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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnancy glamour overload...

229 replies

Baguettes · 29/06/2015 19:45

I have just picked a fight with DH regarding his bloody stinky feet. We are not talking. I am now lying stretched out on the sofa like a blimp, farting and burping. I am wearing leggings with a hole in the knee and another one developing in the crotch area. No bra. I need a bath. Considering a bowl of Rice Krispies for dinner.

Would anyone like to stake a claim to being more glamorous / sexy than me this evening?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EdgarAllenPoe · 02/07/2015 10:33

So far pregnancy has given me lots more chin hairs. And spots. Nice.

Blackandwhitecat3 · 02/07/2015 10:39

Ah, I've noticed a linea nigra this week. Looks like a tidemark I've forgotten to wash off.

MrHippy sounds like an amazing man. Maybe he has a sinus issue?

Hippymama1 · 02/07/2015 11:15

I might wax it off but the thought of flashing it at some poor unsuspecting beautician seems overly cruel. Plus they may mistake it for a small animal and summon the RSPCA to come and rehome it.

I am currently wondering whether or not MyHippy DOES in fact have an undiagnosed sinus issue, or whether it has been so long since we had sex that it has made him go a bit mad and the tempting likelihood that we might do it over the next few days to get this baby out of me has made him extra attentive. Jury is currently out.

sarkymare · 02/07/2015 11:22

Baguettes- there's never a moment of the day where there isn't any stomach acid to vomit. I seem to produce tons of the stuff.

It's marginally better than throwing up actual food I guess.

RockerMummy184 · 02/07/2015 11:31

Blackandwhite is this your first baby? The linea nigra is a funny thing AFTER you've given birth. I thought it would just sort of fade away, but it kinda has to be peeled off, like one of those little temporary tattoos kids get.

I also agree that MrHippy sounds wonderful. My husband isn't even sleeping in the same room as me at the moment. I forgot what a cuddle from a grown up sized person feels like.

Edgar my chin has developed some sort of strange brown splodge...looks a bit like a crusty straightners burn. No idea what it is.

Blackandwhitecat3 · 02/07/2015 11:49

Oooh Rocker, I'll look forward to that!

You'll all be delighted to hear I farted like a trooper first thing this morning. Feel better now. such a shame DH is missing all this

Blackandwhitecat3 · 02/07/2015 11:49

And yes this is my first baby

Original poster

Baguettes · 02/07/2015 12:54

I love farting.

OP posts:

NickyEds · 02/07/2015 13:14

Hippy Just give birth 70's style. I am.So can't be bothered with waxing. Might try and get the worst of it away with some scissors......I can't even remember what I was like with ds, neater than this I bet. Mw's have a professional duty to Say Nothing About It anyway I think!

Rocker You must get tough with these women! I once worked in an office and I swear some of the women were part-reptile.

Dp has been quite nice to me today too. He said those four little words everyone wants to hear "Let me get him" this morning when ds woke up. And he's just texted that he'll be home from work early.

NickyEds · 02/07/2015 13:16

On the down side though ds learnt to take his nappy off today so I can now include "urine" on the list of Stains On the Sofa. Nice.

geekymommy · 02/07/2015 14:39

NickyEds, always look on the bright side of life. At least if you cough or sneeze too hard and leak urine on the sofa, you can say it was from DS.

There's a conspiracy theorist, David Icke, who claims (among other nutty things that pregnant women should probably only read on the loo) that your royal family are secretly reptile people. Maybe rocker works with some of them?

I've got a couple of scars on my face (from pimples that I picked at, nothing serious) that have turned darker in both my pregnancies. One of them never quite went back to normal after my first pregnancy, either. Maybe someday I will see if a dermatologist can do something about them, when all my time and energy isn't being taken up by trying to get a toddler to eat and sleep.

geekymommy · 02/07/2015 14:43

Should we have a glamorous pregnancy meet-up, in Tooting perhaps? snicker

geekymommy · 02/07/2015 15:14

My toddler told me this morning that I look like Daddy Pig.

NickyEds · 02/07/2015 15:36

geeky I already blame fart smells on him sometimes! He's just waking up from his nap now, I can hear him singing on the moniter. I bet he's up there all "willy out".

RockerMummy184 · 02/07/2015 16:10

I left the office for 5 minutes and they've turned the air-con off! They've only been here 5 minutes as well, you'd think they had their feet under the table!

Nicky when my DS learned to take his clothes/nappy off he would strip off, get out of bed and shout me like he needed something urgently. As I went running up the stairs to attend to him he'd aim through the banister and pee all over me as I was on my way up...I've got another 2 of those on the way! It's gunna be a pee-fest!

Blackandwhitecat3 · 02/07/2015 16:35

Rocker you need to put up some of those signs next to the air con controls, you know the type? "Anyone messing with the air con will get fired" "Do NOT turn off the air con, under any circumstances, unless you actually want to be disembowelled"

Original poster

Baguettes · 02/07/2015 16:44

Daddy Pig

I am on a train. Again. Trying to adjust my elasticated maternity waistband. There is a screaming child. It's fucking hot in here.

OP posts:

brickiemum2 · 02/07/2015 18:13

This thread has the smell of classics about it

Hippymama1 · 02/07/2015 18:39

Rocker you have to be hard on the air-con trolls - don't let them get away with it. Stick up the posters! Superglue the thermostat!

I'm feeling particularly glamorous this evening in my pants and a vest on the couch, fan blowing my hair in manner of the Earth Song (Michael Jackson) video and with my massive swollen man feet and ankles elevated in an attempt to get them to go down enough so that they don't wobble when I waddle along and I can bend my toes to walk.

They look like flumps. Or the feet Hellboy would have if his feet matched his massive hand. In fact, I don't look dissimilar to Hellboy in general at the moment...

Purpleball · 02/07/2015 18:54

I bought the shorts from Evans online. I actually wore them under my wedding dress too as my hooped underskirt was nylon and I was sweaty just at fittings!

Original poster

Baguettes · 02/07/2015 21:02

OP posts:

Original poster

Baguettes · 02/07/2015 21:03

Oh man...classics. Could you imagine our glamour being forever immortalised in MN history?

OP posts:

gaggiagirl · 02/07/2015 21:09

Can we discuss the discharge?
All manner of fluid is falling from my fanjo. The acid in it has stained all me knicker gussets.

Well that was poetic.

Hippymama1 · 02/07/2015 21:15

Gaggia Sometimes I think I might have wet myself a little bit and when I check my drawers... Nope - discharge.

I have also had to buy all new pants. Massive cotton ones which cover my whole arse and go right over my massive pregnant belly. I gave a spare pair to my friend who camped out in them at Glasto last weekend.

Hippymama1 · 02/07/2015 21:16

Baguettes We would be doing womankind a favour if this thread made classics - this is the REAL what to expect when you're expecting!

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