November 2008: WE Are Not Interested iN eatinG yet!

[ChocOrange05]

Here we go ladies, thanks for giving me the honour of starting us off again!

Sorry for me post, but a bit distraught.
I am being reported to social services. Gp prescribed ad's. in conversation said i had shouted at jack. she asked if i had ever smacked him. i said in 5 yrs, yes, 3 times. she said smacking isillegal. she phoned me when i got home to say she was 'duty bound to protect the children, and thus had to report me to ss.
dh is not happy.
what do i do ?

Crikey OBV - 1st don't worry can you discuss this further with the gp ? Ok so they have probably made the phone call but i think that they should explain the reasoning and what you should expect to happen. I am guessing that you will get a visit from a social worker who will ' assess you' and fill out lots of forms . Ok so you have smacked Jack 3 times in 5 years - I would challenge most parents to honestly say that they have never ever slapped hands,or a tap on the bottom when the child is in danger or when lets be honest they do something that deserves it. A Smack does not mean you have brutally battered your child .
DOn't worry I am sure all will be fine - maybe it is as they have prescried ads for you as well.
You are a wonderful mum and you love your little ones and don't let anybody tell you otherwise .

Holy crap, Obs. Has your GP not got enough work to do or something? What a cow. After Baby P a memo will have gone out to all Social Services and NHS staff getting them to be vigilant in case they cock up again - they will see you and realise that your kids are in good hands and then bugger off to do some real work. Fume fume fume.

Well done for gettin the ADs, you should be proud that you are sorting things out, not getting hassled by jobsworths. Fume. Want me to come over and fume at the doc for you?

Ceebs, Sam looks like a different (but incredibly adorable and cute) baby! Fin is now a fluffy strawberry blond instead of a spiky auburn - will post a recent pic of him looking silly.

Oops, end of naptime. Damn that baby monitor.

Obs - what the others said! I got prescribed drugs for PND 3 days ago and she never even asked if I'd been angry towards DD, just whether I'd considered self-harm and my PND is also PMT-style moods rather than depression. That's the last thing you need to worry about when you have depression, I know if that had happened to me I would be having sleepless nights as a result even tho rationally I know it will all blow over.

As the others have said the social services will see far far worse and won't even bat an eyelid, you may get a visit because of the recent hoo-ha about social services not doing their jobs but I doubt it will go further than a cup of tea and a quick chat.

I hope the drugs work for us both!!

fucking hell Obs, that just shit, really shit and . As far as I'm aware it's only illegal in under 3s, and although he is right in wanting to protect children, I think his efforts should be concentrated on someone who has done more than the cursory smack.

This is really not on. SS will see that there is nothing to worry about, then you can report your GP to the PCT or whoever is in charge of GPs for being more than a wee bit out of order. I'd be changing GPs quick smart, and also having a word if I were your DH.

I would be surprised if SS even follow it up tbh and they are not the child snatching demons they are often portrayed as in the media.

And I hope the ADs sort you out {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

obs 2nd what daisy says. That really is shit. I thought your Dr had ruled out PND last week (or maybe even the start of this one?) Why have they changed their mind??

Call me if you want to chat

londonboots, my friend said burts bees is A LOT cheaper there. You should buy a load and sell it to all of us . Bet it would go like hot cakes. V jealous. I love the good ol US of A despite being snobby about it for years and years.

rosa great news on dress

ladybuzz, so glad for your good news on dh. it'll be so great to have him back helping out, and be able to keep working out all the rest of the stuff. Keep up the dates if you can though (not that dh and I have managed even one since the babies came!).

daisy am v . but not of the pain!

chocO, i used to forget to eat when stressed/ unhappy in a kind of highpowered/ intense emotion kind of way, but it's different with the general drudgery of being at home, now eating is one of the most stimulating and pleasurable things in my life (hence comfort eating!).

sorry obs missed your post. smacking is not illegal. even smacking with an implement is not illegal (though it has not been taking to court in UK, only Europe). Do not worry. Social Services have too much to stress about (even in Surrey). What a weird GP. Am .Is it your usual? What???? Hope you are ok. You must be feeling it.

my goodness, Obs thst is ridiculous. But from experience at work etc and DH's work I would be suprised if SS do anything. But how awful for you.

It is exactly the sort of thing women fear when they feel they need to admit they are struggling. I have felt a bit similar about raising certain things with my therapist.

Just googled it obs cos was talking from memory! I think this is it: "Only 43 per cent of people understood the law in England and Wales that states that mild smacking is legal but any blow which leaves a mark on a child is illegal and could result in action." Obviously your GP is one of the 67% who have no idea of the law and really should not be shouting things at you which are not true. Get dh to complain about her.

guardian article

that's agood point Pinky; it's exactly things like this that stop women from asking for help; the thought that they will lose their children.

I know of women who have done far worse when depressed and have never even seen a social worker.

try not to sorry obs, please. but do make a complaint about this GP to the practice manager or whomever.

Hello,
obs really feel for you and agree with all the advice that the others have given, I do think they are being over cautious what with all the goings on but they are going about it in the wrong way, I dont think ss will bother and your gp is just being as someone earlier said a "jobs worth". I know its easy to say dont worry but try and think about this logically you are a great mother and have been through alot lately, I agree that you should complain or DH should complain about this gp.
It has been a sunny day up here and we went for a walk this am which was good but on the way back it felt like my heart missed a few beats and I panicked, has any one else had this? it was quite scary and i felt fine afterwards I had this a few times last year and went to gp then and he said most people get this but I probably noticed it more. Its maybe stress I have had a few things on my mind recently and keep thinking about the helicopter crash its awful and my dh is on these all the time I just try not to think about it, I also know a wife and daughter of one of the men that are missing. I guess when something like that happens it kind of puts things in perspective.
lb happy you and you dh are working things out.
Hope all poorly people are feeling s bit better.

Thinking of you obs, you poor thing, echo what the others say, definatley not on.

how are the poorly peeps feeling today?

ellielou - i have had exaclty this with my heart last year - it happened quitet alot and being the hyperchondriac that i am, ended up with ECG's and heart rhythym monitors for a week - all clear. Was also told it was put down to stress, although was also linked to acid reflux as i would egt it after certain foods, and found it eased if i pressed down on the top of my stomach, under the rib cage.
It is scary though, i hate it when it happens to me, i think this is what triggered off panic attacks in me last year?
Try to de-stress, and i was told lay off caffeine, tobacco, sugar and chocolate for a while, and funnily enough - they did stop. (life was pretty dull though!)

Obs that is ridiculous - surely if you were a mother who smacked her children in a bad way you wouldn't be admitting it to your GP!! What a load of rubbish - as someone who has seen you in action, you are a great mum and even if SS visit they will see that.

at your GP.

obs big hugs to you. it does sound like the GP is being overly and extremely cautious. i'm sure it will all be fine so try not to stress about it too much - make sure you take care of yourself. and as pinky says, does nothing to help women feel they can admit they are struggling.

merry thanks for the tip on burt's bees - have looked it up on amazon US and it is much cheaper!! shall be stocking up. choc gymboree stuff look v cute. rosa we will be in california (San Fran/San Jose) so should be able to get to all the big chains. target looks good and also looking forward to the big outlet malls for the big label bargains!

Chocorange did you try lactulose for the constipation? My doc says constipation ok as long as no blood and not too painful. DD's poos have been solid since Xmas!! Apologies if you've already been down this road, I'm new to this thread!

ellie, are your iron levels OK?

low iron can cause palpitations....breathlessness as well.

Obs Hugs to you. Second what everybody else has said - can't believe the GP felt he had to report you to SS As others have said, this is exactly the sort of response that discourages women from asking for help when they need it most I'm sure nothing will come of it but in the meantime it's a lot of stress you don't need.
Ellielou I have had palpitations before and put them down to stress as well. I also cut down on caffeine and I haven't had them since. The helicopter crash was awful - a cousin of my dad works on the rigs and whenever I hear anything like this I immediately think of him. It's even harder for you being so much closer to home with DH.
Ladybuzz Glad things are sorting themselves out with DH
Can't respond to all the posts as E is grizzling with DH downstairs atm but hope everybody who was ill is now feeling better.
I started weaning E on Tuesday and so far so good She even slept twice in her cot yesterday! Monkey Were Plum and E separated at birth or something? E is 98th centile for weight as well, in fact slightly above a couple of weeks ago!
Just realised that Barbs hasn't posted recently - hope you're OK Barbs
Hope everybody has a quiet night.

Hello again everyone. Obs I am shocked at your GP, sounds like an overreaction big time. Nothing will come of it and you have smacked less times than lots of people. Big hugs to you.

No sooner had I got back on here when the broadband went t*ts up!!! I will try and become a little more regular.

Good news... J has slept through from 7 til 7 the last 4 nights!!!! WAHOO!!! I love GF!!! (ALthough I'm technically being naughty as she says not to cut out the 1030 feed). Sadly my body won't sleep much before 11 / 12 but I am working on it!!!
DH wants to move J's cot into the spare room this weekend so I expect it to go wrong... I'm gutted, I love being able to wake and watch him but DH thinks that it's best to do it now before J is really aware that he sleeps in our room. Has anyone else done this?

Love to all that are having problems - I think I need to see the GP but am frightened to admit that I have unstable moments and I know in my heart they're down to tiredness and frustration at the lack of time to do anything and the lack of support from DH.

Thanks for your replies I dont think I am aneamic dont feel unusually tired or breathlessa, I didnt think I was too stressed but thinking back DH has been away for 4 weeks now and doing everything myself and have only had I night out but even that was just a few hours at my friends house so havent really had a break IYSWIM.
Rosa thats good about your dress!
daisy well done on losing a stone but you are right not the ideal way to do it, I managed to get into my size 12 skinny jeans today a wee bit of a muffin top but less than it was!
cricri sounds like E is doing well and enjoying her food!!

Hello!

Bless you cricri for thinking of me W's sleeping been a bit eratic so been hiding in the kitchen so me and dh can chat without disturbing him! W was on 98th centile too but has dropped to between 75th and 91st - he's 18 weeks and 16lbs 7oz. He looks just fine to me though - he's very long - so I'm not worrying

Obs My God - shocking. Just think the same as everyone else really - surely SS have better things to do - GP totally OTT I think. Utterly ridiculous and I'm so that you are having to go through this. Lots of love to you xx

LB thrilled for you!!!

So when do you think I can try W with something then? He is 18 weeks - younger than most I think as he arrived at the end of November. Should I leave another month - I'm dying to start - he keeps trying to nick my sandwich off me and smacks his lips when I'm eating

mummynic I want to move M into her room I think we are doing it when DH comes home we are going to give her our room and we will move downstairs (we have 2 bedrooms upstairs and 1 down) I too love waking up and seeing her but would also love for me and DH to have our own space again, We moved dd1 into her own room at 12 weeks as we were waking each other up and she is very independant. Hope you sart to feel better soon too have you spoken to DH, does he know you are feeling a bit unsupported?

Did anyone watch eastenders tonight I was very upset by it maybe just the way I am feeling today but it was so sad