Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

I'm so so sorry banana I have no idea why life dies these things. So cruel. Sending you lots of love x x x

banana I'm so very, very sorry x x x

Banana, I'm sorry. I've been through the same thing, I had an IVF pregnancy loss in the summer at 11 weeks after seeing a heartbeat and everything. It is so shit - just so very unfair and difficult. How are you doing now?

Is there anyone around who would like to continue this thread - or start a new one? I think that pregnancy after infertility is a very strange place to be - I feel like some kind of imposter who is just waiting to be found out, or that someone will come along to tell me that all this is a big practical joke at my expense and I'm not actually pregnant. I don't think 'normal' people really understand that feeling but you people might.

Banana if you'd rather I buggered off and started my own thread please say so and I won't be offended.

I would also like to continue with this thread as I found it very helpful but understand if you find it too difficult bananafish. Thinking of you.

Oh dear I didnt get to the last page - Im so sorry. I cant see how to delete my post!

Birchy! Long time no speak! Congratulations xxx

I have just PMd Banana and she is keen for the thread to continue! The militant barrens need to live on and provide some hope for those still waiting!

I think pregnancy after infertility is such a bizarre experience and nobody understands it unless they've been there.

Birchy - I am over the moon for you! Congratulations lovely. I really hope things go well x

Science and Flat its so lovely to be on this thread with you both. Congratulations to you two as well. As I am sure all of us are, I am quite anxious. I have an appointment with midwife on Friday but I think they will end up annoyed with me as Im too early to do anything yet.
How have things been going for you both? When did you get your BFP's?

How is everyone getting on? I have had 2 bleeds in the past week but both times the midwife has found the heartbeat on the doppler and reassured me that these things can sometimes happen for no reason at all. I have a history of cervical erosion so it possible it's my cervix bleeding. I am now 15 weeks and getting rounder by the day. Can't wait to feel the baby moving.

Birchy - I completely understand why you're so nervous. I was and still am! Those early weeks are hard as well, as you can't just throw money at a private scan to check everything is ok!

How are you feeling about it all? I found I haven't got properly excited yet as I just don't dare.

I got my BFP in February (I even hate saying that, because it's just so blasé!) and am 11 weeks today (assuming things are still ok). I'm still terrified! Do you know how far gone you are?

I really do hope this works out for you. You so deserve it (as does everyone else on this thread!) x

HP - That's so exciting! Hopefully you'll feel some kicks in a few weeks x

Flat I got my positive yesterday - I think I am only about 4-5 weeks. Dates are a little difficult as I had some bleeding after my lap and dye which then lead straight into af. I am away for a little holiday when I will be around 10 weeks by guess dates so receptionist just said sure come see midwife on Friday ... I was not going to refuse it!

Hi HP - will be so amazing to feel kicks! Glad to hear everything is going well and bleeding is nothing to be concerned about

birchy hi! Fantastic to see you on here!! Wonderful news on your bfp! Hi everyone else, hope everyone is ok, really sad news about banana, I hope she is back here really soon with us all. We had a scan today at 17+1 and have found out we are having a girl. It's finally starting to feel real....
Exciting times!

More pink/red spotting this morning. Feeling stressed. :(

HP sorry to hear that, will you go back to the mw again? Or at least give them a call. I understand the stress, hope all is ok.

Yes. I have to go in this morning for my 3rd anti d injection so far. They will also listen in for the heartbeat again. It's going to be a long pregnancy if this keeps happening. I don't know why I would expect a straightforward one after the trouble it's been to conceive anyway!

Ladies, I'm not currently pregnant but wanted to say I so wish I'd found somewhere like this when I WAS pregnant. After trying for so long we got lucky on our second round of IVF. That baby is now 12. Then I had a further 3 rounds and a frozen embryo transfer without success, in the meantime I had got pregnant naturally but had a MMC with that. Finally, we booked in with Taranissi for a final try (I was 43). The day of my Day 1 blood tests I did a test and found I was pregnant. That baby is now 8 and I had her two days before my 44th birthday. A little miracle.

So good luck to you all, it can go well and I send all my positive vibes your way, I know how special this time is.

11 weeks pregnant today, after various fertility treatments over four years, donor egg pregnancy. My last pregnancy (nearly two years ago) ended in a late (31 weeks) termination for medical reasons (a rare severe genetic syndrome that took a long time to diagnose properly during the pregnancy).

12 week scan is in 12 days time and I am ridiculously nervous. The 12 week scan was where it all first started to go wrong - very high nuchal measurement - and I feel my heart rate rising just thinking about going back into that waiting room. We spent so long there last time, being ushered into quiet rooms, seeing all these lovely happy couples with good news. I have semi convinced myself that I've had a missed miscarriage - for no particular reason (we saw a good heartbeat at 6w5d) - or that it's going to be a different genetic syndrome or some other problem.

Half tempted to pay for an earlier private scan but that feels like letting the crazy take over...

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Hi ladies, mind is I join you, even just to listen? I am 34 and pregnant with my second daughter, 26 weeks now. With my first we went through five long years of IVF and clomid rounds. I found pregnancy almost as difficult as trying to get pregnant. Constantly worrying that something was going to go wrong, I found not myself a lot of the time not really wanting to believe it and found things incredibly lonely. Those first few days post birth are amazing and to be honest for a long time I completely forgot about all those years trying. Well.. until we were trying again. Its a odd place to have a child and then find out the trying again isn't coming any easier. I wish the consultant never made the comment that "just because you had fertility issues the first time doesnt mean you will again", I am sure in many peoples case its piece of mind but in mind I just felt so disappointed. I started clomid when my daughter weaned at 8 months, found it hard than took a break, tried again when she was a year, again more failed results. All the while saving for IVF but honestly saving thousands when you have a toddler doesn't come easy, especially with childcare.

Sorry this sounds like more of a whinge than a hello. Anyway! Back in october we started clomid again and found out very shortly after I was pregnant. I am now a pump 26 weeks and slowly re-baby proofing the house.

Hi everyone, been in to see the midwife again and everything seems to be fine with baby. Just a very worrying time when I keep bleeding. I have to have an anti d injection everytime. Going away for the weekend and nervous it might happen then. It's a hen weekend so it will be quite disruptive if I have to toddle off to the local hospital.
Hi to all the new comers. It's so interesting to hear all your stories but sad at the same time to now that there are so many ladies that have and are still struggling to conceive.

Hp07 glad to hear everything is well. So is it when you see blood you are to have the anti D injection? Can I ask what this is for? Whatever it is I'm glad it's working!

Vap0 it's soooo lovely to see your scan pic! A wee girl! Now you will have to start thinking of names.

Hi to everyone new (I'm a newbie as well) it's lovely to hear your stories, thank you for sharing.

I'm still cramping today. I had to take 1 paracetamol which I was not happy with but I was in quite a bit of pain. I also hate going to wee as I'm terrified of discovering blood, especially with the cramps.

No sickness. Did anyone else have sickness in early days? When did it start. As I'm feeling quite lucky but maybe I'm just to early yet

HP07 Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I have also had some spotting and am also rhesus negative, although I didn't find out until I got a letter through a couple of weeks ago, as my first set of bloods had to be re-done due to an insufficient sample.

Anyway, I'm 16+4 today. I'd had spotting before I found out that it was a risk with my blood type, so couldn't do anything about it, but last Saturday I had a tiny bit more (literally a couple of drops) but I have a feeling that it was from wiping. I was on antibiotics for a gum infection last week, and I think it caused a bit of thrush down there, which made me very sore and sensitive and I think the blood was from there, so I didn't contact the midwife. Do you think I should have done? I've had no more since, and it was the teeniest, tiny bit. How much did you have? It is the latest in a long series of worries with me, including a chicken pox scare (had to have a test to see if I'm immune as a colleague got it. Thankfully I am!), also the gum infection, which thankfully seems to have cleared up now, plus at least 3 different occasions of spotting, albeit tiny amounts.

Sorry for the me, me, me post, I'm about to rush out with the dogs in the hope that there will be no more hailstorms today! x x

Hailstorms? You are obviously not on the sunny south coast. The anti d has to be given within 72 hrs of a bleed so I would think you are past the cut off now anyway but if you think it was blood from your vulva/vaginal lips (sorry tmi) then that shouldn't be a problem. It's only if it came from higher up ie possible from the uterus where it could mix with the placental blood that it would be an issue. Luckily for me I knew my blood type before I got pregnant as I'm a blood donor and know of the risks as most of my family are rhesus negative. I shouldn't panic about it Eskimo, just call your midwife if you have any further bleed.s in the pregnancy.

Birchy - I think you are too early to worry about such things. It is only after 12 weeks when the placenta is formed and feeding baby that you would have to worry and only if you have a negative blood type. You should have your blood type tested at your booking in appointment. Anti d injections will not stop a bleed they just prevent your body from forming antibodies against the babies blood if it is a positive blood type and you are negative. The midwife told me today that only 15-20 % of the population are negative blood type and I guess half of those are men. So only about 10% of women have to worry about anti d and of those very few spot after the first trimester, I'm just special.....or more likely unlucky! My sister had the same issues and had a huge bleed with one of her girls but they are both happy and healthy. The thing that puts my mind at rest is hearing the woosh of babies heartbeat on the Doppler when I visit the midwife and all seems well today, so baby and my body is just scaring me for no good reason.

Take care all

Hi ladies, just popping in to say thank you so much for your lovely messages and I'm so very very glad the thread will carry on. Pregnancy after infertility can feel quite lonely - neither quite still in infertility world but also feel you don't quite fit in with the normal preggos either.

So I very very much hope you lovely ladies will take over the mantle, and that one day I shall hopefully be rejoining you

Much love xxx