Staying posifrickentive- Thread 9 for ladies pg after mc

[sundayraspberry]

Right that wasn't so hard! Let's hope everyone finds us still

Hugs AKP so sorry to hear your news

Having a family member pregnant at same time as you is awful. My SIL is due the same week as was my due date. I have no answer for you as I constantly struggle with this. I've just had to block them out for my own sanity which I know is not the grown up thing to do. But you get by whatever way you can.

I'm so so sorry akp. I was really praying for you loads. No words really. Big tight hug X

I agree that you need to do whatever it takes to cope. My heart is broken for you. It is just not fair at all.

Everything you feel is totally normal, life is just so unfair. I cried and cried when my SIL announced her pregnancy just a couple of months after my MMC, it helped that DH was really upset too and we retreated into our bubble for a while. People understand xxx

So sad for you AKP. There is nothing fair about this at all. You did not deserve to go through this again. I wish there was something helpful that we could say.

Terribly sorry AKP, hope your OH is looking after you . Totally normal to feel angrysad about SILs pregnancy, my best friend was due 3 wks before the due date for the one i mc'd, fortunately I was pg again by then but it was hard leading up to it x

Cheeky does Ramadan fall before or after Eid? Just wondering if you are normally expected to fast and whether you'll have to tell people why you aren't? I think rearranging your scan for after is a good idea, I was tempted to book an early scan before Xmas as my 12 week scan was 3rd Jan but I'm glad I held out and the festivities were a good distraction.

Oh AKP I'm so sorry, there is no justice is there. You poor love, you sound so shocked. That's rubbish about your SIL too . I lost friends after my mmc who were pregnant then. I couldn't cope so I didn't see them and we lost touch. But you can't even really do that with family. I'm so sorry xx

AKP I'm so sorry such shit news. Look after yourself. It'll be hard with SIL. Mine announced her pregnancy a couple of weeks after my mmc. It was bitter sweet and very emotional.

You guys have got my thinking about my mmc. I had a dream when I was about 6 weeks and woke up in tears telling my DH that the baby was dead. He reassured me and we shrugged it off. When I had a bleed at 11.5 weeks I knew it was bad news. A scan showed development of the baby to be at 6 weeks. I felt awful that I knew but ignored it.

Really thinking about you apk.

Sunday - Ramadan will begin 6/7th June depending on moon sightings. I don't think I'll have to explain much as since my surgery for pancreatic tumour I haven't really fasted for the last few years. Last year I managed a few but it was purely on how I was feeling. I don't think I'll get many questions to be honest.

Chelle you had a bad dream but you weren't to know.

I'm just feeling so anxious today. At the docs now waiting to be seen. 6 weeks is so early yet I feel so invested already. I almost want to book private scans for every couple of weeks. That would be 3 scans - £150. DH would totally disagree though.

It's not that the scan can promise anything but it takes the fear away that you have been thinking it's all ok for weeks on end when it's not. I keep thinking if something happened between a scan at 8 weeks and a scan at 10 weeks then I wouldn't feel as tricked but maybe that's all in my head.

That's what I'm doing cheeky. If i get to 7 weeks I'll get a reassurance scan on the NHS (it was promised to me after the mmc) I think I'll pay for one or two before the 12 week. Especially as I go on holiday when I'm 12 weeks. It won't change the outcome but it will help me get through. Thinking of you AKP

Thanks, I might have to take it up for serious consideration. I would even consider doing it without dh's knowledge to be honest. He gets it but not fully.

Still waiting to be seen at the docs.

Oh dear, your GP is running late! Ours are like that too, up to an hour late. I always take a book, nice bit of peace and quiet to be honest!

Gawd it's hard to decide about scans isn't it. In the past I have had early private ones at 6, 9 and 10 weeks (different pgs, not all in one!). They were hugely reassuring at the time, but with the baby I just lost I had a 9 week scan and thought "so far, so good" as it was all looking dandy but then at 12 weeks they told us he had lethal abnormalities that it wouldn't have been possible to see at 9 weeks. And that the neural tube defect would have occurred before 6 weeks but not be visible until at least 11.... which has left me a little lost as to whether a scan before 12 weeks would be any help giving me confidence at all!!

I have often moaned to DH that we should be fitted with little windows to let us see what is happening in there.

I was also having a strop this morning that FMU is needed for testing. I am deeply clumsy first thing and I spilt my pot of wee down the side of the loo. Arse. Line is darkening though so it wasn't a totally wasted effort.

I told my mum. She was fine really. Cautious but positive. Telling the in laws tomorrow. They are likely to try and be more 'over the top' positive which I can't handle right now. Exhaustion has really hit me today.

That's good to hear

The doc was really nice. He has known me since I was born and given my medical history of everything I went through with the cancer he said they can offer weekly blood tests until week 9 (that's when the HCG levels plateau). So I'll get the first bloods taken on Monday. I feel a bit better now although I know it can't change the outcome, it can at least change the length of time between a potential mmc and me finding out.

I don't think the early scans will stop me worrying but they will give me something to focus on and enable me to feel, unlike last time, that if something goes wrong I won't have to wait all of that time to find out.

Whatsername I know what you mean. Good luck telling the inlaws.

I don't think I'll be telling mine until later, all being well. Mil still goes on about the miscarriage and if I've made 'peace' with it she is it drags it up as if there must have been something drastically wrong rather than just unlucky.

Cheeky - I am just shy of 11w pregnant and had a private scan at 9w+3d without telling DH. Complicated reasons here but I'm so glad I did.

AKP I'm so so sorry. Huge gentle hugs Xxx

Lily did you tell him after?

Terrible day here. Thank you for all your support ladies. I'm going to leave here now, but wish you all have the happy, healthy pregnancies you deserve xx

Thinking of you akp take care and be easy on yourself xx

Will be thinking of you AKPas you start wading through this nightmare again. Love to you xx

I think it's bad news for me. I've had cramping like period is about to arrive all throughout really but no bleeding however the clear blue digital weeks indicator has dropped to 1-2 this morning instead of 3+. I had already asked the doctor last night about it showing 2-3 last week when it should've have been 3-4 and he told me not to worry it and he isn't sure how they can offer such a product because the range of what your HCG is can be so big. Anyway these weekly bloods should give a better idea.