Pregnancy after infertility II

[stealthbanana]

We've got through a whole thread! Hope it's ok that I took the liberty of starting a new one.

Newbies, if you've had fertility treatment and found that it actually worked, this is the thread for you! We're a supportive group of women battling everything from scanxiety to unexplained bleeding, and we generally can't believe this is really happening for us!

First thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2584015-Pregnancy-after-infertility

Hi Smurfy, how far along are you now?
It still doesn't feel real!

Hi Boris,
Thansk for the welcome

drink i am 20wks+1 xx and i am the same still doesnt feel rel- despite feeling baby, hearing baby and seeing baby on screen lol

Hi everyone

Welcome drink! How brilliant to have fallen first time. Congrats! This thread is so wonderful. Everyone has been through proper hell to get here but despite that I found there is a real sense of calm, and lots of wisdom. Welcome.

Sorry I have been missing for a while. It has been a combination of trying to reduce my anxiety, focusing on work (which has been v demanding) and sheer and unrelenting tiredness. When I get home after work my eyes are so sore I can barely keep them open. I thought the second trimester was supposed to see a surge in energy. Not here...

These days I am finding any late night (and I'm talking going to bed at 10 as opposed to 915pm!) or physical exertion knocks me out for a few days. I had to go away for work on Friday and I have spent all weekend on the sofa unable to move. I think it may have coincided with a growth spurt of the little one as I am nearing 16 weeks but still... I am zonked.

I have got my first antenatal appointment on Wednesday with my consultant and I think they will scan me at the same time. I have read that you can tell the sex by 16 weeks. Do you think they'll tell us if they can see what gender it is rather than wait for the official 20 week scan? I am desperate to know. More desperate to know that it is happy and healthy (this anxiety never leaves) but I would so love to find out the gender as I think it would help me with the attachment. I still can't believe this may happen. When I think of the next 5 months I can't actually visualise it. All I can see is blankness. It's like my mind can't fathom that it will all continue to develop ok , but that it also can't even process what a loss would feel like. Blank. That's fine for now I guess.

How is everyone else??

xx

Honestly I'm still a little like that Kate, and I've known the sex since the 10 week harmony test. I hear (from some of the other threads I browse) that it very much depends on the sonographer and how much time they have. So fingers crossed for you. I had a scan at 15 weeks, they didn't mentioned sex but offered to tell me at 20 weeks and checked whether I knew at 28 weeks (presumably so they could hide his bits from me if I didn't want to know!)

Hello, wondering if I can join? I am currently six weeks pregnant after IVF 2 following three years of infertility. I am in a total "can't believe it's real" state of mind at the moment and scared that it will all go wrong! Everything that happens terrifies me. This week I lost a full three hours sleep because my boobs stopped hurting and I had convinced myself that this was the end!

I have also experienced lots of menstrual-like pain which is also quite disconcerting as that feeling is now very much associated with feelings of sadness and disappointment...

I am on steroids until 12 weeks, have heard that this masks nausea. I am sure it is not good to wish for morning sickness but I guess it is a reassuring sign too! Scan in 10 days...hoping this will make it feel more real!

Any words of wisdom from anyone greatly appreciated!

Hi Jen! Well you know you're very welcome from me

I also found my symptoms came and went, was terrified each time they went and would google/mumsnet insanely. I also had cramps until around 12 weeks (and longer).
honestly, I'm not sure there is much chance of avoiding the crazy. I've said at every step of the way "I'll feel better after the first scan" "I'll feel better after the next scan" "I'll feel better when movement starts" - admittedly it's getting a little more believable as I reach each of these milestones but I just kinda believe we will all be anxious the whole way through!

Welcome and congrats again though

Welcome Jen and Drink. Congratulations to you both on your wonderful news.

Kate good luck on Wednesday, and hopefully you'll be able to find out the sex.

I hope everyone is keeping well? I seem to have developed heartburn (well I think that's what it is, I've never had it before) which isn't very pleasant. We also told both sets of parents over the weekend - they were obviously delighted and there were tears but I felt really nervous afterwards, like we shouldn't have said anything and now something will go wrong. I am not in the least bit superstitious so not really sure where these thoughts are coming from.

Genghis - I felt exactly the same after we told everyone! You are not alone there

Me too genhis, for weeks I wished I hadn't even told my mum as she was so excited and I was so convinced everything would go wrong

Thanks Sammy and Blue - hopefully the feeling will pass.

HP - it must be around your due date...good luck!

Morning everyone, welcome to the thread Jen and Drink.

Yes today is my due date!!

No signs of labour yet but I'm hoping it won't be too far off. Thanks for thinking of me Genghis. I am so excited and the anticipation is diving me mad! I have a sweep booked in for Thursday if nothing has happened by then.

How is everyone feeling? I'm huge, tired and not sleeping/having very crazy dreams when I do manage to drop off.

To all the new comers, it might seem impossible but you can make it to full term. It just takes a very very very long time! Believe me! ;)

Aw hp thinking of you xxxx

Eeek HP - that's come around quickly! Good luck! I'm also feeling huge abd not sleeping well - 31 weeks... I'm now counting down not up....

hp! Congratulations! So excited you've made it to your due date - that's amazing!

And boris too. Getting close now!

I had a growth scan today at 25+3 - all was well, baby still measuring big. And is a complete wriggler - at one point he did a tumble turn off the side of my uterus in the manner of an Olympic swimmer, the sonographer was most amused.

Congrats to all the newbies and to all those with scans coming up...the scanxiety never goes, even when you can feel them turning somersaults inside you!

HI everyone

Just a quick one as I am racing against a deadline with work but just to say, we had our scan at 16 weeks today and we are having a boy! She was almost 100% sure. His little pecker was undeniable! I am slightly in shock. All the more real now.

Will catch up on all the news later but just seen your news Stealth! Congrats. It is so sweet to see what contortion they get themselves into isn't it?!

Lots of love to you all xx

Fab news, Kate! The run of boys continues! Glad that it's helping it seem more real, though with you on the weird blank when you idly think about getting to 9 months and beyond. Still seems unfathomable that there might be a real baby at the end of it.
I'm not going to find out the sex either, so that won't help!
Anyone else keeping it a surprise?

This is ridiculous as obviously time passes for everyone else as it does for me and my hopeful tally of weeks accruing, but so excited to hear of HP hitting due date, Boris counting down in single weeks and stealth at 25wks. It's v heartening and lovely to hear.

Oh, and welcome newcomers, this thread is great. We all get the scanxiety and general fear and don't talk blithely about sodding prams and nursery decor all the bloody time

Can I join please, been lurking for a little while but was too nervous to join. I got a surprise natural bfp in June after 5 long years of treatment, still can't quite believe it. 17 weeks now and still anxious as hell! No movement yet which is freaking me out but I'm assured that's okay. Look forward to chatting to you all.

It always feels like time is passing more slowly for you than for others! I am bouncing on my ball and weirdly looking forward to my sweep tomorrow!

I dont know whether we are having a boy or a girl and am excited that we will soon be finding out. In the end we didn't have to go for IVF as I feel pregnant just as we were about to be referred so it will be interesting if we end up with a 'rare' girl or not!

Welcome Basket. It is lovely here. So supportive.

Fell not feel! But I definitely feel very pregnant right now ;)

We will wait to hear the news on whether you get a little girl, exciting times Hp!

Welcome basket, I didn't feel movement til 22 weeks so don't worry too much. He's a little wriggler now I'm 29 weeks though

Hi everyone. You've all been so great in supporting me over recent months, I wanted to share what's been happening with me.

I had the results of the post mortem and other tests today. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Jovan - genetically and physically he was perfect. 💗

It turns out that I have an incompetent cervix, which couldn't hold him any longer as he grew. Apparently there are no tests for this, sadly it can only be diagnosed after a pregnancy loss, but can be treated in any future pregnancy with a cervical stitch.

It's a relief to know the cause but I just feel it's absolutely tragic that I couldn't keep my healthy baby alive. Thinking about a future pregnancy is so difficult with a triple whammy of fertility challenges - sperm issues, poor egg quality, and now I find I can't even grow a baby without intervention 😰

Thanks once again for your support. (There is a longer version on my blog but I'm not assuming that anyone else visits that everyday!)

HP - hope you don't have too much longer to wait (for the record, I'm getting girl vibes).

I'm so sorry to read the news Blueroses. I guess all outcomes would be difficult for you and your husband to cope with. I hope you can find some peace from getting the answers though. Thinking of you. X

Oh Blueroses, what difficult news for you. A friend of a friend of mine has just been through a similar situation - she went for her 20 week scan and they found her to be 6cm dilated. They were lucky enough to put a stitch in because they found it, almost by accident, but if she hadn't been so lucky she would have tragically lost the baby. It's such a horrible situation and on top of fertility issues must feel like a kick to the teeth from the universe. I'm so sorry.

Saw my doctor today (am under an obstetrician) and finally got him the notes from my previous pregnancy (which ended in pre-eclampsia, induction, a difficult labour and EMCS). He said he'd be very happy to support a VBAC if we want it, but in his mind it's a "no brainer" as I would have only a 20% chance of success. So it looks like it'll be an ELCS. I'm not too fussed - the birth is such a TINY part of parenthood - but the weirdest thing is that I'm going to know in advance when I'm going to meet this little person. For that reason we won't find out the sex. Want some surprise, after all. Otherwise, everything is tracking along well and I'm feeling movements a bit more regularly.

Welcome to newcomers. And boy, a big good luck to HP07, whose life is about to change in quite a dramatic way!

HP it's the best outcome we could have hoped for, and it is a huge relief to actually have definitive answers - I know many others never find out why. A lot of people assumed that there was something wrong with Jovan, and it's really important to us that everyone knows that's not the case.

Zenzie your friend was v lucky indeed. Right now I'm loving success stories of stitches. ELCS sounds like a good decision for you.