Sonogropher accidently told us the sex of baby

[HollyLou93x]

So I had a growth scan on Monday 37+6 weeks. As midwife was concerned that baby was on the large side for dates. Scan did reveal that baby was already 8lb with two weeks to go. I’m not surprised my LO (boy) was born 10 days late and weighed 9lb 6oz.

When we went in for the scan we explained that we didn’t know the sex of baby and didn’t want to. She said ok, and seemed to understand this. During the scan she asked my LO what he wanted baby brother or sister he said brother and told her what his name would be. She told him that he’d make a great big brother etc. And then minutes later she said look at your brother.
I take that as we’re having a boy. Over the moon about we were happy with boy or girl as long as baby is healthy! I had a feeling boy all along but can help feeling disappointed that she revelaved this special information weeks away. We love the surprise at birth that’s why everyone gets the choice to find out gender right?

Would anyone complain or try to get confirmation??

53rdWay: You seem to think that the sonographer finding out and revealing the sex is a standard part of the medical scan, which it isn’t in the NHS.

You have completely got the wrong end of the stick as to what I was saying.

I did not say that I was telling to OP to pay as in 'go private'. Can you see I am violently agreeing with you? Jeez.

Yes, I know this is a medically required 3rd trimester NHS scan.

I can never understand how people can be so rude to an OP. She didn't declare that she'd killed a puppy. She merely expressed sadness at potentially having her wishes dismissed.

Having waited both times until the birth to find out the sex of my children, I know that when I was near the hardest part of labour, knowing I was close to meeting my baby and finding out their sex gave me the extra strength I needed. That's the advantage of not finding out, surely? The advantages of finding out earlier are clear. I can see zero advantage from finding out at 38 weeks, so yes, I would be very disappointed also.

I'm hoping that people on here are correct, and the sonographer was talking to the baby when she said 'look at your brother'

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well OP.

She didn't merely express sadness though, she asked about complaining. That's something quite different, given that it would be a pretty awful thing to do, and has inevitably influenced the responses.

"Would anyone complain or try to get confirmation??"

The OP wants to try and get the sonographer disciplined at work over what was at worst a slip of the tongue or actually a completely innocent comment the OP has misinterpreted

That's why people are being "rude" to the OP (because apparently disagreeing with someone is the same as being rude).

”She merely expressed sadness at potentially having her wishes dismissed.”

No she didn’t. Read the OP. She was considering complaining and wanted to know whether other people would do so.

I think people have too much time on their hands worrying about this sort of stuff. Concentrate on prepping for a successful labour with a healthy baby. To complain over this would be absolutely disgusting.

A lot of you here are so fucking ridiculous. A woman has posted on here for the first time wanting to talk about an experience and have a little vent. So some of you think she's wrong to complain (I don't think there is any point in complaining either btw) there's no need for your bullshit pile on telling her she's spoilt and not self aware and that she should be grateful her baby isn't fucking dead FFS. She's about to have a baby and you may have put her off coming back for advice and support when she really needs it. So well done, I hope you feel superior! We all know NHS staff do an amazing job but that doesn't mean we can't be upset when they slip up.
Yes she can be grateful for the good news that her baby is healthy but she is probably capable of feeling multiple emotions 😱

I very respectfully absolutely disagree with you with every fiber from my body.

When I was pregnant with my third we told the sonographer we didn't want to know. She then went on to refer to the baby as he. We even told the grandparents we were having a third boy. 4 months later I gave birth to a girl.

IMHO it isn't worth complaining about and I wouldn't buy all blue ... just in case ;-)

I was told at my first appointment that the medical profession refer to unborn babies as 'he'. It doesn't mean anything.

I'm disgusted with some of the responses on here. Have those of them who are Mums forgotten what it's like to be heavily pregnant and hormonal? Besides, OP has every right to be upset. She may not have anymore and thus no other chance to have a surprise. Her right was taken away by that 'slip of the tongue' and she also has the right to have a whinge about it! 

@HollyLou93x Please don't be put off Mumsnet, we're mostly decent people on here, honest. It's just a few virtue signallers that like to be overgrown school bullies who you have to ignore!!

@eatshitboswell couldn't agree more.x

A lot of you here are so fucking ridiculous... So well done, I hope you feel superior!

Pot kettle black.

To me, it sounds like she was trying to keep your LO involved and interested. He said he wanted a brother so she used the word brother. Maybe slightly misguided but I don't think she was confirming anything.

I'm sure she deals with hundreds of people who want the sex keeping a surprise and is completely used to it, I think she is unlikely to have made such a slip up.

In what way @WaxMyBalls

There's a neutral way to say "no, I don't think you should complain. What would that achieve?" and also show empathy for the OP. Then there's the rude, overreactive faux outraged way. There's no need for the latter on a parenting board.

Because you quite clearly feel yourself superior to the people who've been critical of the OP.

I think I would be a bit put out too, as you've already waited so long but honestly, you still don't know for sure.. you're here wondering if that means you're having a boy, so it's still just you're interpretation and not a full on confirmation of the gender.

Also, if it does turn out to be a boy, it's nice that you had a strong inclination and your DC also specifically hoped for a brother.

This is one of those things that you cant control, you can only control how you react to it so just try to be positive. x

Quite clearly? It isn't clear to me so why don't you give me an example?
It's easy enough to disagree with the OP without jumping on her and giving her shit. Instead certain posters went on the attack. No fucking need for it.

Our sonographer did too. Dh heard it. I didn't.

I did give you an example, you just don't like it being pointed out to you. If you're unhappy about the way others have posted, it's perfectly possible to say so in a way that isn't hypocritical.

Surely you lose the moral high ground about rude behaviour when you tell other posters that their comments are "fucking ridiculous" @EatShitBoswell ?

OP did you say anything at the time?

Tbf I quite admire @eatshitboswells approach. The OP wasn't rude yet a lot of you chose to be really rude, harsh and belittling of her. I directed my response toward the OP so was softer but had I responded to the individuals being unkind I'd have thought "fucking ridiculous" was more warranted, most people tend to adapt to the sort of person they are dealing with, I don't feel the need to be kind and polite to those who are neither of those things.

Not really, @WaxMyBalls I don't see how that is an example of me feeling superior at all. And I don't see how my post was hypocritical...if you don't have a proper example of my hypocrisy that's fine 🤷‍♀️