The even newer posifrickentivity thread for ladies pregnant after miscarriage! Spring 2, welcome!

[squizita]

Hi Ladies, continuing our posifrickentivity journey.

Wishing all healthy pgs and lots of thread babies!

Honey, I have 2 children, am pregnant with a 3rd and am in a really good place right now, however in December went along to a 'saying Goodbye' service (its a rememberance service held for women to remember their miscarried babies run by the Saying Goodbye charity) I thought I was 'over it' and I'd moved on, but I sat there and cried like a baby! They handed round a hand bell and invited you to ring it for every child you had lost, I just cried and cried and couldn't ring the bell 6 times, it was just too much.

I fully believe that a miscarriage is on par with a still birth, the greif will never leave you you just learn to live with it. Nothing can replace that baby you lost, and important dates stay with you. I don't remember all my due dates and miscarriage dates, but I have a day a year where I light a candle and remember my 6 precious babies, just like I celebrate my dcs birthdays, I celebrate the time I carried my babies.

Lots of hugs to you, and take it easy xx

Oh cbeebies I just burst out crying on the train reading your post. Was really moving. Not sure I could handle the bell ringing either and I've 'only' had two mc.

Honey hope the day went by peacefully for you. I remember all my anniversaries and EDDs, trying to just let them pass me by after the first year (last EDD was this Jan) or it just means I'm sad too many days. cbeebies I've thought about going to one of those services but it all sounds too much at the moment, I couldn't toll the bell four times Maybe one day when it's more in the past it will be a healing thing to do, def not whilst pregnancy hormones are raging! I hope all is ok with your LO and the next monitoring is less stressful.

Hi all. I think it's happening again. I tested this morning and last night and the lines were so faint they could have been negative. Gonna call EPU when they open at 8 to see if they can do some bloods.

Thinking of you sea and crossing everything for some good news to head your way soon

seasalt stop testing! I started bleeding at 6w and tested the morning I was going to the EPU. It was so much lighter and just confirmed my fears. They scanned me at the EPU and found twins, who are now 6 months old. Stop testing!

honey I know exactly how you feel, and my anniversary was around the same time in my pregnancy. I hope the day passed peacefully and you feel strong and positive today. I also had a horrid pregnancy and didn't believe everything was going to be okay until they were out of SCBU at 3 days old. Good luck with the last few weeks of your pregnancy and try to relax. If you can, try and get ready a bit. I didn't, at all, and it made the first week or so a lot tougher than it should have been because everything was packed up and hidden in the garage

Honey it is so tough. I don't remember the EDDs so much as the dates of the losses. Just passed one at the end of Feb. April will be another difficult month.
CBeebies :( I have also thought of going to one of those services. But I don't think I can yet. Maybe one day when/if it all works out I will go.

Fedup FX for you and comforting thoughts because it is such a terrifying weird feeling. I've had my mucus go really dark and of course spotting. Absolutely shat myself. Hoping it's nothing, and if it the colour looks scary, it's from the vaginal side as mine was and just a bastarding terrifying experience.

Seasalt I hope the bloods come out positive. Keeping FX.

No news from me (which I suppose is good news).
Anyone past 13-14 weeks find it a bit 'limbo' ish? Far less sickness and feeling pretty OK, but no bump or movement yet. It's like "did I dream the last 12 weeks?" "Has my little bean vanished?".
I'm almost tempted to give up my prodigal mission to regulate my bowel movements (1/4 glass prune juice per night, lunch = huge pile of veggies, no eggs or 'binding' foods = one poo, albeit small, per day). Just so I have a symptom!

I panicked I couldn't even feel my uterus last night but DH found it. He didn't even know what to feel for and was like "there's this thing feels like a balloon with some putty in it down here..." which was the right place. :)

Epu won't see me without a referral, she also said that at 5 weeks they can't do anything anyway. Currently on ho,d to the doctors to ask for a referral.

Do you have pain and bleeding? I'm so sorry you're going through this.

seasalt, are you sure that you hadn't accidentally diluted your sample (drinking lots of water in the night, having a wee at 4am, that sort of thing)? Is the test from the same batch or a different one? I'm torn between agreeing with dietcoke that it is not that healthy to keep testing, and my own experience that seeing the line get darker is sometimes the only reassurance you can get at this stage. The tests aren't that reliably quantitative though (for reasons like those above), so If this is the only 'symptom' and there is no bleeding or pain, I would try and take a few deep breaths before the next step.
Hope that your GP gives you a referral, and that you get the reassurance you need from EPU.

No pain or bleeding, but then, I didn't have that with my first mc, it wasn't detected til my 12 week scan.

Doctor is writing me a form for bloods. But to be honest, I'm not sure they will make me feel better.

The tests were just cheapies, all of which have been super faint since testing positive last week. I then did a first response this morning, but not the early response one, which was the second from a pack of 2, the first one I did on Saturday was faint but positive, this one was really really faint. In between those I've done first response early response and it was a lot darker, tho I guess the early ones are more sensitive than the normal ones. I really don't know what to think. I wish I hadn't tested, but I did and now I can't stop crying.

It doesn't make it any easier that today is a year since we discovered we'd lost the first one. :(

Sending everyone hugs and posifrickintivity lots of sad posts x

Sea salt. This isn't helping you. I'm going to be really bossy now and say do not take any more tests! Today you are pregnant. There is no bleeding, no pain. STOP testing. Take the bloods from the dr and go from there. I don't get strong positives till 12 weeks pregnant, some women don't, it doesn't mean it's all going wrong. Today you are pregnant x

Thanks that's pretty much what the lovely lady at EPU said when I called her in tears!

MabelMay and JBrd thanks for the reassurance.
Lots of positive thoughts and hugs to everyone, it's such a nerve wracking time being pregnant and easy to worry!
Have a missed called from my community midwife so we'll see. Can't help but think of the MC last time, but as they say every pregnancy is different!
Xx

Hello to the new ladies again, ur deff in the right place for hand holding! Sorry to see so many sad posts today and yesterday too :-/

Sea I hope the blood tests out ur mind at rest, when I first joined this thread the first thing I was told was to step away from the pregnancy tests as I was doing the same as you and stressing about them not getting any darker, but once uv done it it's so stressful worrying about what the tests mean! But honestly I think a lot of the time it means nothing, mine didn't darken down over the course of the week that I tested and there were a few that I thought were lighter than the origional ones and fx everything's still going well for me at 15 weeks. Hopefully ul get some answers very soon.

Squiz I still havnt managed to feel my uterus yet (15+5), how can u tell were it is? I'm still feeling sick, horribly thirsty and have headaches (basically if anything ms is getting worse) But I still have that kind of limbo feeling cos everyone nos but I'm not properly showing and can't feel it move yet, but I get asked daily if I can feel movement yet, and although logically I no I won't feel it yet it's still driving me mad! I have a private scan coming up next week (to find out the gender n generally check up on him/her) and scan doom has massively set in, I'm even convincing myself that what I'm hearing on the doppler isn't the baby now cos I can only find it for a few seconds at a time now (in reality I then hear what sounds like a kick, n then I find the hb again slightly over, don't think it likes the doppler) iv even stopped telling DP that iv used the doppler incase we get to the scan next week and I find out that iv been listening to the wrong thing for the last 6 weeks and the babies gone, I'm actually crazy! Logically I no that's crazy cos I spent a lot of time watching videos and making sure I was listening to the right thing, and it took my 3 weeks to find the hb in the first place cos I got the doppler too early, but what can I say, scan doom makes me loopy I hope

Can I just ask all ladies who have miscarried but now have successful pregnancies, did you find that anything specifically (treatments, etc) made a difference for the successful pregnancy(ies) and was it for any specific condition or just in case?

silverine I'm only early 2nd trimester with this pregnancy, but iv done nothing at all different to the last pg, think mine was just one of those very unfortunate things that cudnt have been avoided, realise that's no help but thought I'd answer anyway

I've started spotting so I'm pretty sure it's over. Thanks for your kind words. I hope I'll be back soon x

Oh sea, . My fingers are crossed it isn't over for you. Hopefully EPU will see you asap.

I don't see the point in going to epu really. I know what's coming.

Alb I don't know how, but DH described how it feels according to MN and other forums. Apparently you have a feel and a palpate above the pubic bone. Scan doom is horrible. I don't dare use a doppler as I'd just scare myself silly.

Sea So sorry to hear this. Still keeping fx.

Silver I got diagnosed with a clotting condition after 3 losses. Bar things like that unfortunately there isn't much that can be avoided to prevent losses. Just the obvious don't smoke etc'.

They want to scan me on Sunday. Guessing to rule out ectopic?

Hi ladies - sorry I haven't managed to catch up on the thread - I hope you are all ok. seasalt sorry to see you are going through a worrying time. Hi to all new ladies!

Just wanted to update you - we have a name! Baby Imogen I am finding section recovery a lot harder this time but apparently they snipped something they shouldn't have so I lost a lot of blood and that's making the wound more painful. I can't believe I'd forgotten how hard the newborn bit is - she doesn't sleep until 1am earliest, and then doesn't like to be in her crib! It's all coming back to me now! I'm very hormonal, and really random things have me sobbing, like how much bigger my DD1's hands seem now compared to Imogen's - how random??! Anyway I won't bore you with my sleep deprived ramblings, when I'm feeling more coherant I will come back and properly catch up.

saggy if you're about - hope Lucy is getting there with her feeding! We are doing wee top ups in the evening but the feeding is already so much better than with DD1 so for all the lack of sleep that does make me feel so much better.

fod any progress? are you still hanging in there love? hope baby arrives soon!

kjh hope you're still enjoying mat leave the spd isn't getting you down.

big wave to 2nd trimester ladies, hope you are feeling more confident, and big hand hold to those of you in the scary early days.