PG after MC? Posifrickitivity and handholding aplenty

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Hello again - another shiny new thread for the batsh*t crazy women going through the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is being pregnant after a miscarriage.

Fingers crossed for lots of happy scans and boring pregnancies.

Pentagon - nooo! I was so hoping for live updates! Or am I just very odd in liking to read that kind of thing?!
I am also getting very scared - although seems so silly as there isn't a lot I can do to change anything!
Fingers crossed for sneeze births all round....

Thankyou everyone, really considering today and the rest of the crap i put up with at my gp surgery thinking of just moving surgeries if possible. It's hard enough to even get an appointment there and as for a complaint who would i make it to?
The hospital, mw or surgery as i have no clue who has been hanging on to it so long

Going to ring round tomorrow and see which surgery will take me on.

On a lighter note, congrats on your scan guff

Thank you for all your welcomes.

I am plucking up the courage to phone for a doctor's appointment so it is really interesting to read people's views on early scans.

I also think that some of the reason women don't talk about mc is career related. If this baby survives it will be my first. Whether they are allowed to or not, employers will treat women who they think are going to go off on maternity leave differently, so I didn't want to scupper my career prospects by telling them about a mc, because then they will know I want to have a baby. Has anyone else felt like that?

welcome to the other newbies.

Pumpkin Im not sure, but I think you can have an amnio at any stage. Im fairly certain you can pay for one through the FMC. 1 in 150+ is pretty good odds though.
I would be lodging a formal complaint though. That SUCKS!

pgchimp Welcome! I was the same as you regarding work and MC. I was up for a promotion so didn't tell them about my MC. luckily it happened while I was on holiday so although that was traumatic in itself at least I wasn't at work and so didn't have to try and cope with that. I actually did tell my boss about it when I informed him about this pregnancy. He was very sympathetic - but then he is a lovely guy. I did get the promotion but definitely think it would have gone to someone else if they knew I was trying for a baby at the time of the interviews.

tea we are just about neighbours! I'm still due on April 21st - that date hasn't changed at all since the beginning. [smug face] - GP kept insisting I was a week out. I too am trying to be super positive about this and am not googling any more pg horror stories to see what might go wrong! Had a minor panic attack at 2am on Sat, we'd told everyone and I became convinced that it was all going to end in tears - I think I was terrified people would think I had done something wrong if we now lose this one. But thankfully rational thought had retuned and I'm trying to focus on the general excitement around me :)

oh my goodness I really can't keep up here! on my phone so apologies if this is a bit random and doesn't cover everyone!

cbeebies your mw sounds terrible. Do whatever you need to do to change. After all you've been through you need to have trust and confidence in your mw. Yes to whoever said community midwives seem a bit less committed/ on the ball. Two missed the fact that DD was breech last time so I don't have a lot of faith in ours!

pumpkin sorry you're being messed around with your results, that's way out of order.

guff hooray for good scan! and being team yellow!

ibip totally with you on live birth threads I love them!

Tiger cub when I heard I had an initial moment of being outraged at the lack of child proofing in the zoo. Then I remembered it was a tiger not a baby

McCann case, I wanted to watch last night but I thought it would be too upsetting. Because DD is coming up to that age now it just horrified me. I think its the thought that (for me anyway) there are always times as a parent that you do something because you think on balance it'll be ok and 99% of the time it is but sometimes it can go horribly wrong.

Early scans... for me, I mc'd at 8/9 wks so an early scan wouldn't have helped me. My mw kindly booked the earliest dating scan our trust allowed which was 10wks and I was ok with that.

bumble after an EMCS last time and (resulting?) bf disaster afterwards I'm in a similar position. I'm hoping for a more natural delivery but also trying to get myself to a place where I'm ok with whatever may happen as safe arrival of baby is paramount. Re bf, I had such a terrible time with it and absolutely hated it, I think because it just didn't seem to work (milk never came in, DD struggled to stay latched on, 2wks of constant feeding and DD just getting thinner and hungrier ) but I really want to get over that and give it another go this time. Scared though.

Hola to new ladies and all the best

pg I'm in complete agreement and since my mc I have been alienated at work, passed over for promotions etc then I'm called into meetings by my course team leader along with my line manager to say things like "we are worried your alienating yourself" they have gone out of their way to orchestrate reasons why IM the problem and not THEM!..... Silly girls, don't they realise it's all been logged?

pumpkin I believe you complain to PALs - Patient Advice Line ( they are a seperate organisation so you can be sure it will be dealt with)

hi all, just been catching up for ages.

santa and pixie completely with you about Maddie and my DH made us watch crimewatch too. With DD coming up to 3 years old it's just unbearably painful to think about.

cbeebies jeez why do these people decide to be midwives when they have the empathy of a dead duck. Definitely change ASAP and let them know why.

rainbow i have taken DD to all my MW appointments (more through necessity) she does ask questions incessantly for the whole time I am there but I suppose it does make her more involved!

pumpkin before my tests I asked my midwife what would happen if I was near the 1 in 150 cut off and she said we would still be offered counselling to help us to choose if we wanted more tests, obviously I don't know if this is the case in your PCT but I think saggy is right you can have amnio at any point and the later you are the mc risk disappears, but I think there is a slight risk of premature birth. It may be worth finding out your options if you will worry for the rest of the pg. (but 1 in 163 is pretty good odds of all being well).

I finish work next Wednesday! and it's not a moment too soon, I'm losing my lovely boss and getting an old school chauvinistic twat as a replacement :( hopefully there will be more changes in the 10 months I am off and I'll get my nice boss back.

talking about work; fod you've had loads of good HR type advice so I will just add, don't let the bastards grind you down. You know it is unfair and you are being treated appallingly but you know you are good at your job, you have a lovely supportive DP and you are going to have a beautiful baby and all the rest can go to hell

Awwww bump thank you soooo much sweetie that's a lovely thing to say xxxxx

Awwww bump thank you soooo much sweetie that's a lovely thing to say xxxxx

It's not that I begrudge the air time! My daughter is 3. I just felt terrified and sick at the thought of what happened to Madeleine at the same age.

Sorry to hear about rubbish midwives. I love mine, she's young but so on the ball. Very lucky!

Black I didn't mean to suggest you did (I might just disappear and stop talking! ) I just meant that personally I hate watching it because it brings up so many fears and emotions, but I understand why they are still talking about it.

Haha! I just didn't want it to look like I did begrudge the air time, that's all! Think we're all unanimous in our feelings about it anyway. Please don't disappear!

I'm very attached to my two dc at the moment; really don't want to go to work today! Oh well only one more week then half term x

medoing and pixie can I recommend this book as good preparation for having another go at breastfeeding? It's also worth finding out what support there is available in your area because getting the right help from the off, before you get sore can make all the difference. Most BF groups welcome visits from bumps and it's good to have made contact before baby arrives. Try to find one where advice is given by a BF counsellor and not a HV.
Every birth is different, hopefully things will go more smoothly for you both this time round and that puts you in a better starting position for what comes after.

Hi all, not posted in a long time as I've found I cope better as a bit of an ostrich - trying to convince myself that I have no worries about this pregnancy and pushing bad thoughts to the back of my mind!

Feeling very mixed emotions at the moment. Had my 20 week scan yesterday and all looks fine, as good as it can for my little girl. Absolutely over the moon about this! However, Friday would have been the due date for the baby I lost, and all the emotions linked to that are bursting out - I keep crying for the smallest reasons, I can't focus on things properly. I'm hoping I'll feel better once that date has past. Is this normal???

Hello everyone - I don't think I can keep up with this thread - I certainly don't seem to be dealing with real life very efficiently at the moment, so there's no hope for anything else

Cbeebies, I'm so sorry you've had yet another rotten experience. I don't know how easy it is to change, but I'm with yer mum there. Ditch her as soon as you can - you deserve better.

Guff, glad you've had good news!

Rockchick, I'm crap at advice on the whole, but (((((hugs))))). The thing that I read once that resonated with me is that grief is like a stone that you carry round with you - at the start, it's huge and unbearable, but it gets smaller over time. Eventually it's a small pebble that sits in your pocket - you don't think about it all the time, but sometimes you put your hand in your pocket and find the pebble and remember. I hope your grief gets easier to carry, but give yourself whatever time and care you need. As was said upthread, you don't so much get over a mc, but it becomes part of who you are. I'm also so pleased for your lovely scan news.

I'd like some crossed fingers, but for a non-pregnancy-related thing if I can be so cheeky. I've got a meeting with an agent who I hope can get my freelancing rolling more effectively, and it's all tremendously exciting, etc. However, I've had a rubbish night's sleep and am feeling pretty lousy - I just hope that I can be all smiley and perky for the nice agent lady this afternoon!

rock great news on the scan - congratz! I'm sorry you're feeling down, it should get better once the date passes. snot I really like your analogy on grief. Good luck with your meeting today!

Hi rock good to hear from you, great you had a good 20 week scan too - can't believe we've both reached this milestone!

I've passed my due date which was hard too as my cousin has just had a baby who had the same due date (typical!)

However, I'm trying not to dwell on it and think this baby inside me is the one that's meant to be and I'm grateful for that but I do understand - you just have to deal with it in the best way for you. There is nothing wrong with crying and letting it all out... Just make sure you keep talking to people that understand (ie the ones that have experienced MC!).

cebeebies we loveeeeeee you and all your talking ;)

Have any of you suffered pelvic pain? It's a throbbing sensation on my left side between my lower abdomen and upper thigh, it comes and goes but mainly when I'm walking

Yes, get thee to a physio. They can give you a bump support and crutches if it's bad bad. Bump support really does make a HUGE difference

That doesn't sound good cbeebies :( the pain has now moved to my lower back but still on the left hand side

fod sounds like beginnings of SPD/pelvic girdle pain. physio will be able to give advice, I've also found giving up heels, pushing things (eg shopping trolley, pushchair, Hoover) and having plenty of rest with feet up helpful. It's miserable but doesn't affect baby at all so that's something... I've just negotiated more days working at home because mine is getting worse

I'm glad everyone is doing well. I am 11 weeks today and woke up feeling...great. My nausea seems to have gone, and my breasts are no longer very sensitive. I should be pleased that I feel better, but of course I am starting to wonder if these are Bad Signs. Sigh.. I suppose I will find out either way on Tuesday.

Had my booking in appointment with the midwife today who was lovely. She said from 10wks onwards my symptoms should lessen so not to panic (!) as I was saying I still feel sick but haven't had a green moment (where I can hardly breathe I feel so pukey) for 2 days!!! Hope she's right!