June 2008: the One Show (almost)

[Essie3]

Libra, hope you feel better soon - I think all our LOs are going through 'demanding' phases ATM! I am sorry you are feeling so low. I hope work is OK.

Wow Sponge, what a miracle! If the embryo was so determined to get through that hole and into your womb there's no way it is anything but holed up nice and cosy in there right now. No real reason to think otherwise, as the midwife said. But I don;t suppose any words of encouragement are helping atm are they?

I had a pretty bad night last night with the DTs. T cried for about 90mins from 7.30pm but then slept through which wasn't too bad but then E woke at about 11.30pm and didn't settle again till about 1.30am. I'm not sure why but they definitely have had a 'leap' recently cos now they are stacking things, putting things inside other things etc, just playing with things more purposefully. I think they were supposed to do that at about 9m according the babycentre but hey ho! I struggled to know what to do with them last night cos it is so unusual for them to cry like that. i tried to cuddle T but in the end had to just put him down and do cc, and the same for E too. I fed her but it didn't do the trick, so I just had to leave her. I actually fell asleep . I woke at 1.30am and she was asleep .

I am thinking about stopping BFing but not sure what they need instead. I BF them first thing, after lunch and before bed at the moment, so do I just give them a beaker of cow's milk at those times instead? I could give them milk with their meals but they drink quite a bit of water at the moment with meals so don't want to replace that with milk iyswim. I want them to drink both. Do you warm the milk or give it cold? I have bought two of [[http://www.amadeusail.co.uk/amadeus-productd.html these] cow cups. Should I sit with them as they drink it, like you would a bottle? Or just let them sit in their high chair? I am not that fussed about them getting 1 pint a day, but what's normal?

I had such a crap week last week, I felt really tied, I had post-holiday blues and DH was working hard, and when he was here I didn't really want him to have to do anything, just rest, so I was feeling really 'put upon' IYSWIM. I have new-found respect for single parents! Not getting any break at all was just horrendous. But I have had a couple of lie-ins now and spoke to DH about how I was feeling, and he said he will try to get home from work early one day and go in late one day so I can have a lie-in during the week. It is not really the sleep that I miss cos the DTs sleep well, it is more doing everything for them all day every day. For DH to get up, change their nappies and give them their breakfast is just such a treat for me. I was feeling really resentful last week, thinking how I have to do everything and it's such hard work, but then I felt bad cos I should be grateful that he works so hard so I can stay at home etc. Some people are just impossible to please! So that is one reason why I want to stop BFing, cos I think it will take a bit of pressure of me, and also we are going away in July and August for two days without them , and it will be easier all round if they are not BFing then. So any tips gratefully received!

LOL Neenz we filled a page!
Totally get you with wanting someone else to get the babies up. That makes all the difference in the world to me, which is silly; I can still get up at 6.30am but as long as someone else is getting Iestyn ready I just feel so much better!
The amadeus cow cups look fab - would anyone recommend? I love the way they look and it won't take much to get me to buy one. To add to the other 15 cups and beakers I have which are never touched. (That doesn't include the 20 bottles, although 12 of those are TT CTN ones.)
With stopping bfing, I have no idea how or when - although Tim did ask me last night and I said I was going to carry on for a long time and do it in public just to horrify the world! (I never intended to bfeed and thought it was yucky, so this is quite hilarious really.) Iestyn has 2 feeds, morning and evening. Occasionally one at 4.30 ish but not last week. He won't drink anything from a bottle, and very little from a cup - water, but not milk no way! - so I just make sure he has dairy in stuff: porridge, cheese, weetabix in the afternoon. He's fine, and has never been dehydrated, so it just goes to show what you can get away with! (All the other babies at nursery have a bottle mid-afternoon, and Iestyn won't even succumb to peer pressure. He sneers at them, laughs at them in a superior 'none of your pretend teats for me, losers' kind of way. )

No news from sponge yet? Neenz sorry you are going through it- I am totally done in(lucky not a work day) and compounded day dealing with slightly off e have sulking teenage ds after row last night with me( I am afraid I totally lost it when came down to find he had been sneakng in and out to see his girlfriend at 1am).

Ooh, hope you gave him hell, Poppy!

Seriously, must be very tough because you're a very young stepmother.

Essie I did - I am afraid my language was somewhat earthy (ESP on subject of his girlfriend who is persona non grata on account of smoking in garden etc every time she has been despite this being explicitly prohibited). But apparently I/ we are unreasonble! Prob not good as my earthy rant undermines fact he is in the wrong

Ooh Poppy, good luck with that! Were they both sleeping there, in different rooms? How old are they?

Thanks for milk advice, Essie. I think I am going to give them a cup of milk in the morning while I make their porridge, but really I wonder what to do at night? I think a BF settles them so what to do instead for the same effect? I think I might try them with a beaker of milk tonight and see how it goes. Theo is being really clingy atm so it might not be so successful!

Neenz - I have started thinking about stopping breast feeding as well, prompted by memories of sore boobs last time I was pregnant! He only has a feed before bed now, I used to do 3 feeds a day until a month or so ago but it seemed to be more out of habit than anything else so I just stopped the daytime ones and he didn't seem too bothered. I sometimes give him a bit of cow's milk during the day in a sippy cup but not really sure how much I should give him.
Hope you have a better night with the twins tonight.

Essie - we have a similar thing with DH seeming to have a more settling influence than me, worked to my favour when he used to wake up more in the night! I think he sees me and thinks about his tummy and decides he could do with a spot of milk, obviously not the case with DH.

Anyone else got a nearly one year old with no teeth? Going to the docs on wednesday so will mention it to her.

Just realised the time, am meant to be making tea! Sorry to anyone I haven't had chance to reply to!

Amber, Essie, you've made me feel better today cos I was beginning to think the DTs were a bit slow, not walking, not saying any words, not pointing at things, not trying to make themselves understood at all - but the can eat lumps and drink out of their cup .

Actually E took about six steps today on her own and she is so well ballanced, she just stands holding onto something, lets go, takes a few steps and then sits down - all totally controlled. She must have got my control freak nature

Theo also said 'mummy' today when I went to wake him from his nap, left him in the cot to go wake E, he shouted 'mummy' after me as I left the room! He is also saying daddy a lot too. So maybe they are not backward after all. Sorry, writing all that and thinking of Oli... sorry if it was insensitive .

x-posted ktpie - thanks for milk advice. My nephew had no teeth till after he was one. It is not common but it is normal!

Hi guys, sorry I didn't let anyone know that I was ok - went to see MW this morning at the drop in clinic. She was soooo lovely - totally appreciated my anxiety and listened to the HB. I cried . Alot .

Sorry to hear about all the rough nights - A has been a little unsettled since changing to cows' milk, but seems to have settled down.

Oh, and apologies for my rant on FB re: BNP. It wasn't aimed at anyone who replied to my status it was aimed at the stupid woman (can't bring myself to call her a friend) who was defending the BNP on my FB page. To say I was was an understatement.

Hi to everyone else x

Hello Thanks debs for updating everyone! Yep i am still here and may get on a bit more now all packing is done and dusted! feel a bit lost now dont know what to do!!!

Fleur is doing well we had 1 month check up last week all fine weight is avergae 50% 9kg 400g and height 104% hehe she is 78cm!!! Well she is half dutch. We are on cows milk here now just 300ml at 7pm before bed the other 200ml she has in cereal in am, yogs, cheese and sauces etc. She is pulling herself yp everywhere and anywhere and is gabbling nineteen to the dozen!! Naps are all over the place but we just put her down when she is tired routine will all change when we go to Holland for example today she only slept 15 mins!!! all day!!!

Well a big wave to all im gonna try and get on for few mins every eve now my head is clearer!!

ktpie you might want to wait until your 12 weeks pregnant to stop BF as your milk changes taste around then anyways and your LO might just reject it. It worked for me anyways and was very non-traumatic.

I'm also wondering when to stop BFing. I was thinking that Fraser wasn't interested anymore and I should stop soon, but then in the past week he's been very very keen so now I'm not sure.

Oh and thanks for all the birthday wishes for Fraser - it was a great day!

Hi Paro- bet you are busy but so glad to hear all is well.

Likewise Sponge- so glad you had a nice MW

Poppy- I have no idea how I would handle that situation but I'm guessing I'd go down a similar path!!

Ali- sounds exhausting. We have Gymboree on a Wednesday and CJ is so knackered she can barly walk. As am I!!

Neenz- what sort of bedtime routine do you have? I ask because, around the time I started dropping BF I 'created' a bedtime routine of bath, pjs, milk, story, song, cuddle bed. Admittedly I didn't have your staying power as far as feeding goes, but it seems to work for us. CJ doesn't have milk during the day (or indeed at all at the minute, but that's another rant altogether) just first and last thing. Maybe the way to step down would be to ditch the lunch feed first?

Essie- loving the Lands End link.

ktpie- I used to look after a little girl who cut her first tooth and learned to crawl the week she turned one. She's a friend on FB now and is a very normal (if a little scary) teenager!!

Amber- same girl didn't eat lumpy food until two.

Long night here too- CJ wke crying at midnight and would not go back to sleep in her own bed. She screamed and cried and had a full-on tanty about being put back in her cot. I have raised a monster1!!

I think they are all being like that atm by the sounds of it Puree! And I am totally with you on the feeding themselves/mess front - I won't let T and E near their own spoon yet and keep sticking my head in the sand thinking 'the longer I wait the better they'll be at it and won't throw it round the kitchen!' I figure it is like potty training: the older they are the easier it will be. It is working for us so far anyway.

Thanks for the post re. milk. At the moment we do bath then feed then bed. I am going to drop the morning and lunch feeds first and see how they get on the cow's milk at those times. So tomorrow morning I am going to bring them straight downstairs and give them a beaker of milk in their new beakers. They normally drink loads first thing so I think that will probably be a success. Then like you I will prob just give them milk at bedtime, not at lunch. Will just drop the lunch feed (will make putting them to bed for their nap much easier and quicker ). I have been feeling a bit funny about stopping, it feels like the right time but there is still that sense of am I doing the right thing. But after a few days we'll be fine. I am just a bit anxious I suppose about how it will go. Once we are into it I will probably love it .

One more question, Puree - what does C drink her bedtime drink out of? I know you don;t give her a bottle so do you sit her on your knee with a beaker and give her a cuddle, read a story or what?

Sponge, never thought your BNP rant was aimed at any of us! It is very entertaining

Sounds like a plan Neenz. CJ drinks her milk out of tommee tippee classic cup whilst sitting on my knee in the rocking chair in her room, although she does sometimes just sit and sip it herself. We do cup then story then song then bed, all on the knee with a bit of wriggling.

Lol Neenz, I was incensed by the silly cow - she's never been the sharpest tool in the box but I didn't think she was quite that stupid!

CJ doesn't drink milk, you say, Puree? I'm interested!
Iestyn has persevered and had all of his drinks today out of his tommee tippee cup! This could make life so much easier. He also settled quickly, but he only had 1 nap today - and he's done this a few times last week too. Maybe he's adjusting his sleep or something? Do babies do that?!

Neenz glad I'm not the only spoon dodger here...I'm also fearful of the mess... And also feeling weird about stopping bfing but at the moment it doesn't seem to be the right time - we're down to two secret ones, and he seems happy with that. Or is it just me... Weirdly, though, the first one to go I think will be the bedtime one. He only really concentrates properly in the morning.

Would anyone recommend the Tommee Tippee suction thing for bowls? Puree? Does it work 100%? I fear that 0.01%, and my upholstery...

Going to bed now - to read. This early settling has unsettled me - he might wake in the night and/or at 6am. That 4.44 wake up call still haunts me... (I may not have posted that 'anecdote' because I was too shattered, but when Tim was doing his judging Iestyn woke at 4.44 one morning. I saw the clock and thought f, a four letter word... That was it for the day, too. It was a shit day.)

Has anyone just watched the ITV programme about children with sleep disorders? Having been through a tough time with a baby who would not sleep I feel so sorry for those parents who haven't slept for years.

Neenz I was interested in your question about dropping BF. I am considering this at the moment. However I do feel a bit trapped into it at the moment as I don'tt know "How" to stop now they are at an age when you don't switch to bottles. All your replies have helped. How though do you know that they are getting enough? Maybe Essie's experience shows that I don't really need to worry. Anyway...here is the most superficial reason in the world for stopping: all my white nursing bras are now grey, and can't be worn with strappy summer tops. Secondly, my cup size must have gone down too and so I don't properly fill the bras. Consequently I am desperate for new nice underwear. I also want to be able to wear dresses without thinking about how to feed in them. More seriously, I am getting fed up of being prodded and scratched as P feeds. We are mostly down to 3 feeds a day. I think that the hardest one for me to drop would be first thing in the morning as that is when he comes into bed with us, and I try and eek out as much time as possible in bed before I have to get up. Unusually I suspect, the bedtime feed would be ok for us to drop. When we were having sleep problems I started to BF him before his bath to break the suck to sleep association. Routine is now: tea, play, milk, bath, dressed, read, bed. DH even decided not to bother with formula one night when I was out and just gave him lots of water at dinner . You know what P had one of his best sleeps ever.

Wow, some lengthy posts today

Essie - thanks for the links, tankini's look good. Don't confuse me with more bibs though, I've ordered some from Bibetta (?)

Neenz - looking after 2 on your own must be so hard, I agree single parenting must be so difficult.

got to go , Ethan 's screaming

X-posted Essie. Why/ what makes the two BFs secret exactly?

Aaarrrggghhhh. Wrote a mammoth post earlier. Full of links, questions and answers and my fecking internet explorer crashed. I had just controlX'd my post as I was about to go to a new page, but it obviously didn't save it.

Grrrrr. Dont think I had anything outstanding to add to the conversation, I did link to the roll up tommee tippee bib though Deb which I think is fab over any old cheapy long sleeve bib. The pocket on it is great and you can pick it up for a couple of quid just about anywhere.

Love the cup you linked to Puree - think I'll add that to my ever expanding cup collection for S.

Anywaty, I'm way to fecked off to try and remember everything I said. I did say hello to just about everyone in my missing post .

Am off to start a thread about books for 1 year olds... Will come back and link.

Ok, back again, don't know what all that fuss was about but he's settled again now.

Neenz - are you really worried about the development of E and T? They always sound like they're doing fine to me..

Sponge - have replied on FB but I am so pleased that all is well with Babybill

Poppy - teenage hassles, I'm really not looking forward to that, well done for standing your ground.

Essie - you do realise what your upholstery/carpets will look like once I is a fully fledged toddler with a fistful of crayon/biscuit/shampoo/soil/play-doh/glitter(evil emoticon)... add any other item you wouldn't want spread around your house!

Amber tell me again did you do the cranial osteopathy with Luke? Tristan was a terrible sleeper and only improved after having his adenoids out, he was also not a great eater until last year when the c.o started doing exercises with him stretching his neck literally as the muscles were very tight meaning that eating was uncomfortable for him.Now he eats really well. - and sleeps thank God, unless his room-mate Ethan wakes him up like tonight.

Giving up the breastfeeding - well I'm with Ali in that I am so fed up with my nursing bras , they are horrible and don't fit anymore but I can't justify new ones at this stage. I want to carry on until at least next week though as I want to be able to offer a feed if needed on the plane -landing and taking off. Might be something for you to consider too Ali? Ethan doesn't drink enough from a cup at the moment to drink during those times, and obviously too young to suck a sweet or lolly. So I figured he could make do with me.

Also despite being fed up of the bras and being tied to Ethan at bedtimes etc, I still love that it's the thing that only I can do and does give me cuddling opportunities, and I'm also very sad at the thought that this will be the last time I'll be breastfeeding, and I think I'm going to take a while to get used to that. I know, I know rationally I should be feeling great that I was able to bfeed and for so long , but it's just the end of an era.

Sorry for the ramble

My book thread here.

Interested in all the dropping milk chat btw. S is FF but I'm really keen to try and drop his daytime feed and then try and switch to cows milk for other feeds as soon as poss after he turns one. However, despite me now giving him a large yoghurt before his afternoon milk, he's now draining the entire bottle. Wee bugger.

BDQ - thanks - I have the tt roll up bib but Ethan doesn't like it at all - don't know why.

nursing bras - I've given up on mine and am wearing some t-shirt bras from M&S that I just pull up to feed F. I'm not feeding him in public anymore so I don't really care that's it's a bit awkward. And I'm back down into my A-cups and they don't really make nursing bras that small .

DH has definitely appreciated the new (old) bras and has suggested that I go shopping for myself to get some nice (not too sexy/dirty - he'd end up laughing at me I feel! just non-grandmotherish) ones. Any recommendations for shops? Does bravissimo go down to an A-cup?