Pregnant at forty and over - thread 3

[Marquand]

To continue support for mothers to be over 40.

Hello all.... hope all is going ok for everyone and good luck with scans coming up

I'm posting here from a very very anxious place....I was a member here a few years ago..... had some fertility investigations 2.5 years ago that showed an undetectable AMH and high FSH... I was 40 and hoping to go it alone with IVF...... was told IVF not a great bet... and as I was relying on a donor ... I re-evaluated.... grieved and moved on (painful)....

So was pretty surprised (at 42) last Friday to get a BFP..... did test as period late and had been instructed to see GP for HRT if I started skipping cycles..... retrospectoscope says I did have symptoms (no appetite, at all...atypically sore boobs).....

amazed it is positive..... thrilled at first ... now scared stiff of the over 50%miscarriage rate related to my age and non- existent Egg reserve ....my partner is over 50too)..... total roller coaster.....

I think I am about 6/40 ...... my cycles are short (not been keeping an eye but 22-23 days - I think.... meaning dates by LMP are out ( me and partner are a bit on and off at present so only saw each other once last month....)....

Variable symptoms (starving today after no appetite for days)....this is not helping at all.....

Guess I am just after some hand holding from those with calmer heads than mine (partner is being fabulous, thrilled to pieces at this new turn of our interestingly bumpy relationship).....oh and I am job hunting too as current contract ends in March.....

Beam. Congrats. If it makes you feel better I'm 43 and df almost 50

Congrats and enjoy. This baby is a miracle

Orange juice worked. Bubs turned. Also made me throw up on the way to hospital - in hospital car park and by reception desk in a loo but all heard me

Anyway turning meant bubs face and heart chambers all checked and all fine

I'm going to be a mummy to our daughter 💓💓💓💓💓

Overjoyed either sex. Just wanted to be a mummy

Tho seems more real now as know the gender

Also weighs 1.5lbs which I'm a tad worried that is weighs that at 23w , will I be having a 10 lber ....,

Congratulations beam!

A girl! That's brilliant news blondes! Congratulations :)

I had a private scan today which was good timing as all my symptoms had disappeared and I was shitting it. Baby is measuring 9w1d and has a strong heartbeat. It's a wriggler! As soon as I left the place I vomited multiple times. Yay! :-/

Bloop. So glad you got your scan and reassurance

I worry if not sick. Tho worry/hate being sick

Can't win either way lol

Thanks all.... So happy to hear everyone's good news!
Blonde.... Nice weight! I guess your placenta doesn't know it is over 40?

Bloop .... That is fabulous news (I was lurking in the July 2017 thread.... So saw things weren't sounding great .....

Still in shock and not ready to post out in the open in the general threads yet/ join Facebook groups!)

Feeling some nausea this evening so (irrationally) reassured.... Thank you for listening!

Well lots of good news here!

Congratulations Beam. I understand your anxiety completely, I posted on here when I got my bfp as I was too nervous /superstitious to post anywhere else! Am 9+1 ish today (same as Bloop). Feeling a tiny bit better about it sticking though it is still hard to relax.

Bloop I am so glad you had the scan. Hopefully now you can relax a bit as your symptoms naturally ebb and flow.

Blondes, scan done at last! Congratulations on having a girl! It does make it more real, I remember when I found out DS was a boy. I didn't really want to know, DH did so I relented... I'd have liked a surprise but I also really liked knowing, in the end. By the time he arrived I had become, in my mind, the 'mum of a boy' and I felt like I knew him. It was lovely.

I am doing okay but feeling a bit tearful at times. I worry a bit about the future as my lovely DS is autistic and so there is a higher chance of autism with this baby. DS is a wonderful kid, very loving and gentle, and is the best thing that has ever happened to us. I have made my peace with autism, but I still have the occasional wobble about how our lives might be affected if the new baby is also autistic but in a way that has an even more restrictive impact on our lives. Above all I want to do the right thing for DS. It is a leap of faith really, I hope we are doing the right thing.

I am going for the harmony test on Saturday, which also includes a scan, so I'll get to see whether all looks okay. Looking forward to that. Won't get the results of the blood test for a while though. In the meantime I have my first hospital appointment this evening, which makes it all seem very real!

Thanks Christmas!
Good luck with the scan!

I spoke to a lovely screening midwife this morning..... She will offer me a viability scan at 8.5 weeks ....

In a bit of a dilemma as the local hospital only screen for trisomy 13,18,21... Not the rarer stuff (diGeorge)...

I want to go with the NHS if I can (they still charge £450)..... As I used to work at that place....

May just have the viability/ dating scan .... Which I need for the harmony test anyway....

I hear you about the worries over autism.... This is all such a huge gamble and so many variables...... Are you going to find out the sex with your harmony test?

received my NIFTY/Harmony test results today and it's all clear/low risk! Thank god! What a relief! And I'm having a Babi girl!!!! Absolutely surreal!!

Excellent news Russ! Onwards and upwards. Did you have a boy/girl preference?

Beam yes we will find out. In many ways i would prefer a girl (lower incidence of autism, mainly, though there is a theory that this is just down to lower rates of diagnosis). However, that is just the 'logical' preference. I love having a boy and would be quite happy with another! Main thing is to manage MIL's expectations (she's desperate for a girl... not even subtle about her disappointment when DS was pronounced a boy ).

It's funny really, before DS was born I never took it for granted that he would be 'perfect'. And if I had known about his autism, or say Down's, when I was pregnant I'd definitely have gone ahead. But it feels like a different equation when you already have a child with special needs. Hence more of a gamble and a stringer need to know as much as I can about our risks.

I was talking to a couple today at an autism parenting thing who have a 5-yr old and a baby of just a few weeks, so same age gap that ours will have. I was so happy to hear that after some initial jealousy their son had come to love his baby sister and really respond to her, she brings out a positive responsiveness in him that he has never shown with other children. I'd love that relationship for DS, it's the pinnacle of my hopes for our family. It made me feel optimistic

Russ fab news. Congrats 💓💓

Christmas - sure all will be fine. I wouldn't say autism runs in families

Great news [bold]Russ[\bold]! I only just figured out they offered the gender testing with NIPT .....

[bold] Christmas [\bold] it can't be a coincidence that family were there just at the point your worry was on a peak... (Though I am not superstitious)..... So good to see :)

PAH! that was my attempt at reviving my rusty forum skills from my misspent middle youth [b]bold [/b]

ITs * to make bold - with words in the middle. Easier on the laptop* then phone so I rarely bold - sorry

Thanks guys.

Unfortunately Blondes there is a genetic component to autism, though it is not well understood. Incidence in the general population is about 0.5-1% (though rising due to better diagnosis) but in sibling groups, if you have a child with autism the chance of another child with autism is 20%. So it is a significant risk though by no means a given.

The difficult thing is that I won't be able to tell when the baby is born, it will just become clear over the coming years. So there isn't going to be an end to my worries in the near future! But it is a chance we decided to take. And as I say, another child like DS is not a disaster, he is gorgeous.

Hello all - I appear to be joining you.... had a boozy night 12 days ago and DH appears to have got his wish for a 4th child. So nice to see an over 40s group!

Children are 9,7 and 2. And I'll be 42 when this one is born (if it sticks).

Very very early days - so early the GP didn't believe my dates yesterday, as I'm not sure of LMP but we only 'did it' once without contraception (and twice, after, with - no booze, you see...). I tested early as it's always worked for me before and got a faint line on Monday and stronger (but still light) yesterday. Done 5 (positive) tests in total! I always get pregnant quickly so I guess doing it once can do it, even if over 40!

Anyway, the GP is worried about an ectopic as she said s*x 12 days ago couldn't give me a positive result but it has done in the past.

I'm not going to go to the EPU though, as she told me to, as it's grim and takes ages - I'll be down there in a flash if I have any pains! Besides, I'm not even 4 weeks yet so they won't see anything.

Do you think I'm being reckless?

Actually, just writing that down made me realise I was being silly - might as well check it's not ectopic...

Welcome Shirking and congrats!

12 days isn't unheard of lol. This time round I got a positive on day 13 with a digi - positive on a cheapie on day 12. I'm 23 weeks now lol. I do have a very short cycle - 21 days. I had an early scan at 7 weeks at EPU for reassurance due to previous mc's.
It's a bit weird a GP thinks that way IMO!

Hi Womble - thanks for the reply! Yes, I agree it's weird... and I've had three babies before and have always tested early. Anyway, I'm not a doctor so am doing as I'm told! Although just had to do a urine test at EPU - I have drunk shed loads of tea this morning and, unsurprisingly, the test is negative. Still waiting for a scan but they won't see anything! While getting bored waiting, I googled sensitivities - First Response Early Test is 6.3 mi and am almost certain the hospital one won't be more sensitive. Five pregnancy tests can't be wrong though... appreciate it may not stick.

Glad to hear all going well with you! (Quite want this baby now even though I didn't before...)

Update - had a call from the hospital and my blood test does show I'm pregnant but it's very early (as I thought). Eek. 4 children.... (if this one sticks).

Congrats shirking!

Seacow. I didn't know that :( wonder why and what the link is

Shirking. Welcome - it is unusual to know 12days later but guess depends on when you ovulation and lutal period is - hope sticks but agree till 6/4-7w you won't see a heartbeat so wouldn't have a scan - tho guess a scan will show a sac

Hi Blondes - thanks. Nice to find friendly over-40s to chat to! I guess if sperm actually met egg on that date and implanted pretty promptly then it's 'only' the same as 4 days before my period (if it was regular). I tracked my ovulations etc with the others so not really sure what went on this time. Starting to get a bit excited but still rather freaked out too. Feel extremely fortunate to have three beautiful children already and sure I'll love the fourth just as much if it does stick. And I'll some how find the energy/time for all the children. DH is brilliant and v hands on so that will help! Early days though. Having a rescan/more bloods in 12 days. (I had two miscarriages between DC2 and DC3 so they are being kind and keeping an eye on me.)

So booked in today and discovered I've lost 8.5 kg in past 4/5 weeks! Back is aching quite a bit today. Can't get comfortable at all. Booooo