Dec 08 Ladies welcome to the new Bean, next stop, Summer.

[Veggiemummy]

Sorry very boring had to think quickly, not my best feature

Lazy sod?! Unorganised? I beg to differ! Erm, school runs on a bike, baking muffins, trips to Ireland, looking after other peoples kids, pressies, flower sending! Better tell us about a few meltdowns I think so I feel better baout myself

May well be one tomorrow as I noticed (during one of DS2's screams today) that he has more teeth poking through. He has already woken twice tonight so could be a bad night. Bad sleeps make mummy & DS2 grumpy. I should go to bed now in anticipation but want to watch The Tour highlights.

Ha ha ha! Shouting my way to custody, that's priceless! I think I very nearly did, the way I was carrying on. It was certainly a breach of the peace. I don't think I was effective, so much as very frightening with my crazy morning hair and the cursing like a navvy.

They didn't install the machine, Veg, no, but I wasn't expecting them to. Good job DP is handy. Wow, your delivery man sounds like a creep!

Rubes, I haven't spoken to her about emergencies this time but last time I asked, and she did tell me if I went off out of hours she would come in and sort me out but of course, this could have been spinning me a line. Also, if she was in the middle of another delivery (for instance) I am not sure how this would be possible. Anyway, happy to go by the next scan and she knows how I feel. Not sure where we are meeting yet but obviously 'twould be lovely to see you. As for names - I say put them aside for a week or two and don't even think about 'em, then you will come back to them anew and have a better perspective.

DP is keeping me on tenterhooks as to whether I have persuaded him of First Name of my Choice. We still haven't got on to middle names really, yet. I dreamed he wanted me to call her Annabel last week. It's a nice name I reckon but it's not one I intend to use. I told him and he said "Ooooh, yes, I love that"

Furminator shampoo? That might have overtaken 'Bum Genius' nappies as my new favourite brand name.

Yay Spain! I have them in the work sweepstake, so I am v happy tonight. And I get a small payout even if they lose. DH had Germany in the pub sweepstake - so nur nur nur to him, I win!

I have eaten so much cake tonight - bliss! My manager goes on mat leave on Friday and we went for afternoon tea after work tonight for a leaving do/baby shower. It was essential that I try every single cake on the cake trolley. And when I got home I decided that I hadn't had a big enough tea, so added a big slice of apple pie to the cake in my tummy. Think I will experience a nasty sugar comedown tomorrow.

Well done for standing your ground with the delivery man LadyT. In those situations I get so angry I just cry, which never really achieves anything satisfactory.

Avo I often think that DD has an astonishing strong will and has the better of me most of the time. But I think your DD2 has the edge. Better than being a doormat though. And at the thought of Jolly joining you and shouting CAKE in harmony with your DD.

I do live in E Yorks Jam, but met my Swedish friend at Uni. We've kept in touch, but only seen each other once since graduating a year or two plus ten ago, although she's hoping to come over here this Autumn, which would be lovely.

I am a bit worried about a friend of mine, who has a DC a similar age to ours. She is lucky to be a SAHM and loves it, but I (and another mutual friend) think she's becoming increasingly reclusive. She won't let anyone else put her LO to bed, including her DH, who I know feels rejected by this. And as a result she is refusing almost all invitations to go out, as she worries her LO won't settle for anyone else (not that she's ever tried it). We'd been invited out this weekend and she'd got a babysitter booked, planned what time to meet us etc etc, but on Monday decided she couldn't leave her LO and wouldn't know anyone to talk to (tosh, there's 8 of us going together, plus lots of old friends to catch up with). After lots of rows with her DH this week, he's put his foot down and is coming without her. All this is fine, but she lives in a v rural and isolated spot, and rarely goes out to baby groups or other things during the week, which is the part that worries me tbh, as she must often have days without uttering a word to anyone. Can I ask you SAHM's if actually this is normal, and I shouldn't compare her to me (when I know that sometimes I am a little too eager to hand DD over to someone else)? I don't know whether I need to forcibly drag her away from her DD for a couple of hours, to prove that all will be fine - or if I should accept that we're all different? Where is the line between someone who is happy with their own company, and someone who is unhappy around others?

Lady my friend swore by Bum Genius! I love the name but gosh I'm so not up to the reusable jobs
That's nice of your consultant. This bump of mine has got really low recently. I swear she's fells like she's going to drop out shortly The lady at swimming thinks so too, but then the other girl said nah It looks small for my weeks!

Yes I have tried that - have stopped thinking about names for a week or so several times but it's not working! just come round to the next name on the list and then come up with a reason why not again and move to the next Our middle names are more sorted infact one is a definite but the 3rd is either going to be the 3rd or going to be the 1st

Must get to sleep. Got to get this feral hair taken care of tomorrow, and we have tyre issues so have to pump up the car tyre before I leave with the little lecky pump -That's not ideal is it - must get that fixed asap. Feel like we've just spent a truckload on the car as it is, and then more.

crossed Zoe. She really needs to start handing the dc over and try it in small stages. I could see myself going down that route, but I think (hope) it got nipped in the bud when i was forced to go back to work. I had awful stress about it and also even nightmares about things going wrong when i wasn't there but it has got gradually better and better. I haven't actually left him overnight ever - however not for not wanting to, but more becasue the opportunity hasn't arisen. mil is always offering (ie Spain and Devon trips) but tbh I've wanted him with me for company as much as he's a pita sometimes I'd also miss him so haven't wanted to! I still sometimes get wobbles about leaving him with people other than mil and dh (which I had occasion to haven't yet) but I would still do it no probs as i know it's just me being silly. I'm not sure how you tackle it with a friend, perhaps when her dh goes without her she will get the jolt she needs to go next time. he should plan something else on purpose very soon so she can snap out of it before it escalates.
On the 'loner' side of things it sounds like she's a bit depressed? I go mad if I'm on my own too long and crave others company, but at the same time I like my own time too if that makes sense. I've not been much help really sorry, and now I'm waffling. Can you have a word to her dh about planning another night out shortly?

that was (which I haven't had occasion to!)
Must take Rennie to bed now....

ZJ your friend is a little on the extreme side but I do feel where she is coming from and may have been close to that myself at times. I'd give her this one but try to organise something a little smaller maybe you & one other close friend take her out to a quiet place for dinner sometime. I have to admit at times I've felt large groups (anymore than 4) a bit hard to deal with, going from chatting to one small child to a group of adults can feel a bit much. Once she gets out for a couple of quiet nights with a small group she'll feel a bit more herself and be up for bigger things. I can understand her not being comfortable with people other than herself putting DD to bed, but your right it's not healthy she needs to let DH get into it too. That's why we've been getting DH to sort DS2 as much as possible. Esp post 18 months it's not going to hurt them. Not that it ever would.

Oooh, Zoe, that's a tough one, because she obviously doesn't want to change so am not sure how any one other than her DH can apply any pressure. If I am in the country, which I am most of the time, I am a virtual recluse myself, even though I am a very sociable person by nature. I would so adore to have friends close by but equally I love my own company, and don't want to see people who aren't friends just for the sake of it; and I love the company of DD, even though she drives me mad sometimes, she really is my little pal. However, I have left her overnight a few times, and would use a babysitter so much more if I had one near, and am not control freaky about people looking after DD (unless it's MIL ) I think you need to talk to her more and find out what's truly driving this behaviour. If it's just that she is blissfully happy the way she is...not much to be done but it's a bit rough on her DH and this might be tactfully pointed out to her. If her behaviour is because she is acutely anxious - that's different, and she might need lots of reassurance and help to make very very small steps to get out more.

Rubes, I presume you have tried writing all the various combos of names out, including your surname, or typing them out, and peering at them on a piece of paper?

Right, book and bed. Pleeeeeeese let me sleep tonight.

I think I have a bum genius or 2 in my extensive collection. I went a bit reusables crazy with DS1, I think they call me 'a nappy addict on here'. Now I mainly use kooshies or ella's hemp nappies.

Talking about nappies, I have probably 100 or so unused newborn disposables - Boots and a 'green' brand they sell in Waitrose. I have to admit I didn't find them all that good and switched to Pampers - however, nappies costing what they do, I couldn't bear to chuck these out! Are there any clackerettes who got on ok with nappies that weren't Pampers, who want them? I will stick them in the post if so. Otherwise, has anyone got any ideas about a good home for them?

Lady you could always take them to your local GP or baby clinic location as they usually have them in reserve for the baby clinics incase mums forget their nappies. Or to a hospital. The peads wards or the NICU for the older babies or even the maternity unit. I'm not quite sure why but the greenbaby ones don't fit little babies very well the bigger ones are fine but we did have leakage with the little ones.

Beans I have finally posted your little parcel there is a present for Whizz & one for Pru, but they are in the same wrapping paper so I have written on them. Like Lady I used a biro so will have too look out for them. I think it takes about a week to get over there.

Or Lady sell them on eBay. People sell disposable on eBay all the time. In fact you could get some cheap nappies on there.

Hi all,
I am OK, still sleeping lots hence not posting but not as bad as I was...got to go to doctors tomorrow so hopefully get blood test results then. My day off work so just had a nap...nice. Tomrrow is my last day of work - hooooo-ray!
Still stressed out about house buying as well. When we exchange or definitely don't exchange I will be calm enough and less selfish to only be thinking of myself and should be able to come on with a proper catch up.....as for now I am gnawing my fingers to the bone waiting to see if it happens.

Hey Lady what happened with that lovely mirror you wanted to buy?

Mirror - well, after all the messing about and waiting for it to be discounted again, when we measured properly (it is for a specific and rather awkward place in my new bedroom) there is a light fitting jutting out so the Laura Ashley mirror wouldn't fit. I'd looked online millions of times for others but I has something really specific in mind and nothing seemed to fit the bill. Er...then DP found me one for about half the price of the Laura Ashley one in about five minutes so I bought that

SL, good luck for the results tomorrow. I'm off to have my glucose doodah done tomorrow morning before I meet up with Sybs (and whoever). I am on tenterhooks for you about the house sale - such a stressy business at the best of times, must be flippin' unbearable for you at the mo.

Some good ideas for the nappies, Veg. I will see if anyone on here wants them and if not I will either eBay them or see if the John Radcliffe hospital wants them. I would ideally like to give them to someone I know or give them to someone who is short of cash.

I have never eBayed anything before. I am trying to have a bit of a clearout and there is tons of stuff I could flog but not really sure how to go about it and it seems like a pain. Any regular sellers on eBay?

I might join in this Banana Muffin craze that is sweeping the board. I have found a recipe, now I need to see if we've got baking powder and baking soda (and the difference is...?) Three blackening bananas I definitely have I won't put any extra sugar in though.

Hello all, not time for proper catch up as DP away and need to do some work.
Just wanted to say - Lady I have no bicarb so just use a bit more baking powder and they turn out fine. Oh and selling on ebay is really easy, they have some quite simple Q&As on the site. I was a bit nervous before the first time but so long as you make sure the description is accurate and you don't stiff people on the P&P you should do fine. I will be ebay-tastic in the unlikely event that DC2 turns out not to have a willy. (ebaying clothes, not willy).

SL, glad the tiredness is a bit better but hope you get some rest and hooray for last day of work tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you on the house sale. When do you find out?

Zoe agree with the others who said there is nothing you can do if she genuinely is happy how things are but I think just keeping inviting her to stuff and, as Veg said, maybe something short and local first and it could give her a bit more confidence.

Rubs would you be willing to put the name combos to the MN jury?

I also have some over-ripe bananas I didn't throw away so they'd inspire me to 'do a veggie' and get baking! It is a craze indeed, rather like Wheat Crunchies back in the ante-natal days .

zoe Could you offer to babysit for your friend so she can have a night out with her DH? Or go out just the two of you and let her DH do bedtime. It is hard leaving them for the first time and perhaps she feels worried leaving her with a stranger.

summer T'is good to hear from you. House moving is hideously stressful, you have my sympathies.

ladyT You can always use self raising flour instead of plain if you haven't any baking powder. Not sure how bicarb differs but Nigella calls for them both so they must do something!

For all those struggling to sleep I thought I'd share a relaxing, soporific game. I'm sure it is a well known game with a proper name but I only know it as DH's getting to sleep game. It is easier if both of you can't sleep but it can be used alone.

Think of a famous person, e.g. Emma Thompson, then your partner (or yourself if playing alone), chooses another famous name starting with the first letter of the surname, so Terence Conran and then on from there - Christopher Robin, Richard Wilson, etc etc.

You can limit it to literary types, footballers etc. I find it stops me thinking about whatever it was that was churning over in my mind keeping me awake and eventually I nod off. Obviously no cure to proper insomnia but useful for stress induced sleeplessness.

Right back to work...

< Fanfare> Ok, the Giant Banana Muffin is in the oven! I couldn't find a muffin tray so I used a quiche tin and made a giant one. This is big news for me. I am not very interested in cooking and certainly not baking (I don't think I have made a cake since forced to in Home Ec at school) but I jazzed up the recipe and added chopped dates and vanilla essence. DP will FAINT.

I took your advice Spot and used extra baking powder instead. It has baking soda IN it after all. I am so pleased for you about the book! Yay! Any hope of any reviews, do you think? (I know getting any in the event that you are not Gore Vidal or someone is v difficult).

Jolly, that sounds like a really suitable game and I am DEFINITELY going to try it.

The Giant Banana Muffin smells nice already. I am astonished. There are many things I have the non-Midas touch with and cooking is definitely up there. I have no patience with it. Pot plants are another!

It sounds like a 50's B movie "Attach of the Giant Banana Muffin!" - hooray! I am like you Lady, just not that into baking. DCs bake banana bread as we have a great dairy and egg free recipe that we use - and that's it.
Enjoy all your banana products, ladies. MMMMM

It didn't taste as nice as it smelled, sadly. But at least it isn't too sweet and also DP will still be super impressed.

Sounds good to me ladyT, you could always jazz up the taste with some honey drizzed on top served with sliced banana and creme fresh.

Job application in, albeit with the laptop going BONKERS refusing to open things, screens opening black, firefox opening many many windows, arrgh!

Nah, DP is flinging it down his throat as we speak so no need to bother!

Hey, good luck with the job application JB. As for laptops, much like children, they KNOW when it will be annoying for them to play up.

Hello all! Typing this by the pool in glorious sunshine of Jersey. Have had treatments galore and been thoroughly pampered but alas DD still poorly - temp keeps going down then shooting back up again. No other symptoms and DH seems to be doing v well without me but wish I was home now. Not least before my boobs explode Flight has been cancelled so tho I should have been home to feed her and put her to bed I won't be now. My poor poppet keeps asking for her mama...

Ps is there still a meet up tomorrow? Obviously won't come if DD is poorly but if shes better would love to join in