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August 2008: in which we undoubtedly welcome Miniest Oops!

994 replies

CaptainCaveman · 26/05/2010 23:00

come on in and make yourselves at home....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dizzydixies · 09/06/2010 14:05

well done Sazz, I'm positively knackered reading about it maybe you should set up your own cleaning empire seeing as yours have all been so utterly crap?? sorry re insurance - what a pita

Loti - apologies for my less than eloquent outburst earlier, I just get so angry on your behalf - no excuse and I apologise most sincerely

just phoned health insurance who will cover me up to the cost of £390 the MRI is a two part job so it will be £1000 [meep] back into the ole NHS which doesn't bother me as our hosp, from previous experience is excellent, its just the wait that I'm dreading

alittlebitshy · 09/06/2010 14:21

LOTI oh lovely Well done on making that decision.
I do agree that you need to make sure yuo at least have a file of documents (passports, birth certs, any saving accounts in your name/the kids bank stuff) safely stashed before you do anything. If possible make sure that you DO have some money available in case he plays silly buggers. A good idea to set up an account and make sure child benefits and tax credits are paid into that one.

crispy am at what you achieved in 2 hours.

dizzydixies · 09/06/2010 14:24

ALBS, how did you sandal hunt go? I bought the lovely jewelled ones from Tesco for DD2 but her feet were too wide and they duely went back. Have you managed to resolve anything with the lodgers??

poppysocks · 09/06/2010 15:04

Back after a few days catching up with friends/family downs south (ooh and doing some work ) to find you ladies had dropped off my threads and after a good few catch-up sessions I think I'm finally there [phew].

loti - So sorry to hear things have moved from bad to worse but as crispy said, maybe it's good that it's been brought to a head. This may be the kick up the backside he needs to grow up and take responsibility but everyone else is right that you can't rely on that or his basic decency () to be reasonable about a split so good luck gathering the important info and emptying the joint account.

Congrats LNT. I have a 2.5 yrs age gaap and it is just fab. Dealing with toddler tantrums with a large bump as you may remember from two years ago was less fun but its all worked out brilliantly.

So sorry you're feeling and stressed out cc and TS. Sounds like you both have pretty good coping mechanisms though.

with the insurance feckers Crispy. Having received a letter from ours to say that they won't insure us this year because of excessive claims (what, the none we've made ) was put on hold. Gave up after 30 mins of nothing but musac. Called back to be cut off. Twice. .

Sorry to hear of the childcare issues Dizzy and MRI costs. A proxy pony though is fab. All the fun for the girls without the cost and hassle for you.

So pleased DD2 is doing ok now oops.

Back later hopefully! Sorry to all I've missed.

CrispyTheCrisp · 09/06/2010 15:18

Insurance investigators have phoned. They are passing the file back to the insurance company. Apparently they don't make any recommendations, just confirm facts

Poppy - sorry but I LOL'ing at your insurance twats. takes the feckin biscuit. They are now telling me that apparently we should have phoned to let them know we were taking the car out of the country. So glad we were informed of this. oops sorry, shoulda read the small print of the 100 page document......

Fingers x'd for a swift appointment dizz Albs i was pretty amazed too in what i achieved when i set my mind to it. I think the thinking about cleaning is worse than actually doing

DD2 had a very nasty nappy . I think DD1 is coming down with something too as breaking down into tears at the slightest thing

luckoftheirish · 09/06/2010 15:32

Dizzy no need to appologise couldn't be said better IMO.

Crispy wow impressive cleaning please come and do my pig sty of a house hope your girls aren't getting poorly. Dd1 I hope is on the mend but dd2 has started pulling at her ear

thanks once again for all your lovely kind words and advice. I think it will now take a couple of days to get sorted on what you have all advised. Also thinking of sending the kids to the cm for a night in the next few days and have it out with just invade things get unpleasant. A good idea?

oopsandbabycoconut · 09/06/2010 17:11

Crispy - wow on the cleaning front!

DDs and I waited 2 hours for DD2's appointment todat and the doc only had 2 babies to see!! But I hav forgiven her as she was great with DD2 and was lovely to DD1, she had a ITNG magazine for her. She was the same doc who saw DD2 on the ward and remembered us. She has just rung and DD2's blood results are back and clear as is the swab they took from a rash on her neck (suspected StrepB rash). We have been discharged and no more daily poking and prodding- YAY

LOTI - I think doing it whilst DDs areat CM is a good idea, you don't want them to get upset but and arguement thst might follow your request to leave.

alittlebitshy · 09/06/2010 17:18

dizz i got H the buzz lightyear sandals. he loves them. they make his feet a bit sweaty but are ok. unfortunately dd's feet are clearly at that in between child and adult stage and there were none whatsoever in her size (2). i loved the jewel ones, and i think she might have done (though if you say they don;t fit wide feet well, i may feel less grumpy about not getting them )

dizzydixies · 09/06/2010 18:07

oh great news Oops - clever Oops-A-Baby

ALBS - glad you got something for H at least. L still has rather pudgy baby feet so am not sure if that was the problem or not with the jewelled ones

GladioliBuckets · 09/06/2010 18:27

LOTI Good thinking re CM, let him know you want to have a talk that night. In the meantime, just be coldly polite and ask him to stay in the spare room. He should be expecting this if he remembers last night. Could you pop round a friend's tonight with your vital documents up your jumper to keep there? And have a good cry and a glass of vino etc.

alittlebitshy · 09/06/2010 18:57

loti actually what poppy says about emptying the joint account is actually not a bad idea. i don;t mean empty empty it but take enough out that you can be sure of not struggling until he coughs up money to you after the split or you get things sorted financially. Just in case he does do silly things with your access to the account. if it were me i would take the dosh out not long before you have the chat so that he won't realise something is up...

LittleNutTree · 09/06/2010 19:21

Oh loti I really feel for you having to go through all this. It will be hard, but the relief that you'll feel will make it all worth it. I think you've made a very brave decision and the right one too. I agree with leaving the girls with your CM overnight too. It would be best for them not to witness any arguing or unpleasantness as you said. I also think that getting all your documents, etc. to a safe place, as red suggested, is a good idea.

Oops, glad to hear that all is well with DD2 now, what a relief!

crispy, if you do end up buying a car in Aberdeen, as dizzy suggested, please feel to pop in past mine and give my house a bit of a 'Crispy Clean' - (possible future business name?? )

Thanks for all your congrats girls! I'm really chuffed but it doesn't feel real at all - can't remember feeling all this disbelief with DD. Think I'd prepared myself for a long wait ttc based on last time. The baby (mega eek!) should be due the first week in Feb, all being well. My main worry at the moment is about all the new customers I have starting in Aug/Sep (4 Primary 1's and a 10mth old). I plan to work up until mid-Jan, with the school age ones at least, but don't know whether to tell them all now or wait until after my scan. It's selfish I know, but the major risk I run with telling them all now, is them not starting in Aug, so we'd be up the creek in terms of money. I want to give them all as much notice as possible though, as childcare is so scarce round here. I'd rather not tell anyone in RL until my scan, but can't think of what to do!! Any advice? Also, one of the parents starting with me in Aug came to me as the childminder that she'd originally gone with fell pregnant, so really dreading telling her.

dizzydixies · 09/06/2010 19:29

LNT - I'd be one to wait I'm afraid, I've never told anyone about pregnancies (except you lot) until after scans, with the last pregnancy we even waited for a while after that one. It IS a hazard of being in your line of work but I'd still wait.

TwilightSurfer · 09/06/2010 19:50

Lucky taking a little time to prepare yourself is the best thing to do. I agree with the other regarding your documents. Sadly your money situation could become tricky so waiting a month may be smarter. Slowly building up enough to open your own account with enough for a deposit for an unexpected item. Also, be searching the job market for yourself a job. If you establish yourself, build your own bank account, set up the girls with cm then stating "It's Over" will be so much easier for you. That's just my two cents. (((hug)))

LittleNut I would go ahead and let whoever you want to know KNOW that you are pregnant. There's a 50% chance things will go perfectly as expected but then there's the other 50%. You want folks to be there for you good or bad and you want your clients to understand if it's just a morning sickness issue or a stomach virus issue.

Guests are about 2 hours away. 5 quarts of fresh pintos are done and sitting on the stove. 3 dozen cornbread muffins done. 2lbs of beef sirloin tip still cooking in the crock pot. 2 loaves of french bread purchased. 4 gallons of sweet tea cooling in the fridge. A HUGE basket of tomatoes is waiting on slicing or salading. For dessert we have strawberries and watermelon. Reese is napping. DD1 is laying here on the MADE bed with her laptop (just like mommy). OH and the entire house is clean. But just for fun I've left all the clean clothes in their laundry baskets hidden neatly in one corner of my room because I don't want to be consider an "over achiever."

poppysocks · 09/06/2010 21:17

Eek LNT. Trkcy one. I agree with dizzy that ultimately it's nobody's business but yours plus I refuse to believe that the Mums didn't /haven't wondered about you having a DC2. However, particularly if childcare is scarce could you do any work on their behalf in finding out whether other CMs in the area have spaces? Would be massively helpful to them as well as showing you're thinking of their situation as well as your rather lovely one. .

Hooray and phew for DD2 oops.

Do you think you'll head home to Ireland with the DDs LOTI? I only ask as I know that would be my instinct if I found myself in such a situation. It was SIL's reaction too and she got into trouble because her DCs were born and raised in England and she took them to Scotland without their father's permission (which he wouldn't have granted). I was shocked to discover that it could be an England/Scotland issue but as it is, I suspect it would be too England/Ireland.

poppysocks · 09/06/2010 21:22

Forgot to say good luck TS! (And can I have some off-cuts as that nosh sounds delish? )

CaptainCaveman · 09/06/2010 21:28

Hola ladies

loti big hugs to you and I doff my cap to your resolve to make things better for you and your gorgeous girls . I'll be praying extra hard for you for the next few days.

LNT what FAB news, congratulations. I'd wait too like Dizzy. It's not illegal to do so

I just saw the funniest thing on TV!! An advert for a hotel or something but the final shot said laterooms.com dizzy with choice Expanding your empire dizz?

Been to gp today who confirmed I have a fair size patch of alopecia, most likely stress related. Upped my anti-mad meds and is happy with the plans we have put in place at work. Agrees too that I should stay at work rather than going off, as long as I feel able to do this. So lucky to have such a nice gp too .

i'm watching BB (saddo emoticon). Haven't watched the last few years but dh is out so I thought I'd give the opening night a go. Anyone joining me?

OP posts:
pertelote · 09/06/2010 21:36

LOTI just want to add my support and say that I too think it is sound advice to have your own finances safely separate asap. Thinking of you.

Sorry, am knackered and can't remember what else I just read. Hullo to you all, though. I think we have an acceptable offer on the house - going to sleep on it as it came late today, but probably accept. So hopefully all will continue to go smoothly and we will soon be on the move...

Oh yes, congratulations LNT! What exciting news. Don't think you should tell anyone before you are ready.

GladioliBuckets · 09/06/2010 21:56

Oh Cavey, glad GP was helpful and at least it's hat season.

RedLentil · 10/06/2010 00:47

Cavey, sorry you still feel low, but it is fantastic that you are so aware of your own emotional state and have great support to take you through this tricky bit.

Woo-hoo on the offer Pert. We found that an indecisive pause made people increase their offer.

Our West Cork pile is built on fictional London property market money (unlike Callelly's (((joke for the exclusive use of LadyG)))

Loti. Be strong. Think through the implications of every choice you make. Don't rush. Talk, talk and talk again here if you need to.

Must go to bed. Dh v. stressed about marking, building and the exams his students are doing so I'll be glad when we're in the middle of next week.

luckoftheirish · 10/06/2010 07:20

Morning ladies,

Cavey, you are being so strong.. so glad you have an understanding gp and sounds like between you you have come up with a good plan so fingers crossed and thinking of you hugs..

well done pert on the house fingers crossed it all goes well and you are in your new house before long..

TS domestic goddess!!!! hope your guests enjoyed all the effort yoy made for them and remind me to part take in your hospitality!!! ..

glad your hosp appointment went ok dizzy ..

have take all your lovely comments on board and feel that you are all right i need to wait wait wait til i get a plan in action... just want to tell him to get the hell away but know now that it will be a quick rash decision and won't but the needs of the dcs or me first... poppy no will not go back to ireland as have lived away for 14 years and here is my home now iykwim.. also my dad is not the type to person to be be particularly impressed when i tell him ...

thank god for the world cup as my plan is to let him get on with watching it/going out as much as he wants to give me the peace and freedom to get on with things!!!

phew so again for such a meandering post first thing in the morning!! Right who is for a lovely big cup of freshly brewed coffee?

hotterpotter · 10/06/2010 08:33

Hello loti I wanted to say I am sorry it has come to this but glad you have finally realised you will be happier on your own. I agree with others saying make a plan first but don't take too long or you could end up softening again...

Nutty congratulations

Cece oh sorry mate that you are feeling so stressed and your hair is falling out Is not a good time to be away from the immediate front line in the public service apart from normal work pressures. Yay though that you have a good doctor, and a supportive team Plus I'm sure the thought of a northern meet will cheer you

Pert well done on getting an offer! You put me to shame Am now wibbling about moving at all but bad things are a comin' courtesy of Cameron & Osbourne and I am wondering if we are mad remortgaging ourselves when it could all be going tits up

Hello to everyone else , need to go as otherwise will be first in line for the chop

GladioliBuckets · 10/06/2010 14:38

Loti I think all this time he's spent away this year has given you a taste of life without him, hasn't it? Are you going to ask him to stay in the spare room? That would at least alert him to the idea that he'd better start being a bit nicer. Esp with World Cup season, men drink more and apparently domestic violence rates zoom up, so better to have him going to his own room at night. More reason not to finish it completely just yet, just start living separately in the same house. Then it won't be a complete shock to him and also you get to practise negotiating from a less emotional, less expectant place and being independent.

First night of choir rehearsals tonight, have been helping choir leader (BF) with her marketing and admin so I get a free place, yippee!

dizzydixies · 10/06/2010 17:02

someone pass the rescue remedy, I've just agreed to do the cakes for the Dundee LitFest, what was I thinking?!?! >

oopsandbabycoconut · 10/06/2010 17:33

YAY Dizzy - you have made the first step to your amazing new career!