May '09 Fine and DANDY vive la difference! 3 months on and our babies and lives are changing.

[Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa]

Well Dandy!!!!!!! Just for you after an annoying night

llareggub yes it's anne of gg land.. dh has been to nova scotia to see his family but I've never been to canada. can't believe I'm thinking of moving somewhere I've never visited!

how did the fair go in the end? was it worthwhile?

I've always wanted to go. It sounds so beautiful in the books. How exciting!

The fair was ok, but quite quiet. We'll see how our leads firm up over the next month or so. We did get quite a bit of work from the other exhibitors so it was great from that perspective.

Morning!

Fi - my friend that got married on Friday is currently living on Prince Edward Island, just a bridge away from Nova Scotia! When I went to visit her a couple of years ago, we went to the Anne of Green Gables Museum! It is a lovely part of the world, although v cold for most of the year! Good luck!

sausage - O has never slept right through although we have had some nights where he's stirred and I've just given him a lying down feed. I should maybe try giving him time to settle himself rather than automatically feeding him when he stirs but DH normally says "Is he ok? He's hungry, give him some boob."!!

On the subject of DH, I told him yesterday that I had a meeting to do with work that I want to go to on the evening of 24th Sept so I needed him to be home to babysit. He's agreed to do it but has admitted that he's scared that he won't be able to settle O if he gets upset. I think it's partly because I'm BF and that is often (although not always!) what settles him. I'm starting to build up a little supply of frozen EBM so it's not like that will be an issue. He's going to ask my cousin who lives nearby to come over for the evening too. Any thoughts on how I can help DH become more confident?

He always comes up with an excuse when I try and leave O with him on his own. Like yesterday, I wanted to nip into town to get the saline nasal drops (45 mins tops) and he said he couldn't as he had too many jobs to do and had a headache. When I'm around he will caht away nicely with O and I don't think it's a lack of bonding.

Sorry, chat away nicely with O

Ses- I think it is difficult for DP/DHs to feel confident about settling LOs but the more they do it the more they realise they can do it! I usually put DS2 down for his naps, and put him to bed, but DH has done it a few times or settled him if he stirs in the evening. He uses the sling for daytime sleeps and pats and shushes in the evenings. DH and I used to take it in turns to settle DD and DS1 but this time round, he generally deals with the older 2 and i focus on DS2.

ses small world! dh has been to PEI and the museum too :-) has talked about living there ever since. DH and settling dc.. definitely a confidence and practice thing.. why not do a dummy run with EBM before the 24th?

Fingers crossed llare you get some follow up sales from your leads.

In the ongoing quest for an emigrating decision.. i've started a thread in the living overseas section. excited and interested to see what people think..

dandy thanks! i am feeling really quite guilty though as i feel nothing i've done will be considered enough by my mum..

Ses - how about getting your dh to put O to bed when you are in the house a few times, but out of earshot / sight? That way if something goes 'wrong' (ie, like forgetting to put a nappy on - still can't believe that, ffs) then he can give you a call. Also perhaps encourage him to give O a bottle of ebm with you next to him? Depends what your dh is like - my dp just gets arsey if I show him what to do

Dandy - am SO hankering after that pint you menioned!

After watching Marley & Me yesterday, I am v of all the giant houses that they have over there. I said to dp 'oooh can't we move there' and he said 'ok - our company has offices there!' He has also told me that his company has offices in HK and he knows I would give my right arm to live there again..... but all has gone quiet on that front. Harumph.

Yes, I agree with the suggestion to just leave him to it. I don't think women have an extra gene or a different set of brain cells that make settling a baby easier.

I've always fancied a trip to Canada; particularly PEI. Amazing what a childhood love of books can do, isn't it?

We're having a lazy day today. DS is still a bit snotty and not quite right. We wandered over to the park earlier and DS had a kick around with a teenager. I thought the teenager was very good to indulge a 2-year-old in front of his mates. I nearly praised him but thought that might have finished him off! DS was thrilled. He loves playing with older boys so a teenager nearly made his heart explode! We are very lucky to have a great little park around the corner.

It is the big move tomorrow into our new business premises. We're so excited! DS and I made a good luck card earlier so I'm going to bake a cake later to give to DH with the card.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Off to tidy now.

Dandy* You speak the truth yet again. One of my friends DH would make her take her newborn into the bathroom when she took a bath in case he cried poor thing she never got a break in the early days. He is great now and does part time child care.
Ses I wouldn't bother with dry run just go out and let DH deal with it he will work it out and it will give him the confidence to do it again. My sister had a friend who went to the shops for 2 hours when her DS was 5 weeks old and left him with her DH and he used 10 nappies while she was gone .

My DH has surprised me by being off work today he has been on a really long job and hasn't had a proper day off in weeks. I woke up and he was giving dd breakfast. God I love him .

dandy you have the knack of summing up how i'm feeling so succinctly.. also you're right.. i think my mum would want me at her beck and call for the rest of her days!

at least that part of canada is only 6hrs away flight wise.. much easier to come back and visit than if we went to NZ.

DH is going to start job hunting and talk to his family over there.. his cousin had offered to put us up when we said we planned to come for a holiday.

ds is well grumpy, tired and hyper.. dh and i are taking it in turns to cuddle him and keep him still on the sofa for a rest.. hopefully he'll give in and go to sleep.

you must be really excited llareggub about your premises :-)

i've been doing laundry and sorting out g's clothes.. putting away things too small and fishing out next sizes etc. she's sleeping a lot today.. so far anyway.

Dandy- I guess as most DPs/DHs on here work they just don't spend the same amount of time with them as we do and therefore feel they don't have as much experience when LO is upset etc. I feel like BF is an additional tool for helping calm and settle LOs and probably why many partners suggest a feed when nothing else is working (and also because it lets them off the hook ). My DH is a very hands on dad, and loves doing things with the older DCs but like me doesn't enjoy the newborn stage and leaves a lot of the care of DS2 to me. He is better at winding than me though, so does get involved when DS2 is struggling with wind. I know of many partners who have never put there DCs to bed (even in 1 or 2 years), partly due to BF but also i'm sure partly because they see it as wimmins work.

dh is a lot more confident dealing with g than he ever was with ds.. saying that though he was always a lot better with winding ds than me and still is with G :-) these days though like many of us he does keep ds occupied etc more than he gets to deal with G due to bf.

Hi all.
interesting conv going on here. on DH, ses, there has been great advice from the others. i like the dummy/EBM back up. also, i think it's easier for DP/dh's once babies start interacting, growing out of the stage where mums are needed most for BF. he'll do fine and will feel more confident with each time he's alone with O.

my DH is helpful esp with older DDs. but at night i'll shove pass her over to DH to wind/change/etc as she won't think it's feeding time all the time (sometimes I'm just too tired to do otherwise).

febes, that's sweet about your DH.

llare, good luck tomorrow.

Fi, it seems like that's often the way with parents: the ones who live closest and do the most don't seem to get the recognition. My mum did so much for her mum/my gran and also took care of her at home after my dad passed away and before she went into a home. yet my gran was so mean to her and she could never do enough. her other sons/daughters lived hundreds of miles away and didn't do much but seemed more favoured than my mum. sigh. i think deep down, my grandma appreciated my mother in any case. hope my mom realises that too.

exciting to think about your move as well. can't wait to hear how it all comes into plan. we still think about moving to the US (DH has a visa) but just seemed difficult to find a job and the house market hasn't really been on our side. i think we will someday just don't know where/when.

sausagen, would love to move to HK.

speaking of abroad... wonder how grumpy is doing .

dandy, so many words of wisdom from you... i often go back to re-read .

sun has come out here, hope the same for you all.

Hi everyone,

I haven't caught up properly yet, but 'hi' to LadyH and Reebee

I was PMSL with the no nappy story. I'm sure my DH did that once in the past:

reebee success with the house hunting. I hope you find the right property. It's stressful househunting isn't it?

fi Canada. That sounds lovely. There's so much green and space over there. I hope for you that your plans come true:

We just spent the day at the beach. We went by train as a train ride is always exciting for the dcs. The beaches in Belgium are great: wide and sandy so the dcs loved it. I logged on because I just had to tell you all about the most funny thing I've ever seen that seems to have taken Belgian's elderly dog owners by storm: buggies for dogs! Yes, it looks really silly, but there were all these little dogs in doggy 3 wheelers and doggy buggaboos. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. So funny!

Maybe it should be called a dogaboo?

Sorry

Managed to catch up now.

men and babies Well, my DH was better with ds and dd1 than C. I'm not sure why, but I think it might be that he's been away a lot more after C's birth. With ds and dd1 he had a month at home, so lots of time go get to know her and for her to get to know him. My DH is much quicker to give up with trying to settle C before handing her to me than in the past. He seems to presume that crying = hungry. On the other hand she does settle much more quickly with me and seems to know me better. However if I need him to look after her for an hour or so if I've got an appointment of some sort, he will happily do it and he has never phoned me to ask me to come back because the baby (any) is crying.

I'm also wondering how Grumy's move is going. It must all be so exciting for her.

Talking about moving, I wonder how my DH is doing. He's supposed to be loading a van up now. I'm hoping that once he's home, he'll see how much I've done. Thanks for all the words of support too btw, it was lovely to get some understanding comments.

lol Sausage, a dogaboo

Men and babies It's got to be a confidence and experience thing imo. Dh is also great with the older dc, but I'm not putting myself through expressing just for dh to put dd2 to bed. He sorts out the other 2 and when I stop bf he can do all three. dd2 will falls asleep when she is tired and needs no prompting. Got to post andrun. Very tired. No naps for the skids today dd2 has a temp.

Divide and conquer in this house.

belgian rofl!! That's priceless but at the same time very scary

me thinks the knock on effect will be designer equipment to help said spoiled pooch that's become overweight lose those extra pounds..

jennster sounds like a hard day for you.. hope dd's temp goes down and you get a relaxing evening to re charge.