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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant at forty and over - thread 2

999 replies

cloudjumper · 12/11/2015 13:21

To continue the support for those of us who are pregnant at forty and over.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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17
Rugby01 · 25/05/2016 17:50

Hello everyone. Welcome helenatroy - congratulations and very happy to hear your news. allergic - sorry you are feeling so rough. How are you coping being pregnant and already having one to look after?

I had my scan today and all seems ok and very excited to actually see a little person in there!!!

shabbychic1 · 25/05/2016 20:26

Hi helen, Dorset and allergicto welcome! I hope things are going well, fingers crossed for all your situations. This is a lovely supportive threadGrin.
Allergic I believe 'Wellness Mama' (natural blog online) has/ manages Hashemotos, and 5 or 6 kids, I don't know if she has any ideas on her blog to help?

allergictodiets · 26/05/2016 09:18

Oh the tiredness.. I had some atrocious weeks, falling asleep at 9 pm on the sofa and not getting anything done. With me the culprit is more my thyroid than my pregnancy though - since the last meds adjustment I have been feeling "normal" again. I hope it lasts.

Sheera41 · 26/05/2016 09:41

Hi to anyone new on here. I'm 41 this is my third DS ( two others 9 and 7 ) 16 weeks tomorrow! First midwife appt at the docs today! Starting to feel pretty good and positive! Smile

Sheera41 · 26/05/2016 09:45

Oh apart from being obsessed with the Zika virus! Go on holiday to Portugal in less than 4 weeks, been advised its ok but to prevent being bitten by covering up and wearing repellent during the day! It's going to be such fun......not! If I had any idea I was going to be 19/20 weeks pregnant at the time of travel, I absolutely would not have booked it!

MrEBear · 26/05/2016 09:58

Is the zika virus even in Portugal?

I checked it out for California, all reported cases have been caught outside the state. The mozzies spread it by biting an already infected person then infecting the subsequent people they bite.

NurseMellie · 26/05/2016 10:29

Hi. I'm Mel. 45 and 6 weeks pregnant. Was a shock as thought I was going through the menopause as periods all over the place!
Anyway. 3rd baby. My 2 kids are 18 and 16.
But anxious about it all and just constant worrying that something will go wrong.
Any tips gratefully recieved xx

Sheera41 · 26/05/2016 12:24

The particular mossie is in Madeira, which is close to Portugal. There have been 5 cases in Portugal, but from people returning from Brazil, hopefully they were all quarantined but who knows! There's always something to worry about isn't there?

Sheera41 · 26/05/2016 12:24

Welcome Mel X

MrEBear · 26/05/2016 13:27

5 people but the odds of a mozzie biting one of them & passing it on to you has to be quite remote.

Rugby01 · 26/05/2016 20:23

mel- welcome! No tips I'm afraid as I'm a first timer!! I am worried about most things everyday!

shabbychic1 · 26/05/2016 20:56

Welcome all newbies!

I'm sure the Zika risk is low- but is there any chance of cancelling if you're worried? I do worry all the time about so much and I don't know if I'd go to Southern Europe at the moment. Maybe look at your insurance to see if you can? DH is going to Italy mid june- he's worrying about getting Zika then passing it to me- it can be sexually transmitted. I told him he'd better not get bitten or else!!!

I've just bought flight socks (rec. by midwife) for flight to Denmark in Sunday! Been told I need to drink lots of water in flight and move a lot. I'm worried about being desperate for the loo during the 'seatbelt sign'!! I'm 24 weeks tomorrow and my bladder is awful! I seem to need the loo every hours or so! And I'm desperate! Shock

Rugby01 · 27/05/2016 03:33

Hi all. Zika sounds like it would worry me too - however tiny the risk. I hope you find a way to ease the anxiety, sheera.

I am on a school trip (I'm a teacher) to Germany in July and also worried about not being able to keep up/cope with that as I'll be about 20 weeks then. But maybe magic of the second trimester will finally be here!!

Has anyone got advice about how to tell work? I'm dreading telling work at the moment for fear they will give me tasks I don't want and effectively demote me before I go on leave. Anyone else manage to avoid that?

Rugby01 · 27/05/2016 03:34

shabby - ha I completely understand about the fear during the seatbelt sign!!

shabbychic1 · 27/05/2016 08:37

rugby i'm in education too and don't worry They'll be completely used to teachers telling them they're pregnant! They're not allowed to demote you or will change your jobs because you're pregnant without a very Good reason and they know that - they're very good at keeping to equality laws so I wouldn't worry. If anything does happen speak to the union and they'll sort it out.Good luck! I hope you're feeling okay for Germany, I'll be coming up to 25 weeks when I go to Denmark next week and we do a lot of walking so I hope I'll be able to keep up with dh too. SmileFlowers

Marquand · 27/05/2016 10:25

Hello everyone.

Can I please have a bit of a pity party? I'll be 30 weeks this weekend. 43, with DD 6 and DS 3.

I've had a rough month behind me - it's early winter, and all four of us have been sick sick sick. DD had to be on antibiotics twice for an ear infection, and DS had croup. He still has yellow rivers of snot, but is happy. I was sick from the start, but didn't go to the dr. When I finally went, I had bronchitis, sinus, and a very nasty post nasal drip. Eventually I had to take 10 days off work. Dr gave me antibiotics which made me even more sick, and it seems to have triggered vomiting that is still going on. It has reduced somewhat, hopefully because I'm not coughing so much. (In my first pregnancy I vomited for 9 months solid).

I got back to work on Monday with to lots to do - starting my return to work with a two day intensive strategy session, and the follow-up from that. There are still about 100 unread emails in my inbox. And I'm just too tired to be bothered. (Normally I'm Ms Proactive). And the most brilliant shining star in the department will be retiring on Tuesday. (He started at the company BEFORE I WAS BORN!!!).

This whole year has been super exhausting. While I wasn't vomiting up a storm, I've been feeling nauseous enough to shed quite a number of kilos - I'm now about 8kg less than when I fell pregnant. This is actually brilliant for me (still overweight...), the baby is doing well, etc, but hasn't worked wonders for my energy levels.

I got a new boss in February, which has made work more stressful. At the end of February we moved house, which is IMHO one of the most horrid things in the word. In April my DP was hijacked - fortunately he was unhurt, but it still has created a lot of stress and hassle. (The car was recovered, but it is an administrative nightmare - we still have to submit paperwork for one more police clearance.)

And as I was waiting for my 24 week appointment, I was fiddling on fb, and discovered messages from DP's alcoholic boss alleging an affair (they were in some separate mailbox because of privacy settings). He first denied it, but finally admitted it. She went all crazy and bombarded me with texts. I eventually got a restraining order against her. DP is deeply regretful. However, a betrayal like that is profoundly hurtful, and really, the timing couldn't have been worse (not that there is ever good timing for something like that). We are dealing with it as well as we can, but it is bloody awful.

I am beyond tired, mostly emotionally, but - given pregnancy and having been sick as a dog - physically too. I have two months of work left, and have no idea where I'm going to get the energy from to pull it off. I absolutely adore my kids, but once the first shift at work is done, it is the second shift at home, and especially the 3 year old is very demanding at the moment.

Sorry for whining, but I really feel drained and miserable. And not particularly inspired to jump in and be productive.

Rugby01 · 27/05/2016 19:14

Thanks shabby - that's reassuring. I just have nightmares of my September timetable being completely changed once they know. Going to plan my moment well over half term!

marquand - sorry to hear you've had such a rough ride recently. You certainly have my admiration with working and having two children AND being pregnant with a third! Hope things start to feel more manageable soon Flowers

MrEBear · 30/05/2016 22:55

How is everyone doing? I'm just plodding along.

Random question how did people react to you pregnancy announcement?

Whatabanana · 30/05/2016 23:03

I am only 7.4 so have only told two friends- both reactions were pretty much OMG. I feel weird not telling my mum/siblings but it still feels imaginary, so will wait until the scan. I have had a pretty dodgy tummy lately, running to the loo all the time. other than going off various things (eg coffee) not much else to show for it.

Nicky333 · 31/05/2016 04:30

I've not posted for a while but I had my little girl on Saturday morning. She's currently catching flies on me whilst I watch Desperate Housewives. She's gorgeous and perfect.

I had to have an emergency section, as her heartbeat was dropping with every contraction and it turned out the cord was wrapped around her neck twice, tightly. So the fact that I had to be induced due to my age (41) was what saved her, as if I hadn't been induced, I wouldn't have had the monitor on and they wouldn't have noticed her heart rate dropping.

MrEBear · 31/05/2016 07:39

Whata I'm thinking about telling my mum / sister this weekend only because ive my cousins hen do the following weekend and scared someone will guess.
Don't want to tell DHs family until after 12 week scan or possibly longer.

Nicky congratulations the next 12 mths will fly.

Marquand · 31/05/2016 10:34

Nicky333 Congratulations!

Wow, what a scary story! I'm glad all turned out well, and that you have a healthy baby.

shabbychic1 · 31/05/2016 19:40

Nicky congratulations, how wonderful! And all ended well- how fortunate you had the monitor on! Flowers

mrsebear I told parents/ brother / outlaws and best friends about 7 weeks - all thrilled. Then work and others after the 12 weeks scan. Everyone really happy and congratulatory. They knew we'd been trying for a while so think they were all so pleased for us. No one mentioned the age thing apart from one (unhinged?) colleague who pointed out all the risks of being 40- including telling me I'd probably have a miscarriage in the first trimester due to my age! I also know she'd made statements I the office about why I 'hadn't just got pregnant in my early 30s like she had if I wanted a baby so badly'. She knew at that age I hadn't even met my DH! I (probably a bit meanly, but 'calmly/ kindly?'Blush) pointed out that being in our 40s meant I could afford to take more than twice the mat leave a younger person might be able to (her) and not have to return full time (her) and that was a big bonus for being an older mum in my eyes. God, that was so mean. Wish I hadn't but I was so shocked at her comment!

shabbychic1 · 31/05/2016 21:15

And I know that I'm lucky to be in that situation and have friends my age who have/are having babies who aren't in the same situation who have to/ want to go back ft earlier and I would NEVER say any of that to them- I think my colleague just shocked me and I nastily lashed out. Blush

dats · 01/06/2016 00:18

Nicky massive congrats!

shabby totally chuffing justified, how RUDE of her!!!

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