Fab Feb 2009: baby coos, stinky poos - three months on...

[dinkystinky]

so here we go again

LBB- you're not a horrible person.

If you had no idea how you were making him feel, or knew but carried on regardless then yes, you would be horrible. But you have acknowledged how your behaviour affects your relationship and are taking steps to resolve it. That doesn't make you horrible, it just means you are able to change things for the better.

MoS Hope dd's head is better and bump isn't too bad.
lardy glad yesterday went ok in the end. It's lovely when they do things like that to say sorry isn't it?
PSL I'm so sorry about your cousin, and there's me going on like an idiot. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be insensitive. How is she doing?
I don't blame you for not having the twins also, I think I'd have said no too, you can only do so much.
Great news about M's scan results.
STW I have private messaged you on fb regarding AD's, just incase you didn't get back on here for a few days and didn't see a reply.
Now I have read your post properly, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, there are people out there that have to go through a lot worse, but come on, there are lots of people that have never come close to dealing with what you have to, so please stop feeling like you're a failure, because you are not. Far from it.
Excema must be awful for a little baby, I think the lack of understanding must be very difficult for them too.
You are not the only one to have shouted at a baby. There are a few of us that have done it recently and are all feeling awful for it, but a raised voice won't do any serious harm and they won't remember unless it becomes a regular thing.
I'd be a bit concerned about the panic attacks and would def see someone about that. A friend of mine hypoventilated(sp?) in Morrisons after having her ds because she couldn't find the Quavers.
My mobile number is on fb, feel free to call me anytime if you want to talk, or we can arrange a coffee or something. Kingston is a bus ride away for me. x
lardy at the neighbours fire! How's dd now? What did the doc say? OMG, awful. Poor little love
thom Yes, he either does love me very much or he is punishing himself for something.
How did your ds manage to bite his friends willy? I'll read on to find out

ds1 loved the door bouncer. I can't remember at what age I put him in it at. I'll try Luke in it when I think he's beefed enough and his neck and back are a bit stronger, but can't see him being in there for long with ds1 around
PSL Hope M is ok with her jabs. Ds1 was fine with the first and awful for the rest, and Luke was the opposite (I think, is it awful I can't remember 2 weeks back?) Think it all depends on the baby to how they react. Only one more to go though before the MMR at a year.
MS Thanks. I just have to get him to see it like that. He thinks (and he's right) that I am incredibly selfish and don't care for anyone as much as myself (that bit's not true). I really do try to think of him before myself, but I know it doesn't come across like that. He thinks I work to please myself and no one else, and I don't. Or at least not intentionally.
I'm sorry to burden you all, but don't want to talk to RL people about it, because I make dp sound like a huge a-hole and he isn't. I don't want people to know how I feel and then have to be nice to him iyswim.
I always knew at the start that he was the one because he always made me want to be a better person. I see so many qualities in him that I wish I had, but I don't. How am I going to make this better now?
I am incapable of thinking things through. I see red and I go off on one, there is no time for thought. Then I say something really stupid and always regret it. I actually do think it has something to do with PMT, but if I play that card, he'll think I'm taking the piss!
I'm sure it'll be ok.
Thanks for support again, and thanks for the honesty thom and PT.
I have been thinking about writing this letter, but I talk my way out of how I feel, for example, I want dp to give me more emotional support. 3 weeks ago I was harping on about him needing to be a bit more hands on. So now, he has to work 6 days a week, come home and deal with the dc's, and tell me how wonderful I am so now I think, well he can't do everything, and I realise that I am being a bit, if not alot unreasonable.

Longest post yet! For me!

No I know PT - I feel so bad for her. My aunt died a few years ago and my other cousin lives in the US. My uncle lives miles away and is currently on his boat goodness knows where and we can't get hold of him.

We will make it work when she has her new baby. Her son actually has a different father who she still gets on well with, so maybe he can help with the twins as well? I was so lucky with support when I had M so I want to pass it on do the same for her, just need to sort out the logistics.

MS giss one here? And if they are nice can I have the recipe?

LBB, of course you're not horrible or selfish. You have 2 dcs just 18 months apart and that's really really hard - a lot of work to do.

mmmmm, banana muffins. will have to make some of those, have a fab weight watchers reicipe. Going to do lots of baking tomorrow as on Wed am DD's playgroup are having a 'waddle toddle' and will be walking/skipping/running around the playing field dressed as clowns (if DD will co-operate) to raise money for Help for Heros and then a cake sale afterwards. Think I'll make flapjacks, nana muff (as DD calls my banana muffins) and maybe a chocolate cake or brownies. My friend and I had fab clown outfits made by the tailor here and I'm trying to make a hat for her and will paint their faces (again, if they co-operate)

lardy sorry, missed your earlier post about your DD. Very scary and I hope she is ok

LBB, thanks for asking, DD's head is a bit better although she has a HUGE lump on it. She had forgotten about it until a few people commented on it yesterday at her swimming lesson at which point she started cryin and clutching her head. Drama queen

PT, shocked you are so young for one so wise

right off to make profiteroles for tea (from a packet though, can't be arsed to do from scratch)

Just wanted to say thanks to you all for your supportive and positive comments! Having a good day so far today - Sam slept from 7pm to 4.30am, which is unheard of . Rather than wait until Weds, I'm trying to get a GP appointment this afternoon - I've spoken to various people (not healthcare professioanls though!!) and all are thinking along the same lines as you THOM. Eczema, runny nose, cough, red eyes, been unselttled since birth - all could indicate a dairy allergy. Let's hope the doc is helpful this pm otherwise the tears may start! PT the HV also suggested going to A&E if no support from GP.

I really like my health visitor and she's being very supportive so I'm hoping to get myself sorted quickly. I do think that happy Sam will equal happy Mum!!! Then there's DD, but I would be able to deal with her a lot better without a whinging baby slung across me!!

PSL and Swampy we've been seeing a cranial osteopath - got the third session on Thursday - and I've been using a humidifier for the past month. So far no improvement though. Didn't know that about Mega 3 oils Swampy. How do you get them into a 12 week old baby though - or is it a topical thing? It's the congestion that seems to be the main problem, because the eczema does seem to be responding to the steroid cream. A yukky question, but those of you with snuffly babies, what is the snot like? Sam's is white and frothy, whereas DD's is either clear, or green if it's a particularly bad cold.

Anyway, I'm sort of banking on it being an allergy or intolerance because I can do something about that! If it's just eczema + one cold after another + difficult baby, I'm buggered!!!

LBB going to try to get on Facebook later to see your message, but thanks so much in advance. sorry you are still having a hard time - you've also had your fair share of health problems with DS1 and your UTI's - none of this helps! I think you've been given loads of great advice here (as always ladies) and I really hope you can move forward. I particularly think MS'S banana muffin will help !

LArdy I hope DD is ok? How inconsiderate of your neighbours.

Elkiedee sorry you are having a run of bad nights and hope it's just a blip with DS1 that will pass before too long.

Sam screaming blue murder now so must dash....

Omega 3 !!!

I've just made chicken soup and my dumplings had the consistency of snot. I am very upset.

As would I be THOM. It really pisses me off when my cooking goes wrong. I can't eat dumplings, they always make me feel depressed.

PSL- Will FB you the recipe later my love!

Hi all,
has been the usual ages and ages and ages since i posted but just cant seem to keep up!

Let me start off by saying that i hope things are ok with you Lardy - what an inconsiderate thing for your neighbour to do LLB - hope you are ok, just skimmed your last few posts but it seems you are getting sound advice from everyone

Have had a look at some recent pics on FB of everyones Lo's and they are gorgeous Milo is such a poppet now and smiles and giggles all the time. Sleep wise he is going between 7 and 8 hours now so near enough through the night thank goodness, he seems to know when its bedtime

Have had some serious back problems of late and have been on co codamol and ibruprofen daily for this bout of sciatica (sp) - bloody typical, i was fine during my pregnancy but its all going off now im not

Talking of which, i had a mooch at the ante natal threads to see if there was a Feb one up yet ( but realised it was a week or so too early )as Milo wasnt concieved till the end of this month last year but it wont be long now till there is a Feb 2010 thread ... It might just be me but im getting slightly broody at the thought of a scrummy newborn in another couple of years - said i wouldn't have a fifth lol but oh well, DH, the girls and I are so enjoying Milo just cant imagine never doing this again but it all depends on health, moving ect ect i guess.

Whats up with this horrid weather? Am dying to get Milos chubby legs in some shorts Cant wait till we can legitimately have a bbq too!

Thanks for birthday messages - feeling really ancient today though glad a couple of you are slightly more ancient!
DH bought me a lovely linen dress - though it is in a size 10 which I haven't been since before being pregnant with DS - do you think he is trying to tell me something?

MS any of those banana muffins left?

LBB of course you are not a horrible person! You just need a bit of TLC at the moment, which I think all of us could do with a bit more of.

Just heard from one of my NCT friends - she had a baby boy yesterday 7 weeks early.....he's tiny, very poorly and in intensive care unable to breath unaided . Makes you want to hug your own babies a bit closer doesn't it?

Calico Hope your friends lo is ok. Horrid idn't it? My friend's sister had a baby 11 weeks early and he is now a wonderfully active 3 year old.
I was born 8 weeks early, apart from being a slight f-up, there's not much wrong with me either.
My point is, that hopefully, he'll be just fine after a few weeks in ICU. My best friends bub was also born 9 weeks early and he was unable to breathe on his own. Incredibly sad and worrying, but soon came home and is now 18 months old.

Thanks all, again. I'm feeling loads better, but dp isn't home yet. We've spoken on the phone. Think he must have been desperately trying to think of something to ring me for because he ended up calling me and asking what the green one is called in Thomas The Tank Engine. .
Then he asked how ds1 is. Maybe this is my problem, I look to hard at things, and instead of thinking he should have asked about ds1 first, at least he asked.

I think I will write a letter to him, that way he can take his time reading it, and he can't interupt me, which guess what? Really annoys me!

I am getting really boring aren't I?

Ohh sorry missed your birthday here Calico - Happy belated wishes

Just back from a&e. Her throat is very inflamed but chest is clear. Lots of calpol and cuddles prescribed!!!!

I left the windows open a little bit when i left and the fecking idiots lit it again today so my whole house now stinks... I wouldn't let someone smoke in my house so it just isnt acceptable in my eyes.... dp put it out with a hose yesterday so they must have used petrol or something to get it going today. He is going to go mad when he gets home!!!

Sorry must dash dd needs feeding....

Oh lardy Pleased she is ok. I know it's not good about her throat, but at least her chest is clear, thank God, could have been alot worse.

Can't believe that about your neighbours, especially lighting it up again. I assume it's to get out of paying a fee for fly-tipping or something.
Can you get intouch with your council or someone and make them aware of what is happening.
Someone on your thread said they thought it was illegal to burn carpets because of the fumes, so I would def make someone aware of what is happening.

I just started to write dp that letter, but my wrist is cramping. It is also quite scruffy, has been a while since I had to write anything but a shopping list!
Is it very bad to type it? Takes away that personal touch doesn't it?

Lardy glad DD is OK. LBB is right, there are laws regarding what you cannot burn. I'd contact the environmental department of your council for advice. You don't want them to do it yet again.

Rosie's going to be up the duff again before we know it!

lardy so glad that your DD is ok and I'm sure she'll get loads of cuddles.
Your neighbours are complete arses and I hope your DH kicks arse. If not, maybe we'll do the summer meet up round yours and we'll all give them a hard time

calico, hope your friends LO is ok. As others far wiser than me have said, medical care is so good nowadays (except at LBB's surgery) so hopefully all will be ok.

rosie hold that thought

Will have to lol, still got a long way to go re c sec healing and stuff but oh they are sooo little and cute and tiny and squishy
Lardy, cant believe your neighbours lighting that up again what complete idiots!

rosie You crazy lady!!!!!!!!
There's a conception thread for feb 2010 tough isn't there?

Ds1 now won't take calpol off a spoon or out of a syringe. He also won't take the AB's, the dose I just tried to give him went all down him.
I wrote dp a letter. He's not read it, it's on the side in the kitchen, I just told him to read it in his own time. I basically just said how much I love him, what a wonderful dad he is and that I really don't know why I keep trying to push him away, and why I keep putting him in that position where he can't win. Ever. I also tried to write down how the PND left me feeling and how I've been feeling since the meds kicked in, also that when ds1's temp shoots up, my first fear is that he's going to die (drama queen alert), but that's what it is, and if something happens, and I'm not quick enough to get him to a hospital..........I also said that I realise he must feel under a massive amount of pressure to bring home enough money to ensure our survival and that I am eternally grateful for that, and that I feel like I fail him now, because I don't know how to look after him, but that I spend all my time making decisions for the boys, sometimes I need him to take charge. I said that I know my behaviour gets to the stage of unacceptable and I don't expect forgiveness or understanding, but that I would like him to not give up on me, because i want us to get back to being happy like we were when ds1 came out of the 'baby' stage. It was like this for 4 months after ds1 was born, so I know we can get through it, it's just if dp thinks it's worth it.
I also said that we should try to leave the boys with my mum even for an hour or 2 once a week, so that we can have a drink, go for dinner, the pictures, or even just sit in the park on our own. Also that we need to talk more, and that I feel we need to be more open and honest with our feelings, as it's the only way our family will survive.
Things have been ok since he got home. We haven't spoken about it, just been normal. That's what we do every time though, just pretend it didn't happen. Not too healthy hey?
Now I just have to wait for him to read it and see what he thinks.........

I FOUND £1 coin in Ds1's nappy

It all kicked off here, but all calm now. Called the council and spoke to lovely man in evo health dept. The law only states that you can not burn tyres or cables it is not illegal to burn carpet or plastic unless you are a builder!!!!! He agreed that it is crazy law that is out of date (probably pre carpet days). He agreed it was awful and he couldn't believe anyone would be so stupid.
But there is nothing they can do..

Mark went around there and apparently it reignited by itself today and he wasnt there to put it out but was full of appologies, he was really upset when dp told him about jessica!

That is a stupid law. Why can you burn stuff but not if you're a builder? Am I missing something?
Glad your neighbour was upset, so he should be. I hate when people have even small fires in their gardens, I can't imagine it'd take much to spread, if not kept completely controlled.
If this is actually what happened, and it ignited itself, has your neighbour called the fire brigade to come and make sure it is safe and won't spark up again?
I'd give them a call.

His headmaster was very nice and even asked if he could have a cuddle with M! He said he'll do all he can to help out at school.

This talk of squashy squidgy babies has prompted me to ask if J and I are the only ones who haven't had sex since the baby was born? I'm really quite scared about it - possibly due to the problems we've had, but it's been so long I feel like a born-again-virgin !

PSL Don't rush into having sex again if you don't want to. It is a scary thought the first time.
Lots of lub might help you relax a bit.