Staying posifrickentive- Thread 9 for ladies pg after mc

[sundayraspberry]

Right that wasn't so hard! Let's hope everyone finds us still

cheeky, take care of yourself x

20 week scan tomorrow - dreading it. Today I was brave though and told my husband how much I hate scans (haven't dared share that with him considering everyone else is always super excited about them!)

I just hope everything's going to be ok. Sleepless night ahead!

So sorry to hear that cheeky. I hope you've got good support around you in real life.

Thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow northern. Understand completely why you would hate scans, hope your husband did too. Let us know how you get on

tinkly I really hope your scan goes well tomorrow. I must admit, I've started thinking about a scan at 9 weeks. Only two weeks away but I feel like having a six week scan with the baby being behind on growth already is just too scary

cheeky I'm very sorry for you . Good that you got seen today tho and Tuesday isn't too long to wait for the next bloods, it's the waiting that's the worst part. I opted for surgical management when i mc'd at 5 weeks gestation as I think I'd lost it least 4-5 weeks before mmc was picked up at scan. Had a 'good' experience with surgical management and minimal bleeding after, ask away if there's anything else you want to know x

Northern I hate scans too! Doesn't help that I know all the sonographers at my hospital. Good luck, you'll feel much more relaxed after x

Hi everyone, I haven't been on for a while - been so busy with work and tired with being pregnant! I'm now 29w3d and my anxiety about baby is starting to come back. I love my little boy so much already and can't stop reading threads about stillbirth and getting absolutely terrified. He already feels like my entire world :-(

So sorry to hear your news cheeky, take care of yourself and big hugs at this horrible time.

Northern, everything crossed for your scan, I reall felt like I turned a corner at mine and could start to relax.

36 weeks tomorrow and I can't beleive how quickly time is now going. This really is a lottery that thankfully most people win. For those of you googling EPs, mine was the most pain I have ever experienced and ramped up from "twinges" to agony over a few hours. I had had light bleeding for about 10 days before I went to the GP and had no idea I was even pregnant. So absolutely, be vigilant but if you are unlucky enough to have one, you'll know!

When it goes right, pregnancy is truly amazing. I am still anxious that this baby may not come home but I think my fears are in proportion to the risks. I truly feel blessed to have got this far, and it really makes up for the horrors of the past. The 2 years of TTC, EP, MMC, even the last 20 years of PMT!!!

eastend thanks for the info on ep! I think I've moved on from doctor googling myself an ectopic pregnancy diagnosis. I'm now in the flat denial stage that I'm even pregnant at all, which I'm sure is not healthy (or just as bad as constant googling). Got doctor on Tuesday I'm hoping she takes my anxiety seriously and gets me some help.

Lol!! I think being in denial about being pregnant is a good thing. We went on a long anticipated holiday to Cuba when I was 7 weeks for a 3 week holiday and not being able to google every last symptom was actually a god send. I was forced to be very fatalistic about the whole thing and when we had a reassurance scan on our return I couldn't beleive it was still there bobbing away. 9 months is a long time to stress about every little thing, your body simply can't be on high alert all the time. You have plenty of time to bond with the little bean as things progress. Try to stay positive ladies!

my fears are in proportion to the risks

I like your way of putting it Eastend and I shall aspire to do the same. Fortunately I've been very well throughout my pregnancy and, like you, am hoping this puts me in good stead for bringing home a healthy little one.

Hey Sophia you've done well to keep your anxiety problems in check so far. Is there anything particularly that's caused you to start worrying again? Perhaps being tired from work etc hasn't helped x

Northern I remember you from way back on the last thread -think we are just a few weeks apart.
Just popping on to say I have everything crossed for you and to share that when they closed the door for our 20 week scan I just burst into tears as I was so so scared. She was lovely and gave me some tissues and a hand hold before starting. As soon as she found heartbeat I felt better and then everything checked out alright.
It is impossible to feel just total excitement after a loss as you lose your faith things will be ok but take a deep breath and we're all here for support!

Great news, Tinkly! Fingers crossed for you x

Tinkly that's awesome news. Please don't feel guilty about the scan, I'm sorry I made you feel that way xx

Lovely news Tinkly

sophia I don't think we've "met" but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're suffering with anxiety. I think it is hard as you get closer to the other end - certainly for me I felt like there was so much more at stake the later I got. Stillbirth is an appalling and terrifying possibility but it is not the likely outcome. You can reduce the risk of it by being vigilant about your baby's movement and getting any concerns checked out properly. Talk to your MW about your anxiety, let him/her reassure you that by FAR the most likely outcome is a live healthy baby. Would some yoga/swimming/relaxation CDs etc help at all? I do understand the fear, I really do, I've had a late loss and subsequent pregnancy myself, and I don't want to dismiss your worries because they are real, and no one knows for sure what will happen, but all you can do is take it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. Do whatever you need to to get through and manage the stress levels. Would a private third trimester scan that checked out baby/cord/placenta help ease any worries? How long til mat leave?

Nearly there Eastend how exciting!

I have a GP appointment tomorrow - I've got autoimmune thyroid disease which complicates pregnancy a bit. It's important the thyroid hormone levels are monitored closely esp in the first trimester otherwise there's a heap of increased risks to me & baby, and in the past I've needed a big drug increase to keep me stable in the early weeks. A shame in someways to have to make it "real" so soon (just over 4 weeks), denial is a nice protector, but it's got to be done. I actually really like this very start bit where I feel like I have a secret minature "baby" who is just mine. And not really feeling sick yet so it's nice to just go a bit misty eyed over the 2 lines on a stick and then crack on with the day like normal. I'm been batch cooking and deep cleaning and gardening so that I can flop in a nauseated heap for a few weeks and hopefully the place won't go totally to hell in a handcart. Ha!

And keeping the toilet spotless incase I have to get rather intimately acquainted with it

Great news tinkly

I was really sick last night and this morning. Surely it can't be morning sickness already at 5 weeks!

Tinkly, wonderful news, so glad to hear it went well.

Northern, hope your scan also holds positive things. Thinking of you today.

Eastend, I too love that comment about fears being in proportion to risks. That is really something to aim for. It's not that anxiety is unjustifiable, but that it really pays to try to keep those feelings in proportion to reality. I'm going to try to keep this in mind.

Butterfly hope your GP appointment goes well. It's good that you're getting the attention you need, even if it means you can't deny your way through those first few weeks.

Macauley, same for you. In my area there is a special maternity mental health team (not sure that's exactly what they're called) - perhaps you could ask for referral to that? Have you had your booking in appointment? They asked me some questions about how I'd been feeling - designed to pick up on this type of thing I imagine. So maybe you could pre-empt that if you haven't met the midwives yet.

My scan is on Wednesday. I'm trying not to be too nervous but there are a lot of what ifs...? Will try to focus on fears in proportion to risks, etc.

Not had booking in yet mike. Tomorrow is the first medical appointment and first time admitting to anyone other than DH and here that I'm pregnant. I'm def going to mention my anxiety and would be very open to speak to someone. I do want an early scan but even though I have my head in the sand about being pregnant, I'm still nervous about facing up to anything!

Good luck for Wednesday!

I'm hoping for a call from the midwife today so that I can talk through my anxiety. I feel like I've lived a lifetime since I found out and it's only been 5 days! I'm not feeling many symptoms at all but I never did with my dd so I'm trying not to stress about that. I feel a bit nauseous and more tired than usual and my boobs are sore but that's it.

The midwife has said that she will see me in three weeks and send me for a reassurance scan. She was so nice and really empathetic. I just know there is nothing they can do which is why I'm so anxious. At least I've got something to focus on now - if I get through the next three weeks I will have a scan. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Not long to wait whatser! I bet it'll feel like a life time though.

It's playing on my mind that the baby measured small last week. The difference between 6 weeks and 5 weeks is 6mm to 2mm. That's a massive difference. Tempted to pay for a private scan regardless of the fact that I want to avoid them! My midwife has also shifted my booking in appointment from the 1st to the 13th because the scan means booking in is too early