November 08 - Say it LOUD.......We're shades of GINGER and PROUD :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

This do??????

Morning.
Glad to see Fudge has a clean house now. Laughing that she was so oposed to having a cleaner. Silly woman . Best thing ever !! I only had one for a few weeks, after cs,but it was fabarooney.
Laughing at Barbs flat biscuits. Ds Does have lovely eyes Barb. Love to MerryM with her nightmare day.
Pinky too, love to you, hope you are alright.

Morning all,
Things have moved here. DH is moving out for a while. We need time apart.
I need to sort my head out i'm breaking his heart and its tearing me apart.
I'm going to the docs to discuss ADs i'm really really down at the mo and I don't think its helping my perspective of things.

MIL came round yesterday to tell me what an awful mother/wife/housekeeper I am and how I should not be down, depression is all in the head of weak people etc etc. If I had been through what she has I wouldn't dwell on things - WTF? oh yeah and reminded me once again that my mc was not a baby and I want to get over it - then said sorry for upsetting me.

Hugs to Pinky.

Hope everyone else is OK, sorry for the me post (again).

Jay is going for his second set of jabs today

drs wife - LOVE your pics . Sorry to hear about your troubles and upset with Sophie. Trust me more common and normal than your realise. I seem more settled with A and things seem to NOW be going more smoothly. But with DS things were really bad for the first few months until we got used to each others habits and found our groove and of course I got more confident. I did so much walking in those early days. With DS I wouldnt say I had depression as such but felt very upset the majority. EVERYDAY I used to stand at the top of our stairs looking out of the window (could look around the corner) at the time DH was due home crying and looking for him to appear saying "please hurry I dont know what to do tried everything please hurry". Then the relief when I saw his car. I can also remember another bad time when I tried ONCE to take DS to baby massage but he cried hysterically the whole time (didnt help was scheduled at feed time). No one helped me OR even spoke to me more like ignored me when now thinking it was obvious I was fighting back tears. TO make me feel worse everyone elses babies were so good even one ladies twins! I felt so alone and such a failure. THESE were VERY, VERY bad times and felt like forever. But trust me they do soon pass and you realise it wasnt as long as you thought and you wonder what it was all about. US LADIES ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

Morning all

Pinky sorry you are not doing so well...you know where we all are if you want to talk

Merry poor you - I completely sympathise as my DS1 has also been the devil himself these last couple of days! I dropped him off at nursery this morning with the words 'good luck' to the staff

Daisy meant to post last night - lol at your DH! Bumble must have been telling him a really interesting story to make him nod off like that

Are we outing our secret storks then??? I would love to know who sent me the lovely tab blanket...if you want to reveal yourself, please do

Choc still don't know if Sam is teething or not. He seems a little less grumpy this morning (i.e. he actually woke up with a smile on his face instead of crying as usual) but may get some of those powders...can you get them from Boots?

Right must dash for now - need to do my exercise DVD before Sam's next feed at 10

morning all..ladybuzz thats awful news, jesus, i thought i was having a tough time but that takes the barbs flat biscuit. wish there was something we could do?

vbab that describes me perfectly...not depressed just upset. I wait anxiously for DH, at weekends i cry as he goes to golf on saturday and i know its another day struggling on my own. i wouldnt stop him from going, im just jealous as hell that he gets to walk out the door!

Got up this morning intent on going to mother and baby, but sophie has just cried all morning and i havent even brushed my teeth! as he left this morning i asked dh if he could quickly make me a coffee as its my only chance, to get "fucks sake" as a response. he did make it but it just crytalised he has no concept of a day alone with a crying baby. but then i read ladybuzz's post and realise how lucky i really am.

DW I have sent you an e-mail if you get a chance to check??

Ladybuzz sorry - must have x-posted with you earlier and have just read your post for you. I have no words that will make you feel better but maybe the space is what you both need? And remember, you need to do whatever you feel is right for your boys.

DW for you too - it does sound like you are struggling with everything - and what a shame you couldn't get to the baby massage class. I don't know if you have mentioned it before but have you tried carrying Sophie in a sling so at least you can get things done - like make and drink a cup of coffee?

Sorry most of us are on a bit of a downer at the moment. LB, you have good reason to be down, don't let MIL put you down further. You will work it out, like several of the lovely ladies on here have done, but going through it is no fun. The AD's may or may not work, but it's always worth giving it a go I think (worked for me) and once you are thinking straighter you can figure stuff out. Will you be able to cope ok without your dh, ust with bedtimes etc.? Pinxy, big hugs to you...xxxxxxxx No words, but hope you feel better soon - at least the rollercoaster provides some ups as well as downs. Welcome drswife. If it's any consolation, I haven't taken babies to any groups, massages or anything and didn't with ds1 either, just tried to cope with washing, feeding - him and me!

Had some hindsight on ds1's behaviour. First day back at playschool after a week with me. Also, as I wasn't well my Dad came up so I didn't give him as much attention as usual (Dh dropped him at playschool and Dad fetched him), plus I had my homestart helper here for a couple of hours and we were talking, so he probably felt a bit pushed out. But boy, was it a bad day! Thanks for the insurance advice Lacks, I never thought of that, I have never claimed insurance. It is fixable but will cost a bit. He didn't break the glass but smashed the wood which is quite delicate.

Oh, and my washing machine's packed up. They can't come and look till Thurs, then will need to order parts etc. before it is fixed. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh. I have loads after going away for a week. (But I know this is small in the big scheme of problems, just very annoying).

choc i'll check in a sec xx
ceebee - tried hugabub, ringsling, babasling, babybjorn types...she screams worse and pinches me!
we have a swing, playmat,pram, 4 slings,bouncy chair, toys and two tits and nothing makes this child happy!

im actually paranoid that she's ill now but then she stops crying and smiles at me. minx!

Ladybuzz - sorry hope the space is what you need and you can work things out.
Drswife does she sleep at night ? - as it sounds as if you are really having a tough time - does she let up at all or is there a certain position that she is more comfortable with ? A friend of mine had a babe which cried constantly and waking at night crying . She took him to a baby osteopath and he gave the babe a good massage / rub ( whatever they do ) 2 visits later a changed baby!! Good luck with the M&B groups I went this morning to the only one I have and met a couple of nice mums there wera another few that were not my cup of tea but I am a foreigner here so I just throw myself in the deepend and keep my fingers crossed - Good luck.
Daisy how thin are you now ??? Are you still in pain ?
MM bummer re the washing machine I dread the day when mine will give up !

rosa shes a diamond at night, thats prob why its so frustrating as i know how settled she can be. she goes down at 7.30pm wakes at 4am then 7am. shes asleep in my arms right now so thats good but i cant put her down..and i have tesco delivery in half an hour. its almost like she is annoyed at being immobile, she can roll from front to back, does mini push ups and weight bears on legs. she is only happy if i let her stand up on my lap all day but then gets tired, falls down cries. for all my frustration she is quite funny and i love her more than the world...its just the constant crying.

Sounds as if she wants to be up and running round !!! I don't know what to suggest but I am sure that somebody on MN can come up with something. I have only just got minirosa to nap in her basket and even now it takes lots of shusshing and paitence - I can only do it when I have dh round as other wise dd1 keeps popping her head over the basket / crib with her 10p worth !!

I don't really know what to suggest either drswife as mine mostly sleep fine in the day, but not so great at night! Can you try and recreate a bedtime atmosphere if she sleeps well at night...how do you get her to sleep at night? Blackout blind, a music mobile which triggers sleep, the same bed she sleeps in at night...you probably tried all that. Just weird she will sleep at night.

My dd finds it hard to sleep without me (and she's my precious dd so I cave in and sleep with her every night!), cuddle her to sleep and then usually join her about an hour after she's gone down.

i dont do anything at night you know, she bathes with me at half 6. but thats because she started to push up to stand so much i was worried about her hips to be honest.

so i fill the bath deep on me, then she swims round it or walks up and down the tub, then she lies on my tummy between my legs and kicks. its the only time shes not crying really, the one time shes got the weightlessness to exert herself. after that she has a boob and zonks out til 4am. maybe i need a swimming pool installed for daytime use!

DrsWife, I have also heard that cranial osteopathy works miracles! A friend of mine went a coiple of times and her baby was like a different boy afterwards!!

Found this website which might be useful:

www.cranial.org.uk

Or take her swimming! I bet that would knock her out for a good while. How about one of those bouncy swing things...not sure how old they need to be to go in them.

[http://www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=1500001501& productId=1500362709&langId=-1&engine=froogle&keyword=Lindam+Bounce+About+Plus+Deluxe+Door+Bouncer baby bouncer]]

Says you can use from when baby can hold head. There must be some other 'triggers' for her bedtime which you don't realise eg. darkened room/ nightlight, sound of TV downstairs whatever etc. Try and recreate sleep atmosphere...but it maybe the bath. Have you tried a bath in the day as well?! It may be worth it if she sleeps for 2-3 hours - and she'll be happier.

try again

swimming starts on the 7th, she had cranial, worked in that she slept during each session but no real difference. i think she'd love a jumperoo thing but im sure she needs to be 6 months. i think its the only thing that would give her the mobility she wants but im petrified of letting her push herself too far, hence the deep bath sessions. maybe im being a bit pfb?

I think some jumpy things are 6months, but this one looks younger. Def try a bath in the day though, cos she may go down for one long sleep say 12-3pm.

thanks merry off to take a look.

jumperoo is from when they can hold their head up unassisted - I'm getting one this week so will let you know what it's like if you want!

ladybuzz - Sorry missed your post earlier . Sorry that things are such that your DH has moved out. But it may be what you both need, you never know it is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder but if not then at least you arent both in the same space getting more emotional and upset. Wouldnt be a nice environment for you, DH or J. But at your MIL and the crap she said especially about depression and MC. STUPID NASTY COW. But she is probably just angry and upset herself worrying about her son and just wants to lash out at you even if maybe deep down she doesnt mean it. I think that if anyone hurt either of my children no matter what age and even if unintentional and inavoidable I would lash out at least verbally at the person causing the hurt.

doctorswife - at your DH response re coffee. IT is just a typical bloke response when asked to do ANYTHING and IMO MOST blokes just dont get how hard things are at home with kid(s). Whenever I do manage to make a drink I put it in a flask cup thingy as the only chance when I do drink it that it may be warm! It is a standing joke now with parents and in laws.