June 2008: New Year, new thread, new names, new words, new goals, but no resolutions!

[abdnhikinginawinterwonderland]

New thread since the last one's at 997 posts...

This one wasn't that young - about mid-twenties I'd say, perfectly legal and eminently shaggable !

Ah good news you got out.

Amber glad you are coping under circs and think a wait is a good plans.

Thread title given it's nearly Easter - keeping little hands off mum"s cream eggs.

Bit knackered as trying to finish work pre hol next week and having dh not around a lot not helping my energy levels.

Hi to everyone else- intrigued re this car seat thing neenz - got a link?

Yes, I noticed it's a bit quiet but I've actually not got anything much to say. Doing work (dull), doing some studying (dull), generally ticking over with no major dramas (good but dull because nothing to report!) I mean, there's lots and lots of major drama every day in HE at the moment, but that's in the papers. And compared to the banking crisis/earthquakes/whatever it's pretty dull really! (But HE is on its knees and it's hard to see how things can continue.)

Actually Iestyn's been a bit out of sorts and has gone to bed early. But you never know - he can be like this one evening and be right as rain in the morning.

DH's birthday tomorrow and he's going to be here.

Poppy Neenz has a link on the previous page, but it's a bizarre clip on thing which gives you 3-5 seats in the back of a normal car, turning it into, well, a minibus!

I think Poppy's thread title is good. I'm getting a creme egg tonight - DH is hopefully bringing one. I've actually got a tummy ache (strange because I never get tummy aches) but I'm ignoring it because I feel fine otherwise. Maybe that's what Iestyn has.

God, that was dull!

LOL at Essie having nothing to say, and then writing quite a long post .

Similarly, all is quiet here. We have had two lovely days so far this week: my prayer for sunshine and spring weather was answered.

Dull here too, but a rough couple of days - B still not well. I was sitting with him this morning, deliberating whether or not to take him to nursery, and he provided the answer by puking all over me. I'm so lucky in that I have such an understanding boss - she lets me work from home, she's fine about me taking time off, etc.

I'm mega pissed off with DP though. He was working tonight, and going out afterwards - if it had been the other way round, I'd have cancelled - but no. And he hasn't even called to see if B is ok. TBH, I feel we're in a bit of a mess. I don't feel he gives me any support, or that he even cares any more. He does what the fuck he likes, and I just feel he takes the piss. I'm not going to bore you all, or work myself up, by writing it all down, but something has to change in our relationship. I'm trying to think of good reasons, or any reasons, to stay together, and I can't

Sorry for self-centred post.

Essie (I'm glad you're Essie again!) yes, those 'winning' biscuits were v poor. I'll give yours a go on my next baking day.

Amber, glad you are feeling positive - I hope you've got some nice things planned for yourself over the next few weeks.

bugger , so sorry you're feeling so bad about your relationship right now. Have you talked about this yet, or is this all going in your head right now? Hope you can work out a way forward . . . .

Quick post as S is screaming and we all need to get some sleep, but bugger email me if you need to vent some more x

bugger sorry that things are crap at the moment. I hope it's just the whole parenting balance thing - we're still dealing with that although it's getting better as my DH is starting to realize that I'm the one making all the compromises. I know my DH cares though, he's just taking advantage of my support.

I did get upset with him the other day. He thinks he's a perfect dad because he spends all his weekends with the kids and when he's home, he's around. I was having a bad mother moment and mentioned to him that I was feeling like I wasn't doing a good job, and the idiot sat down and started analytically going through my day to see "how I was doing". I pretty much exploded at him... I know I'm sometimes a distracted mother and that I can be impatient, but I'm going slightly insane from not being challenged intellectually and this is honestly the best job I can do parenting (and I do feel it's better than the boys were getting in nursery so since that was the other option, I guess it's as good as they'll get). Anyways, there's no real point to this story but to say that my DH is oblivious and takes advantage of my committment to the family too. I hope that's all it is in your case - it's was definitely harder for us the first time around (now I'm used to it and DH knows to phone and ask unless he wants to get in trouble).

Bugger - sorry you are going through a tough time at the mo. Mark and I have these crisis times too sometimes (always me having the crisis and always in my mind started by mark). Things get sorted though after some tears and a proper talk where we both listen to each other and there are no raised voices. I really hope you sort things out as it sounds like you're really upset.

The kittens are terrorising us at the moment. i look like I've been self harming I have so many scratches and the furniture is looking worse for wear. They are both getting lovely and friendly now though and want strokes and cuddles a lot. Even the hardened builders we have in at the moment are oohing and ahing at them.

On the building front we have found out that to do what we want in the living room includes structural work and we need to move an RSJ which is an extra £3000 - eeeeeeeeek! I am already sick of not having a living room and being locked in the kitchen while the builders are here and they will be an extra couple of weeks now because of the structural stuff.

Isn't it awful about that daytime TV presenter. Why can't men just make do with an ordinary wank?

Really sorry Bugger hope you can work it out.

Amber we had an extension when dd was a toddler. It was a bloody nightmare. We extended the kitchen and went weeks without being able to use it properly so I feel your pain.

J had his swine flu jab and seems fine. We have world book day tomorrow and I am taking Tom from Beast Quest and Rosa from the Magic Ballerina to school tomorrow. Should be good fun!

bugger I'm sorry you're unhappy. If it helps, DH and I went through a similar bad patch last year - it was prolonged, miserable and got to the point where I started to plan my life without him in it. IYKWIM. Yes, it was serious. (And no, I didn't mention it once on here! Hehe! But I did actually discuss it on the relationships board and it was helpful.) So, if you want to talk about it at length on here, do. We're in this together, right guys?

Things are better now - we had a bit of counselling but DH doesn't really respond well to that. (!) And talked things through. Doesn't stop him reverting to total idiot behaviour from time to time... I totally second what AH said as well. And also Amber although here we go in for tantrums and raised voices!

What are you having done in your living room, Amber? Are you having the fireplace thing taken out? (Everyone - Amber and Mark both said they intended to take the fireplace out, so I'm hoping she's not going to turn around and say 'what, that? No, it's a lovely feature, we adore it' and make me look awful now!) My kitchen arrives tomorrow and I'm more excited than I should be!

Bugger sorry things are difficult. I can also come out of the closet with everyone else and say that we've had several horrible patches, where if I won the Lottery the first thing I'd have got was a divorce . I'm sure that some of the time the only thing that keeps us together is the horror of organising our lives around a separation! Children can put enormous pressure on a relationship. Like lots of the DH/DPs here, my DH can be wonderful but can also be a total fuckwit. And he has equally unflattering things to say about me, some of which are justified, and some just overheated rhetoric. Rant as much as you need to here, if it helps . I bet if everyone here was to list in general terms the things that most piss them off, and their DH/Ps were to do the same, we'd see a lot of similar lists, so hopefully people will have helpful things to say.

You have also performed a public service as you've got us all chatting again . My days have been too uneventful to bore everyone with.

If anyone has any advice on getting T to sleep, without her crying for ages (wakes up DD1 - they share a room). She wakes up in the night for a feed, and a few nights I've fallen asleep whilst feeding, thus creating a Bad Habit. She becomes hysterical if I try and put her back in her own bed, but equally isn't really comfortable in our bed. She feeds all night , like a newborn, and we both wake up tired.

Ah, Rolf, I'm practically perfect in every way. Obviously.
EssiePoppins. Hmm...

essie I'm not perfect, just too good for my DH.... I like Rolf's description of her DH (wonderful fuckwit), it works here too.

Just had a totally panicked DH on the phone saying that his accountants think he owes another £3000 in tax. So instead of taking a break, I have spend the past 45 minutes going through the invoices and showing that we did pay enough tax - I'm firing his accountants. They are completely incompetant but DH is too disorganized to have given them shit before now. But since the plan is to add me to the company as a co-director, it means I have the power to switch us to someone who might be able to do math...

nothing to say here, but just a wave and a friendly hug for bugger and amber.

should be working...

Abdn, that story of your dh reminds me of the book Men Are From Mars... It says when women have a problem and talk about it they just want to be listened to, but men only want to solve the problem. You just wanted him to say 'of course you are doing a good job, you are wonderful' but he gets the spreadsheet out instead. Muppet

Bugger, is he sort to talk things through? I think it's really important to tell each other exactly how you are feeling - cos how can you expect him to change unless you tell him what he is doing to upset you (and vice versa). It is so hard when you both work FT and have a baby - the possibility for resentment is huge because there is just so much to do there are not enough hours in the day.

Essie, glad you are getting your issues sorted - I bet living mostly apart really puts a strain on your relationship .

Poppy, it's www.mutimac.co.uk. My boss suggested I write a piece for the paper on it and hopefully get a discount. They said they would come on Saturday to show me . Funny how the mention of an article in a national paper got them moving!

Sybil, thanks for that info. There are a few cars we can get 3 seats across the back, but if we do buy a new car we really want to buy one that fits a fourth child (just in case), so hopefully it is the last car upgrade we do. (We thought the last one would be the last ) I hate buying cars, they just eat your money.

Amber, glad you are feeling better - I really recommend reading Optimum Nutrition Before, During and After Pregnancy by Susannah Lawson. There is a test you can have to measure your homocysteine levels. Apparently homocysteine is important in pregnancy and you can improve your levels through your diet. I can't remember whether it is supposed to be high or low (I think low) but either way your diet can fix it! It might be worth checking out before next time. Some info here

Just a quick one to respond to Essie before I go and pick up Luke but we are having the monstrosity in the living room removed- the fireplace removed and a lovely limestne one put in, the beams gone, the height of the alcove raised by moving the RSJ (and having to hold the whole side of the house up on sticks!), the horrid lights removed and spotlights put in and the downstairs bathroom completely gutted and replced!!!! Everywhere is full of dust so i am off cleaning duty hurrah!!!

Oh on a completely other note, reggie keeps trying to er 'seduce' mabel so he's in for the snip on Monday even though he'll only be 4 months. otherwise the only one getting preggers in this household will be Mabel (with weirdy incestuous kittens)

Thanks for all the messages, and for sharing too - total fuckwit sounds about right. Thing is, we've talked about all the ishoos before, DP acknowledges them and then ignores it all completely. We've barely spoken today, and quite frankly I'm too tired to care tonight.

Amber, your posts do make me laugh.

Just popping in to mark my spot. Bugger, sorry things are a bit shite. Just holler if you need to. Sorry too to hear of wobbles past and present elsewhere.

I can't complain too much about DH - I'm exceptionally lucky. If anything, he probably does more day to day stuff than me. This in itself creates other ishoos. There's barely a day goes by when at least for a split second I don't resent DH for being a great dad while I'm such a rubbish wife and mother!

Amber, hope the building work goes ok. Sounds like a real PITA.

Am currently learning how to work my new MacBook so I may be gone for some time...

I appear to have killed the thread!

Am concerned on re-reading my last post that it might sound a bit smug and insensitive so just to say that I wasn't trying to be either!

If anyone is feeling charitable today, I posted a link on my fb to the justgiving page of a 5 year old boy who's being very brave and using his own health troubles as vehicle for raising money for people in Haiti.

Hope the new kitchen is going well Essie - will we get to see pictures? I'm getting my hall decorated next week and am very pleased about it! (Especially as I'm not doing the painting which is what normally happens).

J has just pulled a bottle of wine out of the rack abd smashed it on the floor. The house smells like a brewery and it was the expensive bottle! grrrrr

Sybil P pulled an empty pint glass out of the dishwasher and dropped it on the kitchen floor yesterday. Glass everywhere. Luckily it was empty, so no brewery smell here.

Sybil - eeeeeeeeek!!! At least he wasn't hurt.

Domestic - I thought I had killed the thread too - maybe we are just going through a quiet patch. I will make a cute comment then to lighten things up and say how sweet is it now the litte 'uns are trying to sing? We get twinkle twinkle little star with Luke coming in with odd words here and there - it's so sweet I know if Luke ever sings anything at school or nursery i will bawl my eyes out!!

Neenz - I tried to read that article but i'll stick with the book I think - probably less hard going (I only read things with pictures I'm so crap).

So the kittens have officially ruined everything in the house. The curtains are all pulled where they have been climbing them, the leather chairs and our just reupholstered sofa all have scratches and tears from their nails.For such small creatures they really have massacred the place!

Amber, I'm so glad ds is allergic to cats! Otherwise we would definitely have had one and they sound a nightmare. My mum had a house cat that would sharpen its claws on the furniture and the wallpaper. The house was completely trashed.

ds1 and dd are trying to talk us into getting a puppy. A friend at school recently got a Bichon Frise pup and it is really cute, very small and has hypoallergenic fur (allegedly). They have mentioned it every day for the past couple of weeks and look at picture of them on the web. DH is refusing point blank though as he reckons J would terrorise it. As an excuse it is probably both convenient and true.

T is trying to sing as well. She is dancing, too, which is very sweet save that it very, um... wiggly. She's' copying from her big sister who I very very foolishly didn't prevent from watching a Black Eyed Peas video so she has a rather suggestive dancing style .

Love the "romance" between Reggie and Mabel!