January 2009- Help! A toddler ate my baby!

[hackneyzoo]

I told you it was a lame title.....

teeny tiny babysuits Dog!!!! Oooooooh! I got the Frugi catalogue in the post and their little suits are so lovely, I feel like H is a teenager when I see them! How exciting! Wonder what you'll have, will you find out? I dunno if you did with the smiler?

I have a 3ft pile of ironing. Worse than that, I have a 2ft pile of clothes to put away. Urgh.

Sick everywhere. Back soon. Got your fb msg Tree and replied but think my phone ate it. Good luck for tomorrow will msg once can sit up. This has been a week of disaster... Heating, rodents, dh away and now vom. Apologies if missed anything major. Much love.

dog - exciting

tree - very organised

tree good luck - you must be just about to leave - I was simply dreading going back to work too but ended up loving it, so hope you find the same .

Lenni sounds awful! Wish we were nearer to help mop up sick while DH away...

gumps poor you - must be so utterly painful to sit outside the door listening to him cry - hope it's better tonight. My heart really goes out to you.

dog love frugi stuff too but so ridiculously £££. How exciting to think you will have a teeny weeny little baby before long.

Just got my second AF today (45 days after first one) so despite mammoth bf-ing every 3 hours or less still, it looks like there is no stopping the return of the bloody thing... am now totally torn about whether to go for no 2 already. Am mainly thinking, if we waited another year, we could all go skiing next year, N included. Then would be just less than a 3 yr age gap... but would be 37 while ttc, 38 by birth..

Anyway, maybe these things are best left unplanned....

I went riding today! Glorious day, sunny and clear. Tried t do housework in the morning but N was determined not to let me. THen OH turned up on the lawn with a friend, and I swapped baby for horse and rode back to the farm. Lovely to be out and baby-free.

Burritos for dinner... yum but must go and cook them.

All in bed now, myself included, had a read through.

Gumps - hope things better tonight. Am with you on the lack of sleep making you grumpy with DCs/DH, I'm the same, try to be civil but sometimes DH does get it I'm afraid

Dog - When were you thinking of for camping? Would be a mammoth expedition from here but I'm up for it especially if coincides with one of the weekends DH away in the summer - which is loads! You are going to be proper preggers by then though, will you cope?

MissJ - I had the same issues with skiing and age gaps! Madness when I think about it now, but at the time I was desperate to go. We haven't been for about 6 years now with weddings, children etc. TBH from listening to friends who have been since they had children at the same time as I had DD they weren't able to ski much unless they used the ski school/creche all day and I'm not sure you would want to do that. Also a lot of them said if they were going to go again they would either take turns to ski or leave DCs at home with GPs where they would be happier. A ski instructor I spoke to recently said 5 was the ideal age to start skiing as they were usually confident to be left in ski school then and picked up skiing quicker, but she did take 4 year olds too. DH and I decided today we would go next year for a few days on our own and then take DD the year after and either leave DS here or take him and take turns to take DD out in the afternoons and one of us stay in the resort with DS. Best solution would be to hire a chalet, take non skiing GPs with you and then they could babysit during the day and you'd get amazing chalet food! Unfortunately snowy holidays are worst nightmare for my PILs and my Mum is a teacher and far too pricey in half term. Anyway I digress, I was going to say if it were me I would just go for it with ttc and see what happens, you never know what is around the next corner.

Back in a bit... going to lose my tesco delivery slot if don't finish it soon...

MissJ - Just re-read my last post and am now worried that sounds like I'm suggesting you are mad, which I'm not at all just feels like my madness now that DS is here and I contemplated waiting for him to go skiing iyswim.

After no teeth for ages he is getting 5 through today - talk about teething! He is amazingly cute atm though, this really is the best age - now until stroppyness is when they are all yours. Then they get attitude.

Tink - How was the film? Am desperate to take DD to that.

Lenni, I've just had genius idea, let's go skiing together and then we can take turns looking after DCs! Come and stay first though before we commit to a week together ... totally understand what you are saying, and of course 'tis madness and nothing else to think of delaying ttc just for a week skiing! But I guess that week sort of stands for everything else, all the freedom that having just one LO gives you, iyswim... am just having such a lovely time with him. I think at my age tbh I can't contemplate actually using contraception, so will just relax, forget about it, and see what happens... but am serious about ski trip!

ps I am a crap skier before you get too excited. Very much about cruising around and stopping for plenty of vin chaud

Help,ok anyone around???

Advice: should I risk a massive blow-up with DH by commenting on his behaviour this weekend or just bite my lip and ignore for the sake of the quiet life???

Basically he has worked, LOADS this week and has bought home a bit of work to do at the weekend (as have I). anyway he was really 'hands-off' with the kids when my family were here and hardly spent any time at all with them. well since they left yesterday he hasn't improved, he doesn't play with them or seem to enjoy them much at the moment and its really upsetting me. On a functional level he got up with them this morning and did breakfast whilst I had half an hour lie-in (yup, a whole half hour!). He took DD to tescos this morning whilst I did some housework and helped me cook lunch/ate with us. So i guess he is not totally absent but I just feel he is not really 'with us' at the moment. When he is sat looking after DS he is constantly on his iphone/reading the paper/watching football and not really interacting with him.

does this sound like I'm being a bit unreasonable and really he may just be tired/stressed

tree-hope all goes well for tomorrow, that is super organised!! I just bung mine in some clothes, shove them in the car with a few crumpets and then deposit them at nursery on a monday.

Lenni- agree this is the best age, I love the fact that DS still 'looks' like a baby too, gonna be really upset to say goodbye to that tubby tummy and chunky baby legs.

MissJ- think you have decided for youself. Remember you have another 9mths at least with just you and N, loads of time to soak him up!

Dog- getting exciting now!!!! I cringe at the thought of the amount of washing in your house with an extra(soon to be two extra!) child than me. I do a load every day as it is and I hate it!!

Anyway, must finish schoolwork, which sucks..............(took some time off to watch Glee and the wedding singer, am regreting that now as am knackered!)

Hi pat, its very grr when DHs go all distant with the dcs. Maybe tackle ti from the 'Is everything ok or are you stressed at work cosa I noticed you haven't interacted much with the dcs of late' or something like that. Mind you I alway do softly softly as DH always sulks if I have a go (not that that stops me )....and I am a conflict avoiding wimp. Just be honest and say its upsetting you...I guess you can't really go wrong if you are honest about how his behaviour is making you feel. You are def nbu.

All you skiers if any of you ever want to stay in a lovely chalet in switzerland (3 bedrooms plus childrens rooms) in a very child friendly resort message me. (My lovely big sister has a chalet she rents out very reasonably if anyone ever wants it (she doesn't advertise it as she goes there a lot but is happy for others to use it) Brigels

Oh dog, am feeling super soppy hearing talk of your DC4. I love a baby surprise, DD was a surprise, DS was too (sort of...I did notice his willy at the 20 wk scan waving about but kept it quiet)

Tree big hugs for tomorrow...am very impressed with your organisation, you even inspired me to make DDs lunch and lay everyone's clothes out for the morning.

Stripey where have you gone? Hope all is well with you and C.

Elkie, how were your mum's results? Hope you are ok too.

Feeling slightly more human now but have that work in the morning feeling in the pit of my stomach and mahooosive eye bags so am going to aim to be in bed before 11 so I don't look to scary in the morning. Have just finished reading 'The Little Stranger''(highly recoomend it), it was a really spooky story and I keep waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about it and freak out when I am doing J's feed, so am about to start a much more sensible book. (Am such a wimp when it comes to ghosts/horror etc) Was wandering if anyone fancied doing a book swap as I read quite a bit and would definitely be up for some swapping...will post a list on here if anyone is interested.

Pat

Your dh sounds like he's been being a bit like my dh has recently. I sat down quietly with him and explained that, whilst he is helpful in certain 'practical' ways and I do appreciate that, I feel that he is emotionally absent a lot of the time and isn't investing himself in the family. He of course denied it at first and was a bit defensive, but when he'd had time to think about it he agreed that he'd been so wrapped up in work and other stresses that he was really just running on autopilot. He has been quite a lot better since, although he still has his moments (well he is a man after all).

I'm glad that we talked, as if we hadn't I think my grievances would have festered and I'd have ended up exploding at him. I understand that he is tired and stressed, but then he's not the only one and we are meant to be a team. So, I think maintaining a dialogue about this sort of thing is really important, as long as its done in a conciliatory, non-accusatory sort of way iyswim.

Its just my way/thoughts, but hope that's helped a bit.

morning

my mum is over today

bringing over little people for bracken that dd1 had, clarks shoes that dd1 had to sort through and other pieces to look @.

we went skiing in a big chalet with my parents and 20 ithers when dd1 was 18 mnths it was a nightmare!!

pat - my dh is stressed alot of the time he is more of a solitary individual.
just have a chat like mm suggests gr8 idea

miss j - n.o 2 sounds exciting
definetly worth it

hi to all

good luck tree

I can't complain about dh, he is very good with the kids and helps loads with the house. He can't manage them both on his own very well though, he gets pretty stressed. I do sympathise with those having festering issues, we all need a kick up the backside from time to time. DS still ill and I've been sick again so trying to lie down/clean diarrhoea/entertain DD simultaneously and failing miserably.

Hope today goes well Tree, will email you later about nappy etc.

Oh Lenni, poor you and ds. Its awful when you're ill and have to look after the little ones, let alone them being ill as well. How about Dog's cinema idea, just cuddle up in bed or on the sofa with a dvd or two or three?

Tree, have been thinking about you all morning, hope its all going ok. ((hugs))

Books, definitely worth making time for 'the chat' festering is so not good for you and you deserve some support.

Thanks guys, he was in bed when I went up last night so didn't really chat and then this evening was usual chaos of getting in at 5.30pm/snack/bath/pjs/stories/feed so no chance as yet.

He is now currently seeking out the car documents as he has realised that the MOT on his car is 2 days late [whoops] and he also had a massive nosebleed in a meeting at work today, so I think I can safely say he is stressed. I think I'll make him a nice dinner and a glass of wine and then ask him if all ok later. I have calmed down a lot now anyway. thanks moose/books/HZ for all your advice.

Lenni- hope you are better soon, must be hard if DD bouncing of the walls. DVD aplenty tme I feel

Tree- hope all well today x

Books- woah, that is a LOT of hours your DH does!. I know what you mean about bins, this is a big bugbear in our house too, he is crap at remembering and ours come really early in the morning. But, if I remind him just once he gets in a strop and accuses me of nagging. I have resorted to mainly doing it myself since we moved here (along with pretty much everything else!)

HZ- I am well up for a book swap. I have thousands of books here. 'Little Stranger' sounds great. Reminds me that I must post a book to 120 that I had forgoteen about

hello everyone, sorry for being a bit MIA but have been feeling a bit dull, nothing to reportish, you know? i think it's just the doldrums before spring - vivid dreams, and general wistfulness about sunshine....

tree, hope your first day at work went okay, must be amazing to plunge back into that i know it's probably hard and long hours and all, but also, wow, all those tiny new people...

hkz, glad j had mri and hope the results come through soon.

lenni sorry to hear about vomiting, hope it has subsided

pat, glass of wine and chat, moose is right about the dialogue (i am the one in this house who tends to fester and has to be called out for negotiation with dp...)

missj - i was 39 when c was born, so it's not like it's necessarily impossible, but i suppose for some people it might be, depends how badly you want to go skiing i guess!

i confess i was kind of disappointed by the little stranger...

ok, got some kind of flu coming on (kids are going through it at the mo) and am off to bed with my laptop to make a concerted effort to catch up.

Hi Stripey...fear not,spring is around the corner. The ending of the Little Stranger is a bit...well....I don't want to ruin it!

So Pat, do you want to do a swap? Other books I have to swap are...The Scotland Street series by Alexander Mcall Smith, Adam Foulds, The Truth about these Strange Times, The Children's Book by A S Byatt,The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Moshin hamid...there's a ton more, will do a proper list (a independent bookshop opened up round the corner last year and it's been my downfall...)
Hope chat goes ok with DH, he does sound stressed by work.

And as for bins...I drive DH mad with my laziness about putting bins out...definitely his job, along with the washing...unfortunately that means I get stuck with all the putting away (generally have large piles of once clean clothes festering on the spare bed until they are worn again ) I detest housework.