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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

help

450 replies

nikcola · 02/06/2004 23:05

im was going to change my name cause im too shook up,
i stopped taking my pill a month ago and me and dp have been having sex as normal but he hasnt been coming inside me (sorry to be graphic) my period is a week late ans i just done 2 pg tests and they are both positive i really dont want to be pg and i dont no what to do im s**ting myself the docs is shut till tuesday what do i do

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suzywong · 02/06/2004 23:08

Oh dear nikcola,
I'm afraid to say it does seem that you are PG.
I'm afraid I don't know what else to say, but what ever you decide you kow that Mumsnet will be listening and here for you.

kalex · 02/06/2004 23:11

Sweetie,

I am so sorry, but a pregnancy test rarely gives a false positive!
Why did you stop taking the pill, r u trying but this is 2 soon.
If you don't want this at least you have 3 days to tallk over they options with your partner. Big hugs (((())))

twiglett · 02/06/2004 23:11

message withdrawn

colinsmommy · 02/06/2004 23:17

Nikcola--Hugs. Know exactly how you feel. I took 4 tests, but they all said the same thing, and I ended up having a panic attack and hyperventilating on the floor. I wish I could do more than offer my sympathy and support for you. I know everyone else here feels the same way.

CookieMonster · 02/06/2004 23:32

oh nikcola, I'm sorry to hear you feel this way ... keep talking on here if it helps.
A big hug from the CM xx

Dec · 02/06/2004 23:46

Hi Nikcola - you poor thing - I know just how you feel. All I can suggest that you and your DP sit down together and talk it through - either way we're all here to support you and wish you all the best. xxx

Original poster

nikcola · 02/06/2004 23:53

oh shit so im def pg then i cant have a baby i just cant we aint even together properly, i cant wait till tuesday to see my gp will they see me at the hospital

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aloha · 02/06/2004 23:59

Oh Nikcola, why did you stop taking the pill? Thewithdrawal method is really, really unreliable I'm afraid. You can have a termination. I am sorry to say that you are pregnant, but at this stage it won't be physically traumatic. I am very sorry this has happened.

aloha · 02/06/2004 23:59

And you won't be judged here. Poor you.

Original poster

nikcola · 03/06/2004 00:02

ive allready had one termination before dd but it was docs fault no mine long story, how can i do it again im a proper prat i stoped taking th pill cause it makes me feel sick stupid reason i no

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Original poster

nikcola · 03/06/2004 00:03

do they do the abortion pill on the nhs

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Original poster

nikcola · 03/06/2004 00:06

god i sound such a bitch

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Original poster

nikcola · 03/06/2004 00:08

if i went to the hospital would they see me i need to no now its driving me mad

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zebra · 03/06/2004 00:16

I'm 95% sure it's too late for the morning after pill - have to take it in first few days after unprotected sex. Going to hospital now won't get you anywhere.

Find a family planning clinic local to you, Nikcola, and make an appt. as soon as you & they can. They'll give you good support about your options. Esp. how to prevent this mess from happening again.

Quackers · 03/06/2004 00:38

I am sorry you are in this position. Please don't do anything without telling DH/P. Don;t go through this alone, it;s too much for you to do on your own. You should be able to get seen on Tuesday and go through the motions of a termination if that is your final decision. Maybe it;s a good thing you won't get seen till then as the decision you make won't be rash. You have a 3 days to go through all of your options and how they affect you and your family. Make sure it;s the best decision for all of you. HUGS {{{{{}}}}}

WideWebWitch · 03/06/2004 12:28

Nikcola, sorry to hear this. I think you'll find a Brook advisory clinic open today, they're here . Or you could read the BPAS site, just for info Agree with the others, you are pregnant. It is too late for the morning after pill but if you're thinking of the so-called abortion pill, I think it's called RU486 and there are probably details on the BPAS site. Keep posting here if you want to talk. You might have to be pushy to get a quick and therefore early termination on the NHS if that's what you want.

WideWebWitch · 03/06/2004 12:30

But it's perfectly possible, sorry, just realised my post sounded v negative! And if you don't want to be pregnant you can still have a termination: it makes no difference whatsoever that you've had one before. But I think you need to talk to someone and I don't think for one minute that it'll be an easy decision.

BIBIBOO · 03/06/2004 13:28

Nikcola,

Sorry to hear you're so distressed about this. You are not a prat or a bitch or any of the other things you are thinking - you are human and we're all pregnant because we're just human, for good or bad. Everyone makes mistakes, error judgements or whatever, but you can't do this alone. You need to talk to dp and others who aren't so involved to decide what course of action to follow.

Good luck, and remember Mumsnet is here for you, you won't be judged or anything and it's almost anonymous! Hope you're feeling better and have a decision soon.
xxxx

karen01 · 03/06/2004 13:42

Nikcola- So sorry to here you feel this way. But you do need to speak to someone, I was in a similar position when i feel pg with DD I was in a long term relationship which I had ended the night b4 found out (but took him back on a trial basis the same evening long story) I did go to the abortion clinics to talk to the proffessionals there, but knew i couldn't go through with it after speaking to them. (Sorry if this has come out wrong not very good at explaining myself!!! ) I suppose what I am trying to say is don't make any rash desicions.
Maybe after all this is sorted ( either way) you could think about having the coil fitted, as i can't take the pill or have the injections, the coil means you don't have to worry really if you are on antibiotics etc.

Hope you get seen soon and get the answers you want.

Take care of yourself hunny, {{{{{}}}} lots of hugs. x

Original poster

nikcola · 03/06/2004 14:07

thanks to everyone for your advice, im going to the family planning clinic today cause the brook is too far away from me, i hope they can help me im realy nervous now i dont feel pg, dp doesnt want another baby cause of all the problems with his family hes being such a bastard about it all hes saying its all my fault (witch it is) but i need him to give me support and he just thinks im making a big deal about it , i cant tell my bestfriend because her sister lost her baby last week and shes still really cut up about it and i dont want to upset her even more

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Samcj · 03/06/2004 14:37

Nicola I was in a similar position to you, got pregnant accidentally and really did not know what to do. My DP was horrible as well. He was devastated and told me time and time again that he would leave me if I didn't have an abortion, which is something I just wasn't able to do.
What I am trying to say is make sure that you are making the decision for the right reasons, ultimately and selfishly for you only. My feeling was that if he was willing to leave me now, then he might leave me at the next problem we face together.
Also, it can't be just your fault by the very nature in which babies are made!! He quite literally put it there!
I'll tell you this because I am worried you feel you have to have an abortion for him, I like I said decided not to, and told him I was leaving (meant it, had own flat sorted). It was only then he changed his mind, and ever since he has been as wonderful as a father to be could be, and looking forward to our arrival later this year.
One other thing before I finally shut up, you have found out quite early which means you do have some time to spend really thinking about what you want to do. Get help and make sure you look at all the options available to you. And please make sure you do what you truly want to, this is YOUR decision.
Lots of thoughts and hugs.xxx
Good luck at the clinic.

nicmum2boys · 03/06/2004 14:38

nikcola, just read this thread, and really feeling for you, hope the fpc could offer you some help.
I used to work as a counsellor for an organisation called Care Centes Network this is thier website (www.pregnancy.org.uk incase link does not work). They are a non directional, non judjemental (ie they don't tell you what to do) voluntary counselling service, and are there to give you (and your partner if he wants) time and space to talk over your options, and help and support whatever you decide to do (eg post abortion counselling, or you can continue to see them for as long as you want through pregnancy and beyond). Not sure where you are based but if you get in touch with them they can tell you if there is a centre near you.
I know everyone here will support you, but thought if you wanted to see someone face to face you will find them a great support.
Hope everything works out. Thinking of you.

aloha · 03/06/2004 14:42

One thing's for sure, it isn't ALL your fault! Biologically, that's impossible. Good luck at the clinic.

Original poster

nikcola · 04/06/2004 00:19

ok i didnt go i wimped out i didnt want to go on my own so im gonna go to the docs on tuesday and tell him what i want to do,

im going out tomorow nite to try and cheer my bestfriend up i dont think ill be much use to her

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Original poster

nikcola · 04/06/2004 03:38

anyone there?

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