November 2008 - The Birthdays thread.

[LatinDAISYcal]

As we will still be on this when the first birthdays roll round.

I'll try and find the list to remind us all.

right, off to watch telly; will catch up properly tomorrow.

and if jaunita is lurking, Happy Birthday P for Saturday. I'm pretty sure he was the 21st!

Oh pinky that is just such an awful situation
I suppose she said you should have no other friend in order that she could have had complete control?

My mum and I are in the midst of a silly argument but I do feel that for this past year she has criticised me for how I dealt with J so much so that it has damaged our, ptherwise good, relationship.
I feel that it is about the control for her. In that with DD, I followed her lead and dealt withh DD as she saw I should, but with DS I have done it totally differently. She has not been able to handle that I did not do as I was told.
For months, every time I went to her house she woudl tell me that J was clingy simply because he was in the bed with me and I should get him out.
It was her mantra for months. I chose to ignore and breath through it every time, but she never let up until I finally did as she pleased.
I know in myself that I did it when he and I were ready but that is not the impression I allowed to to get.

My situation is nowhere near the level that you are with you mother but it is hard for me right now, trying to decide how best to move forward when every part of me feels like it is clawing for freedom from her constraints.

Sis said, 'it is just one of those mother knows best things, twink. She feels she knows best.'
I replied, that that is the whole point, that is being missed by my mum.
Yes mother does know best.
I am Js mother and I know best by him!
But will never be given the respect for that
I am exsaperated and don't know where to go from here.
But mums Bday is Monday and I am busy tommorrow so I am going to have to in today and bow down before her and apologise, so that I can maintain the peace.
It is all so horribly false.
A game I am tired of playing.

And I am petty to go on about my quibbles when you have such bigger issues.

hey twink have sent you a message on fb.

Ooh interesting.
Have replied

evening all!
Sorry to those having DH troubles. Sparkletoes I can sympathise re. the light being switched on. Last Sunday night DH and I had an absolute humdinger over him turning the TV on and waking me up. We had a childish wrangle over the remote before I threw it so he couldn't reach it. I then blew my top completely and told him I didn't like him anymore. Sleep is v.important to me!! Men can be pigs.

So how did Rutho's scan go?

Congrats to Phee and Yorky on being PG!! When are your due dates?

Re. cycles, mine were highly irregular before DD was conceived. Ranged from 28 - 70 days - made TTC v.tricky indeed. Hence took 3 years.

Pinky really sorry to hear of your family issues. I know you've spoken of your relationship with your mother before. And Hana think you're really brave going to Relate. how is it going? And how is work going BTW? I'm very out of touch - sorry.

Am home alone as DH in Africa filming an arts festival so I am SAHM for a week - loving it.

The x-factor is on! woohoO!!

Hi Lovely Ladies,
pinky for you having to go through this with your family, but you have a lovely little family of your own and I am glad you are looking forward to Xmas it will be fab!
hana hope things start to get better soon, counselling is very draining. Well done to F on the walking that is great
Happy Birthday Hamster hope you had a great day yesterday.
Happy Birthday to P, hope you had a lovely day also.
twinks hope your mother comes round soon and realises who J's mum is, someone on here said something months ago and it has stuck with me, I think it was pinky who said "its our turn to be the parents" was something like that anyway.
Also hope rutho's scan went well.
I had my SF jab on thursday and dont know if it's coincidence but have felt awful since, I feel slightly better today but last night my temp was 40 degrees and I couldnt get it down for ages I did have a slight cough before I went so may have been the start of the cold anyway. Millie is very clingy just now too, no one else but mum will do which is fine but when you just want 10 mins when your not well its not so fine. DH is home and she just cries if I leave the room to go to the loo etc, she had a viral thing at the start of the week but think she may have more teeth on the way.

ellilou the plum and I had SF jab on Thursday morning. My arm is still throbbing- it's really sore!! The doc told me even though it isn't a live vaccine, it's highly likely you will feel slight flu symptoms. Hope you feel better soon

Hello
Thank you, Daisy for yuor kind offer, would be lovely to meet up.

Twinks..so many people start these stories with "mine is no where near as bad as yours, but". If it's affecting you, your wellbeing, your relationships with other people, then it matters, and you need to do something to redress the balance. It's something to do with the parent/child relationship not having prgressed (in the mind of the parent) to adult-adult relationship. If it was a normal balance you would probably be able to shrug off her 'rod for your own back' blarney without a second thought. You should not have to apologise for her tantrums- and it is a kind of game- a power game. Sorry if I'm waay off the mark and I mean no disrespect to your family

Monkey thank you,too. Hope you are enjoying your girls together time! Filming in Africa sounds wonderful.

Ellie nurse buddy of mine is in quandry re SF jab- says lots of her colleagues have felt crappola after it, and she suffers from chronic fatigue so is very wary.

We are supposed to be decorating but DH is asleep upstairs and I'm..well..on here

OOh and Ellie all the attachment theory books I have read says that 1 year old is one of the peaks for separation anxiety, it's the time when they start giving strangers the hard stare- Mimi is doing it and it's very funny watching people trying to get her to smile (she does eventually as she's a happy soul). Mimi follows me everywhere and climbs up me like a cat. As you say it is lovely but I find myself finding inventive ways of getting a trip to the loo by myself (luxury )

monkeyM I think its maybe a combination of the two I prob had a cold coming on and the jab hasnt helped in that respect but hopefully will portect me from the SF pinky I was in such a quandry about it, I havent had an injection since I had a huge panic attack after my hep b booster in 2005 (basically thought I was having an anaphalaxis as couldnt breath and heart was racing, doc and nurse panicked and got adrenaline and were away to send me to A&E but then I had calmed down) it was like the straw that broke the camels back IYKWIM I ended up off my work for about 5 months with anxiety and stress, before that happened i couldnt have cared less about injections, I took what was going so that coupled with the fact that there was so much hype about this one but I thought long and hard about it, I have asthma am a nurse and my DH is away alot and cant be ill when he is away so I gritted my teeth and did it, in a way I feel like I have really achieved something so am actually glad I have done it, gosh you didnt ask for all that info did you lol.

Oh meant to say thank you for all your lovely messages about my friend turns out she has an overian cyst, so at least its not malignant.

eek ellie that sounds scary! And yes you have achived something in going for it- that must have taken some courage!

I said to my friend that she may be over-thinking it a bit- and that if she actually got SF she would feel much worse than after the jab. I'm not sure wether to take it up for my DC, well, the girls, since DS has had it already. But they are all still so full of colds, sore throats I won't be doing it this week at any rate.

I have to say in defence of it everyone else I have spoken to have only had a sore arm after having the injection! I think it must be better than having the SF

You are right pinky. It just all feels so petty that I guess I am apologising for that straight out, but it does affect me so maybe I shouldn't
You are spot on with the 'power struggle' it is all about retaining her power. She will huff and strop and take it to any level until we, children, admit that were at fault, end of.
Sis has coached me in the art of deconstructing the bomb that is mum and tells me, for an easy life, it is the only way.
It is false, I won't actually mean sorry and, as much as I can help it, I won't actually utter those words.
At least it will be an, I'm sorry we argued. Which is true.

Tried to meet up with her today, but a couple of texts and dad was on the phone to say that she was ill (not with this, I don't think she was not being manipulative) and that we woudl speak soon.
It was a truce, of sorts, to say that she is not still fuming with me, but just not well enough to face the world at all today.
But he, dad, did relay that she is feeling that I don't give her enough respect. That, in fact, only sis, out of the 4 of us, does.
But that is because sis will drop everything, even lie to mum in saying no I had nothing planned, in order to do mums bidding. Sis is hppy to do it, she places great emphasis on 'family' and woudl drop anything to help any ne of us.
Makes you feel bad but that is her choice. I choose me and mine, sorry
I am not saying I don't do thikngs if I can, but if we had plans I woudl be honest about it ad try to work around them, not drop them without a thought.
The point is that sis, bless her, is exactly the character that mum likes, ready and biddable. Doesn't answer back and plays mums power games.
The rest of us are, aparently, not playing them. So we are all out of favour for it.
Sory, but it seems a bit petty, doesn't it?

I spoke up, she didn't like it, so she will strop until I stop doing it and make amends for being 'disrespectful'

Oh gowd, I am so sorry for all these massive posts

Oh my god all those typos!
And do your think that was a freudian slip
(not with this, I don't think she was not being manipulative)
I don't think she was 'not' being manipulative

ah twinks, sorry for your ongoing mum issues; sometimes mums just don't realise when to butt out

still not fully caught up....I'm trying, honest

Thank you daisy.
And that is just one of my irks with mum, at the mo.
We have fallen out in the past few days over another issue entirley, but I think all my resentments over the year have added to us clashing big style now.
I am just so fed up with the power struggle and game playing.
I want out of it all

sigh, This to shall pass
but I do think it has affected our relationship badly.
Well, she has said as much.
och anyway, enough about me.

Well done you £100 for all your old tat ain't half bad!!
Got another christmas fayre tommorrow.
Think it is gonna be a good one (not to mean I will actually make any money!).
I have told DH he has to take DD out to meet santa!

cross posts twink. Sounds like your sister is making things a lot worse for you and your other sibs by being so biddable. I think DH's mum would like to be like your mum, but he doesn't pay her any heed . For all my parent's faults, the one thing they never did was interfere in any of our lives (apart from my sister over an old BF but that was fully justifiable as he was a nutter, and only she couldn't see it, but it was only when they stopped their nagging that she came round!)

I've given up analysing my MIL. I mean today they came to babysit while we did the sale. They turned up and half eight and we had to leave sharpish after that. We got back at about 12.45ish and by the time we had parked up and got in the house she had her coat on and was gathering her things together; so sitting sharing a cup of tea and passing the time of day....so diferent to my family dynamics, but hey ho. In fat, it is five weeks until Christmas and I have no idea whether or not we are seeing them on hristmas Day or even what they are doing . Part of the problem is DH though as he won't ask them unless I prompt him to. Pehaps he has had enough of her???

gah, I have verbal diahorrea tonight

Meeting Santa!

That's what we'll do tomorrow. We have been so busy in the house, and I said to DH we were having a day out tomorrow. So, visiting Santa it will be. DS1 has lost the magi , but DD is just the right age for it this year (DS1 under pain of death to not spoil it for her!!)

Off to google local grottoes and then bed!

We have been up since 4 this morning ; it gets worse

We too tried to see santa yesterday when we went to see Gloucester lights be switched on but they shut the gate just as we got there. I did try to pleed with the elf that this was O's first time and dd2 was nearly in tears but it was 1 minutes past 3 and it did shut at 3pm, wicked elf.

twink do you want pics, if so i can put some on fb later today for you hun

Oh that is just really rotten tegan but I suppose in their position they will see a lot of happy faces but a lot of dissapointed faces to. I guess at some point they have to get hard nosed.
Still poor DD2

Not sure about the buggy. Will really have to go away and decide if it really is the best thing, to change, or if I can cope with having to put the buggy in the garage and go collect it from there every time I need it.
I end up using a really crappy cheapy thing when I want a quick nip to the shop. I hoped I could have one that lived in the house, that I used for all.
Oh I am so indecisive.
I will think and get back to you soon.
sorry

ok twink well it is back on ebay anyway

bumble has diahorrea and DS1 spiking a temp of 40 and coughing like a smoker with a 40 a day habit so no Santa for us today

Boo Lacks to having to miss Santa. Poor bumble. Seems there's no chance of avoiding constant illness in the winter months with a wee one.

The plum awoke vomiting at 10pm last night. Went in, picked her up and she puked and puked all over me, the room, the cot. Never seen so much vom. Poor chicken. Seems Ok today except for teething signs.

What is everyone else upto today? Going out at 3pm for sunday lunch with our neighbours. Really looking fwd to it...yum!!