Pregnancy glamour overload...

[Baguettes]

I have just picked a fight with DH regarding his bloody stinky feet. We are not talking. I am now lying stretched out on the sofa like a blimp, farting and burping. I am wearing leggings with a hole in the knee and another one developing in the crotch area. No bra. I need a bath. Considering a bowl of Rice Krispies for dinner.

Would anyone like to stake a claim to being more glamorous / sexy than me this evening?

Dishcharge. Yes. Lots. I fear I may slide off the sofa

Sadly in real life none of us are floating through a cornfield in a beautiful kaftan and stroking our bumps.
We are waddling up high streets sweating and wincing, wearing men's paint and piss stained joggers and wailing at our swollen cankles.

This is of legend in my ante natal group but I got admitted to the labour ward when I thought my waters had gone early......turned out it was piss and discharge...a great big gush of it.

apple special times indeed!

Apple and gaggia...we have reached a new high point on this thread.

gaggia I was sent to the MAU last week due to constant leaking all day, gushes when I changed position/stood up/coughed, etc, suspected PPROM. After 2 hours on a monitor, speculum examination and a swab test they concluded I had just been pissing myself...constantly for 24 hours. I've never been so relieved to hear that I've wet myself before! however I'm ashamed to say it's not stopped.

I am also suffering from leaking nipples, and if I squeeze them little wiggly worms of dried up milk comes out (like when you squeeze your ears after you've not had your earrings in for a while). It's fast becoming my favourite pass time.

Baguettes sometimes I have to change my pants twice or even three times per day as they are soaked.

Apple well done you for the roll in the hay. I am in admiration of your ability to bonk with a bump.

Gaggia and Rocker to be fair, how would you know the difference between wee and waters if it just came gushing out?! And better safe than sorry, right?!

Also Rocker I like shooting the dried colostrum off of my nipples in the shower or picking out the lumps if it won't spray off.

hippy too right! Its really important to go and get checked. I had the same as rocker swabbed and speculumed. Scary but the midwife says when it come to fluid get checked out!
I'm going to squeeze my nips for colostrum now.

Wahoo! So reassuring to know I'm not the only weirdo who likes to do that! I've given up mentioning the sexy stuff like that (and sucking flannels/sponges in the bath) in RL coz people look at me funny!

I complained to my DH when I woke up in the middle of the night that his breath stank and how he shouldn't be wearing the t-shirt he cooked in to bed (smelt of frying onions, ugh!). His response was "when did you last have a shower" uh, Tuesday, I've been ill.

Why on EARTH was he wearing a t-shirt in bed in this heat?! Is he a descendant of the 'Reptile Royal Family'?

Always wears a t-shirt in bed!

I've been leaking milk too. I thought pregnant women were supposed to retain water?? Then why is it fluids are leaking, spraying and,lest we forget, gushing out of us at all times!!!

I've outdone myself on the glamour front today ladies - I am still in my PJs and yesterdays pants, no bra, on the sofa, haven't even cleaned my teeth. I'm stuffing my face with carbs and ice-lollies, burping and farting as per and scratching my areas in manner of old man.

40 weeks today.

Well done Hippy! And happy "due date".

Has anyone else found their attitude has become less than glamorous as well as their appearance?

I have been less than patient, rather snappy and quite emotional for the last 2 days, but today it turned into a kind of boiling rage, (I'm talking bulging eyes, burst blood vessels and waving my hands in the air screaming) after it took TWO PEOPLE in my office 26 minutes to forward a goddamn email.

Afternoon ladies (I use the word in the loosest sense )

Today I had my 20 week scan and got to see my little boy, which was amazing! BUT I preceded that by having the shits twice in ten minutes in the single toilet at the antenatal clinic - so sorry, fellow scan-goers

I had to sit on the floor of the shower to shave my legs yesterday because I was giving myself heartburn bending over.

I have bought some tena lights - they are great! My knickers last a whole day!

I'm too hot and I really want to take my trousers off but I am at work and I think it would be Frowned Upon

I think I might have to have a shower today, my own stench is making me queasy.

This post is hilarious .... I just looked at my top and got milk stains from morning cereal and beetroot stains from my salad that had for lunch ... I just had to laugh!

My 4yo DS just reprimanded me for farting.

I spilt sweet chilli sauce down my dress at lunch. It's a very patterned dress and not really noticeable unless you look really hard, so I'm going to wear the dress again tomorrow.

I have washed myself and changed my pants, mainly because like blackandwhite I was starting to find my own aroma offensive.

I have the pregnancy rage too Rocker - I can go from being a normal, sane human being to a homicidally inclined crazy woman in about 2 seconds flat and with very little provocation. Unfortunately, the rage is the less common extreme emotion - the most common being the sobbing despair that comes with realising that an inanimate object may not have the opportunity to fulfil its purpose on Earth, or from watching the latest Lloyds Bank advert with the horse in it.

I am hoping I will go back to normal once I have had this baby but from what I understand, the tears are here to stay.