Best shit place grads # 2- still pregnant after miscarriage

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

Another thread ladies

You are right Sasha, utter bullshit.

Fucking Interflora just turned up with a fucking plant. Presumably from my in laws (I haven't opened the card) and of course a lovely thought and very sweet and well meant but AIBU to have wanted to throw it as hard as I could into the road? I didn't of course but I plonked it on the floor. The poor delivery looked quite alarmed, I suppose most people are pleased when he turns up. Yes of course I am being unreasonable, it was very nice of them. Just... A reminder, I suppose. And breathe...

West - I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow.

Sasha, I agree it's shit. I'm envious of all those people on the board so excited about early pregnancy without this great shadow cast over it.

Msj - totally understand where you are coming from, the last thing you want is reminders staring you in the face, even if the sentiment was sweet. It such a crap thing to be going through anyway, but it's made 1000 times worse by hormone overload.

Yeah I think I might have overreacted a bit... It was just a shock. Actually it turned out to be from my boss. She is not known for her caring and empathetic qualities but it is a nice gesture. I have calmed down again now and feel a bit silly, I just went a bit peculiar.

Someone on another thread had commented something like 'I've bought some maternity clothes even though I'm only 6 weeks. I'm not in the least bit worried about this pregnancy, I always have healthy ones.'
It made me furious. I always had healthy ones until I had a fucking miscarriage and a miscarriage can happen to ANYONE. It's not a case of some people have healthy ones and some people have miscarriages. ANYONE can have a miscarriage and there is no reason.
I think that's mostly my shit though. Good for her that she so confident. I used to be like that.

Thanks for your kind thoughts.
Girl sailor I think that research is about me! Or my type I should say. My last mc I had such undeveloped sacs it should have been a chemical but didn't start bleeding till 7 weeks.
Time before that MMC was discovered as 12 week scan. Never got past 7 weeks. I know I hang on too long. I'm guessing this one passed some time ago too.
My scan tomorrow is 9:30am.

guy what she said is hugely hurtful and insensitive- but she clearly isn't remotely educated in the science of conception and doesn't know any better. . I feel sad for her that she could be so ignorant and let's just hope she never suffers the unimaginable pain of losing a baby.

Have been thinking very much about our group today. I would be lying if I said the recent devastating losses haven't rocked my boat somewhat. Have spent today gripped with fear. My dd is besotted with this baby already- I don't think i can handle the failure of this pregnancy not making it too. I am very much wondering if we've made a huge mistake telling her post 6 week scan. It's still so early. Fuck.

And I'm not falling asleep or lying in bed unable to move with nausea for the first time in ages tonight. This isn't helping.

Sasha around 5/6 weeks I think I kept getting a feeling like there was a bubble growing and then popping low down.

With my mc I came over shaky and almost fluey an hr before I began bleeding.. BUT I when I read my dd pregnancy diary I'd written that my legs and hands /feet felt shakey in first tri and I v distinctly remember coming over shakey and v flu like suddenly the night after her birth. So I'm not sure it's the mc indicator I'd been so scared of in this preg iykwim. . X

Sasha that could be either. Sorry, totally unhelpful.
Chasing at 9 weeks, the placenta takes over and the amount of hcg starts to go down. My ms with dd started to go about 8 weeks and was gone by 10. This time of has improved slightly rather than gone- but then again, there are two babies in there.
I don't know if it was insensitive of that person on the other thread. I really did used to feel like her. My last pregnancy, I thought everyone on the antenatal thread was nuts- constantly panicking about mc and obsessing over early scans. I just assumed it wouldn't happen to me.
west keeping my fingers crossed for you and your scan.

I don't know. . I think "I only have healthy ones" is mega insensitive.

I think the reason I object to that is because I didn't see my mc as an 'unhealthy' anything. Yes, my dd was a healthy baby but the mc wasn't an unhealthy baby because it wasn't a baby and it never would have been.
A mc is a fucking miserable awful thing to go through. But it's not unhealthy, is it? Or bodies didn't fail to grow a baby; no body in the world could develop something which just physically is never going to become a baby. It's actually how we evolved and it's a clever body that stops trying to nurture something which never would have worked, chromosonally speaking. A mc isn't something you can control.
Please forgive me if this is a horribly insensitive way to speak.

Guy, I totally agree with that, some people are pretty naive because it went well first time round. I sailed through my first pregnancy without a care in the world and now I'm possible facing my 3rd miscarriage in 11 months. You can never be too cocky where Mother Nature is concerned.

Hi everybody, just checking in. So sorry to hear everybody is having a rough time of it, seems like it's all of us! I'm worried too, I have a pulling down feeling in my uterus and mentally I'm a bit drained. It's spot on, hard to enjoy a pregnancy after mc.

Hi all.

Just popping on to say how sorry I am to all those going through sadness at the moment. Just makes me all the more aware how nothing in life is guaranteed. It is so unfair.

It really is hard to enjoy when you know of all that could and does go wrong. Oh to be in ignorant bliss. I agree though, I don't like the term "unhealthy".

and unmumsnetty hugs to all those who need them tonight x

I totally get what you mean Guy. I think that way too.

Glen and west sending hugs. Really wishing for the best possible outcomes for you (and sasha and keys). It is so unfair that you're having to go through this uncertainty and worry and grief all over again

Also, MrsJ really thinking about you and hope that you are recovering ok. You're so brave and strong. I had an ERPC after my last miscarriage and my WTF cycle was about the same length as normal. After med management it was all messed up (and took ages til I got a BFN).

Chasing, I get what you are saying about being knocked back by others bad news. I feel the same way, every time I hear someone else has bad news I get more scared. But please don't be scared by my news. I'm 42, and therefore much more likely to miscarry than a young woman, even before taking anything else into account. It's the probable explanation for me.
It doesn't make it any easier though. I'm seriously out of time here.

Oh West .. don't say that, my heart can't bear it. You can't be out of time you just can't.

I guess in the same way we are spurred on by everyone's positive news and then equally upset and worried when it starts going wrong. This group has been home and it all feels very much like we are in this together. I am desperately sad that we aren't all just progressing our pregnancies together.

So sad reading of such uncertain times for so many of us. Hugs to all and to those in limbo. I'd so hoped for positions outcomes from our batch. Today a friend was cooing over a new baby and her husband said 'no, that shops shut' then turned to me and said 'you'll have to have one then she can have a cuddle'. I thought if only it was that easy......

positive outcomes

Yes, this group is a great support.
On the upside for me I still have been falling pg just as easily as I did in my 20s. That's saying something for someone my age. Having one stick would be nice.
Sorry, don't want to make you feel worse.

its so hard. all the symptoms people talk about could be pregnancy symptoms but then signs of something else.

with my mmc i had a pain in my lower back right towards my bum almost like i could feel something was stuck. if i went over speedbumps or anything i really felt it. saying that though at the beginning of this pregnancy i experienced something similar a couple of times.

in all honesty until a scan that confirms one way or another i think you just cant tell. even after that you still worry. im 14wks tomo so symptoms are really lifting now and apart from my growing waistline i could easily forget.

anyway im keeping up with the thread and just wanted to offer support to all those having difficulties and a little bit of optimism for those where there is hope and wish all the best to everyone else.

p.s. the woman claiming to always have healthy ones, how insensitive and naieve! try to forget their stupidity.