Fab Feb 2009: too sleep deprived to think of a new thread title

[dinkystinky]

'nuff said

Oh and MrsY- I stole all of the remaining Lindts and scoffed them all on the way home

eek, don't talk to me about runaway toddlers.... dd is an expert at vanishing acts. glad you found her katieblirdsnest... aaron is like your ds by the sounds of it... full of life at home but refuses to wake up when we're out with friends or have family round to see him. my mom and dad have barely seen him awake yet!

swampy... i've had days like that with dd... some of them not very long ago considering she's 4 now no matter how many pants you pack you'll always be short imo. that's why i'm taking the more relaxed half pants half pull-ups approach with ds1... the cold turkey approach was horrendous for all involved with dd!

dinky, we've tried standing up too. he thinks it's great fun switching between sitting and standing and moving the step around and waving his penis all over the place and doesn't concentrate for long enough to do anything >>

Hi all, it was lovely to meet all you people today even though the 4 hours or so I was there seemed to disappear ridiculously fast. I also wished I'd been able to bring ds1, but today wouldn't have been the day for it as he's not been at all well today according to reports from the CM. Mslucy, I'd been going to come over and say hi to you again, but was feeding/changing the baby and feeding him again, and finally had a hot drink (I don't do those while feeding/holding baby because I'm too clumsy) and it was nearly 4 pm already.... think you'd gone and it was time for those of us still left to make our way home.

Time really did fly didn't it?

I fed Luke the minute we got home asd he didn't drink his afternon bottle, so when I git him ready for bed an hour and half later, I prepared another bottle so he could have a top-up, but he wouldn't letme get it anywhere near him and he settled to sleep alot uicker. I think he was exhausted.
Ds1 on the other hand took over 2 hours to settle. Dp doesn't think that has anything to do with the fact he had a 4 hour nap I told dp to keep him up and not put him to bed at normal time, but he said it'd be ok as ds1 was still tired, #I said he wasn't and wouldn't go to sleep, dp said he would. It's not like I don't know ds1 inside out or anything.........

Morning, lovely to meet some of you yesterday, sorry I left quite early but I had arranged to meet my best friend at victoria at 2.30. Anyway, I had a lovely time, and DS certainly did (not sure about dh who had to keep up with him for 2 hours though )
Harriet must have been exhausted by the whole experience- she slept 9-6 and has gone back to sleep already
Have to echo what others have said- what beautiful babies and children the Fab Febbers have produced!

Where is everyone???
Horrible night here last night. Second night in a row that I may have had 3/4 hours max. I'm my own worst enemy though, dp got in at 6:30 and said he'd get them up and feed Luke, I told him I'd decided not to take lay-ins off him anymore because nothing else will get done. I could be in bed until 10am and no one would be dressed, there'd be no bottles ready, and it means \I have to rush around for the rest of the day, so I got up and he went to bed. Luke poo'd through his sleepsuit and vest, while I was getting him dressed in his day clothes ds1 threw a very big, very heavy book on his head (I was knelt on the floor over Luke and didn't see it until it came), so Luke's screaming (he's ok, more of a shock I think), and I'm shouting at Ds1, so he's crying, he then tries to throw a toy train at Luke so I yell again, now I'm crying. Dp gets up and tells me to get into bed and he'll take them out for the day (bare in mind he has worked from 10pm til 6am and has to do the same tonight), I told him to f*ck off and I don't need any favours from him. He said my trouble is that nothing's ever good enough, I told him it was more of a case that not nothing is ever good enough, more that everything is never good enough iyswim? He tells me to stop crying and that I'm being stupid, so now we're yelling at each other and ds1 is hiding in his bedroom
Dp's sitting on the sofa now waiting for I don't even know what. I've told him to go to bed, he's suggested we go out for the day, he is so annoying!!

Listen to me? What is wrong with me? I have a good man (most of the time), why am I so damned unreasonable and horrible to him? I am really nasty to him all the time. I think I need to seek therapy or something. He does really annoy me sometimes, it's not like he demands praise, but he has this way of making me feel like I should be really grateful that he has done anything to help care for his children. Does anyone know what I mean or am I just completely crazy?
You can be honest, I won't be offended when you tell me to get a bloody grip

I think what really annoyed me is that dp allpowed ds1 to sleep for 4 hours yesterday day time, put him to bed as normal while I was sorting Luke and then f'd off to work to leave me dealing with a stroppy toddler who's full of beans at 3am.

Sorry for the moan there. I bet you're all getting bored of me and my negativity!
On the positive, when I got back yeterday, Jacob pointed out my eyes and ears and said the words too! I don't think it'll be too long now until he's talking properly

SMS think the trouble is................................................................. you live with a man

On top of that, you have hormones, sleep deprivation and children to deal with.

Try going and giving DP a hug, as you say he is a reasonable guy and am sure if was just the two of you, having had ots of sleep, on a sunny day, you'd love to spend the day together. Don't lose sight of that when all these distractions get in the way.

Second bad night in a row here. DH went off to work with less than 3 hrs sleep (he didn't go to bed as early as me, but didn't sort the kitchen out, etc while he stayed up late doing who knows what..see, they'e just men). Luc has decided that he can go longer between feeds in the night, but can't digest them. So, he keeps wailing at 130am until he's had a poo, following a lot of wind, all which seems painful.

Upshot is little to no sleep, had to cancel my day out today - again! (was a reschedule from last week) and have to get a lot of washing/drying done so he has somewhere to sleep tonight. Of course, Luc has dropped off on me so can do nothing now.....will wake up if I move him, so not sure.

Am sure he'll be sleepy today, but not sure whether to let him or not. Poor thing must be as knackered as we are.

my god.... i seem to have bred a baby that has actually settled himself into a little routine how did that happen? third time lucky i guess!

he was awake all afternoon yesterday, had a little feed just before dp got home, then another little feed at 7.30, played happily in his rocker til 9... then dozed off and was asleep til 2am i tried waking him at 10.30 to have a little feed as i was afraid he'd wake as soon as we went upstairs but he took one gulp and went back to sleep... not keen on dreamfeeds this lad! he was a bit cross in the early hours but was happy again once i changed his nappy and slept til 9am.

he's been so quiet and content the last couple of days, it's lovely

dp's wages are in early so think i'm going to head to tescos and get the shopping done... should be fun the mood dd and ds1 are in

SMS - I agree with Beantin; you're tired and hormonal and emotional so things seem really bad. Clearly you know in some way that you have a good man in DP - its just he differs from you massively in his parenting ways, which causes tension. My DH is the same - he used to let DS1 sleep far too long in the afternoons or forget to give him his morning milk (so the poor boy was starving) which were things I'd never do, but he'd do other things with DS1 which I'd never do which DS1 loved (boy bundling games for the most part) so its good that DS1 and DS2 get to experience both forms of parenting from you. Give DP a hug and explain why you were so frustrated and am sure things will be better.

Beantin - sorry you had another bad night. Is the cranial osteopathy helping at all with Luc? Have they given you any suggestions of things you can do at home with him (bicycling legs etc)? May be worth asking at the next session.

Only had the two sessions with osteo. Las time he checked for any potential probs with his digestion, which there weren't.

Cycling his legs does nowt.

all 3 of mine have had similiar problems with wind at the other end... they resist bringing up burps with a vengance and get quite upset doing so.

one thing i heard suggested when dd was little and worked a bit with her to prevent tummy wind was making absolutely sure she burped after each feed, even if it meant waking her up to do so. if they don't bring up the burp the air travels through their digestive tract and can be quite uncomfortable.

Morning everyone,

I did promise yesterday that I'd get myself back onto MN so here I am! It was lovely to meet everyone, I had a really nice afternoon. And I also proved to myself that I can get a train and a bus with a buggy all on my own. Woo hoo!!

SMS - I also have issues with my DH over different ideas of how to deal with DS and we've had a couple of monumental rows over it. I've ended up having to pull the 'I'm the primary carer' card i.e. I'm with DS all the time so it's only fair that DH should support me in how I'm dealing with DS rather than coming in and doing his own thing and leaving me to pick up the pieces when he goes back to work. I think he thinks I'm a bit militant sometimes, but I'm not prepared to have awful nights on my own when he's off on a night shift because he's decided to feed Alex early or do things a different way etc. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, remember that you're sleep deprived and hormonal so you're bound to react more strongly to things.

Right, Alex is starting to get narky so I'm off to make a bottle. And maybe to start on the easter egg I've bought for DH. Would that be wrong?

That wouldn't be wrong at all QuestionKid!! Last night DH and I poliched off an Easter Egg that someone had dropped round for DD. Good to meet you yesterday! I had a lovely time too and it felt good to be out and about - and I felt very free and relaxed without DD .

Thanks Dinky for the Dr Brown's bottles - I managed to by a couple of size two teats on my way home, so we'll see how it all goes for the next few days. I have to say that Sam only cried for about half an hour yesterday evening - maybe because he's slpet all day he was well rested and not over stimulated . He then slept from 10pm to 3am, but then sadly was unsettled from then until he next fed at 6.30am, so no more sleep to be had. He's been asleep all morning now.... I really do try to wake him, but he only manages a couple of hours awake each day. He saves being awake for the nighttime.

PT at Aaron being so settled - long may it continue!

DD currently refusing to eat anything for breakfast, lunch and tea except vegetables and Rice Krispie Shapes. However she eats everything at nursery.

SMS - sounds alot like DH and me at the moment. Just try to get through the next few months as calmly as possible ... easier said than done. DH and I are hardly speaking to each other at the moment. No big row or anything; he's fed up that I talk about babies etc most of the time, and I'm fed up that all he's interested in is the stock market and spends most of his time at home "checking the market". When I looked at the computer screen last night, he was looking at a mountin bike site . Sorry to hear about Luke being bashed with the book. I've surprised myself with the shouting but everyone keeps telling me it WILL pass. I just hope it passes without any permanent damaged to Sam - he has a scratch mark on his head from a slap from DH this morning.

I'm seriously considering booking DD in for 3 days a week at nursery for the next month or two (she does 2 currently). She's so happy there and I'm struggling with the lack of sleep and Sam's colic so I don't think I'm dealing with her very well. I'm hoping I'll be a better mum in the summer!

Better go for now but trying to make more of an effort to keep up to date with the thread and post more often. It keeps me sane!!!

buy not by

That's better. I gave myself time to adjust to a new nickname and I just can't do it! Sorry if this will confuse anyone, but I really am not feeling SMS, I'm feeling lbb.

Feeling a bit better than this morning. I've given ds1 his lunch and put him down for a nap, so hopefully he'll wake up in a better mood. He has had a temp of 38 degrees all today and last night so e's on nurofen which seems to be brnging it down slightly for a little while.

We are supposed to be visiting my SIL and her family next week for a long weekend, so I have just called her and told her tempers are flying a bit and that her brother actually shouted at me, so I know things aren't good (he's yelled at me twice now in 3 years), she said 'oh dear, yeah if he's shouting too, it must be bad'. So she has agreed that for one evening when we are there me and dp can leave the boys and go for a few drinks, and as it's not local, I'm hoping it'll actually feel like we've been out iyswim. I'm not going to tell dp until we're there though

Welcome back LBB!!!

Thanx. When I name changed, I was really fed up and quite bored. Now, I normally change my hair when that happens, but decided to name change and I just haven't felt right about it tbh.
Although it's one of my fav songs, it's not the fav song.

Sorry you had a crap night too. Hard to know what to do for the best all round isn't t?
We've all been saying how hard this must be for the toddlers and I think we/'re all cutting the older ones a bit of slack, but when does the 'well he needs extra help adjusting to the baby' become a piss poor excuse?
What I'm asking, is when can I go back to CC or another form of leaving ds1 to go to sleep on his own without being really mean?

Morning all...
LBB sorry you're having more issues. It is hard and I think we all struggle to get it "right" particularly when for the most part the primary carer knows what's best for their kids. If it's any consolation I find I get really testy with Dh when he doesn't do things quite the way I want - I am a control freak though (for eg DD wakes early from the long nap she manages to do fine every day when I do it but screams through it when I leave her with him and wakes earlier in the night when he does the late feed for eg)...and still asks me when DD needs a feed and how much - I also use the "well I'm left to pick up the pieces when you don't do it my way" card BUT he is great with both kids and has a heart of gold and I just melt when I see them doing "jobs" together and them snuggling up on the sofa and taking baths together. Then I feel unreasonable for being so horrible to him about the "trivial" things......

Sorry I missed the meet up yesterday - but sounds like you had a great time - I'd love to come to the next one though.

STW sounds like you might need another day on your "own" with Sam - at least if DD loves nursery you know she's getting lots of attention and has company her own age. DS does nursery two days too and my in-laws come one day a week every other week and even with a non-colicky baby I find the break is a real welcome....Do it if you can afford it,I would.

Taking DS to his little football thing this afternoon - he does love it - its' so sweet seeing those 2- 3 year olds running around in their footie kit trying to be controlled by the "coach"...... It's good for a laugh anyway.

DD has been miserable all day today. Like PT I was just thinking the last couple of days what a poppet she was - chilled and grinning between feeds and sleeps and then she woke at 3.30am miserable as you like fed and did go to sleep after a while but has been miserable since then.....oh dear. She did fill her nappy in a big way though just before lunch so hoping that was the problem.

Must go.....

Check in later !

Hi all

Very of the meet up yesterday. I couldn't make it due to hosp appointment taking much longer than I thought. Nevermind - perhaps I'll get along to the next one.

LBB - nice to have you back! Oh dear, you are having a hard time with DP and DS1. I have been pretty strict with my DS as his behaviour really got bad the first few weeks after DD was born. To be honest I think that the more they get away with the more they'll try it on at that age. I had to resort to controlled crying with DS after two weeks of awful nights after we brought Lilian home and he has now had over three weeks of sleeping soundly without any nightly screaming and is a much happier boy as a result. Apart from a couple of sly pinches, he has been brilliant with DD so far, but we have been very careful to make sure his routine has stayed the same and not to lavish too many kisses on DD when he is around!

MS - at least they were appreciated! and not all by me... I have to say, I think THOM's name for the zip slide was by far the best - Death Slide!!!

It was great to see you all - STW next time I owe you a cup of tea and a bus fare!!! back 'pinged' when I tried to get out of bed, so I'm now flat out on my back while my mum runs around - would be lovely, except I'm in agony!

Was so exhausted I slept from 9 'till her feed at 6 (waking briefly when John came up at 11:30), but I'd kicked off the duvet so was freezing (as John has turned off the heating - grrrr) and my
How much time do people's bubs spend awake and playing during the day? M still seems to sleep for most of the time between her feeds and then sleeps all day - is she under stimulated? Or am I not doing the right things? Paranoid first-time-mum alert !

Luc stays up for up to 2 hrs, including feeding. Sometimes he wants to play more than others.

MrsY Re M's sleeping, I would honestly say, you are the lucky one She's a week or so younger than Luke, I think......I doubt she is under-stimulated at this age as there isn't really that much to do, and tbph, it is far easier to have a baby this age that is over-stimulated resulting in tempers and frustration all around. For the moment, I wouldn't change a single thing if I were you, it sounds absolutely fine. I am very and am quite tempted to send both my boys to your house so you and M can show them how it's supposed to be

Calico Thanks. That's what I was planning to do at first, not let ds1 act-up any more than normal but I found myself saying 'no' all of the time so decided to lay off him a bit and concentrate on the behaviours that were posing danger to him and ds2, so now I am doing all the things I vowed I'd never do like bribe him withh food, not make him put his toys away, but the thing that is winding me up the most is that now he won't go to sleep unless I stay with him, so I'm doing that and I hate myself for allowing it to happen. I have never had ds1 in bed with me until the arrival of ds2.
Having another baby has sent me a bit soppy. I just feel so sorry for ds1 that I've started letting him have his own way withut even realising it! So when I start preahing about the advantages of bedtime routines and strict rules like I know it all, tell me to have a long hard look at what's happening here......

I started the CC last night. Ds1 became soo distressed that dp wanted to go and sit with him which ~I didn't allow because that shows ds1 that if he cries fgor long ebough, he'll get what he wants doesn't it. Didn't quite work as I went in to him at one of the 5 min intervals and he had had a big old poo so had to get him up to change him anyway!

It's been 9 weeks since Luke was born, so maybe now is the time to put all my rules and routines back in plkace then.

LBB - nice to see you back as your original self.

STW - hope the bottles help with the colic. And as for your DD - at least with her eating of vegetables she's getting her 5 a day! And I think upping her nursery days sounds like a good idea - it'll give you a bit more of a break (and hopefully you'll get some rest in during the day while Sam's sleeping) and hopefully make life easier to cope with.

MrsY - Danny's awake times vary from half an hour to 2 and a bit hours (though when that happens he generally goes into meltdown). The average wakeful session (including feeds) is around an hour. He only spends around 20 minutes of his awake time during the entire day on his play mat (and goes crazy with excitement - its like he's disco dancing the music playing on the play gym) - the rest of the time he's being played with by me or his nanny or his big brother or just watching things going on around him in his bouncer (he has been known to spend a good 20 minutes "talking" (you know, in those baby squeaks and proto-sounds) to the washing machine while I sort out dinner ). So long as you're tending to M's needs and spending time talking to her when she's awake, she's getting plenty enough stimulation.

Pink - DS1 has managed 5 wees in the potty today and one accident - in a box again (a different one this time)! I am getting seriously worried about his pissed tramp-like tendencies around cardboard boxes - may need to ban cardboard boxes from our house until operation potty train is over...