Pregnant at forty and over - thread 3

[Marquand]

To continue support for mothers to be over 40.

Shirking - yah you found us :)

Bloop - due to hg? I weigh less. Ie then before preg tho still have a lot of extra padding due to 7 lots of ivf drugs

Oh Bloobleep, that sounds like you've been very unwell... I lost weight in the first trimester with my first two as well because of morning sickness. They were fine though and v healthy. It was bad but not HG. That sounds horrific...

I've not got HG I don't think. At first they thought it was but then said it's just normal nvp- thankfully they let me take medication anyway which has helped me have some food but still off almost everything except cream crackers.

Gosh, I haven't been sick at all... HOWEVER the downside is that I have berm piling on the weight. I don't feel sick but am hungry and don't fancy all my normal foods, I just want bread! Think I am at least 8lb up and only 10 weeks. I hope I feel like normal eating again soon

Hi Christmas - that sounds entirely normal! I craved carbs with my other pregnancies. Plates and plates of buttery spaghetti...

Well, that sounds bad enough bloobleep. Hope you are resting. I never had to take medication. (Threw up next to the same car on the way to work every day for the first three months though.. nice!)

Yes, I am very glad not to be sick and do feel for those that are. I get queasy at the thought of certain foods (things I normally like) and feel a bit sick if I get hungry, hence the constant carby and dairy-based grazing. I am going to be the size of an even bigger house by the time this baby is born.

The tiredness is ridiculous though. I literally want to go back to bed 2 hours after getting up and am falling asleep in the day. I Havent got the energy to cook but keep shopping as normal out of habit so am throwing a lot of food away . The house is a tip and it is really bothering me but I can't... quite... stir... myself... to do something about it. Also behind with Christmas prep.

I have another cold - the third one in as many weeks, no real time to recover in between. This isn't helping my tiredness.

Right, WHINGE OVER. I have to tidy up tonight as my sister is coming tomorrow to babysit. She will wonder what's come over me and I don't want to tell her till I tell the rest of the family at Christmas! I look rough though (as various friends and acquaintances have been noting!)

I have been surviving on cream crackers and tiny blocks of cheese. I'm told it won't affect the baby but I'm worried eating so little will have a bad effect. That said there's more than enough of me left to feed a small village. I've really gone off protein though. Can't stomach the thought of eating chicken (the only meat I eat) and am terrified of the gastrointestinal effects of pulses -💨

Baby will get what they need from you

And yes sickness is awful and I'm happy to take any sympathy going 😷😬😬

Ha Bloop I too have plenty of reserves!

I do think it is odd that nature makes women feel too sick to eat, at the time they ideally need balanced nutrition! It does seem to work out fine though even for the significant number who live on cream crackers through their pregnancy (and if it wasn't fine evolution would have weeded out pregnancy sickness by now). I am off meat too but massively keen on cheese, which is a good source of protein.

10+1 today and off for my scan and harmony test later. Excited to have a scan and see if things are okay. But hope I am not in the 4% of people for whom the test fails and is inconclusive

I can hear DS waking... better get up.

I have everything crossed for you Christmas!

Can I ask a question.... How soon did you need a new bra size..... I feel like I am growing out of mine already....... (Ample bosom.... Normal BMI.... First baby..... Somewhere about 6+5 preg)..... I feel like that is ridiculous and I might be imagining it? I got new bra professionally fitted not long ago..... Surely it is too soon???

Christmas. Good luck with scan and test

Beam. Within 6/8w. I went from underwire to non. Wires digging in my ample bosum. Was 36 d - now 38e and possibly heading towards 40

All the sickness and weight has not gone from my boobs. Yet weirdly my wrist has shrunk as my bracket keeps falling off me ....

Good luck Christmas :)

Beam- I've stayed the same size but they're bigger of that makes sense. I've lost weight tho so it's very likely it's gone from my boobs too. I'm a 36E normally and had to buy maternity bras in that size too. The woman was trying to get me to get a 38 but it was like a hula hoop on me! I expect as my belly grows I will probably need a larger size back.

I found it hard to find maternity bras. M&s have nursing bras but they weren't very comfortable or supportive. I had to stop wearing underwire as they were starting to dig in, which is really annoying actually as I'd just bought a whole load of news bras recently! Grrrr

Hi all. Scan was fine, measuring on dates 10+2. Yesterday according to them) and all looking normal. It was amazing to see the change in just 3weeks - it's gone from blob to a recognisable baby thing with limbs etc. And I saw it stretching and wriggling, amazing!

They took bloods and sent them off for the Harmony test. She did say that as I am only just 10 weeks there is a chance it won't work and they will need to retake the blood. Fingers crossed.

Regarding bras, I was bursting out of mine by 5 weeks! I was a 32HH or 32J, now wearing 32jj or 32k but with a back expander on too. It seems to be hormonal for me - boobs get bigger straight away. Nipples also bigger from Day 1 and incredibly sore and sensitive. In fact, with my last (short) pregnancy in the summer it was the boob swelling and sudden ultra-sensitive sense of smell that prompted me to do the test!

Morning and hello to all!
I'm new to this board after a period of lurking- hope everyone is doing well.

I'm 16 weeks today (1st timer), and 40.
Have had a bit of a wild ride, weeks off work with sickness, rushed to hospital with a rather traumatic reaction to an anti nausea drug at week 7, and have just been riding out the worst of it since. Have been fortunate with scan and harmony results so far, and joy of joys I think the nausea has begun to ease in last two days (fingers crossed) but that isn't why I'm here...

Possible trigger, apologies in advance for the difficult subject matter

I wanted to ask the advice of you ladies who are in the 2nd tri, how you stay positive regarding risks of losing the pregnancy during this period. I have constant doubt and anxiety present that I will lose this at any time, which is maybe linked to the early hospitalisation (sudden realisation of vulnerability/how quickly things can go wrong), but also I'm guessing it's because, this being my first, I have no experience of a 'good' pregnancy and the pressure feels higher because of the age factor.

Obviously I would probably be blissfully unaware of the risks were it not for the internet, but I've found a huge amount of positive info too (including boards like this).

I guess I feel a little isolated with these thoughts- others at my stage seem so positive, buying baby gear, making plans...I admire their positivity but can't bring myself to go there as I feel it could all be over so quickly. I suspect that all buying and organising will be left to the absolute last minute if I get that far!

I don't really share these feelings beyond my partner as I realise how negative it sounds, and I do have moments of excitement and happiness, but not without this huge looming dark shadow of worry. I'm really curious as to whether others feel/have felt like this, and did you overcome the anxiety (before birth!)

Thanks so much for any insights

Hi mighty, I'm 22 weeks now and struggled through the 9 weeks between 12 week and 21 week scan. 2 friends of mine lost their little ones at 16 weeks and i lost my first at 10.5 weeks back in May.
It's been very tricky but i've just tried to stay positive. I did see my midwife at 19 weeks as i wasn't sleeping and she listened to the heartbeat, which reassured me.
We haven't bought anything yet - we were waiting for the anomaly scan (all fine) and I think now we'll wait until the January sales.
I'm 41, but considered low risk and eveeything is fine with baby so I have to be reassured, but I spend my days worrying that I'm overdoing thing.
I think it's perfectly normal to feel anxious, but try to enjoy it as well.

Hi Helbelle,

Thanks so much for responding. It's tragic to hear about loss at any stage- I'm sorry you've experienced it, your friends too.

I admit I'm terrified, and also feel very conscious of doing too much, despite being so active before. I can't even bring myself to have sex, despite knowing it bears no relationship.

When I allow myself to engage I'm pretty much veering between the edge of tears and excited hopefulness, trying to reassure myself that life will take care of itself- what's meant to be is meant to be, etc, but it's definitely hard! I really appreciate you sharing your experience - I suspected my anxiety was quite rational but there's always the tendency to think 'is this normal?'

I'm due at the midwife on the 19th, and am booked for a private, slightly early anomaly scan on the 22nd for a bit of pre-Christmas reassurance (my NHS one won't be until week 21 due to new year and I don't think I can wait that long). Trust me to be bang on 20 weeks on 1st Jan...

It's good to hear you've made it to 22 weeks- I hope you're able to relax a little more now and wish you much luck.
Thanks again

christmas, glad all went well and hope test come back with out need to do again

welcome MM, tbh i am/was the same as you, first preg at 43 after 10yrs ttc and 5 private ivf

for the first 3mths i was paranoid that something would happen to bubs/mc as had taken so long to get here and tbh prob a very last chnace baby iyswim

i had acupuncture every week or so, costly at £50 and needles put in pressure points to help, i am dubious over such treatment but did it as needed reassurance

i have been so sick, diagnosed with hg that with all the sickness i kinda knew bubs was ok , tho the days im not sick, even on tablets im worry

i cant help you with your worry, sorry, though i saying i feel the same may help that your feelings are normal, esp for us oldies, first preg

i did do the countdown to week 20, and now waiting for w24 then i feel i may relax more as if bubs did pop out a real chance she may survive

and sex, we havent had it either, was advised by ivf clinic not till 12w, then df is worried we may cause a bleed etc, i have spoke to clinic, hospital, mw etc, all say it is safe, and think how many preg woman have sex etc ......

but df says no,this baby has taken years to come, so i do understand, and kinda feel the same, tho i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo horney ......... tmi

once past 12w

Hi blondes, thanks for responding and congratulations on your much wanted pregnancy! Heroic effort.
I followed the HG thread throughout the worst of my sickness and remember you well - I have massive admiration for how upbeat you've remained through something so hideous!! Are you feeling any better now? Still on meds? I really hope it's calmed down for you.

Thanks for sharing your experiences too- it's funny, I thought I'd feel confident at each 'milestone' after 12 weeks, harmony, etc, but actually the goal posts just move!! I like your rationale for week 24- I might adopt that...only 8 to go!

So funny about the sex thing too...I dream about it a LOT and in my dreams I feel great, then I wake up, feeling shit kicks in and I suddenly feel sooo deeply unsexy! So that alone has stopped us getting anywhere so far, let alone my passion killing fears...!
Should probably just let go and go for it-might actually make me less anxious?! Just terrified of causing a bleed as have had no spotting during this and know I would panic.
Great that your DF is so sweet about it- hope the time zips by for you now!

On an acupuncture note, I had one session at 13 weeks, and my already crap sickness took a massive nosedive for 48 hours after! Avoided it since, although if it would help with the stress I might try again...
Night for now,
Have a good week everyone

I'm a lot better then I was tho still sick sometimes resulting almost like the exorcist 😂

Refuse to stop going out. If going to be im going to be sick. Trot off to toilet or throw up in my ever supply of coop 10p bags

It's perfectly normal to feel how we do. Infertility sucks and then we get preg and worry

I'm hoping next week as 24w I will worry less. ESP as hope to feel bubs kick more

I do get butterflies movements but want Def prods and kicks 😂😂

AND sex I feel the same no bleeding so far but if we did have sex and bleed .......

Plus I do have a low lying placenta and doc say unlikely to bleed and try tho if so bled then stop and course df hearing that made him more adement. Bless him

Mighty.... I have a feeling I may be in your shoes if I make it that far..... Currently around 7 weeks pregnant.... The thing that is helping me at the moment is knowing each day that passes, the risk of mc is falling..... I am also re-reading a lively book by Julia Indichova called the fertile female ...that I read around the time I was diagnosed as perimenopausal/ associated fertility challenges ...In amoung the new age stuff she has a a lot of wise words.... Works with imagery etc...... The boom is also full of positive case studies (including of those who found alternative routes to parenting, so it is not Pollyanna, nor does it avoid the dark places we can worry ourselves into)....

Better that and getting outside for brisk walks, I am just about staying sane!

24w midwife check today. All went well and so lovely to hear bubs galloping heart again and mw could feel where bubs head and spine was

So reassuring to hear heart every few weeks

I had quite a lot of sex in my first pregnancy and no ill effects so I am not worried about it... I felt the endorphins would do the baby good! Right now it is more the sore nipples that mean I can't bear to be touched, hoping that passes.

Re. Fears, I found it got a lot easier in the last trimester because of the kicking. Feeling the baby move is really reassuring. Also you know if you are delivered there is s good chance of survival.

I did go in to triage once when baby seemed not to move as much but all was fine. Early pregnancy is much harder I think because you can't check anything for yourself!

Good news Blondes. Are you getting clear kicks yet? I can't remember when they get past the butterfly stage and have more welly...

No def kicks yet :(

But def flutterings /movement

Tho as placenta over cervix and low , I was told I may not feel as much as others :(

Tho hopefully past 24w/6mths I will