Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

finding cramping at that point in pregnancy is normal, especially first pregnancies. It's everything settling in and there's a lot of blood flowing into that area.

finding I had the same, at 5-6 weeks. The cramping was so strong it actually woke me up in the middle of the night and made me feel quite nauseous and had to do some very deep breathing to get through it

Panicking, I emailed my Dr who said it was perfectly normal as the uterus is stretching and growing, and as long as there is no fresh red blood it shouldn't be a cause for concern

I did think, it's the size of a sesame seed, how much room does it need at this stage? What is it doing down there, renovations??!!

Just wanted to wish you all the best of luck. The thread sounds like a great idea. I was a nervous wreck when pg with dd after 3 years of trying, 3 mcs and fertility treatment. Fertility issues and mc really spoil the magic of pregnancy and it's s great idea to speak to others in the same boat. to you all x

I went to the doctors today to book a midwife appointment. I felt like a fraud because I don't feel pregnant. I had an awful few hours yesterday that my symptoms gone but I think they're back but they are so mild I could be imagining them. Is it normal to have few symptoms at 5 weeks?

sweetheart, I felt like that at times too last pregnancy and this. Symptoms tend to come and go. For a few weeks you'll feel fine, the next few you'll feel like you've been hit by a bus. But no symptoms shouldn't worry you too much, especially at 5 weeks.

Hi ladies!

I'm so thankful for this thread and for you all sharing your stories, I think I've googled everything to death over the last few years yet in this thread alone I've found the most reassurance and comfort. Good luck everyone!

Good morning ladies

I have a doctors appointment this morning to let them know I'm pregnant, what do they usually go over in these? Or do they just refer you to a midwife? I feel like a symptomless fraud! DH has booked a reassurance scan at eight weeks to stop me going off my rocker but I can't help but feel it's as if we've jinxed ourselves!

Hi Biscuits, I did the same in my last pregnancy but the GP appointment was a waste of time. She just said congratulations and gave me the midwife's phone number. It might depend on the area you live in: this time round I just rang the midwife as soon as I knew.

I also had a reassurance scan at about 10 weeks and it was money well spent: it seems to be common to feel like a fraud in the first half of your pregnancy! Symptoms come and go, and it's only when you feel movement that you feel like there's 'proof' that there's a baby in there!

I had a GP appt but I am considered high risk with epilepsy and a spinal injury so I had to see them to get my pregnancy logged with all my meds

She actually did my blood pressure, checked my urine, and did the referral form there with me, but as I say I'm high risk so got referred for consultant rather than midwife led care

I still find it odd that I just had to say 'I'm pregnant' and they're not interested in testing it and will trust a HPT to refer you on! (I had had 3 beta hCG blood tests by this point but still. You say you're pregnant, they just believe you're pregnant!!)

With my first pregnancy the GP gave me my maternity notes to start to fill in, which made my booking appointment with the midwife a bit shorter. This time I didn't bother going to see the GP, just made a booking appointment so that then took ages to fill in the notes.

Both times I've felt like a complete fraud until 20-24 weeks or so, when movements start to be properly obvious. We've had 7-week scans both times too - part of IVF with the first, and to try and make us believe it was real with this one (it worked for about two days).

Thank you everyone :) I had a feeling it would be a waste of time but both my consultants secretary and the receptionist at the GP were pushing for a GP appointment so I've just gone with the flow (for once!) midwifes don't see you until around week eight right? Or have I just pulled that out of thin air?

Glad to hear the early scans were worth it. I've geared myself up that if the worst happens at least I won't find out in an ante natal clinic full of happy families.

I think booking appointments tend to be 8-10 weeks approx, although mine is at 11+5, but that may be to do with being booked in to see a Dr rather than a midwife. Good luck! X

Hi, how's everyone going? 12 weeks tomorrow, feels like an important milestone. :)

HP, it is an important milestone! Many congratulations. Can't wait til I'm there! I'm five weeks today and freaking out daily about everything. Very much freaking out about the fact that a lot of people know due to us having told friends and colleagues we were having treatment- silly, I know. Hope everyone else is doing well today!

I feel the same Victoria. When I lost my first baby, I swore that I wouldn't tell anyone until the 12 week scan. However, I've told a few people that I've had ivf treatment including my boss. I'm only 5 weeks and my boss knows, her boss knows, many of my friends know and of course my sister. I'll feel so silly if anything goes wrong x

I suppose the way to look at it is that if it does, you'll have support as people will know. That's how I'm trying to think about it. I'm a heart-on-sleeve kind of gal anyway, and I think silence around topics like infertility and miscarriage are deeply unhelpful to those living through them. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying that this one is healthy. All my love. Xxx

I've been relatively open but that's because I welcomed the support whilst having treatment, and if I lose this baby then I think I will welcome the support too - rather than suffering with a silent grief.

I also firmly feel - and this is a personal thing and not passing judgement or comment on anyone else - that I wanted to be open about IVF as a bit of a mission to make it feel less like a dirty secret. I have since found out that so so so many friends I had no idea had experienced issues have had all range of infertility woes. And I felt much less alone. So I felt that if I could be open then maybe I'd be able to help someone else. And friends have confided in me that they were going through treatment - and I've had two friends cycling with me at the same time, and we've been able to support each other, yet we'd never have known otherwise.

If I lose this baby then I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of and I hope I won't feel silly, but hope I'll be able to turn to my friends for support

Quite a lot of friends/family/colleagues already know as I needed to tell work early on due to hazardous working conditions. I think that I would want the support anyway if things were to go wrong so wouldn't feel silly about having told people. This has been the longest, most scary and exciting 8 weeks of my life (since I found out) so far!

So take heart, dear sweetheart.

I've only told my side of the family. I'm six weeks tomorrow. We have a scan on the 22nd.

It feels as though it's years away.

Hello ladies can I join you?

I'm currently 16 + 2 weeks we were exceptionly lucky to conceive after our first cycle of IVF

I've also been struggling to move on from the infertility although I'm finding it easier the further along I get

I bought my first item for baby this week! A little white Peter rabbit babygro which I thought would be cute as a going home outfit; I almost didn't buy it as I had flashes of me crying over it if something goes wrong and I have to pack it away but I put on my brave face and bought it

This whole thing is such a roller coaster!

Hi everyone

Today I booked onto our local nct course, hoping I'm lucky and have a good group as otherwise I'll be a bit gutted about the £200 spend if I don't make any friends.
Is it just me who still finds pregnancy announcements on FB make them so angry? A work colleague is now updating us with her sickness and tiredness on FB daily which is going to be very tiresome considering she isn't very far along yet.

Urgh. I hate if, Vap! I'm not going to put anything about my pregnancy on there at all. If it made anyone else feel the way I did I would be mortified. Not even sure we'll be announcing the birth that way either. I have a friend who hasn't put any of that stuff on FB at all, no pictures either!

Hi Fuzzy! Congrats and welcome! It sounds like a lovely first outfit for your little one we can all relate on here to your nerves though x

I Definately agree with you about Facebook! Don't think I'll ever be able to or want to bring myself to post anything online, especially pregnancy rants!

Has anyone else been given Emma's sodding diary by their dr? I actually don't think it's possible for my eyes to roll back any further in my head than they did when I read my copy yesterday! Maybe I'm just hugely cynical though!