November '09 and the months are flying by, our 3 month plus troop, and us, the knitted boob group!

[SirBoobAlot]

New thread, we chat so much!

Sirboob I just read that thread. I hope you're ok? People can be harsh, but none of us knows what your relationship is like, so I hope you take any unfair comments with a pinch of salt.

FWIW, I don't think this is really something you can help DP with. He has to get over any resentment on his own. What could you do?
Is it something he's said often or just this once? It is such a stressful time at the moment, I think it's quite possible he's casting around for blame. It's what we all do when we're stressed. The thing is it is so unhelpful, to both of you, for him to be dwelling on a decision that was made so long ago and which can't exactly be changed. It is just completely irrelevant to your lives now. I hope he sees this.

Trikken DH and I have had similar arguments that always leave me fuming. I do a very good impression of doing little, apparently! In some ways I also think it would be easier to be the one who went out to work and came home to a clean house and a cooked dinner, or even a messy house and no dinner. Must admit I am a very angry tidier though

Scarlotti Hope you got some more sleep last night. Sorry to hear that DH is still not helping out. At least, could he do the 10pm bottle feed so that you can go to bed early? I go to bed ridiculously early sometimes - basically as soon as both DCs are asleep - you do feel like a bit of a toddler, tucked up in bed at 8pm, but it's definitely worth it.

Come on girls, let's not let these men ruin our special Mother's Day weekend! We should be celebrating what fantastic women and mothers we are and basking in our all-round glory!

Forgot to say, is there a 14 week growth spurt? James is feeding like it's going out of fashion. The poor boy feeds for an hour then looks up at me, what do you mean there's nothing left?

laugs yes, I think there is, Reuben did this for several days In fact sometimes I think at 15 weeks he is still going through it!

Sleep last night.

8:45pm (me 9:30pm) - 2:45am. Wake for an hour or so with cough, so I dose him up with nasal spray, calpol, olbas oil
3:45am - 7:45am!!! (me 3:45am -6:15am. 6:30am-7:45am).
8:30am - ? me. Bloody awake as DH refused to take him to the shops with DD, despite me asking, and despite him being fed so would have been fine, and asleep.

Do you know what he actually said, when I asked him if he wanted to take his boy with him? 'like a hole in the head' Am I making too much out of that statement? He thinks I am.

Thank you, ladies. I didn't want to bother you all with my moaning again He has said it several times, which in a way is a good thing, in that he's being honest with me. But we had a flaming row last weekend and its still upsetting me.

Next time I will bore you all again I think - I should have learnt last time about posting on there!!

I meant to say YEY!!!! I got some sleep! I feel worse than I did yesterday though, like I could do with another 3 hours!

sirboob have not read the thread, only the last couple of posts on here. But I agree that you must come and share your woes with us ladies. It is what we are here for. And moan away. I do enough of it! You need to be able to vent and we are able to help you go through that with support. x

I had a humungous argument with DH earlier this week. It upset me and hurt me so much, i have not even been able to post about it. It left me reeling, has changed things for us I think, for me certainly and I am still so upset about it, it is tainting things now. So i know how hard it is when the hurt lingers from an argument.

oh and can I ask some advice, as normal eh? slightly smelly breath, fussing on the boob, stuck smelly farts, very very watery stools...could it be a cold/bug that is making Reuben's mucous worse?

Thanks Pavlov soory to hear things are rough for you at the moment too x

And no advice, but sounds like whats going on here too, so will be watching!

sirboob I despair, looking at that other thread!! They're well and truly on a bandwagon now. I agree wholeheartedly with BBL re mental maturity. You're much more mature than the average 18 yr old. Please don't listen to that bunch. You ok?

pav hope all is ok x

SirBoob I hope you don't mind me butting in on your other thread but grrrrrr I feel so angry at some of those comments! People can be just utterly blaaaa sometimes (see I can't even find the right words I am so mad!)

Thanks DWB, Scarlotti and BBL for your support. And no I don't mind, I really appreciate it. I feel a bit ganged up on to be honest. Some of those comments are totally out of line, am quite shocked by how personal some of the attacks are getting... And yes, I think I'll stay away from it now.

I agree, Sirboob, vent on here instead. Read the other thread and just couldn't believe some of the comments. We may not have all the answers for you, but at least won't pretend to pass absolute truths on a basis of a few paragraphs. I hope you're OK.

Sorry to hear about others having problems with blokes, too, but as Laugs said, don't let it spoil the weekend. Celebrate this wonderful event we've been through. I stiil sometimes can't believe that I'm a mother now.

Happy Mother's Day everybody!!! xxxx

AHHHH I never bloody learn do I?? Next time could someone please read my mind and post saying "DON'T DO IT, SIRBOOB, DON'T DO IT!!" when I am thinking about posting in relationships.

goes off to swear loudly

Boob no virtual person is going to be able to properly advise or support you on your relationship as they can only talk in the abstract and don't know the whole picture. Having said that, sometimes a stranger looking in can offer an insight purely because they are detached. MNers are very judgey judgey at times and I think some of them on that thread are being quick to label things the way they want to see them. But I think others at the start of the thread did want to support by offering their perceptions.
I agree with Laugs his resentment is for him to sort out on his own, how are you supposed to make him unresentful, when you can't turn back the clock and wouldn't want to anyway?
On honesty, it is v good to have honesty in a relationship... to a point. Sometimes I say to dh 'well, I just wanted to be honest', casting myself as a good guy becuase honesty is good, right? but in actual fact being 'honest' is only helping me, not him, because it is allowing me to say something horrid or get rid of my anger in a completely self-indulgent way under the guise of being a good, honest person. Actually, there are some things and some feelings it's probably better not to share, especially about things that can't be undone.

Anyway, I hope you have a really good weekend.

SirBoob link not judging just want to be on the safe side. You are a strong, independent woman. You will be fine. DP will have to resolve his own emotions but there is a whole bright happy future ahead for you and Bryn to explore xxx

SirBoob that thread has made me boiling with anger all day, so I can only imagine how you feel. I have been thinking of all the clever things I need to say to those women who think they can sum up your life (anyone's life) in a pithy sentence, but there is probably no point. They are happy to judge from the distance of anonymity. I agree with Wook that there was some good advice on there before it all got nasty.

Anyway, I will try to read your mind if you promise to read mine and stop me from drinking gallons of coffee after no sleep. I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack, which is what always happens when I do this. I never learn. Off to try and sleep it off.

thats how i've been feeling about the thread too laugs, you summed it up a lot better than I ever could.

hi just bookmarking - hope you're all well

I posted and deleted and posted and deleted and posted and deleted on that thread! In the end i just offered some support to you sirboob.

I've just skimmed twelve pages trying to catch up - we've had sinus infection, norovirus, mastitis, and yet more norovirus over here. Either me or DS 1 has been sick for about a month continuously now, and DS 2 just isn't sleeping - he's waking to feed four times a night. (On the bright side, I've finally lost all the pregnancy weight - let's hear it for violent vomiting.) I know that four months can be a tricky time as it's when they really work out that their mother is a separate person, but I need him to get to five months SOON. I am thinking of sleep-training him at five and a half months, which should coincide with our move to the US.

Eczema on the face - Lush does a lotion called 'Dream Cream' with loads of camomile which is really light with only 1% preservatives. It's great on baby cheeks, and you can usually ask the salesgirls for a sample pot before you fork out for the lot.

I'm impressed that some of you (Scarlotti..?) are starting with the solids already - I'm putting off the evil day when I have to start spooning purees into a flailing child for as long as I can. DS 1 flatly refused to have much truck with solids until he was 10 months old, and so I wound up weeping and wailing and chucking out loads of lovingly-hand pureed organic mush.

The baby has just cheerily been sick down the back of my jersey - which is, of course, handwash only. Gnnh. I don't know why I ever climb out of pyjamas.

Tamlin poor you with all the illnesses. I feel for you. Norovirus is my worst nightmare esp. as I have a bit of a sick-phobia. We've got chicken pox (even Toby has it now but just three spots) but that is bearable compared to D&V in my opinion!

Tamlin hope you all feel better soon.

wowee some of those posters are unreal, glad none of them made it to nov antenatal thread! prob 80 year old men

soo mothers days tomorrow...lie in till midday, breakfast of crossiants, chocolate and freshly squeezed orange juice....oh yes one can dream...however am going to me favourite restaurant in the world which very sadly is pizza express!!

right now baby is on bottles i have fallen back in love with vino so off for some nice chilled white

happy mothers day!

oh tamlin where in US? are you from there? is dh from there? Is it a permanent move? I am trying to persuade dh that we should go for a year, he is a US citizen but he stalls...shame. i LOVE california and the family are there.

Aveeno skin cream is great. I use it on the babies head as all others seem to inflame his scalp.