Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

Thanks blueroses.

Had some more bad news today - I tested positive to being a carrier of cystic fibrosis. So now DH has to do the test and if he's also a carrier then our child has a 1 in 4 chance of having it.

Am just so down in the dumps about ALWAYS being on the wrong side of the odds. I have PCOS. And anovulatory PCOS. And PCOS that is resistant to Clomid (which works for 80% of women). And I had low progesterone in first tri. And hyperemesis. And the placenta has implanted over the cervix (apparently only happens in 5% of pregnancies). My PAPP A was on the first percentile. And now I'm a cystic fibrosis carrier - 1 in 25 people are. So that's 4%.

When do I just get to be normal? It's really depressing. I feel like I'm just heading towards some catastrophic tragic ending to this pregnancy that only happens to 0.5% of people. But of course it will happen to me.

Sorry for the whinge, am just really down today. All the excitement of the pregnancy has drained away and I just feel anxious and depressed.

Stealth I am so sorry. It can feel relentless. When will your DH be tested? What are the chances he will be a carrier too? Surely it will be small? Really hope you get some good news.

I am feeling very similar to you. We have just found out that AGAIN my HCG are rising slowly. This is how my last pregnancy started and it ended in miscarriage two weeks later, so I am expecting the worst. After three miscarriages, I hoped this pregnancy may be the lucky one for us. But it now looks unlikely.

I am so very depressed, angry and f*cked off with a world that never seems to give us any luck or a break. Why does this keep happening to us? I am so worn down my the pain and grief of three miscarriages on the trot, and I have decided that if this one doesn't work out, I'm going to call it a day. My DH is desperate to keep trying but I am done. I can't handle it anymore.

Sorry for the moan. Life is just so very unfair.

xx

I'm so sorry to hear that kate. It just relentless. That's exactly the right word. Keeping everything crossed that your little one hangs in there

DH risk of being a carrier is 1 in 25. Before all this I would have said "great! The odds are so low". Now I just think that with my luck he'll be in that 4%. MOAN.

Hope everyone else is having more cheerful Fridays! X

kate it relentless. That's exactly the right word. I'm so so sorry to hear you're having the same hcg issues. I will keep everything crossed that your little one hangs in there

DH odds for being a cf carrier are 1 in 25. That's 4%. Before all the jnfertility I would have said "great! Low odds" but now I jut feel like of COURSE we'll be in that rare situation where both of us have it. MOAN.

Hope everyone else is having more cheerful fridays! X

Ah thought I'd lost a message and typed it again. Bloody MN!

Hi Stealth, I'm so sorry for the new test results. It is so shit. It just seems like mountain after mountain for you to climb.
Does the PGS testing test for CF? Please try and hold on that stealthini has been strong from the start. But I know how worrying and anxious all this is.

Kate, what were your hcg results? The shit never ends does it.

Kate not sure if you have answered before but have you had all the tests? For example progesterone?

Hi Vixx ... no It doesn't...

They were 49 on Tues and then 79 on Thurs. They are just about in range - they are supposed to double every 48-72 hours and mine are doubling every 69 hours. This is what happened last time - they continued to rise at that level for about 10 days and then went down..

They want me to do a 3rd test tomorrow but we have decided it is causing more pain and anxiety than it is worth. If it is going to miscarry, it will miscarry whether I know what is happening with my HCG or not.

And yes Vixx I have had all the tests and there is nothing wrong. I think it is my age that is the problem and it's just too late for us.

And thanks Stealth for your kindness. I'll cross everything for you that you are the lucky ones. I am sure you will be.

xx

Oh Kate and stealth sorry you are both going through such a worrying time. Life feels so unfair sometimes. Know you are both much loved, even by strangers on the internet. Xxxx

I'm really sorry to hear this new Stealth and Kate. Just as we were having some grace from all the sadness and difficulties. I really hope that your Hcg starts to rise Kate and that your husband is not a carrier Stealth. Life is very unfair sometimes. Wishing you all the best and hoping for some good news soon. X

Thank-you you gorgeous women for your kind words of hope and support. It is a huge comfort to be able to offload to people who know how frightening this is at times.

I feel SO tired and knackered today so I am having a Netflix day. My boyfriend has stocked up the fridge with loads of lovely fresh fruit and veg, so I am going to just relax today and try not to worry about what is going on in my bloody uterus. Surely tiredness is a good thing. I'll do something productive tomorrow!

Hope everyone else are having nice days.

xx

Definitely tiredness sounds good - take it easy today and let your do spoil you.

*DP

Had our 2nd scan on friday after last wks 7wk scan when they were unsure if i was carrying twins!!
Yesterdays scan showed just one wee bubba cooking in there!! Slight releif as i have back problems ao wasnt sure how i would cope carrying two- but we had kinda become used to the idea of possibly two lol!!

Thanks Boris - fingers crossed. I have slept most of this afternoon and feel quite peculiar so I am hoping this is my HCG kicking in and I'll get a massive boost in levels at my next test... I can hope.

Congrats Smurfy must be lovely to see him or her.

xx

8+5 today- and feeling quite crampy- any advice??

Smurfy I had the same at the same time - it passed. I doubled up and screamed on the kitchen floor one day. If it doesn't calm down in a wel or so or feels serious and / or if you get any spotting speak to your midwife / doctors asap.

Thanks boris- just back from docs, he has advised i take a couplenof days off work and rest, i am a self employed childminder so relly cant afford it- but want to do whats best

How is everyone getting on? X

I had my 20wk scan today! All the vital organs etc could be seen and measure within normal ranges, so very relieved. We did want to find out the gender but the sonographer was only 80% sure - reckons it's a boy! I have had 'boy' vibes all along but had dreams that it's a girl, so feeling confused. 80% sure doesn't feel like much better than 50%! Placenta is on the left side and doesn't cover cervix, and the small fibroids I have haven't grown and aren't getting in the way. They also said that we have no more scans. This was my 6th scan in 20wks so I'm not sure how I feel about not seeing the baby for another 20ish! DH suggested a private scan in a few weeks just to make sure everything is OK (and finding out gender would be a bonus!).

Smurfy hope the rest is helping relieve the cramps. For leg and feet cramps, bananas are a miracle cure. They don't help much wth belly cramps though, just rest and keep still.

Hi HP, all okay here. Had a scan yesterday and they confirmed everything was in the right place and the heartbeat was there. I'm only 5 weeks and 5 days though so hoping all proceeds as it should. So nerve wrecking!

Smurfy I had belly cramps until 9-10 weeks - felt like period cramps - they just cleared up one day. I'm afraid I have no advice on how to help though -but there is an end in sight!

Blue how lovely to have had your scan. mine is in 2 weeks - im bricking it but excited as well. Last time they couldnt get all measurements and checks done as baby wouldn't play ball. So I am hoping everything is ok!

Tilly - fingers crossed everything continues to go well. its good news everything is looking so well on scan :-)

Has anyone felt movements yet? Im 18+6 and I thought I might have felt some movements around 4 am this morning when I couldn't sleep but I am not sure if it was wishful thinking or gas haha

We are coming to the end of this thread - does anyone want to start a new one?

Thanks folks, i have my first midwife appointment on thursday. I came to a compromise with my hubby and have cancelled under 5's and only havin school kids in- they are pretty self sufficient! We are on school hols up here so today has been a nice quiet dvd day!

I'm 22 weeks today and still sometimes think this is a dream or I've even forgotten I'm pregnant - not sure how I can forget with a big bump but it has happened!

I survived Glastonbury and am so glad I went even with the mud! Bump started to move when loud music was playing so not sure he'll have the best taste in music when he's older. Nothing when listening to Adele or Coldplay, it was all about the DJ's and the base.

Hope everyone else is well. Xxx