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450 replies

nikcola · 02/06/2004 23:05

im was going to change my name cause im too shook up,
i stopped taking my pill a month ago and me and dp have been having sex as normal but he hasnt been coming inside me (sorry to be graphic) my period is a week late ans i just done 2 pg tests and they are both positive i really dont want to be pg and i dont no what to do im s**ting myself the docs is shut till tuesday what do i do

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Miaou · 06/06/2004 17:46

Nothing to add to what has already been posted, except to say I've been following this thread and support you in whatever you decide to do

nicmum2boys · 06/06/2004 18:21

Hi Nikcola, You must be absolutely beside yourself by now waiting for this appointment. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you, and hoping your GP exceeds your expectations of him.

jampot · 06/06/2004 18:33

Nikcola - I've just seen this thread too - sorry to hear you're going through this. Do you not have any family support? Have you told ex dp? I'm sure you'll make the right decision

Original poster
nikcola · 06/06/2004 18:55

twinkie, ill have a look now thanks,
no i dont have any family well none that are worth telling, i no i am stupid for still sleeping with him toothache but i dont want to let go i suppose i still love him in my own funny little way,

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Toothache · 06/06/2004 18:58

Nikcola - Look what he's done/doing to you.

Original poster
nikcola · 06/06/2004 19:15

all he has done is listen to his mom and let her win he aint that bad really,
now i fell like proper sh*t my friend the one thats gone to the funrel today has just rang me she sounded really upset and asked if she could come round and me being a selfish bitch again said ive got to go to the doctors can you come round at 6 god i feel so horrible

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Original poster
nikcola · 06/06/2004 19:19

i no he is bad for me but thats proberrly why i like him

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motherinferior · 06/06/2004 19:28

YOU ARE NOT HORRIBLE.

And your love isn't a funny little way. It's big, it matters, YOU matter. Don't let him tell you otherwise. You do deserve better than this, Nikki. He IS behaving really terribly - he's caving in to his family and leaving his partner and daughter. And then having sex with someone he's hurt, and then not taking responsibility for the sex you BOTH have been happening.

Nutcracker · 06/06/2004 19:32

Nikcola, you are not horrible. Yes your friend is upset today too but you have to deal with this for your sake and your Dd's.

I also think you are doing the right thing, but I also think that you don't sound absolutly certain that it's what you want to do. Remember it has to be your desicion and don't let anyone bully you or try to change your mind, whatever you decide.

Will be thinking of you, good luck, be brave and try not to worry (pretty impossible i know), you will get through this.

P.s - I have added you to my MSN contacts

Blu · 06/06/2004 19:36

Oh sweetheart, you are NOT a selfish bitch, or anything like! Look after yourself, here and now, and then look after your friend. You don't need to feel bad because you still have feelings for your ex...but ask yourself this: you are feeling bad because you can't see your friend til after you have been to the doctors. Is your 'ex' feeling bad because he is not helping you through this crisis?

Original poster
nikcola · 06/06/2004 19:37

thanks motherinferior and nutty, im going to get the bus now to the docs ill be on here later you are all wonderfull and i love you all thank you xxxxxx

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aloha · 06/06/2004 19:47

Good luck Nikcola. I hope it went well.

Remember, you can love someone and still leave them. It is possible to do both at the same time. Loving someone doesn't force you to stay with them. You may want to, but you have a head and a heart and you need to do what is best for you and your daughter. And I don't think that being with this man is best for you at all.
He is that bad if he is blaming you for this. It is all his fault. If he wants to be with you he cannot marry someone else. If he doesn't, he should leave you alone.
I am thinking of you.

maomao · 06/06/2004 23:56

Hi nikcola,

How are you doing? Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. Hope you're okay....

Original poster
nikcola · 07/06/2004 00:42

hi, well i went to the doctors and i have to go back tomorow morning for an internal and to get my appointment with a doc at a hospital, my doc said it could take up to 4 weeks wait for the actual procedure but the apppointment with the doc should be this week and im going to really push for it to be sooner the procedure that is so now i have another horrible wait thanks again to everyone for all your support i really appericiate it nikki xxxxxxxx

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maisystar · 07/06/2004 00:53

hope all goes ok tomorrow nikcola......thinking of you xxxx

nicmum2boys · 07/06/2004 01:34

Glad you managed to make some progress. Will be thinking of you, especially tomorrow, as I get the impression internal is not what you wanted.
I know you don't want to wait for the procedure, but please please use this time to get your thoughts and feelngs as straight as you can. I know I keep harping on, but please see a counsellor of some sort. You've said at least a couple of times that you want it all over with before you change your mind. You have to be sure before you go ahead, you can't change your mind afterwards. I know it feels like you are in a dead end with only one way out, try and use this (unwanted) waiting time to your advantage.
It's not going to be easy, whichever way you go, I know, and I want you to know I'm here for you throughout. Thinking of you, and sending hugs xx.

Original poster
nikcola · 07/06/2004 02:35

thanks, no an internal aint what i wanted i hate them cant i just go for a dateing scan i have to have one anyway before the termination so why the need for an internal its stupid,
i no ill regret it nicmum2boys (sorry ive just noticed ive been spelling your name wrong) but its for the best and its what i want whatever happens its going to be at leas a couple of weeks and i no i can change my mind at the last minute.

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WideWebWitch · 07/06/2004 11:12

Hi Nikcola, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you too. If you do want a termination and you want it earlier than 4 weeks time, GET PUSHY in the doctors. Tell them you want it earlier and see what happens. They might be able to get you an earlier appointment. If you don't want to be pregnant the waiting will be terrible. Could you afford to pay? If so it could be done a lot sooner.

Fio2 · 07/06/2004 11:17

nikki, I agree with nic2boys that you should get some counselling before you make a decision. It wasnt long ago you were on here saying you wanted another child, a brother or sister for your daughter. You have also posted on here of your guilt of your first abortion. I know your exp is a complete prat but make sure you are making the right decision for yourself. If that is still to have a termination than that is fine. But I really think you need counselling first

Original poster
nikcola · 07/06/2004 17:21

i went for my internal and im 6-7 weeks pg now the shock has hit me i was hoping in the back of my mind that i was wrong and that i wasnt pg,
i moaned loads at my doc but the earlist consultation at the hospital is the end of june so ill be 10 weeks pg by then and the actual termination wiil be about a week after the consultation so ill be nearly 12 weeks pg thats the latest the nhs will do it aparently, i wasnt offered counciling or i wasnt asked to go back to my shrink so maybee i will be offered that when i go to the hospital

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lou33 · 07/06/2004 17:30

Sorry you have to wait so long Nickola. The services in your area are not the best ( iused to live your way). You will have to have counselling when you go to the hospital, so someone will talk to you. Good luck x

beansprout · 07/06/2004 17:31

Nikcola - I'm sorry this is so difficult for you, it's just a horrible situation to be in.
As far as the counselling goes, it may be worth asking, or at least contacting some or any of the organisations suggested on this thread.

When stuff happens for me I try to take the view that I'm not the first and that there are lots of people who understand and can offer the best help. In the absence of your ex dp and family you can really talk to, this really sounds like a good idea. I don't want to sound like I am pushing anything at you, just want you to be as ok as you can be.

Big hug to you.

Piffleoffagus · 07/06/2004 17:43

So sorry uou are going through all this honey pie...
The hospital will organise the councelling, it is usually a hlaf day appointment or a two hour appointment where you get a dating scan, health check (BP, etc) and then when it is confirmed that the baby is under 12 weeks then they send you to the doctor who explains the process and whether you are up to it, he also by law has to ask your reasons to legally perform a termination, yours will come under not coping, many do.
Then after you have been signed able by the doctor, you then get to see a counsellor who will help you with any issues you might have with the procedure or your emotional wellbeing.
It is actually a very supportive process, sadly mine was the result of a physical assault which made it a little different, but the process itself and the operation and aftercare was really good,
hopefully if you have had one before, you sort of know what to expect, sorry if I 'm repeating what you already know, try a telephone preg service like the BPAS for counselling in the meantime.
Good luck with everything xx

Nutcracker · 07/06/2004 17:54

Oh Nikcola, i'm so sorry to hear that you've got to wait soo long.
I can't believe you haven't been offered any councilling (well i can, i wasn't either )

Are you absolutly sure this is what you want to do ??? Even if you have the slightest doubt then you really need to think some more, and talk to a proffesional.

Am so sorry you are going through this, wish i could be of more help.

Original poster
nikcola · 07/06/2004 17:57

it is what i wnat to do but im going to sit down with dp tonite and talk to him about it i think ill have to go private i dont want to wait that long

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