Pregnant at forty and over - thread 3

[Marquand]

To continue support for mothers to be over 40.

Hi Everyone,
I'm so glad I found this website and thread. A little bit about me. I'm 42 and 4w 6d pregnant. 12 months ago at age 41 I was pregnant for the first time (unplanned after missing my pill) but that pregnancy had to be terminated for Edwards' Syndrome. Fortunately we did the harmony test and found out before we'd 'gone public'. My partner and I have been trying ever since and I had a chemical pregnancy in September. We were about to start IVF when I discovered I was pregnant. I'm ecstatic but desperately worried that I will miscarry. I am going for my first scan in a week - exactly 6 weeks. I have had occasional twinges and a little bit of staining once, after sex (sorry!). Would anyone recommend progesterone pessaries? Also what about decaf flat whites? Having had to give up wine decaf coffee and tea have become a key part of my liquid intake

I'd love to hear from anyone who is at my stage or slightly further along. I've read that the likelihood of miscarriage is greatest from weeks 7-12 so I anticipate a white knuckle ride over the next 7 weeks.

Hiya Shortbread! Afraid I'm unlikely to be able to give any practical help re risks etc as am also a 42yo first timer, though a bit further along than you (32w+3) but my consultant said to me, v early on, the conception is the tricky thing. And then being careful and taking care of yourself. I think I've had a coffee every day through the pregnancy, but am not a big tea and coffee drinker anyway and I think too much caffeine is frowned upon.

Good luck - and there are some great people on here who've been through it and can advise!

Hi Shortbread - just snuck on to comment as I "graduated" 2 weeks ago lol.
I'm 41 just had DS (had DD 4 years ago)
I had 4 mc's inbetween. The best advice is to honestly try to relax. Easier said than done I know. Early on in this pregnancy every twinge and cramp I was convinced things were going wrong. I had a scan at 7 weeks and from then on each milestone I relaxed more and more.
Flat white decafs are fine , can't advise on the pessaries as never heard of them lol. I went off coffee until the third trimester and turned into a tea drinker.
On the sex side I can't really comment as nothing much happened in that department as I was trying to minimise any risk and I knew I wouldn't "enjoy"it.
Try to relax, minimise stress and be positive. Each week that passes it does get less worrisome and easier. Promise

Bloop I popped much earlier this time around - around 24 weeks. I looked full term from around 28!! No one believed me that I still had weeks left.
Couldn't tie my shoes or even paint toes!!
With DD i didn't really get a "bump" I was more wide load all over than anything. DS was ALL bump and he was high up under my ribs for ages!

Hi shortbread, I'm 40 and a little further along than you, 8+5 by last period but I'm having my first scan tomorrow. Scared as I have had an MMC before. I really hate this first trimester part, it's so worrying and playing on your mind all the time, but you can hardly talk to anyone about it! So sorry to hear about your first pregnancy, that must have been heartbreaking. You deserve better luck this time around.

I think you can drink as much decaf coffee and tea as you like. But the thought of coffee makes me want to barf at the moment! Along with chocolate, cream, most sweet things and most fried things! It's very sad as I usually love my food!

sorry, lurker and not currently pregnant but quietly cheering you all on :-), thought this might help on a current question.

Carnt - I had my first at princess royal unit hospital in 2012 and have nothing but good things to say for them. I was consultant led, 41, and had gestational diabetes which was well controlled with diet, but otherwise non complicated. I did go with induction due to the GD and ended up with a c-section as DD was in a bad position and not coming out - but they were great. Busy, but I didn't ever feel that I wasn't getting full attention & I was in there for almost a week !!

It was a good experience and very different to number 2 in a more rural hospital. we only lived a mile or so away from the PRU though so not really much choice.

Yes use the pesseries. They insist during ivf but that's as our bodies have been shut down and can't make own

But other threads and consultants say no harm to use even if natural preg

Go to gp and ask for some

My mum had me when she was 42 I am the youngest of 3 and everything turned out fine for her and that was in the 80's she was the best mum I could have ever wished to have 😢

Hello I've had to namechange. Will give clues as to previous identity in future posts. Long story.,

Teabagtits I have no idea who you are but love that name!

Bloop I have popped out more this time around. And higher up. I am also 26 weeks but reckon I look a good 6 weeks further on. And I can feel it when I move - pelvic pain for me. I am going easy on the hoovering and the like because it's pushing, pulling and lifting that makes it worse.

Hello to the new people and lurkers. And wave at Womble

Hello!
I'm new :)
40 and month 1 of trying for no.3!

Give us the gossip @tea

So nice to see loads of new people! I had my booking in apt this week which is starting to make things more official. Still tired and eating like a pig to fight the queesy feeling but otherwise okay. Midwife was totally chilled about my ages and said it wasn't uncommon form round here, which I can see it's not.

Ended up buttonholing a school run mum who's just had no.3 and brought a seven seater, as I think we will have to do same. Realised that my interest might have been a give away though as she was eyeing my tummy speculatively. Need to book in for the harmony test asap before I let the cat out of the bag.

Fun fact I was reminded the other day that my Gran was actually born when her mum was 53! I guess before reliable contraception older mums were not actually that rare. As farmers my family tended to have kids late because they had to wait to inherit the farm. Made me feel better.

Welcome newbies!

Wow efferlunt, 53? That is very impressive!

I had my booking appointment today too and the midwife wasn't concerned about my age, the box on her form said ">40" and because I am exactly 40 she said she didn't have to tick it I am still getting consultant led care though due to raised blood pressure and small baby in previous pregnancy. She talked a lot about going on aspirin at 12 weeks but the consultant has to see me first.

I also had a private scan today and everything looked good, little bean is bang on 8+5 with a good strong heartbeat. It was such a relief! I'm sure it won't last long though as I have 4 weeks for the anxiety to build up again before my 12 week scan...

Hi ladies, hoping I can join you... positive Hpt on Thursday, so currently 4+5 I'm 42 and have a daughter who will be 2 in May. Had a chemical in December which left me pretty gutted, so understandably I'm pretty anxious this time and hoping all goes well .. (and trying to stay away from google...)

Teaspoon74 and Womble 75, thank you for your reassurance. I feel more relaxed just hearing from all of you. I will try to relax and focus on things apart from twinges. I made a start on this yesterday by booking myself in for a 'workshop' at the Apple Store to learn how to use iCloud storage properly - rock n roll...

PingusMistress, Great news about your scan. I can imagine your relief! I so wish I was turned off by food. Unfortunately my already robust appetite has gone into overdrive and I'm rapidly developing my Dad's figure, thin arms and legs with pot belly.

24deedee, you and I are only a few days apart and the same age! I had a CP in September so I understand your apprehension.

blondeshavemorefun - thanks for the pessaries tip, I'm seeing my GP on Wednesday and will ask. I'll report back for everyone's benefit. I have a truly wonderful GP who has seen me through my last 2 mishaps. This time around he wants to see me weekly before my 6 week scan, insisted I take time off work and signed me off! He thinks my job is too stressful and that I simply need a rest between now and my first scan.

Last question for today, has anyone experienced palpitations during early pregnancy?

Welcome to all the new ladies

Teabagtits intriguing!!

Ever re cars - we just bit the bullet and bought a Disco! Got it on Friday and feel v grown up ;).

Shortbread ooh - tell me more about this workshop!! OH Has been digitising all out CDs to get them in the loft out of the way. The next challenge is how we can both access them from the one version of iTunes on his mac (I'm a PC user). Hoping we can do something cloudy and use a programme to access across the house, but no idea what / how . Is the workshop paid for/ free and was it advertised? Am in London so a couple of stores I could check out I s'pose.

Did any of you have an early scan? I'm thinking of booking one for just over 7 weeks as am hoping it would help me worry less if I saw a heartbeat... any recommendations for London?

Hi 24, I had a scan at 7 weeks, just to see a heartbeat and believe it! I went to a Baby Bond place near me in NE London (it's a chain, there are a few around) but with my previous pregnancy I did the same and went to the Foetal Medicine Centre on Harley Street (was handy for work at the time). TBH both did the job just fine. There's not much they can tell you other than heartbeat is there, baby in the right place and (hopefully in my case) that there's only one in there! They do also confirm approx dates. You need a decent sonographer but no advanced expertise (which might be more relevant for a structural scan, say) so I am sure more or less anywhere is fine.

I was really glad I had done it both times as I did find it reassuring, although for some reason I still worried a lot more up to my 12 week scan this time! Hope all goes well for you.

Teaspoon, the workshops are free and you can book them online at the Apple Store closest to you. I'm quite close to Westfield white city so I just type 'Westfield white city' into safari and go to that store's website. Once you are in the website scroll to the bottom of the page and you'll find a list of all upcoming workshops and you can book directly. You do need an Apple ID to book them so you may have to get your OH's details to book. I don't know if you can access his iTunes account from a pc. Might be worth ringing apple help to find out. Their telephone support is pretty good. Alternatively you might be able to put all the music he's digitised onto amazon cloud player which you can both access - it's device neutral I believe :)

Hi 24, we are the same age and I'm 5w 3D. In my case my GP will refer me to the early pregnancy unit at my local hospital for a scan at 6 weeks. If nothing shows then he will send me back at 7 weeks. I had a CP in September and a termination for Edwards' syndrome in April 2016 so he feels my anxiety justifies the early scan. Might be worth checking with your GP?

Christmas...you must be quite close to me then, I'm not far from the mothercare at Edmondton, we go there all the time for a coffee and soft play, didn't know they did scans but will check it out as they're so handy.
Shortbread, that's an idea, I will check with my GP and see if I could be referred, would rather save true cash if I could to put towards the nipty scan, thinking scout that too

Sorry awake too early and phone is on night mode... forgive the spelling mistakes...

Hello
Can I please join?
I'm 40, been TTC for 18 years, 4 rounds of ivf and today I have my first ever 2nd line on a HPT.
It's the most amazing beautiful line I've ever seen 😍