Staying posifrickentive- Thread 9 for ladies pg after mc

[sundayraspberry]

Right that wasn't so hard! Let's hope everyone finds us still

That's good whatser! I think three weeks during this bit where time is standing still is more manageable to focus on than getting to the 12 week Mark. I've got my fingerscrossed for a similar result with the doc tomorrow.

Did you ovulate later chelle? If a scan will put your mind at rest book it. It's so tough all this anxiety and not knowing.

I don't think I did ovulate later. I had a bfp at about 11dpo based on a regular cycle so I couldn't have happened that late. I'm going to try to convince dh that we should have a scan

Good like Mike and sound like good news Whatshername!

Thanks sundayraspberry I think I do need to give myself more credit for getting this far and staying relatively calm. I have come off my anti-depressants (not because there is a huge risk in being on them, but because I knew I would worry about any potential difficulties they could cause with the birth), so that has made dealing with the pregnancy hormones more difficult. Work has been stressful too which hasn't helped.

Hi butterfly and thank you for your support and advice :-) I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been doing yoga, which us brilliant, but have been too busy to go lately! Normally running is my 'go-to' for mood-boosting, but I've been told not to exercise as I had a low-lying placenta at 20 weeks, so am really missing that. I've now got pelvic pain, which means I can't even enjoy going for relaxing walks! The plus side of the low-lying placenta is that I get a scan at 32 weeks to see if that's moved, so will hopefully get some reassurance from that or, if not, I'll at least have a definite due date as they'll book me in for a C-section. I hope your doctor's appointment goes well :-)

Good news for me - scan went well and we're expecting a baby boy 💙

Now to relax!

Aww lovely news congrats northern on your little boy

Thinking of you this morning cheeky.

Lovely news Northern, so glad all looking well with you baby boy.

Sorry about the dreadful spelling etc there!

Ahh fantastic news northern, I'm so pleased!

Right, GP appointment done, she is the same lovely GP who looked after me through my last (unsuccessful) pregnancy, and she was really pleased for me. Of course I can't take congratulations and have to rebuff them by saying "yeah well, early days and I'm counting no chickens..." but such is my experience.

We've had a good discussion about my asthma meds (just had a bout of uncontrolled asthma/attack so been on some high dose stuff) and got a plan for managing that. Also got bloods booked to check on my thyroid, and got my first MW appointment next week to get consultant referral etc underway.

Hey ho, I knew there would be a big whoosh of appointments, I don't really feel ready for it but there we go.

Beautiful day outside though

Another one with a good gp appointment I'm getting an early reassurance scan and got my booking appointment sorted. He listened to all my anxiety and helped me work through each one.

Hey I'm glad the Appts went well ladies

Got the bloods taken this morning - she phoned a few hours ago they have dropped to 45. I feel better knowing 100% what's going on now. I've also started bleeding properly so I'm glad things are moving. I can hopefully start looking forward. Once it's all over I'm going to go for a massage. Really need one! The month of Ramadan is coming up so that will keep me busy. And then a family wedding shortly after. Hopefully by then can start thinking of TTC and also will have a better idea of what's happening at work.

Here's to planning anyway.. Will no doubt be an emotional roller coaster but what else is there for it.

Wishing you ladies all the best of luck and please keep in touch. I'll be on the TTC after miscarriage thread!

I hope your stay on the ttc thread is a short one cheeky, take care and we'll keep a space warm for you here x

Nice to hear of your productive appointments, a good gp is worth their weight in gold!

And great news about your scan northern

Congratulations Northern! Wonderful news about your baby boy.

Good to hear about positive appointments for others too.

My scan is tomorrow, at 12.30. Really don't know how I feel about it tonight. On one hand, I've had no bleeding or other worrisome symptoms this time. On the other hand, I know what can happen in a way, I feel like I'm in a position of strength compared to those women who go in there full of optimism and naiveté. It's got to be better to know what the possibilities are, even when they are awful ones?

Congratulations Northern that is lovely news. Hope everything goes well tomorrow Mike! Hugs to ensure everyone here who needs one. I'm feeling particularly anxious today. Nothing to be done though, just trying to keep moving forwards and trying to stay positive.

cheeky saw your post earlier on the ttc after mc board, Big hugs to you. Take care of yourself. Always here if you need me

mike good luck for tomorrow. I kind of no what you mean about the knowing what can happen and being wary. Nearly joined the ante-natal club for my due date earlier today but couldn't do it. People were talking about what equipment they were going to get for there baby and I knew I couldn't post. I wish I could get back that positive optimising and naivety but it's long gone now. I'm just focussing on getting through each day.

cheeky good to hear from you. I'm glad you know for sure now, uncertainty is so stressful. Sounds like it's getting going naturally - I hope it's quick and the pain is manageable. I found hot water bottles pressed against my pelvis really helped, and very firm pressure/rubbing on my lower back by DH. So very sorry you are going through this. Here;s a virtual shoulder to cry on and hand to hold xxx

Good luck tomorrow mike. Yes I know what you mean too. I think the loss of innocence and blind optimism can be quite protective almost. I lost my first pregnancy (mmc at 20 weeks) and it was like the world turned upside down/inside out. It changed DH and I forever, and for a long time I really mourned the loss of confidence/hope/naivety/expectancy and the damaged people we had become. But strangely enough it paved the way for getting through my recent 13 week loss much less traumatically. Of course it hurt and I grieved very intensely, but the period of grief was so much briefer and I never felt traumatised by the experience. I remember when the sonographer had told me the baby had abnormalities and needed a consultant diagnosis, she said "I'm so sorry, and you're here on your own..." I have to admit I almost shrugged and said "it's ok, I've had worse". Partially in shock I think, but I think loss can harden you, and I feel more brittle these days - harder and tougher, but when I crack I shatter.

Macauley I didn't even look at the AN clubs! I loved being on one in my first pregnancy, - I was just such a chirpy excited naive first timer - but for all the others I've known it is Not The Place For Me. Ole bag of misery that I am . I feel like I go round with some kind of "Bad News Approaching" sign on me depressing and scaring people if I tell my history. And if I don't tell it, it's a totally fake experience so what's the point?

One day at a time.

In a support group I am part of, we have a saying for these very stressful pregnancies after loss: Today I am pregnant.
All you can ever do is concentrate on getting through this particular day without cracking under the strain, it's too much to try and envisage or imagine the end result.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your good wishes. Everything went well at the scan for me today. They found a heartbeat straight away, then did all the other measurements and so on. I'll be 13 weeks tomorrow. I have a few days to wait for the all clear from the trisomy screening tests but I'm trying to be proportional in my worries about these things.

Thank you for all your support. It was actually fine waiting to go in there today, thinking about what butterfly said - the loss of positivity and naiveté was a sad one but once it's been lost, it can't be lost again. I hope everyone else had good days too.

Wonderful news. Fingers crossed for the next but

That's good news mike

Brilliant news Mike!!!

Excellent news. Will you get the bloods back this week?

Bleurgh, here comes the quease...

Thank you.

She said they normally say they'll call within 3 days if there's a high risk result but because of bank holiday, it could be up til Tuesday. If I haven't heard by Tuesday, it's not a high risk and I'll get a letter in the post. I would really like to think if something bad came up, they'd call ASAP but I suppose there is a waiting list for all these things. Either way, it's better to know, isn't it?

My DP was asking me on the way there whether I was absolutely sure there was a baby in there. Think he thought there was a small but significant chance I dreamt up the whole thing. Think he was quite surprised to see head, legs, arms, etc etc all wiggling away, as real as anything. We still haven't told anyone, I think we'll wait til Tuesday (which hopefully will pass without event) and then think about how to do that.

Thanks again, ladies. It really helps to remember we're none of us alone in these things.

at your DP wondering if the whole thing was a figment of your imagination! For my first 12 week scan I remember as soon as the monitor went on we saw her bopping around and DH exclaimed in amazement "wow, they can move!" I think he thought they just lie there in stasis for months on end