June 2008: the One Show (almost)

[Essie3]

sponge two boys are amazing! Congrats!

puree hector over thermistocles anyday (especially for those of us that are spelling impaired!)

I think the pronunciation-impaired would take a while with Thermistocles.....

How about Cornelius, or Barnardo in homage to Sponges profession

Some of these are good too. LMAO at Kelsey Grammar's listing- three children with three different women!!

Oh, and please Sponge, call your child Pilot Inspektor (WTF??????????)

Congratulations Sponge

Congratulations Josey and Oli

In case you missed my last post am back after a lovely break away but now back in business once again, my puter is also struggling loading this thread so sorry if I don't get on it again until a new one starts

Yay Sponge!! Well done, you are very clever

And great news about Oli.

Pilot Inspektor... I like! lol

Welcome back Five

I sent my friend a long email this morning saying how sad I am that her son is not well but that she can't expect me to modify FB for her or anyone else and that it seems she just can't be happy that I am happy, and she has written back to say I haven't listened to or understood anything she wrote (ie I haven't agreed with anything she wrote!). She says she was hoping we could have a frank discussion about our feelings and move on. She obviously does not see how hurtful her email was to me. Time to let the friendship go I think. She obviously has issues, I did not say anything nasty or hurtful to her because I didn't want to hurt her the way she has hurt me, so I feel that I have done all I can. It is up to her if she wants to make contact in the future

Whinegums, I am sorry I said that about not responding to his cues, I should have known that you were the worst person to say that to about cc. Obviously I do not believe it is harmful, especially at around 12 months old. I agree with Abdn that as long as you keep checking on him (every five mins, every 10 or 20mins, whatever you feel is best) he knows you are there and that he is safe, but that it is time for sleep. If you know that he is tired and needs to go to sleep, you just have to be firm. If you worry that it is something else like teeth, well I usually give them a dose of Calpol just in case .

Is wine calpol for adults? Because I sure need some tonight. Dh working through the weekend too - deadlines! It just feels like it's been a crap week and this whole impetigo thing is really upsetting me. I think Fraser has it now, just a really tiny spot on his face, but it's impossible to keep his hands away from it so I'm really worried about it spreading.

Sponge hooray . Two boys is brilliant. That's so great. Now, what shall we call him? I assume everyone on this thread gets a say in naming him?

Abdn so sorry about the impetigo.

Hello to everyone else Welcome back from holidays 5.

Thanks for all your messages - BDQ, Neenz, Ali, Rolf, Abdn, all of you that posted. B finally went back to sleep after another 5 minutes last night, slept til 3.30, I let him come into bed with me then (which is the next thing to stop) and then slept til 8.15. I think he would have slept longer, but someone rang our buzzer and we both woke up. It's taken 25 minutes to get him to sleep tonight, exactly half the time of last night. It's hard, he sounds so upset and sad, but it's working.

He seemed ok today, maybe a bit quieter than usual, but I could be imagining that.

Neenz, it's ok, my head was all over the place last night, sarcasm was wasted on me!

Sponge, great news! Chuffed for you. I vote for Hector!

Abdn, I am on the adult Calpol right now. Hope you're ok - hugs.

Last night was tough - apart from CC, DP is away for a few days (in your neck of the woods Abdn). I ended up sending him an email about how crap he's been for the past year and how sad I am about the state of our relationship. I felt so much better for it, even if I could only do it by writing it down rather than talking to him. Anyway, he's back tomorrow, and we are going to try and work it all through, so I feel so much better. I think it's given him a shock, frankly he needed it.

Neenz, sorry to hear about your friend, it does sound that she has developed a strange way of looking at things. You've done all you can, as you say leave it up to her.

On a far more positive note, it's only 5 weeks to our holiday. And just over 3 weeks til birthday number one! We're having a party here, and then another one at my mum's - mountain to Mohammed and all that...

Whinegums - if it makes you feel any better you know they say that the first year of a baby's life is such a strain it really tests the most solid of relationships. Mark and I have really had our ups and downs and he's upset me so much sometimes I have felt I just wanted out but when you are desperately tired (especially with all your sleep nightmares) things feel so much worse don't they. I'm sure you'll get it all sorted out.

I hope that doesn't sound too flippant - it's not meant to. x

Amber, no, not flippant at all!! Thank you for posting. I know, it has been a hell of a year - in both good and bad ways. I was out with my friend who had a baby 3 months after B was born, and we decided we'd be better off if the two of us left the crap blokes and moved in together. Maybe I'll set up a mummy commune...

No, you're absolutely right Amber. It's the sleep deprivation that does it definitely. The world can feel like it's coming to an end when you are that tired. I am so glad you are getting somewhere with the cc, Whinegums. It is hard, and I think the hardest part is that it never really stops. You will get to the point where he settles really well, and sleeps through most nights, but there will be the odd time when he doesn't, and you have to go back to the cc. I have really struggled with that. I have found it easy to use cc when I have been trying to establish a routine etc, but when they cry at random times, and I don't know why, I have found it hard to just leave them. But it does work. You just have to use your instincts in that respect. Certainly what you are doing now is the right thing. Sorry about your DP. I really hope it is the kick up the backside he needs and you work it out.

I'm on the adult Calpol too . It's been an emotional week. But I think I have come to the conclusion that my friend has probably not been a good friend to me in a long time. I know she has had her problems, and I am desperately sorry about that, but it is not my fault and I have tried to be there for her and been rejected or ignored quite a few times. It is she who is the toxic friend, not me. I feel like a weight has been lifted. DH, though, read the emails for the first time tonight and seemed to think it wasn't that bad . Because interspersed with the stuff about me being smug and conceited, and hard and unsympathetic, she said things like 'I have always loved you and always will' and 'I really hope you will come to visit us one day in Australia'. I did wonder 'maybe I have misunderstood' but no I know I have not, I know that what she said was unfair, unreasonable and mostly very nasty. Men, eh? They just don't get it! Another friend was here today and she read the email and thought it was outrageous and that my reply was 'perfect'. She said I am definitely not the way my ex-friend said I am. Anyway I hope that is the last of it, it's getting a bit boring now

DH came home with flowers and chocolate biscuits tonight to cheer me up which was nice. E screamed the place down for 45 mins though before she went to sleep (see what I mean Whinegums?) but she is asleep now. She didn;t settle well at her lunch nap either, I think she wanted her BF. But other than that, not BFing has gone well. Still giving them a feed before bed till next week.

Abdn, really really sorry you are feeling down about Fraser . How long will it take to clear up?

Hi all, will try to reply to everyone!

ktpie, it's amazing what passes for a nap when you have an LO and are pg isn't it?! There was me enviously imagining that you were snoring away while J was playing like an angel, and all you're doing is closing your eyes in a fog of exhaustion! Sounds exactly what I do - although the SPD means getting from horizontal to vertical can take some time which can get interesting when I hear noises and am not 100% sure what A is up to .

AH, thanks for letting us have the update on Oli - fab news. And sorry to hear you've had a crap week .

Rolf, The West Wing isfab - we love it too. Puree, is v kindly sending The Wire to us so we look forward to some foul language here .

Loving the name choices btw - keep it up!! And thank you for all your lovely messages, I was really touched. It finally feels real and I'm so excited.

Pilot Inspektor is definitely top of the list btw!!

Neenz, when I was suffering from IF I didn't join things like FB cos I knew my friends all posted pics of their kids on there and lots of update and stuff. It would have been totally unreasonable for me to join and then bitch at them about talking about their kids, etc. That's just plain daft .

5, welcome back from your hols.

whinegums, hope you and your dh can sort stuff out face to face. I find that writing things down can be a good starting point for discussion. Life is so tough when you're tired and especially so if you feel like you're coping alone . Good luck with the CC - totally agree with Neenz on that one, it's soooo tough but sooo worth it.

Amber, lovely to hear about Luke's clapping !

Hope I haven't missed anyone. I'm off on hols for a week, taking a laptop but won't be around much - have a good week everyone.

Btw, did anyone watch Alex on the vid?

Whinegums - glad the cc s going OK, it's not easy is it? Sorry to hear about your problems with dp, writing it all down is the only way sometimes.

Neenz - gad you're feeling more positive about the situation with your friend.Bless your dh for the flowers and biscuits

Five - where did you go?

Abdn - impetigo sounds rough, you deserve the wine.

Hi Rolf, how are things with your dd1 now?

Puree - keep forgetting to say good luck with the ttc,

Poppy,Essie - where are you?

Josey - great news about Oli, you must be so, so pleased.
Ali - enjoy the tennis, Nigel will be watching and he's going to look out for you!

Ktpie - thanks, yes we're having a lovely time with my stepdad, just been out for a belated retirement/birthday meal for him.

Amber, Sybil, Going2, - hello everyone

I'm getting very excited at the prospect of coming to the UK on Sunday and seeing my Mum, she comes out here a few times a year but I haven't been to her house for 3 years so much easier for her to come to us. I can't wait. Stepdad is going to look after Ethan for a bit on Monday so Mum and I can hit the shops I'm looking forward to speaking English in the shops, listening in to people's conversations( I do miss that), and eating English things, think I'll ask Mum to get in some crumpets - lovely!!!

x posted Sponge - your video made me cry (again) when you say what you went through to have Alex, and who would have believed that you've just had your 20 week scan with ds2 -amazing. Alex was so sweet at the end, making his contribution.

Aw thanks Deb - he is such a cutie and really plays up to the camera!

Just had an email from the journalist who did our 'miracle baby xmas story' and she wants to do another one this year with Bill - hope he's as much of a showman as his brother!

Your trip to the UK sounds lovely - and your photo on FB of E with your step-dad was so sweet. I love seeing my dad and my FIL with Alex, it brings out such a soft side to them doesn't it?

Sponge, you're famous!! I work for a celeb mag, but on the next desk is a mag (New) that does real-life stories, so when I get back to work next month I could pass on your details - they pay £500 I think? I tried to watch the vid on FB but it only took me to the homepage of the site? I will try to look at the link from here later.

Debs, enjoy your holiday!!

Ali, enjoy the tennis. I was so chuffed for you when Murray got through!

OK, one more update about my friend . She sent me a message yesterday to say I haven't listened to her or understood her email, she said she was hoping it was just an FB thing but it obviously more than that (yeah, obvious to me). I sent her a message this morning to say I did understand her email but I do not even think I have done what she has accused me of (writing hurtful things on FB) and I can't be friends with someone who even suspects that I am friends with them to patronise them, feel better than or play a game of oneupmanship with. (She said that to me too in her initial email ). There is just no trust there IMO if someone can even think that that is why you are friends with them.

On the switch to cow's milk - E cried and cried this morning when I tried to give her her cup of milk. This went on for about 20 mins until she eventually gave in and scoffed the lot. I can only assume she wanted a BF even though she has been fine the other three mornings.

Whinegums - sounds as though you are making progress on the CC front. It is hard though, but as the others have said, such a relief once they have learnt how to self settle.

Neenz - sorry that your week has been so upsetting. I hope you can move on now. It has been interesting to hear that a few people have had similar experiences. A few years ago I was devastated when the person I regarded as my best friend didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. After the wedding, all calls, emails and letters dried up completely from her, so I had to take the decision to stop making contact. The rejection still hurts, even though I suspect she dropped me through being disorganised and me being a low priority rather than consciously stopping the relationship. If casual neglect is hurtful, I am sure than conscious abandonment must be so much worse.

Peter is exhausting me at the moment. Nappy changes are a wrestling match. He wont sit down in the bath. He has learnt how to switch the tap on which pours over his head and frightens him. He has learnt how to open the lounge door which then gives him access to the stairs. We went to a birthday party yesterday and he found: 1) the cat bowl to splash in 2) plants to rip up; 3) compost to poke around in; 4) slime in a manhole cover to explore, etc etc. He is very cute though and terribly pleased with himself about all of this.

I am looking forward to the tennis today, in part because it is a short break from my busy little boy

Sponge - I watched the video. Alex is such a little star. Peter enjoyed watching Alex too.

Ali I know what you mean about having a break! Hope you enjoy it. Peter sounds much like Theo - is it boys? E lies much happier for her nappy change, although I still have to 'pin' both of them. T is the one who resists the most though, and he is so strong. I have found that a firm 'sit down in the bath' then physically sit them down has worked for us, they tend to sit happily now. If they stand up I give them one warning then if they ignore me I get them out. They haven't learned how to turn the taps on yet though.

Sponge, that vid has made me want to cry, what a journey you have been on and now Spongelet No2 is on the way! Wow wow wow. Alex looked absolutely gorgeous and you looked great too. What great work they do, it has made me want to buy them a photocopier

OK, so this really really really is the last word on my trauma with my friend . She has sent an email back to me saying 'let's leave it here. You have hurt me, I have hurt you ( yes, the only difference being that I have not hurt her intentionally ). I don't think the damage can be repaired.' Well, at least she got one thing right!

Hi - can't keep up with all your chat. Am fine but had very exhausting week as e not sleeping well- touch wood seems better last day or so. Am so pleased re bill sponge . Neenz sad though it is for your friend - she is being a cow as there is no excuse for what she has said as it's not your fault. And I would agree with others that you are quite restrained on f b re the twins.
Happy birthday jamie and any others I have missed. Hi to everyone else but cup of tea and chocolate waiting while d h minds edie(Ali couldn't agree more re how exhausting it is keeping an eye on them. In France at mo and we are both wondering what possessed us to get a toddler height tv cabinet with slide out drawers ) .

neenz, I'm happy to contradict you - it does stop!!!! DS1 was a horrible sleeper and never slept throught until he was 18 months but he's brillant now. I am looking forward to lots and lots of sleep in a couple years

but definitely time to let your friend go - life is too short to waste on people who can't be genuinely happy for you!

And yes, we found the first year with a kid very very tough. I think it really was hard for DH to understand how tired I was, how much I'd had to change my lifestyle, and how jealous I was that he'd barely slowed down (in comparison). Our relationship is much stronger now and this time around DH has been much better at emotionally supporting me.

BUT I'm currently and at DH and need a rant - i asked him to put the antibiotic cream on Fraser this morning and he did - but not on the infected bit on his hand because "he might lick it off". Sure he might, but since that's the only medication we have, we have to use it. And he didn't bother to tell me about his decision not to use it either. I'm stressed because if it doesn't heal (and it got worse very quickly between 7am and lunchtime) then I wont be in work again on Monday and I've just barely got things under control at the office. Plus if he's contagious then we're completely isolated and have to avoid all other kids. Uggh!!! Why are men so stupid sometimes (please say it's not just mine!).

Abdn- I'm afraid they are all like that.....it is our burden to bear. On the plus side, there is chocolate and mummy juice to help ease the pain (((hugs)))

Sponge- happy holidaying. I finally got the video clip downloaded and sobbed my heart out. Alex is such a performer.

Aother awful night with toddlypearls- I just can't work out a) what is making her wake and b) what is keeping her from going back to sleep. CC doesn;t seem to work- she just winds herself up until she's sick and then I have to get her up t sort it all out.

Anyway- DH is out at a stag night, house guests have left and toddlypearls is (at the moment at least) asleep, so I am going to watch Arrmy Wives and go to bed.

Hi all, so much chat!

sponge hip hip hooray for the miraculous baby Bill I'm loving Hector....

BDQ think we're just going to have a birthday tea party for grandparents and godparent types and as C is still sick with egg containing foods - I get to eat ALL the cake!

whinegums sounds like you're definitely winning with the CC, sorry you've been feeling unsupported, if you want to have that coffee and cake that we had to cancel a while back - let me know!

5 glad you had a nice holiday

deb enjoy your trip!

rolf we loved the west wing, I wept during the last episode because I couoldn't believe it was no more (an because it had low viewing figures in the US as it was scheduled against extreme makeover home edition. this is a crime!) We currently are waiting for series 3 to start in BBC2

neenz sounds like you've done the right thing.

abdn boo to the impetigo

puree I did have to chuckle at the Clomid puree concept - sounds like it would make it easy to swallow!

Ali i had to laugh at your description of
Peter at the party - bless him!

we visited all my grandparents today, I spent a very funny 10 minutes watching my 85 year old grandpa and my 11 month old daughter crawling round and round in circles around an armchair playing peekaboo with each other. you've got to be impressed with that from a man of his age!

Those I haven't remembered to comment on, sorry! I've spent 45 minutes typing this, I meant to watch michael mcintyre!

we're waiting for the wire series 3, not the west wing! i shoud learn to proof read long posts!

Evening all. We're also having a terrible few nights here. DH just trying to put S down again now. Me and DH both very tired and being very grumpy with each other. Rubbish.

Whinegums, so you're a bit down with everything at the moment. It must be really tough and I hope things get better soon.

Apologies to everyone else, feeling to shattered to post anything coherent.