoes are too tight.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 23/01/2019 11:04

I wouldn't complain.

Firstly, the point of the scans are to determine health of the baby and I get annoyed with those who think it's all about finding out the the sex (not you obviously!).

Secondly, it's a long job where they can tell quite quickly and was probably just a slip of the tongue.

Original poster

HollyLou93x · 23/01/2019 11:04

Ha very rude not what I expected to hear on here.
I am greatful my baby is healthy but I’m in the minority of people who wish to keep gender is a surprise and I think parents should have that choice. I know she’s only human not everyone’s perfect and it was a mistake. I just wasn’t sure if clarity would help me prepare.
Very rude response maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself!

OP posts:

53rdWay · 23/01/2019 11:04

It’s possible she didn’t actually see herself to confirm, and the “look at your brother” thing was just because your DS had talked about wanting a brother?

Scan at 37 weeks would make it tricky to see anyway unless they were actively looking or got lucky with the angle/baby’s position.

TheCag · 23/01/2019 11:04

Could the sonographer have been talking to the baby, saying look at your big brother? My sonographer did this at a scan, I guess he was trying to involve ds1 and help him feel connected.

ChromeFlowers · 23/01/2019 11:05

I wouldn't complain, it sounds as if it was a slip of the tongue and I'm sure her job can be distressing enough without having to worry about people complaining.

Granted, she shouldn't have leaked the information but everyone makes mistakes, including you, at some point.

Flamingosnbears · 23/01/2019 11:06

She may have been playing along with your LO the only way you'll 100% know is Birthday. If it's getting to you yes you should say something because you did state you wanted to keep it a surprise...

CosmicComet · 23/01/2019 11:06

maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself!
Maybe you shouldn’t post on a public forum asking for opinions if you don’t want people to give theirs?

blacktree · 23/01/2019 11:06

I think you're interpreting it wrong, sounded like she was just responding to what your son had said.

I think complaining would be ridiculous

Drum2018 · 23/01/2019 11:06

Get over it. I'd be more focussed on having a healthy baby in the next couple of weeks. We knew the sex of our first 3 and decided to keep the last a surprise. I was scanned towards the end of pregnancy and it was blatantly obvious it was a boy. So you could have seen for yourself anyway. It's certainly not an issue to complain to overstretched staff about.

Isth · 23/01/2019 11:06

Hm. Could’ve been a slip of the tongue, could’ve been her talking to the baby, to look at your son iyswim. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I can’t believe complaining would even cross your mind!

SemperIdem · 23/01/2019 11:07

I really don’t think this is a massive issue. Annoying yes, worthy of complaint? No.

Original poster

HollyLou93x · 23/01/2019 11:08

Yes I get that her main goal is to find out if baby is healthy and on track. And I’m so very greatful (he) is. That’s why I was shocked as we’d made it clear we didn’t want to know gender. She had avoided showing bits then that slipped out. She didn’t just refer to baby as he she said ‘look at your brother’ to my son.
I wasn’t cross with her just felt confused as we had stated we didn’t want to know.

OP posts:

wheneverythinggoestitsup · 23/01/2019 11:09

Hey op-
I totally understand why you would be upset- I would be absolutely gutted if this happened to me (currently 38 weeks)
Maybe it was meant in a different way and at worst it was just a slip of the tongue.
I wouldn't complain but I would be gutted about it.

Isth · 23/01/2019 11:09

Are you honestly struggling that much with the fact it was likely a slip of the tongue and she didn’t mean to? Or are you determined to believe the mean sonographer just ignored your wishes?

Nagsnovalballs · 23/01/2019 11:10

If this was NHS, then you got a free scan from someone undervalued and overworked, who took the time to be kind and friendly to your young son and make him feel excited and included. You are so lucky to have the NHS.

If it was private, then maybe you have a leg to stand on, but even then imagine how you’d feel if you’d just put the effort in to be friendly to someone’s very small child and it caused them to complain because of a slip of the tongue as part of a happy little chat with a small boy? Would you rather she had just stayed silent to prevent any accidental communication?? Because that’s the only way to guarantee some small error of language doesn’t happen.

Original poster

HollyLou93x · 23/01/2019 11:11

Thanks for your reply the sort of reply you’d expect other mothers to say. First ever post on here and didn’t expect people to be so rude I’m only human and wasn’t implying I’m outraged just wondered if anyone else would feel the same.

OP posts:

viques · 23/01/2019 11:11

What do you mean about "get confirmation" . If you are unsure about what the sonographer said then your baby will still be a surprise and since you want a surprise why would you want confirmation?

Congratulations on your healthy baby btw, hope DS1 enjoys being a big brother.

TokyoSushi · 23/01/2019 11:11

Just leave it, their jobs are hard enough, Congratulations on your healthy baby.

SylvanianFrenemies · 23/01/2019 11:12

Unfortunate. But it doesn't matter.

Enjoy your healthy baby.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/01/2019 11:12

I can’t believe anyone would actually complain about this!

Also you don’t get to ask for opinions and then tell the first persons who responds to keep their opinion to themself! What planet are you on? You seem highly sensitive.

Original poster

HollyLou93x · 23/01/2019 11:13

But being rude isn’t really needed is it?
Very insensitive I’m only human.

OP posts:

PhilipSteak · 23/01/2019 11:13

Ha ha ha ha .. posting on a completely public forum asking for opinions, then being extremely rude to a poster who tries to give her opinion, and to make you see your complaint is whingy, ungrateful and disproportionate.
You also called her rude.
I hope you have a healthy baby, straight forward birth and that your baby shows a bit more self-awareness than you

MargoLovebutter · 23/01/2019 11:15

I definitely wouldn't complain. Not being told the sex is just a preference - not some kind of constitutionally entrenched right. The sonographer didn't tell you either, you are just implying that from what she said to your child.

I would be thinking how wonderful it was that the midwife wanted to check that everything was ok, that you got an appointment in good time and that yes, it does look as though everything is fine and focus on all that positive care and news.

You're only two weeks away from giving birth, if you were having a c-section you'd probably be days away, so it is hardly like month's of exciting anticipation have been stolen from you.

Good luck with it all and enjoy your lovely baby, whichever sex it turns out being, when it is born.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/01/2019 11:15

I just wasn’t sure if clarity would help me prepare.

But you weren’t planning on finding out the sex (not gender!) anyway so what do you need to prepare that you wouldn’t have been preparing anyway?

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