Staying posifrickentive - Thread 7 for ladies pregnant after mc

[Metalhead]

New thread for all the lovely ladies facing the trials and tribulations of pregnancy after mc!

Hi snoopy congratulations on your healthy 20 week scan and on reaching the half way mark. And good news about your scan too noodle! No idea what a normal nt measurement should be under but its reassuring that the consultant is happy, and you wangled an extra scan!

I'm sooo jealous someone has commented on your glowing-ness manatee! I look horrendous atm, I've got spots that look like mini volcanoes and permanent dark circles. Planning on spending all the money I've saved on alcohol on some additional make-up. I'm not surprised you're tired today, your menu sounds delicious!

Can someone add me to the stats as I can't seem able to do it?
Sundayraspberry, 31, no dcs, MMC June 2015, current edd July 2016.

Manatee I was doing the same all Christmas with drinks! Think I got away with it even though my sister picked up my 'vodka and ginger ale' and said 'does that even have alcohol in!?' Most of family know about miscarriage so reckon they'd keep quiet even if they did guess. Going to pretend I'm doing dry January! I did feel a bit better once I got past when I last miscarried, but still scared of getting too excited :-( can't bear the thought of going through all this sickness again for nothing.

Can I just mark my place please? I was on the rmc thread but that's all gone quiet. I'm just over 19 weeks after 3mc and ttc since 2011, this one is an ivf baby.

Lovely to see some familiar faces on here and to hear of some babies too!

I've got my 20 week scan a week today, stressing a bit as I'm not feeling anything yet although I have an anterior placenta so hopefully that's the reason, had a scan at 17 weeks and all was ok. Hoping that 2016 is a good year for all of us!

Hi mrsd! Good to hear you still check in on us every so often and that all is going well with your new baby!

manatee I definitely felt relieved when I had a scan after the point that I'd lost before but if I'm brutally honest the fear has never really gone away. My mc was my first pregnancy though so I can't say if I would have been anxious anyway. Have you recovered from the cooking marathon yet?

snoopy Congratulations! I can identify with the movement anxiety too, it seems that everyone has one that 'never stops wriggling' and I honestly couldn't say if mine does or doesn't. I still get nervous when family ask me 'Is he moving much' (which they have done a lot of over Christmas) as I don't know what the right answer is! Over the next few weeks you'll settle into a pattern and then it's there to measure against, not what other people say.

Hello and congrats to anyone I've missed.

Sorry snoopy didn't read your post properly congratulations on scan.

sunday I'm same with spots it's awful I never break out painful spots as well so attractive lol.

My stats are 30, 3 mc last one may 2015, have two DD's 5 and 3, due 22nd August but will need c section as had two previous emergency ones one at 32+5 and one at 27 weeks.

Extremely nervous x

So the nerves never really go, do they. I'd best get used to it then

keys Sympathy from me re the queasiness. I'm fine as long as I don't move much, or eat, or encounter strong smells, or think about strong smells. So basically provided I stay in bed

sunday What I may have gained in 'glow' (and tbh I'm not convinced about this 'glowing' at all) I have lost in bloat and general neurosis. Swings and roundabouts, innit

flower Welcome

sophia Yes I'm going to do 'dry January' too. It's quite good timing in that sense.

Can I join you all?

I am at a bit of a loss at the moment after a mc 6 weeks ago, after no period I POAS this week and it was unexpectedly BFP. The Dr has booked me in for a scan to confirm dates and reassure. Super scared it will all happen again and I am obsessively worrying that I could be bleeding.
I had a browse on the ante-natal boards but could definitely not face the is it a boy/girl etc. When all I can hope for is for this pg to stick! Fingers are tightly crossed for us all for uneventful pregnacies!

Crumbles Congratulations, and such a bittersweet congratulations

If you got pg straight away we're about the same gestation so we can be first trimester fret buddies along with keys and a few others

Thank you Manatee! That's lovely, I'm sure we could all use a bit of handholding especially through the very early weeks! Feeling very shocked as we weren't 'trying' but am pleased to be given a second chance!

I just feel really guilty at the moment that the mc baby has just been 'forgotten' and moved on from if that makes sense?

Crumbles I know what you mean. I really struggled over Christmas with the fact that my EDD for the lost baby would've been early January, and even after I got my bfp just before Christmas I still felt like I needed to set aside time to remember the MC. Perhaps to other people it's just an attempt, and a new pregnancy = another chance for the same baby, but if you're actually carrying the baby it's not like that. The MC was a particular baby, not just an attempt that can be written over with a new pregnancy. DH didn't really get that until quite recently. So I completely understand you might have quite mixed feelings at the moment.

manatee completely agree, I felt so guilty every time I got pg after my miscarriages...our first would have been due firework night, so we stupidly held some sparklers together ( I was 13 weeks with this pg on the day) Our second would have been due on dh's birthday in the spring, so we plan on planting a flower when the time comes ( I will be around 33 weeks with this pg then) ......

I will always remember the babies we lost, they were not simply pregnancies or attempts...they were our hopes and dreams....and its truly horrid how mc takes away the innocence and naive excitement you got with your first pregnancy from further pregnancies....

Although as I type this my little Samuel is kicking away at 22 weeks, and it does bring a little smile to my face...so all is not lost...hang on in there ladies, you'll be surprised how quickly the weeks fly by after the first trimester! Xxx

Big hugs to you all , each pregnancy was a unique little person who wasn't able to make it into the world, I think it's hard for everyone else to understand, the amount of people who said "you can try again", and I just wanted to shout that I didn't want that I wanted this baby!

I also have a 4 yr old DS and from the very first BFP I never expected anything other than bringing him into the world, and I can't say going into the 12 week scan I felt anything other than excitement to see the baby with no doubts whatsoever that he would be fine! It is so different after a mc I almost don't want to believe there will be a baby until he/she is in my arms x

Link to the stats sheet again for other new joiners

keys and sunday a normal nuchal measurement should be between 1 and 3.5, anything over 3.5 is pretty much cause for concern - my daughter had 5.5 which grew to 6.9 and she was surrounded in fluid all over her body and sadly she died (although was due to heart defect not chromosomal as found at post mortem) but this new pregnancy we had 3.5mm. I am a bit worried but because of the super consultant sonographer and the fact she checked the heart, spine, head etc and found no cause for concern im reasurred. I cant imagine how hottendousa mc would be, but i suppose at least there is some relief after the 12 week scan that youre over the danger zone.. i think that danger zone for me wont go until im holding that baby now!

crumbles paws and manatee i know exactly what you mean, i bled for 4 months after losing dd and concieved in that time so in some ways i feel like i am still carrying dd as i never had a 'break' from the craziness of that pregnancy (so i think it must be normal!)

Last week only my aunt mentioned the baby which I really appreciated. Dh didn't even acknowledge it, or if he did he didn't tell me - probably because he didn't want to upset me. The baby was (and is) in my thoughts a lot. It's a year to the day this weekend since I found out I was pregnant the first time, I can remember how blissfully naive and excited I was. My family have treated this pregnancy very much as a 'replacement' which really annoys me as that isn't the case in my eyes at all.

manatee I really hope that the nerves do settle for you, especially after a positive scan. The first tri is definitely the toughest. Part of my anxiety is linked to events that happened at the same time as my mc, I have sought professional help privately in this pregnancy to cope. It's cost a fortune but very much worth it in my opinion. Don't be afraid to voice your fears to your midwife. Mine wasn't forthcoming with support or help but it is noted in my notes that I have been struggling and that has made people I've seen a lot more understanding after my midwife left.

paws Samuel is a gorgeous name Lovely to hear you're doing so well.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'll try and log in on a computer and update the stats sheet as there's a couple of babies that need to go on.

Right, think I've managed to do it from my phone. Needed to add a whole 4 babies to the list!

Hi everyone. I am the other poster who upset the Sept 2016 thread by talking to Manatee about mc. I am just over 5 weeks after having IVF and I'm 42 so my chance of mc is sky high. Back in April last year I had a very early mc at 5 weeks on a natural BFP - not too traumatic compared to what so many of you have been through but pretty distressing all the same and I most certainly feel I have lost the "pregnancy innocence".

I am extra scared because it took so much to get here, we have no other children and I doubt I'll get another chance if this one fails.

I'm not having any symptoms, other than feeling yesterday for all the world as if I had a stupendous New Year's Day hangover. No nausea, boobs not really all that tender. I am taking progesterone twice a day by pessary and have tried to reassure myself that it's giving the pregnancy the best possible support. Also my friend said she never had any sickness so I guess it doesn't mean much. No bleeding, but then I had no bleeding with my last mc until after the blood tests had confirmed practically zero hcg.

Keep staring at the tests to try to reassure myself. Scan booked for 21st January, feels like a million years away and in my head I keep playing the scene where they can't find anything.

That said, I'm actually really happy and nobody would have any idea how anxious I am if they were talking to me!

Jessie! Good to see you here

FWIW if you're about the same gestation as me you're about 5 going on 6wks, right? Lots of people report nausea doesn't kick in until 6/7wks so it might still get you. Or you might get away with it altogether

Hi Manatee. Thanks for that info.

I can't believe I actually want to feel sick- the crazy mind tricks that pregnancy plays!

I very much identify with the poster above who found that the yoga class which referred to "your baby" in the first trimester was too much. DH and I definitely can't talk about "the baby" yet- best we can do is "this pregnancy". He hasn't even asked me about the due date yet and I don't blame him.

Jessie with my pg with DS, I had no symptoms at all really. I was never sick or nauseous throughout but he was a healthy 7lb11 baby born full term! Don't worry if you haven't had many you may not have them at all or they might come later, they are not necessarily symptoms of a healthy pregnancy. Keep hope

Thanks crumbles.

I went on to the September 2016 board the other day to have a nosey, as I will probably be due late August/early sept and I was really shocked at some of the posters asking not to talk about mc it is such a real thing that is a possibility in early pregnancy and always a worries when you have had previous losses. How shocking.

Some people cope with anxiety by discussing it, others by doing the exact opposite. Hard to see how you can accommodate both. Happily you lovely ladies are here to fret with so I'm not that fussed really.

So then - crumbles, keys, Jessie and I are all due l late August-early Sep, is that right? Any others?

Yea, to be fair to the other board, the Op who had asked us to stop talking about mc then apologised and admitted that she herself was hugely anxious. As Manatee says, you can't cater to people with opposing coping mechanisms within one single thread.

My EDD would be 30 August, although it feels like tempting fate to look that far forward. That said, I bought a new diary last week and found that it opened to that very week as that is where the ribbon bookmark had been placed in the shop! I am not really superstitious but I liked that.