August 2008: in which we undoubtedly welcome Miniest Oops!

[CaptainCaveman]

come on in and make yourselves at home....

Dizzy - I only wish I had had my mum at home doing all the fab things with me that you do with your girls instead of being posted off to boarding school at 6 then later coming home to an empty house and not seeing another soul until 6.30 every evening. |Yes we had loads of fab things but someone collecting me from school and taking me to the park/baking cakes/picnicking in the garden would have been better. It is the one reason I wanted to stay home for the girls - I want to be the mum that everyone wants to go home with at the end of the day!

We went to register DD2 today and then we were conned by DD1! She told me DH said he would take her to the balloon pizza restaurant (Pizza Express) tonight so I said okay and we talked about what we would eat etc. I then spoke to DH who had never promised anything of the sort but we were then stuck as I had told her we were going. I was great to go out with both my girls and DH.

DD2 needs to feed (again) back to catch up soon.

Glads did DD like her tea? Sounded delicious

Dizz have you sorted the thieving gits bank people out?

I have managed to tidy the house, clean the fridge and do two lots of washing this avo. All ready for me to whizz through cleaning tomorrow whilst DD1 is at preschool

Crispy - no not yet as the telephone & online banking is registered in DH's name so they won't discuss it with me, will have to go in your day sounds like a productive whirlwind! I only managed to tootle about, tidy a bit, do some baking, play with D and go to ASDA

Oops - thanks, I had mum at home as she was a SAHM mainly due to ill health and sometimes I wished there was an empty house to go home to don't get me wrong, I've never envied my cousins and I loved having both my parents there but there are times I wish I didn't have to tell DD1 'no' to things that she wants to do - I think whilst having a sense of earning is fine at age 6 I don't think she should be worrying about money just yet!

I was supposed to be having a relaxed evening with Julia & Julia and a glass of vino but D upstairs screaming like something possessed and DH will be home at 10pm (maybe) have been up once already and so help her if I have to go up again

I had no children at all though Dizz, so had to do something constructive! Hope D is settled now? I am going to watch that Tribal Wives prog as was very good last time

oops x-posted with you there - brilliant plan by DD1, i think she is fully aware of new parent exhaustion and is taking full advantage

Wassup TS? Only 3hrs till bedtime

well she's gone quiet and I haven't heard the door slam

Evening! It took me so much less time to read up on what you've all been up to, where is everyone?

Crispy, is the insurance claim that you're referring to, the insurance claim from your holiday??? That was ages ago, how is it still not sorted? Surely it can't take much longer.

Dizzy, I think it's lovely that your girls are getting a pony and even better that you don't have to pay for it, muck it out, etc! As all the others have said, having a loving family who spend lots of time giving you a fantastic childhood, is far more important than having a pony - although it's nice to have a pony as well as all that too I'd imagine! Hope the rest of your evening is quiet!

Wow oops! DD1 is so far ahead of her years, scamming you into getting her pizza! Like her style! Glad DD2 hasn't given you any more scary moments too.

I like the sound of your Crafty Coffee meetings buckets! I'm useless at knitting though, have never got the hang of casting on stitches, yet seem to always end up with more than I started with?? My poor mum must have tried to teach me a million times, she won't even entertain the thought of it anymore! I'm so of your skills!

Hello to anyone I've missed!

Okay, I can't think of a way to put it, so I'll just do the blurting out thing... I'm 5wks pregnant - eek! I have to run away now, scary seeing it here in black and white!!

LNT - YAY congratulations - A Jan baby?

Hurrah LNT, many, many congratulations

Jan babies are just brilliant . Are you feeling ok? Other than the obvious shock LOL

Congratulations NUT! I'd shake pom poms and do some flips but I'm pooped.

Why is the night before guests arrive I have to come up with an idea rearrange the entire guest room? Did all the furniture moving while DH was down the hill fishing because if he'd have known he'd have stopped me. He caught 2 4lbs large mouth bass tonight (if you're interested). He wanted me to share that on FB. What did I tell you! He really needs his own FB page!!!

Anyway, I'm tired and the pintos are too hot to move from the stove so I'll be up in a few hours to pack them into the fridge for tomorrow.

OH did I mention I invited BIL, his wife, and the 3 kids they currently have living with them??? So that's DH's cousin plus 4 and DH's brother plus 4 and our 4....14 for dinner and I have a table that seats 4. LOL!

Night

Morning Ladies,

firstly big congrats NUT so pleased for you..

sorry that you have not been feeling top dollar ts and cece.. exercise is a great stress reliever and cece you boss sounds amazing and very supportive..

TS you need to slow down!!! i get tired just listening to all you do every day .. YOU MUST TAKE AT LEAST 30 MINS to YOURSELF everyday and that is an ORDER!!!..

good luck at your appointment today Dizz, hope they sort your knee out..

Crispy you FB stalker you .. hope you hear back..

oops glad dd2 has been gain lovely weight and as always your dd1 is amazing...

Dublin was ok, went to Dublin Zoo which dd1 loved and dd2 ate her way around, saw some of dad's family and it rained alot..

DD1 now has an outer ear infection in the other ear [sigh] and both still waking up at death o clock..

Have made a big decision re h.. i am going to ask him to leave.. hardest thing i have ever had to do but i cannot continue like this anymore..just need to tell him .. what with his ever increasing social life that makes him come to bed at 1.50am on a work night and being incredibly busy at work
i may end up just saying it to him on the phone.. he is in the spare room atm and have no intention of waking him up.. if he is late for work so be it not my problem..

as always thank you all so much for listening and advicing.. hopefully with this decision made i can become a bit more cheery in my posts and not depressing the hell out of you all

i'm here holding your hand loti

Loti - (((HUGS))) We are here for you if you need us. If there is anything you need in the RL world just let us know and I'm sure one of us will be able to come and help.

We just off to the hospital for DD2's (fingers crossed) last paeds appointment but they have to take blood today and I am dreading it. DD1 coming too as MIL is having her hair done and didn't want to change the day as she is having her nails done tomorrow and they would have clashed!

MrsM - Do you want some Raspberry leaf tablets? I have a bottle I only took 6 out of and I won't be needing them again. I have to say I credit them with my rapid second stage.

Hi everyone else

LOTI Big hugs to you, you are swimming up to the surface aren't you? You deserve a real life where you are the star of your own movie. What a lot of mixed metaphors.

Nutter Congrats! It's so hard to keep it a secret isn't it?

TS Do meals in shifts, kids together first, then adults - means you can have something more sophisticated for grown ups too.

Anyone who is thinking about knitting, there's loads of instructions and diagrams online and Youtube has demos to watch. And everyone is crap at knitting to start with! I'm still crap (v slapdash, lazy and find patterns oppressive LOL) but am really appreciating the mathematical patterns of it all. Gotta find beauty where you can folks, it won't come knocking on your door while you're watching tv.

Loti - have you anyone nearby who can back you up and be with you in person if you're scared of telling him face to face?

A text message is not going to stop there being a face to face encounter at some stage very soon, and it's a very stark way to receive that kind of message.

Before you say anything to him, you need to make sure all your documents (for you and the children) are in a safe place. Make sure you have secure access to money. Copies of mortgage and savings docs.

Will post now and add more later.

Does he know any passwords to your computer / fb account /bank accounts?

Sorry no posts about the huge emotional steps at this precise mo as chaos rules.

Want to make sure you are safe first.

thanks ladies as always ..

red we have a joint bank account atm which i guess we are going to have to change.. he has no access to any of my passwords i don't think..

straw that broke the camels back amongst others was he came to bed at 1.50am last night.. i said it was stupid as he has a really important day at work today and he laughed at me.. about an hour later i heard the tv on downstairs he had forgotten to turn it off.. told him to go and do, he kept refusing and eventually raised his hand to me, i cowered back in the bed and i think he realised what he was about to do and got up... i know i my heart and soul he would never hit me but the fact that he thought about it has crossed a serious and last line with me.

both girls in childcare this am so between biking it [to release tension and massive knot in tummy] housework and dinner making have started making a list of all the things i need to sort out... i am thinking of what you have said red and maybe i need to be more prepared before i kick him out?

Wow.

Nutty I am really delighted for you! It was pretty obvious you wanted another and it is wonderful that the gods have smiled on you. How are you feeling?

LOTI it's so typical of the way you post that you have taken the trouble to reply to so many other people before you mention your own pain and your big decision. It was something I always noticed about No1 too and indicates that you are both people with huge, kind hearts. I think you know you have to do it face to face, and I wish you well with the conversation. A very brave step to take, but you have been unhappy for a while now.

I wasn't too far away from you if you were at the Zoo, we were at the Bloom festival in the Phoenix Park, in the pishing rain.

Crispy hope the insurance fuckwits get their act together today.

dizzydarling good luck at doc x

Am at home today, so I can call you if you need to talk at all ...(fb your number to me if that would help)

That's a line crossed all right. If you start a thread in relationships, the experts (like anyfucker) are really, really brilliant at helping you with practical decisions ...

And huge congratulations to Little Nut Tree.

www.newlook.com/shop/womens/dresses/apricot-lollipop-dress_200126219

Quick advice - handwash in machine? Only respectable thing I own for newspaper photo thing tomorrow

loti you have my boundless respect for making such a hard, yet necessary decision. I would second what Red says about getting all the paperwork etc. in place, if only because it will make it easier for you to state your position and hold it calmly in the face of what will probably be an epic tantrum/pointless rage from your H. Do you have anyone nearby (trusted family or friends) that can be around just in case you need support/back up?

NutTree congratulations, another sapling!

LOTI - am so on your behalf, how DARE he even raise his hand. I'm tempted to say fuck him out on his arse, change the locks and set fire to anything he leaves behind thebastard however others are more sensible than me and are utterly correct in saying that you NEED to make sure you and the girls are sorted first. Much love darling and this is the first step, the relief you feel afterwards will be worth it alone.

LNT - congrats

Oops - best of luck this morning at the hosp, fingers crossed for the last time.

Sazz - any news from the insurance sods?

buckets - loving the knitting tutorial, its on my list of stuff to do and wish I had the time for

Hosp appt was long but ok. I've been asked 4 times today if I am pregnant or there is any chance I could be x-rays taken, hip examined again and MRI to be done. Consultant believes it might be a problem with my back we'll see.

DD1 the happiest child in the world with her new pony and I am going to be the worst mum in the world for bringing her home apparently DD2 been very brave and patted her lol

'fuck him out on his arse' that's some harsh but fair punitive measures you're proposing dizzy

Post-hospital hugs for you ((())) At least it's done with for the moment.

Oh LOTI, so for you but glad in other ways that it has finally come to a head and given you strength to make the heartbreaking decision. You know you and the girls will be better off without him, and who knows, he may even make a better 'part time' Dad?
Stay strong and as Red suggested get a folder full of important stuff - passports/bank details/savings/medical records etc and hide it away. Hopefully he will be reasonable and go and find somewhere else to stay but worth taking precautions in case of something coming from left field which you hadn't expected. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

No news from insurance >>

I found myself very wound up this morning when i decided to blitz the house. Just thought i would see how long it took to do the whole lot (well the amount i asked the cleaner to do). I had started to get concerned i was expecting too much and this was why they kept leaving
Anyhoo, in 2hrs i did everything on their list plus put on & dried 2 loads of washing, hoovered under our bed, and behind the girls (never done by cleaners) and cleaned the cooker hob and wiped cupboard fronts. Oh and looked after a 21 month old (who to be fair was very good).
Seriously, i was so pissed off that so called 'professional cleaners' can manage to do 20 minutes or so less than i, a mere accountant, can manage

Bless DizzyDoll and her new pony and DixieDestruct being brave . At least you have a whole new set of bribes and sanctions LOL. Crap re hozzie though - can they get you for an MRI quickly?

Red, i just washed DD1's sparkly party dress which said 'cold machine wash only' or 'preferably dry clean' on a 30 degree wash and it was fine. I did stop it before the spin cycle though and hung it up to drip dry