Staying posifrickentive - Thread 7 for ladies pregnant after mc

[Metalhead]

New thread for all the lovely ladies facing the trials and tribulations of pregnancy after mc!

FWiW I think the shiny happy excitement thing is a massive oversimplification for most people. Certainly for me being pregnant is very mixed feelings. Yes, I'm happy and hopeful. But what if I lose my identity totally in motherhood? What if it's a monster, or another miscarriage? Why if DH suddenly turns into a massive arse? All those worries that lurk under the surface and are just airbrushed out altogether from the official pregnancy spin.

Lol- definitely had the castles in the air speeches too Manatee! The furthest I can get is that I'm happy nothing went wrong today, so hopefully nothing will go wrong tomorrow. The days will eventually turn in to months right?! I guess it's like any other life experience which is supposed to be "magical"- weddings being a good example. I spent most of my engagement dealing with crazy behaviours, emotions and expectations from lots of people (including myself) which was very stressful, and at the same time lying through my teeth about how wonderful everything was!!

Can anyone tell me if the bloating improves after the first trimester? I'm only 9wks and I've put on 3lbs already mostly due to Xmas and birthday but I blow up so I look annoy 6 mths if I eat a meal! Please tell me that stops soon

Yep definitely gets better Mimi- I still get a bit bloated now but a lot better!

I have a large fibroid (10cm) so between that and the pregnancy I look about two months ahead of where I am already

Hi ladies,
Hope you don't mind if I join.

I just found out I am pregnant again after a mmc last year. I don't really know what to do?! Should I go to the docs, or wait a while? I had two mcs last year, one at 5 weeks, and one at 8weeks (that I found out about at 11wks). So I am not sure whether to wait, try to get an early scan, if so, how early? is it worth getting a blood test? do I just have to be patient???
I am in denial a bit at the moment, because I don't want to believe it until I see something in there.

Welcome *Cheesecake"! I think experiences on here have varied considerably. After one EP and one MMC I was advised to get in touch with my local EPU as soon as I was pregnant. They booked me in for a scan at 7w then at 9w and was only after this that I actually officially told the GP. After a good 9w scan I was booked for a regular 12w scan by the EPU but done at the regular antenatal clinic. They also sorted me out with a midwife who I didn't actually see until after the 12w scan but it didn't seem to matter much!

Hello cheesecake (are you a rock climber?) and congratulations as well as sorry for your recent losses. Patience is required in these early stages - how far along are you? No point trying to get a scan before about 6 weeks I believe. You can pay if you don't have any luck with the NHS, for me it's worth the reassurance but I know not everyone can spare the cash. I have never ever had a HCG blood test so no idea about those, sorry!

1st, I was sorry to read your bad news. It's so tough.

I've been lurking for a while but would like to rejoin the early pregnancy fretting bench, although I am less anxious now that I had another scan earlier this week which showed a happily growing blob that is looking less like a blob and more like a baby. 9 weeks now, according to measurements on the scan. I was so relieved to see it, I'd been trying to prepare myself for bad news again, I had a funny kind of reaction afterwards and sobbed for about 10 minutes. I think all that emotion still had to come out even though it wasn't bad news. It was so reassuring as I do not have much in the way of pregnancy symptoms (please don't hate me if you're throwing up loads). Oh please stay happy in there, little tiny.

I also had a call from the midwife at the fetal medicine unit who wanted to book me in for my '12 week' scan as early as possible, because my most recent m/c was due to trisomy 13 and they want to be super vigilant for this one. It feels nice to have a little bit of extra supervision although I refuse to believe that lightning will strike twice (at least not that particular flavour of lightning, there are still plenty of other problems I don't feel 'immune' to!) Has anyone else been under the care of a fetal medicine unit?

Thanks for the welcome.

I just found out on Sunday so I am less than 5 weeks I suppose. I think I wait until next week and see the dr to see what they say.
Congratulations on your scan Tabby. I can imagine the relief!
I am a climber. I haven't been since I found out about the pg , but I do want to keep going. I have friends who have climber through their pregnancies but I am a bit nervous because of my mc history. Plus, I am so exhausted, I can barely move!

poor you with tiredness, hope it lifts soon. I don't climb really these days but I used to and lots of friends do. Some have used a full body harness to reduce any fall impact around the middle and to stay upright when pg, and climbed right up to the point where the bump just got too big! personally I think I would stick to toproping only in pregnancy to avoid any major jarring. There's no way I'd go bouldering. But I'm a bit of a softy by climber standards at the best of times. I guess it might get riskier as ligaments stretch later on as well.

(sorry to everyone else who has no interest in climbing...)

Hi Tabby, good news that your little bean has stuck in there and I'm so sorry for your previous loss. I was told once you get to 9 weeks the odds of not having a MC improve a fair bit as they made it through another development stage.

I'm under care of the fetal medicine unit at the mo due to epilepsy and some underlying genetic conditions. It's meant I have had two chats with specialised consultants who were very reassuring and will also be having a more detailed 20 week scan there too on Monday. I think if I get given the ok there then I can go back to just midwife care.

tabby I have to say as someone who is still throwing up at 35 weeks part of me would love to hate you. But after an equally sicky pregnancy with dd I would be in a state if I wasn't being sick. As horriable as they can be and although it doesn't actually mean anything they we're reasuring that atleast something wad going on.

eastend well done being able to feel youcan say nothing has gone wrong today!

Having experienced one 'inocent' and fairly easy pregnancy and then this pregnancy after mc I feel that I can safely say that pregnancy is not a 'magical' thing even when it is pretty much text book and doesn't effect your day to day life. Everyone worries I just think those of us who have lost pregnancies are more awear of everything so worry more. I did feel more I could enjoy being pregnant with dd and definantly felt like I could cope better with worries. But actually it wasn't a magical time, I was sick, bloated, sleepless and uncomfortable and post birth bliss haze has a lot to answer for! On the other hand I've enjoyed different aspects of this pregnancy much more, I've really valued feeling bump move and him having the hiccups, where as those things just happened. I know I felt her move around the 27/28 week mark but don't remember where/when. Where as I don't think I'll ever forget the first time I felt bump flutter properly at 14+2 while I was lying in bed or him getting prolonged hiccups at 21+4 while I tried to stay still waiting for the bus. Just because you're not gushing and excited all the time doesn't mean you won't experience magic moments in other ways.

Things are feeling incredably real now. Have the all clear from consultant to try for a vbac. Almost have hospital bags packed, although part of me doesn't want to finish packing them as I think if I do it will garentee nothing will happen. I'm not at all adverse to the idea of meeting bump in a couple of weeks time, once we get to the 37 week mark.

re climbing: I am going to go this weekend and take it easy and see how it feels. I don't mind dropping to easier grades to play it safe.

Welcome tabby and cheesecake lovely to have you on board.

As for doctor I went straight away had a scan at 6 weeks then 9. i weren't even 4 weeks I don't think but everyone varies so much which is why this thread is good for advice because so many of us have different perspectives, different experiences and challenges. I think your at the right stage to get registered but can understand completely how you don't want to tempt fate after your previous experiences.

dobby not long now :).

Feeling a little upset tonight me and my OH and our two DD's were in Disneyland in October. Just found out there was a terrorist attack foiled the worst thing was it was in the hotel we stayed in. the thought of my DD's feeling that fear has honestly made me so anxious thank god for the tightened security as that would of been tragic all them children.
Sorry for the downer and probably pregnancy hormones just hit home tonight.

Hi Ladies, can I join you, I really need some support... I had a mmc in November at 9 weeks (measuring 5) and am now pregnant again, 6 weeks tomorrow. I've been struggling not to worry since I got a positive bfp last week. Yesterday was my first day of nausea (I was pleased as I didn't get any last time) but then today I started to spot. Only a tiny bit and pink but that's the same as happened last time just later. I don't know how I'll cope if it all goes wrong again, I don't know what to do with myself

Hello Jay, sorry you are worrying. Would this be your first child? A tiny bit of pink or red is very likely to be everything settling down and digging in so please don't panic. If it does go wrong you will get through the tough times even if you can't bounce back immediately, but you just can't tell yet if it's ok or not. It's so hard waiting to see what'll happen isn't it. X

Hi Tabby, yep this will be my first. It's just so hard to stay calm when it's all gone wrong before. I know spotting is common but last time I was convinced everything was ok and it wasn't hence the panic this time. I saw the dr today and she offered to send me for a scan but I've chosen to wait another week given its still so early. It's going to be a stressful week! Nausea starting is a good sign though right? Keeping everything crossed!

Hi Jay and welcome, sorry for your previous loss. Please try and hang on in there, it's best to wait a bit longer as once the heartbeat can be identified, your chances improve greatly. We all have everything crossed for you and are here to help with any hand holding you might need.

Hi jay I've bled near enough all the way through this pregnancy. It's very scary but also very common. I had a bled in my uterus and 9 times out of 10 unless you have a scan you don't know you have one and I think it's 20%-25% of early pregnancies . I started light bleeding went for a scan baby was fine then two weeks later I thought it was games over I bled so heavy I was put into hospital that was awful for me filling pads couldn't get a scan until the day. Went into rescan expecting the worse and there was peanut bouncing around. Try to stay as positive as you can. We're all hand hlding with you xx

Wow keys that sounds scary.
Thanks for all your support ladies, I really appreciate it. I feel very queasy this morning so hopefully that's a good sign!

Glad you feel a bit better today Jay

Dobby I have several friends who have really suffered with sickness throughout their pregnancies right up to delivery. I know it's horrible and I really feel for anyone suffering. I know it's totally random. Good luck with the vbac.

I just gave the credit card a bit of a workout on the Seraphine website (they have a sale on, so it doesn't count, right?) Such pretty maternity clothes even though I don't need them yet. I haven't jinxed myself now have I? God I hope I won't have to send it all back ...

No Tabby you won't jinx it, lol! There has to be a couple of upsides to all the worry and shopping is one of them. I have lots of Seraphine stuff and really like it.

Food lick with your scan on Monday mimi let us know how you get on fingers crossed you will finally get to see little bean xxx

Thanks Keys, drama with building works has at least being keeping my mind off all this. The poor builders mate witnessed a full-time preg lady meltdown complete with kicking of new stairs, f-bombs, and tears, I'm mortified thinking about it . I apologised profusely and explained my situation cos I must have looked mental. Turns out the builder had a few pg scares with his DD so was understanding. I thought my symptoms were abating but I'm clearly still hormonal.