October 08 - Got ourselves some crying, talking, sleeping (sometimes!) walking, living dolls.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Well somebody better start the new thread, so might as well be me!

No stats this time .

At risk of being frowned at I think that if you were going to have another baby you may well have gone for it by now!
Also you are just beginning to come out the other side of a very hard 18 months.
Following M birth any new pregnancy would be a very medical affair. I know that my friend who also nearly bled to death was very strongly advised to never get pregnant again because the bleeding could happen earlier and be catastophic.

Can I ask why the need for a Hys?
You could insist on a vaginal op and that your ovaries are left intact. So less, ahem, dryness, and no premature menopause.

Obviously I meant catastrophic

Also I have had to give myself a really big talking too.
I have been thinking recently that I would love to be pregnant again. Note I want to be pregnant, not have another baby!!!

Ask yourself the question.
Do you want another child or do you want to be pregnant?

Ronshar - No, I'm definitely not frowning at you! I am totally convinced the ONLY reason I am even thinking about it is because the hys issue has been raised again. We had completely decided against having another baby and nothing else has changed. I can't leave my remaining ovary intact as it is that which is the risk to me! They type of cyst I had has a higher chance of recurrence than the more common type and is also more prone to spreading. This is one of things I need to speak to the gyn about.

Gah. I was going to write more but I have to go and sort ds out. Now his behaviour of late would be enough to put anyone off ever having more children!

To add on to Ronshar's post.
Ask yourself

Do you want another child, teen, adult or do you want another baby?
Baby stage goes quickly, then you've got many many more years to follow.

Oh love. It must be so hard trying to deal with this.
I can only imagine what you are going through.
When do you see your Gyn doctor?

Star you are perfectly correct of course.

Ekka I am on a thread in the allergy section with a lady who is weaning her 1 year old DD from exclusive BF to a wheat, egg, and dairy free diet.
As I am crap at food etc could you find the time to come over and make some suggestions regarding meals etc. That would be really lovely.

I only say that because although I'd like to bypass birth or have a cs, I'd love to have another baby. Babies forever... and toddlers. But the reality when they get older... the expense (I know this is silly but we worry so much about that!!)
And I have friends with 3 or 4 older kids... It's hard work and very expensive, too. It's just something that suits some families more than others. I don't think it suits ours. Maybe 2 - in a few years I'd consider that perhaps... but not 3 for us.
Not saying there is anything wrong with having 3 or more kids. Just that it suits some families and not others.

Ronshar - sorry its a bit late - will try and find the thread!

Star, I'm with you on the expense thing, that may be what puts us off having another....

Thank you all.... I really honestly don't think I actually WANT another pregnancy/baby/toddler/child/teenager/adult, I think it's just a panic reaction, like, although I don't really like steak, if someone said to me "you can never ever even think about having another steak for the rest of your life", I would probably think "ARGH!!! I want a steak!". If nobody said that to me I would probably happily never have another steak for the rest of my life. I know I am going to miss M as she is and that sweet little newborn stage but it's more a case of wanting to halt time than add to the family iyswim. The expense issue is a huge factor too. I love shopping far too much to reign it in for the sake of having another baby. I think we are pretty happy now with the idea of stick with the two monsters little darlings we have already. I would have serious doubts about M's ability to cope with not being the baby, I think we would have problems with her & it wouldn't be fair on her. DS would carry on the same I'm sure. My problem now is that I want to put all this crap behind me and get me back. I have lost a fair bit of weight so I'm looking more like myself again. But, I feel my progress will be limited until i get the hernia fixed. I also do NOT want the face the possibility of a cyst recurring in the other ovary & putting DH through all that again. Having the hernia repair is going to be pretty much the same op as having the cyst removed so it is major abdominal surgery again! I am wondering whether it is best to dispose of the risk of recurring malignancy and get two major ops over in one go. Gah! I feel like I am going in circles.

Aubergenie - From what I have managed to find out, if I did have a hysterectomy then I would immediately be given HRT to prevent me from being plummeted into surgical menopause. I need to find out for the gyn how effective it is and what could possibly happen. But yes, it is a worry. DH was unimpressed when I mentioned loss of libido (not that I'd notice I'm sure! ).

Ronshar - Don't worry, if you mention TTC I'll get a social worker and a pysch round to you straight away and have you detained under a civil section for your own safety. Oh and seeing the gyn in May, though I might request an earlier appointment, I am planning to make him feel very guilty about the rubbish job he did at sewing me up!

Star - I still think in a couple of years you'll be ready to have another one.

50ft - but you could always travel to another area and adopt a steak from another farmer... then you could have your yummy steak if you changed your mind and decided you needed that steak... I've confused myself in your analogy...

Hee hee Star! I know what you're getting at.

Myjob - The thing is, I do know what I want (to sort my escaping guts out), but it's the unknown element! I don't want to leave it for years, the bobbly bit does nothing for my self-esteem, but having a hys is SOOOO drastic and I was said to you privately, I've only just bought my sodding mooncup!

Oh hell 50ft, you don't have an easy time of it do you? I agree with what Ronshar said (and some of the other ladies). The gut reaction to have another is totally perfectly natural and I bet 90% of women having a hysterectomy have that thought. I guess it's a bit like stopping BF, you know it's right for your LO but you're still irrationally sad about it, esp if it was your last baby (altho obviously your decision is far far more impt!!). When you didn't think you were having a hysterectomy you were settled on having 2 so I think you should strongly bear that in mind when making your decision. I also think you've kind of decided what to do and I think it's more important for you to get your body sorted out so you can really enjoy your time with your LO's and your DH without having the thought in the back of your mind all the time of the looming hysterectomy in X years. That's my thoughts anyway, for what it's worth!! Oh and if you find my libido while you're looking for yours, can you let me know?

I'm actually in London tomorrow now, near St Pauls in the morning and Canary Wharf in the afternoon, any good for anyone??

I've not had a good 1-2 days from a PND point of view, in fact I was driving home from work last night thinking I just want to go to the docs and get a sick note. I've had a client meeting this afternoon that I was worried about tho and it went well, plus I've come on in the last few days so it's probably that (again) altho I usually get the moods before the period rather than during... Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better now, I'll see how I get on.

Oh and can you all let me knnow what you're doing for a bedtime routine now, just out of interest?

Oh and if anyone does happen to be able to meet in London, can you send me a message on FB just in case I go to bed soon? I'll check FB on my crackberry on the train.

Oh oh and I had to turn over One Born after 5 mins last night, it was just too hard to watch

Hmm, bedtime routine has just changed tonight as we (well I, dh is out this evening) are trying ds in his sisters cotbed, so she has moved onto the single bed in his room. I may be slightly mad, I know!
But, basically the routine goes as follows:

• 6.30ish watch ITNG or other short show, with cup of milk;
• upstairs to clean teeth/get into PJs;
• stories for both dcs;
• M into bed & I sing to him then leave him to go to sleep while I go and read another story to dd and sing to her.

Hopefully by the time I've finished singing to dd, ds is either asleep or nearly there. If not I have to go back in to him and settle him again.

• 7.30/8pm downstairs with BIG glass of wine

Luckily ds didn't realise he could climb out of the bed tonight, so he just wriggled till he was the wrong way round and fell asleep. I'll report in the morning on how the night goes.....

50ft, I would agree with the others that you should probably stick with your previous feelings. But I have to say that I would probably feel exactly the same as you if I were in your shoes. It sounds as if there isn't any immediate rush, so at least you can take a few months to think things through and come to terms with whatever decision you make.

aubergenie is near canary wharf i think, so is your most likely candidate I expect, although I have no idea which days she works!

Bedtime routine for us is bath for the both of them together, then dried and dressed. Then I offer a feed to ds but he's mostly either had one earlier or isn't too bothered and just bobs on and off for a bit whilst messing about. We might offer a cup of milk too if dd is having one, which he'll half-heartedly have a few sips from. Then it's teeth clean time, followed by getting into his sleeping bag. Then he has a cuddle in his room from either dh or I, and then gets put down and we leave the room. Sometimes he goes straight off and sometimes he babbles for up to half an hour or so before settling (but he doesn't get out of bed).
And of course some nights are like tonight where he came down after his bath, ate some plain rice leftover from tea, got his broom out and swept whilst I did, disappeared into the playroom to rearrange the manic martians and stayed there until we went to get him to go up for teeth cleaning and bed .

Oh yes, we did go through a phase of ds joining in with dd's story up in her room, but it was getting a bit mental because he wouldn't keep still and pay attention, and just trashed the room or tried to grab the book, so we've ditched that for the time being.

Ha ha CSWS, good to see you have a religiously-followed routine going on!

We stopped bathing Poppy every night around the time I went back to work (Jan), we only do it 2-3 times a week now. So bath at 7 then on the bed in her nursery at 7.30 to 8 for storytime and teeth, then milk sitting on our knee and in her cot then let her go off to sleep with her cuddly toy. She has LOADS of milk, about 3/4 of a pint!! Might start giving her a piece of toast or something, but should I do that before bathtime or after??

I'm off to bed anyway. Aubergenie or anyone else, if you're up for a meet-up let me know. I have a meeting at 3-4 in Canary Wharf, but otherwise my day's pretty liquid. If I dont hear from anyone by 9am I'll try to arrange to meet another friend from London. Night all!