Checking back in again. Wishing any new ladies calm and uneventful pregnancies and the strength needed to get through the difficult early days.
Had a lovely but rather inconculsive scan last wednesday (20 week, at 19). Baby was rather stubbon and wouldn't shift for the sonographers no matter what they got me to do. All they could really tell for sure that baby is a boy, but could only get the head measurement they needed and nothing else. One of the songraphas was a tranniee, both were really lovely, hearing all the positives they were pointing out was really reassuring. So when I find a random moment to worry about the lack of results I can remind myself that it was more a case of them not being able to get the images they needed rather than not being able to see a potential issue at all, the vital bits looked 'beautiful'.
After a few days of actually having energy and not falling asleep as soon as dd was is in bed, I seem to have reversed. Instead of being exhausted and strugling to stay awake, I'm exhausted by not being able to sleep! Think it's messing with my head, as I have no apparent reason to worry about the baby as everyone has been fantastic at reassuring me and his a proper little kick boxer in there. I seem to be worrying stupidly about dd, not helped by having horriable dreams when I do sleep about something happening to her. Which really doesn't help with the whole sleeping things as when I wake up I really don't want to go back to sleep after that. Feeling very brave as I've just tucked her up in bed after dreaming about monsters in her bedroom last night.
Also worry about random things like if the doors are locked, the oven off, frezzer shut, which is really unlike me. Think it's just a case of feeling like I should be worrying about something to do with pregnancy as it all seems to be going so smoothly with lots of support on tap, so I'm shifting it to other things. Hoping it will get better as I get more into a routine with sleeping/waking in the night. I'm awful when I'm over tired unless I manage it properly and plan in resting. Suprisingly not so bad if I expect not to sleep well, learnt that when sleeping poorly when pregnant with dd, as long as I know I'll get a little sleep and roughly when. Actually got the most sleep I'd had in months when she was a newborn feeding every 2 hours, feel it may well go that way again!
bumble I'm suprised at how much it's helping me to maintain a positive attitude have a few things that are the baby's now. Since finding out I've brought one little outfit for next summer, made a blanket over the course of the weekend, and dd has chosen a little soft toy rattle to look after for him until his born. It's nice to have things about that are his, feels so much more concreate somehow. Had worried I wouldn't want to buy anything until the last moment incase anything went wrong. Fells like they'd be memoires rather than reminders of something horriable. Acknowledging him as a person has made me feel a bond that wasn't there before.