help

[nikcola]

im was going to change my name cause im too shook up,
i stopped taking my pill a month ago and me and dp have been having sex as normal but he hasnt been coming inside me (sorry to be graphic) my period is a week late ans i just done 2 pg tests and they are both positive i really dont want to be pg and i dont no what to do im s**ting myself the docs is shut till tuesday what do i do

[suzywong]

Dear nikcola,
Hope it goes well tomorrow and that it is the next step to getting your life sorted out and to a place where you want to be, the first has been to give up DP, the second has been to enroll and college.
For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing, don't worry about what other people may think. And I do hope the GP gives you the advice you need about contraception that works for you.
We are all thinking of you.

[Nutcracker]

Good luck tommorow Nikcola, you are not being selfish at all, you are being sensible and brave and doing what is best for you and your Dd.
I think seeing your counciller again is a good idea. I had no support at all after my termination and I suffered with nightmares. I stupidly thought i didn't deserve any help. I was wrong though.

Feel free to contact me at any time

Nutty xxx

[nikcola]

just a quick post before bed,
nicemum2boys- ill look at the web site after ive posted this thanks for that, yeh its a syciatrist i think, it wasnt a councior (cant spell it but i think u no what i mean) that i used to see i was seeing him on and off for about 4 years i tryed to comit suicide twice when i was 14 and they thought i was mad i wasnt i just need someone to listen to me.



nutty- sorry you had to go through it on your own its not nice i know, you did deserve counciling, i will post tomorow after ive been to the doctors, tomoorw is the day of my friends sisters babys funeral he died at 12 hours old thats another thing thats loading on the guilt

[nikcola]

bump- just wanted to make sure nutty and nicemum2boys didnt think i was egnoring them night all xxx

[HelloMama]

Hi nikcola i hope everything goes well for you tomorrow. I don't know how old you are but if you're under 25 you should try to get in touch with a Brook clinic as they have counsellors available to talk through with you all your options, which can be helpful, especially if you're really undecided about what to do. You can find your nearest clinic at www.brook.org.uk The other suggestions in this thread are great about making a list or pros and cons etc. Another thing you could do is write a list of things that you plan to do as goals for if you decide to have the termination. This can sometimes help on the days when you're thinking about what might have been etc, for example you can instead say to yourself, "Well, I completed my college course," or "I took my daughter on a special holiday," things that you may not have been able to do if you had comtinued with the pregnancy. I hope this makes sense. However if you do decide to continue then I wish you the best of luck and don't forget that mumsnet will always be here! Also if you decide to continue with the pregnancy, get in touch with a SureStart advisor as they can also give you practical and emotional advice and help, such as benefits advice, local mother and baby groups you can get involved with and other support networks. They are supposed to be really good. I hope this helps.

[nikcola]

great i cant get a doctors appointment till 5.30 so im stuck at home all day,
hellomama, im 20, the is a brook near me but its too far we have a family planning clinic but its only open on fridays everytning is very crap round here

[SpringChicken]

Can you not just sit and wait Nikcola? I know at my surgery which is the Sundon Park one they let you sit and wait if you think it is urgent enough.

Hope everything goes Ok for you.

[nikcola]

thats what im doing at 5.30 ive got a amergency appointment and ill have to wait till the doc is free, the thing is there are 3 docs and 4 nurses at my sergery (its the priory in dunstable) and today there is only 1 doctor working i no im not en emergensy i just want hing sorted out before i change my mind

[spacemonkey]

argh I expect today will seem like a very long day waiting for that appointment nikcola

you will be offered counselling if you decide on a termination, and you will be able to change your mind at any time, so do still go to the doctor.

good luck and let us know how you get on X

[SpringChicken]

The place that is too far, Are you talking about The Lodge in Luton? If not, might be worth trying there.

[windmill]

I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious Nicola. It does sound as though you are pregnant so sont want to get your hopes up but you can have a false positive, I've had two.

[nikcola]

i could of gone to the lodge but dd is ill and i cant find no one to look after her so ill have to wait till 5.30

[Blu]

Nikcola, just to send support to you. So sorry that you are in this position, and that (typically) your ex is saying it's nothing to do with him. If he had ANY guts or human compassion he would be saying 'how could we have been so daft (as you are doing), and I'm sorry for putting you in this position' But Hercules is right and he's not going to be any support or practical use EVER.
I hope that you have a sympathetic and kind GP: I know you are not that keen on doctors. If you know what's in your heart and mind, don't be afraid to speak it: practice what you are gpinmg to say in advance.
Good Luck.

[beansprout]

Hi, only just seen this. So sorry you are in this situation. I have been there too and we are all here for you. I know how frightening it is, but it will be ok. Please get all the support you need, from us, friends, family, counsellors etc

Thinking of you and sending you a gi-normous bean hug xx

[nikcola]

thank you, no your right i hate doctors ive got to see a diffrent doctor today he cant speak much english and he is not very nice but its him or nothing, i no one thing im not leaving there untill he has sorted somrthing out,
im gonna hang around on mn till i have to go out

[Twinkie]

Nickola

Look on the Marie Stopes website - they may be able to help you - they have quite a few sites round the country - sorry I can't look as am at work and have lots of people sitting behind me!!

Good luck, stay strong and stand your ground - and get rid of DP - he is doing nothing for your health or your sanity and it seems not much for your daughter either - the very fact that he knows he is hurting you and still does it says it all in my book.

Good luck XXX

[nikcola]

will i have to have a internal?

[nikcola]

when i go to the doctors that is?

[spacemonkey]

not today you won't nikcola

[Toothache]

Nikcola - If you are so scared you will regret it then how do you know it's the right decision??

I'm trying to put my personal opinion on the issue aside and see it from your point of view. I have followed your posts for a while now and can't believe what an utter shit your DP is..... but equally I can't believe you are still sleeping with him after everything he has (and still is doing) done to you. It really is a case of sleeping with the enemy, and unfortunately there are many women out there who do just that.
And now unfortunately you have found yourself in this awful situation.

I really hope you get the outcome you want from this and I also hope this gives you the strength and willpower to break away from him once and for all!

[Twinkie]

No they will just do a test probably and ask you why you want to take the course you are thnking of - have you looked on Marie Stopes yet??

Also try and ring around - get a yellow pages and ring local health clinics - your local GUM clinic might be able to give you information of somewhere you can get help.

[BIBIBOO]

Nickola,

After reading this whole thread I think you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry if you don't want to hear this but your dp sounds like a pig and having another child by him would be horrible for you adn the child. It sounds like he barely wants you and dd in his life, certainly not another child.
You are doing what's right for you and your dd, and yes, you will feel guilt and regret but you will also have the comfort of knowing you did what was best. Another child would make you miserable and that would be no good for your health mental or physical, and no good for your dd.
Please don't feel bad. You are being very brave.

Let us know what DR says

[spacemonkey]

nikcola, I have emailed you X

[motherinferior]

Nikcola, love, I am so sorry; I have literally only just seen this thread. And FWIW I think you are making the only decision you can (although if you make another one I'll back you to the hilt too!).

Take care.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[gothicmama]

Nikcola - sending my support and hugs - do what is right for you if there is anything you think we can do help you let us know