Pregnant at forty and over - thread 2

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for those of us who are pregnant at forty and over.

Oh my goodness Melinda, what a shock! You queue-jumper!
Congratulations on her safe arrival and I'm glad she is doing well. How are you holding up? It must be quiet an adjustment. We are all here for you if you need to talk!

Kafe that's great news about the 'fit-note'.

how is everyone else doing? I have nothing to report, just getting a little bit bored now.

OMG pregnant at 40! about 4 weeks along ...don't really know, waiting for dating scan on 29 March. Sooo unbelievable. Hope this little one stays on board...miscarriage last year. Glad I am pretty fit but will continue at the gym etc every day as usual if I can.

Congratulations Sodachick! It's great isn't it?

Just had my combined scan/bloods come back at low risk for Downs- 1:200 so I'm relieved. At 40 the 'norm' says 1:100 so feeling good about it.

oh thats really good Kafee!!! wow so happy fro you. I have all that to do still. My main focus will be hoping I safely get through the first 6 weeks...of all goes well by March 31st I will be having a small celebration...dinner out with my husband...

Hi all, how's everyone doing? I saw the consultant yesterday and we have set a day for induction . . . in 2 weeks time! I'll be 38 +5. Has anyone else had any experience of induction?

Welcome sodachick and congratulations

thank you and good luck for your induction!! :) I have wrist surgery today so quite unsettled about it all...will be one armed for a few weeks with lots of little kids at home, no driving allowed etc but trying to remain postitive

Afternoon all - just checking in. All well here at 24 weeks. Lots of movement and getting bigger by the day it feels like!

Congratulations NotFrom - Alfie's gorgeous! Hope his teeth aren't giving you too many problems!?

Welcome Kafee and Soda and congratulations to you both! Soda - feel for you with the angst of previous MC - makes the waiting seem extra long I reckon. Still, the 29th is less than a week away now with plenty of chocolate for distraction in the meantime.

Anyone heard from Ellie? She was having a rescan last week? Thinking of you Ellie

Handed in my Mat b1 form this week which feels like a milestone. Planned last day in the office is June 22nd with my due date of 14th July. Does that sound too close do you think, given that they don't want me to go overdue so would most likely induce? I work from home 3 days a week but go into the office 2 days (2 hours away) and stay over with my sister for the night...so my last 2 days would be the 2 in the office with the overnight stay. Seemed like a good idea at the time but now I'm wondering if I'm mad?

Hello - sorry this is a bit brief but waving from hospital room in isolation

Am nearly 34w and woke up yesterday feeling a bit rough and chesty with a sore cough. Saw GP and MW and was sent to hosp for observation and then got admitted. being tested/treated for pulmonary embolism although it's unlikely. More likely to be a virus but my HR is v high and I don't feel great.

So am in my own room on postnatal ward, and have limited contact with anyone due to infection control (not allowed to leave room unless being wheeled to other dept with mask on my face). Having regular anti-clotting injections, Tamiflu, paracetamol, and have a lovely cannula in hand so they can inject dye in for scans - bleurgh.

Hoping to leave tomorrow but will see. Baby fine. DP and DD(3) on way in to keep me company for eve.

Waves slightly feebly - hope everyone ok and sorry for self-pitying post!

Brooke why so early for induction? Is it your hosp's policy or are there specific risks to you?

There's a load of data out today on the very wide difference in maternity care/outcomes between health authorities - incredible differences between areas!

Hello everyone,

Thank you for all your best wishes. Happy to announce all is well here at 24 weeks. Now they have relaxed my scans from weekly to two weekly :) phew!! Still on modified bed rest but now i can cope with it x

Greatergood thanks for checking on me. So good to hear you're doing well too. Its amazing those kicks! So reassuring!!

Brook amazing you are nearly there! Wow!! Wish you all the best with everything. Will be looking fwd to ur BA in 2 weeks!

Notfrom massive congratulations! (((Hugs))) Alfie is so gorgeous! Hope they have taken out his natal teeth and breast feeding is going well for you xx

Eagle ray sorry to hear you are in Hospital. Glad to hear they are taking all necessary precautions for you and baby is doing well. Hope you recover well soon x

City how are you? You must be approaching 36 weeks too?? Hope all well.

Love and best wishes to all.

Ellie xxx

ellie I'm so delighted that things are going well. Brilliant news! 24 weeks was when I started to feel more confident. I'm so pleased for you after all you've been through.

eagle I didn't realise 38 + 5 was early! I think it's the done thing at my hospital to induce around 39 weeks when you're over 40. My consultant said it could take more than 2 days (!) so I think she wants me to be under that timeframe. Although baby might come by himself before then - I'm 37 weeks tomorrow! Sorry you're in hospital - I hope you're feeling better

greater those dates are little tight, but doable I think. I have just finished work and now that I have my induction date, I realise I only have two weeks to do all the prep I want to do, but already I'm feeling I'm not going to get enough relaxation time to myself. Mind you, you will have three weeks - just make sure you take as much time as you can for yourself. It seems to be a time when everybody wants to check in and it can all feel a bit too much.

Brooke I asked the MW who is looking after me today what gestation their over 40 induction policy applies to here and she said its at term, ie 40w. I think with my first, my induction date was just before the 40w mark.

Every hospital is different and some have no policy at all. If you are happy with the date you've been given then that's fine, but it seems that if you wanted to delay by a week even, you would still be well under the 40w mark.

I know what drives my own hospital's induction over 40 policy but it's not information that doctors seem willing to share with me (luckily some of the MWs here are more honest)

And funnily enough, my ELCS is booked just a few days short of 40w because anything earlier is 'too early' for a baby to come out or they're hoping I'll have pushed it out by myself by then

In other news, am currently awaiting discharge as blood clot/ lung tests are all clear - hooray! Meanwhile am still in isolation, which is weird and slightly boring as not allowed to leave my room at all and I hate ringing the buzzer

eagle, how scary! Thank goodness you have been given the all clear! Ring that buzzer and get yourself home love!

brooke our hospital likes to whip them out of you before 39 weeks too (I was told policy is 38-39 'depending'- on what, who knows- but of course, they cannot force you). I am still undecided- got a growth scan in 2 weeks (when I'll be nearly 37 weeks) and we'll see what that brings. If the baby is still breech then it will a section anyway, and I am less bothered about doing that at 39 weeks, but I'd rather avoid induction unless the baby is even more monstrously huge than they are suggesting he might be.

3 weeks left of work for me, I've got so much to do, the end isn't even remotely in sight yet! Luckily I'm still feeling good and pretty bouncy and fit, although I cry at the absolute drop of a hat over absolute nonsense. DP is doing a great job of tiptoeing around me and keeping me topped up with icecream

ellie I'm so pleased that your worries about the funnelling came to nothing and I am hoping and wishing for a peaceful few weeks for you- that 3rd tri is just in touching distance!

greater I'll have about two and a half weeks after finishing work (more like ten days if I deliver at 39 weeks. Ether way, I've decided that's plenty of time for me, because I'll fret so I'm actually better off in work. Having said that, as I sit here at my desk with 3 weeks to go, I am very mindful that each good day is a bonus and if anything changes, I'm outta here!

Soda I'm 15 weeks tomorrow, still super excited. Tried for a year and at 40 it's my first so I'm on a cloud! Hope you're doing well. Eagle glad you're in the mend.

Congratulations everyone, sounds like lots happening!

Is anyone worried about consultants wanting to induce earlier than full term due to age and or BMi? It's a worry I have. Has anyone been through it?

One positive thing about teaching (rather than OFSTED stress lol!) and being due in September is I'll have quite a while at home before I'm due. Planning to do/buy/sort everything then including (hopefully) making homemade nappy lotions, washes, wipe lotions etc. Got my recipes Ready! Hope it all goes to plan and I won't want to just veg on the sofa as I am doing now watching 'one born' lol!

Just want to say this board is really nice, glad to be a part of it! X

Hello - back home now! There was a twist to my 'all clear' though... Was getting ready to leave the hospital and someone went off to check the throat swab I'd had done on admission 2 days earlier. Swine flu...

They discharged me anyway and I'm at home in bed with Tamiflu and paracetamol. Seem to have got off relatively lightly but am taking no chances and need to go back asap if my health deteriorates. Would love to say that it's nice not having to ring the buzzer if I want a cup of tea but half the house is currently derelict due to building work and we don't have a kitchen.

Ellie glad you are hanging on in there - you have come so far!

Kafe induction policy will depend a lot on your hospital (and possibly the consultant you see). I doubt BMI will make any difference but age could well. Just bear in mind that there isn't a national policy/guideline on it and you are well within your rights to decline any suggestions. I've already given birth in my 40's, in a hospital that recommended induction at term (ie 40 weeks). I declined, although that in itself wasn't easy to do. This time I'm having an ELCS, which has simplified things somewhat!

hi, typing one handed after wrist surgery on my right hand so yeah....will look like a child wrote this

thats great news kafee!!!

i have mw on tues 29th to get referral for dating scan.
all bfp tests coming up faster and so they shows hcg increase

following everyones elses news too but not going to able to type much for a few weeks

surgeon and their team were so lovely but unfortunately only panadol for pain relief but its not too bad

getting a bit nauseous now at times and bloated
will resume exercise today...light workout for lower half

tired and sore but happy
hope baby stays on board as despite all efforts i am emotionally attached and so is hubby

Thanks Eagle, I'll ask about my hospital's policy and have a good discussion with consultant next time I see him. I'd love to go full term and into natural labour but I also hear that increases the risk so would feel so guilty if something happened. Trying not to allow a lot of guilt to come into this pregnancy (there's enough in Google- 40/ BMi/ etc.) but sometimes...

Soda, that's great news re bfp's! I did one everyday for about 11 days after (got some from pound land- 3 for £1 lol so felt like I should use them up lol!!) and I kept them so I could line them up and see the very front line on day 30 to a big solid 'yes I'm definitely there' line towards the last ones. It's hard not to get very invested stronger away especially when it's so wanted. Sending many positive thoughts to you! And I hope your wrist is not being too awful!

Hope everything's going well for everyone! X

Hi every one, not been on here for a few weeks. Got my first midwife appt on Friday and friends coming up to visit for the weekend straight after ( so need the no drinking excuses at the ready ). Feeling a bit more positive about the whole thing although I would imagine with my age and the fact that I already have one child with special needs I am high risk, but trying to stay hopeful. Going to go through all options on testing and then just pray really! Like others have said I am getting attached to this baby ( only 8 weeks ) and the idea now X

Hi all,

Eagle - how are you feeling? Sounds like a bit of an ordeal you've been through. Is your kitchen back up and running yet?

Kafee - my midwife told me that they wouldn't 'let' me go overdue and would induce. I need to do some research as to whether that's what I want though. I don't want to take any risks but there are risks associated with induction too, right?

My new bras arrived today - what a relief! And maternity pillow came yesterday. After initial misgivings (DH concerned there would be no room for him in bed, and we've nicknamed it 'Nessie') I had a great night's sleep so glad I bought it. To be fair, I had a total of 4 pillows in the bed previously and this one has replaced the lot.

Meantime, I think I'm massive! Bump seems to have had a real growth spurt over the last 2 weeks and I've had 2 comments in the last 3 days from randoms: 'Not long now!' - erm, yes actually I'm only 25 weeks! So come on, give it to me straight, am I huge? There is a little belly fat involved but not that much...I just can't imagine what I'm going to look like in another 3 months!

Hello all - home for a week now and still quite badly affected by fatigue and high HR - had a bit of a moment out shopping yesterday where my pulse went up to 140 and refused to go back down so have taken it as a warning sign to take things a bit steadier. It's bloody hard work at home though as kitchen still an empty, dusty shell so even making a cup of tea is a mammoth effort. Most of the house is uninhabitable at the moment - reduced to bedroom and bathroom and the rest is a write-off in terms of mess and dust - in some ways being ill is a blessing as not enough energy to care!

thegreatergood - this always seems to be the language that gets used, ie they won't 'let' you go overdue. I get so cross about it that I ended up ranting to a MW about it while I was in hospital. It's not that there AREN'T any risks - it's just that in my experience, the doctors don't want to have a discussion about them, and would rather you just did as you were told. When I asked the doctors during my previous pregnancy, they said they 'didn't know' the exact figures, but I subsequently learned that they sure as hell knew what their hospital's stillbirth rate was but just would rather not share with me (it's higher than national average).

And no - you are NOT huge! It's just shit that people come out with for want of something better to say. I'm a little bit mean now and when I get comments along those lines (usually in swimming pool changing rooms) I say that actually I still have quite a way to go and feel very upset and self conscious about it all as I get so many comments. That usually shuts them up a bit.

I'm actually a little bit in denial about my own size as when I look down, I can't see that much. But then I see myself in the mirror and I'm like

I know this much though - during my last pregnancy (at 41) I was even bigger (about a stone heavier) and looked like a weeble with cellulite after I gave birth. And then over the following 18 months I lost all the weight, and then 10kg more than my starting weight, then took up weightlifting. Obviously my body is shot to shit again but I plan to do even better this time - don't ever believe you can't regain your old self (or an even better version!)

Hi - can join your thread? I am 46 (as is DP) and am 10 weeks pregnant with number 2. DS was born last March and will be 18 months when this one (hopefully if we make it arrives). I am thrilled and terrified in equal measure . I also have two teenage step children who live with us half the time.

I had an early scan at 7+6 and confirmed baby seemed normal sized, movement and heart rate so feel better about that but have a history of previous miscarriages so always feel a bit wobbly. This and my previous pregnancies are donor egg conceived as my own eggs were clearly shot to pieces - conceiving was not the issue but after 3 MC we decided to go the donor route. DS was a fresh cycle and this one was FET from the same batch of embryos which we had frozen.

Having the Harmony test next week when I will be 10+5. Anyone else had this done?

Congratulations and welcome GreenLizard! I recognise your name from the 40+ TTC threads although I was a lurker...

I had the Harmony test done (am 44 and had DD when I was 41, just before Harmony became available). Nothing exciting to report really - first appt with scan and blood taken, then results over phone and then a follow-up scan. Am really glad I had it done though as it removed a lot of the anxiety early on and if something had been found, we would have been at a relatively early stage

Presumably having a donor egg means that risks are generally lower? Although am pretty ignorant as to how much the odds change?

Thanks Eagle - your post has really helped me put things in perspective. I guess I'm just not used to people commenting on my body...it's such an odd thing. I'm a pretty open person and I've happily had conversations with people at work. here are a couple of girls who have said to me 'I've never been around a pregnant woman all the way through and it's fascinating', which I do get...I'm also fascinated! It's just the random strangers that I find strange. I might just pretend I'm not pregnant at all next time.
Thanks for the advice on induction etc too...I shall do my homework and ask more questions although I've not seen a consultant at all, only MW. Think it's worth asking to see one to discuss options?

Welcome Greenlizard - and congratulations! So chuffed for you after all you've been through. Not long 'til 12 weeks scan and positive early one is great news. I had 4 MCs before this one stuck...we were starting to consider the alternatives in terms of IVF too. Would love another after this one (am currently 42) so it may come to that yet. I had the harmony at 10 weeks too and found it very reassuring. Very simple - bloods taken and results 2 weeks later.

Welcome greenlizard. I am so excited for you!
I too had the harmony- just as Eagle and TGG said, it is very simple and straightforward.

I can only see two downsides:

1. the cost! It is a private test (for now at least in most areas) and the cost

can vary- you can get the Panorama test which is a cheaper brand than Harmony but the same thing, and there is a third test now on the market in the UK which also does the same thing under a different banner. The costs seem to range from around 300-500ish, although somebody on another thread was quoted 800 recently, which is absolutely ridiculous and exploitative when it is half that elsewhere. You can get it much cheaper if you shop around.

1. it is not strictly speaking diagnostic. If you are told you are 'low risk' (which is