November 08 - Say it LOUD.......We're shades of GINGER and PROUD :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

This do??????

oh a nov 08 wedding. oh bella, can't wait for the photos.
Laughing at ceebee's ds1 'pissing about on the landing'. ha ha.
have passed on all your well wishes to daisy. dozy have text you her no.
I KNOW how lucky I am to have a dh who gets home so early. That is the benefit of working in your home town. Not many managers leave home at 7.45am, in work for 8am. Leave work at 5pm. Home by 5.10pm. To us that is worth atleast another £10K.
For the last week, ds1 and ds2 have been in bed by 8pm. The other night it was 6.45pm !! Sometimes one feed at 3am. 3 nights, total sleepthrough from 8pm to 7am.
Now I bet there were a few of you, that thought that I in particular, would never reach this place. Oh how nice it is !!!
We had 16 week immunisations today. And ds1 had his pre-school immunisations, be it a bit late seeing as he started school in sept, but hey !!

I Must go and do ironing I have no clothes to wear . Had to get out ds2's 3-6 mth babygrows, only because all his 0-3 mths were in the ironing pile. Ha ha. Thats one way of avoiding the ironing. Just get the next age group out ha ha.
Impressed with dozys energy for half term. we went to the park today. that was it. as exciting as it gets round here !!

daisy - poor thing.
rosa - BIRTHDAY BABY ... No as nothing happened [ahem]. last period 28/01/08 (miscarriage Dec07) so ovulating 8th to 13th of Feb 08, EDD 3rd Nov and A was 8 days overdue appearing on 11th Nov. When I found out I was pregnant again on the 23rd Feb I was really happy but also horrified as the weekend prior I celebrated my 30th with lots of booze and after having a miscarriage was even more paranoid something might go wrong than normal. SORRY GOT LONG WINDED.
ladybuzz - Glad the christening was good and also that your DH is really making an effort which is good (?). Regarding DH saying cutting ties I can understand his request, would you not want the same if roles reversed, although hard on you as been a friend for a long time. I told my DH things were over a month or more ago and apart from less arguements but still argue nothing has changed. He VERY, VERY RARELY makes an effort. DO YOU WANT DH, HOLDING OUT FOR THE FRIEND OR NEITHER? DONT FEEL YOU HAVE TO ANSWER JUST A THOUGHT. Dont know what to suggest apart from getting that straight in your head to be fair to everyone concerned. SORRY LOVE.

Shall I be devils advocate here ?
Buzz, let me cut to the chase - well you all know thats what I am good at -
Do you really want other man. Old friend. Because I suspect you do.Am I wrong ?

Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have posted that. Apologies Buzz.

I feel really bad now - I spent 30 minutes trying to put DS1 back to bed silently but he just found it hilarious. I gave up and came downstairs as I wanted my tea and left him messing about on the landing - he sobbed for about 15 minutes which I ignored and now he has put himself to bed.....I should have gone and given him a cuddle shouldn't I??

(Sam has slept through it all of course )

Best wishes Lacks - you poor sausage. Am missing you terribly on FB Scrabble! Will watch out for news on you :-)

Obs I like your bluntness re. ladyB and this t'other fellow.
LadyB - you, and only you, need to work out if you want to make it work with DH. Sounds like he wants to with you. Remember - the grass ain't always greener. Sometimes things have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. Love to you.
p.s. Love your new hairdo by the way - you look faberoony (to use an obs expression). And little Jay looks adorable, esp. the one with his little girlie chum.

lolabella well done on your sleeping! (or should I say Oscar)!

coolkat re. outings etc, I am lucky in that my DH is around a lot, so we are hanging out together at the moment. It's good fun actually, and I haven't wanted to kill him more than about twice so far!

Anyone watching "who do you think you are?" Rick Stein's Dad jumped off a cliff to his death - horrible.

ceebee - WELL DONE. I think you did right with DS1. DS1 will get the idea eventually. Keep strong you are doing the right thing.

Morning.
Ceebee, agree, be strong, you are doing the right thing.
Loving the fact I had infiltrated MonkeyM with my words
Has anyone noticed the 4 month sleep problem ? When they go through the 4 mth growth spurt, those that have previously been sleeping through start waking up at night, for feeding.
But M hasn't done this.

Forgot to tell you about Daisy. She was supposed to go for a scan. But you need an empty stomach. And they had just given her lunch.
So they said she needed to stay in until today. Plus they didn't want anything becoming infected. They are such MORONS. Honestly.

Morning.
Obs Love you directness and for that I will be honest
Deep down in my heart I want the other man.
I feel so awful saying it and I do keep wavering and having doubts. I really wish I could see more of him and get to know him properly again before I make an informed decision but that is not fair on DH and I know that.
I am so scared that I will lose a fantastic DH and it not work out - that is very selfish of me I know.
I think I might need to take time away from both of them to have a think.
Sorry that is about as clear as mud still .

Thankyou for your comments on my hair, I love it very much!
The little girl in the photo with Jay is my great niece!

Hope Daisy is OK.

Lolabella congrats on your upcoming wedding.

Ceebee lol at DS pissing about - sounds familiar. DS1 once ended up asleep on his floor .

My pains from last month are back, I now know they are period related muscular my arse! off to the docs again for me!!

Buzz, I can't stop thinking about you. I am so worried that the grass is greener and you are making a mistake. Why did your 'soulmate' not declare his feelings for you before. That doesn't sit comfortably with me.
Oh oh oh, I too am all of a dither now. I just want to to be sure that you are making the right decision. But I suppose that is asking the impossible.

I really hope you will be o.k.
All of you.

obs, M is 15+2 - is that too early for the 4 month sleep problem?? For the last couple of nights he has been waking constantly - last night he went down at 7, then woke at 11, 12.30, 3.00, 4.30, 5.50 and 6.15 and up for the day...it's doing my head in! fortunately DP has been great and is getting up with him so I can get a couple more hours sleep. coolcat I saw your post yesterday about Becca waking a lot and being whingey - I can definitely sympathise. Although then I read this thread which sounds like M generally - a lot like his dad! If anyone has ever done Myers-Briggs, his dad is a very strong 'E' and so needs lots of external stimuli and I think M might be the same (whereas I am an 'I' so can be by myself for a long time with no problem). I was very of juanitad's story of bumble playing on his playmat then drifting off to sleep. M would never do this! Anyway, I re-read a bit of the Robin Barker book 'Baby Love' last night and it gave me some perspective and reassurance - a nice change after reading too much GF!!

Monkey do you play wordscraper on FB? I am addicted and would love to have a game with you!

Hugs and get well wishes to Daisy!

Thanks so much Obs I will give you the background of our friendship and it might help.
I have known him since I was born, he moved away when he was 6 and our families kept in touch and we saw them quite often until I was around 15. I always got on really well with him even as kids and we were quite close.
I slept with him when I was 15 and was very much in love with him for years and years after. I didn't say anything as I thought he would think I was a silly little teenager and not want anything to do with me. The first inkling I had that he felt anything for me was the last time I saw him and he kissed me - It was at his wedding so I didn't think it appropriate to say anything. Our paths haven't crossed since then until he came to see me couple of weeks ago. I feel really strongly about him like all of the old feelings came flooding back. He then told me he felt the same all those years ago and the biggest mistake he made was not contacting me earlier, he said he didn't think I had any feelings for him either.

I too am very scared to make this decision, its the biggest one I have ever been confronted with and I don't want to make the wrong one.
He wants to move up here to be with me and has even told his parents how he feels! I just don't know.
Sorry to keep rambling on over and over I don't want to confuse yo too .

Text Daisy earlier she says she is feeling a little better this morning poor love.

Obs Becca is 16 weeks tomorrow, could this be what he past week is about? Last night between 11.30 and 3.00 I was up and out of bed to see to her about 10-15 times, gave in eventually and brought her in with me,fed her at about 4, so sort of defeated the object and me losing all of that sleep

Today she seems to have a bit of a cough? See ladies, is Karma, I had it quite good at the begining and now I am really paying for it, I am soooo tired. DH on a course all week so night times are all mine Mwahhhhhhh

Thinking of you Daisy.

Ladybuzz, I don't know if this is the right thing to say but... Could you bare seeing your DH happy with someone else? Have a real hard think. You know from my past posts my life went upside down over two years ago and my god it hurts, to see your children with their daddy and what could be his new partner.
Honestly, you have never said that your DH is a bad man, bad father, your posts seem rather nice about him. I am sure with work you could reignite that spark. The grass really isn't greener.

Coolkat I appriciate honesty I really do, you are right DH is a lovely man and a fantastic husband and father, couldn't ask for a better one TBH. Would be easier if he was horrible!hope Becca settles down soon.

Londonboots I'm always up for a word game on FB if you like?

LadyBuzz, is the other man still married? Does he have any children? When you say he kissed you at his wedding, do you mean nice friendly peck on the cheek or more?

I have no idea what to advise, as ultimately you have to do what you think is best for you and your family. It must be such a confusing time for you. I think what you said about taking time out from both DH and the other guy is probably a good idea. Maybe time away from DH will make you realise a) you can live without him and be happy or b) the complete opposite, you don't want to be without him.

Juanitad he isn't married but he lives with someone. His marriage only lasted 6 months - he was only 18 and was forced into it for the sake of his daughter.
The kiss was more then a friendly peck but not a full on snog iyswim? but was quite full on as my dad even noticed and commented .
He has 3 kids but none of them are with the person he is with at the moment.
I'm reading this and realising that it is not showing him in the best light .
I like your suggestion and am hoping that taking time from DH will answer just that.

Buzz since we are all being honest, then no you haven't painted a very good picture of him at all - he doesn't seem to be the most reliable of men...but that doesn't negate your feelings for him I guess. It sounds like space is definitely what you need to get some perspective....I am certain your 'first love' always has some kind of hold over you (I know mine does) so I guess you need to decide if it is nostalgia or a real genuine desire for this man.

Wow you have all really sold the '4-month growth spurt' to me - NOT! Sam is sleeping like a dream at the moment and I really don't want that to change...DS1 never seemed to have that 4-month period of unsettledness and I am sure I can't be that lucky twice.

After last nights shenanigans, DS1 slept really well last night - only got up once and went straight back to sleep as I don't think he was actually awake, and then I had to wake him at 7 this morning which is very unusual. Don't feel as guilty now

LadyBuzz, yes I am really sorry, but a VERY bad picture is being painted here.
He was 'forced' into marriage. What does that actually mean ?
And he kissed YOU on HIS wedding day. i MEAN come on !!!
And he has numerous children from different partners. Right so, he he isn't that big on the traditional pro-creating within stable relationship then.
And you think that if you married him, it would last ?
Hardly mr reliable is he ?

I think you have this 15 yr old romantic, idealised view of him. I think the day to day, immaturity and unreliability might come as a very unpleassant shock.
Have you actually thought about what day to day living would be like with him, once the excitment wears off ?
Plus, I have spoken to dh about him. My dh says that it is bollocks. And that if he had wanted you, nothing would have stopped him coming back for you.

Plus lets be honest here. You are leaving dh for him. But if he hadn't wafted back in, you might be giving dh more of a chance.

When you are very young things seem attractive. With old age, you realise that those things are really not that important. Dh and I tick along very well on a day to day basis. I find him attractive becasue he is solid, old school, traditional. He is a moral snob, like me. He trats people the way he likes to be treated.

Mind you, to be fair, I think your mind is already made, isn't it ?

LadyB i have to agree with obs here. He doesn't sound awfully reliable, and once the excitement of a new love affair (or in your case, rekindled rather than new) wears off, all that will be left will be the daily grind. You say your DH is a good husband and dad - sounds like a solid starting point.

I so, so nearly threw my marriage away 2 yrs ago. And so glad now that I didn't. I'm sure you and DH can get through this, if this other guy doesn't get in the way here.

Londonboots would love a game of Wordscraper, or Scrabble! How can I find you on FB?
P.S. Obs your go on Scrabble woman!

P.S. love and best wishes to Lacks.

Can I join the waking and whingy thread as well - Last night Minirosa woke 4 times today she has fed at 7.30 , 10, 13,00 and 14,45 the 10 - 13 gap was only as I was coming back from the clinic . She has put on hardly nothing but will wait a week and see what growth has been over a month.
Lady buzz I agree with all that has been said - remember the grass always looks greener the other side of the fence however often when you get over the fence the grass is no longer green !
Please keep us all updated on Daisy !

ladybuzz don't forget that we are all here for you regardless. X

My favourite saying is "Hindsight is a wonderful thing"

Just had a text from Daisy, she is on her way home now so hopefully we'll see her back here very soon for an update. We've missed her - she's the backbone of this thread!

ladybuzz have sent you a friend request on FB (I got your name from your link to the christening photos - hope that's ok!) monkey my name is very common and i'm impossible to find! send me an email to london dot boots at hotmail dot com so I can send you a friend request.

I went to a 'parents and prams' class today - my first proper exercise class in ages. I thought M might sleep through but he woke up a few minutes in...probably lucky for me as I only ended up doing about half the class and can feel it already! the other babies were all older (next youngest 7.5 months) so enjoyed watching, although M wasn't the only one who cried! am going to mother and baby yoga tomorrow which I'm very looking forward to - hopefully M will like it more as he will be involved!