May 07: The one where we celebrate LG&T's completed family

[NimChimpsky]

Morning all.

Especially LG&T and India.

I will be requiring lengthy cuddles.

I shall be singing Hush Little Baby for the duration.

No help on the scones unfortunately [slattern who buys from supermarket emoticon]

CM - it is really difficult isn't it ? I am 90% certain I would like another but I had complications with my pregnancy and had 2 mc's before having her (and am prone to more). Its nothing compared to what you have been through but it still makes me think "Is it worth the potential pain and hurt ?" but for me, I think the answer is yes. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least try. It might not happen and if it doesn't, I won't be massively troubled because I still have Tilly but I know I want to at least have a go.

I was a twin and my twin was sadly stillborn . My mum never had any more after me (not through want of trying though) and I know it effected her very badly

Thanks Tilly, yes it is difficult isn't it. Do you mind me asking did you know all along you are a twin? Just not sure how it will affect G in the future. DD talks about B but she doesn't really remember/understand and obviously AFAIK G has no recollection.

Was happy when got BFP and was gutted when MC but is that just feelings of loss or do I want more. For me I think I would like another but do have the worries, I don't want to feel I have pushed DH into it either, that is a concern especially if something did go wrong.

Can they reduce your risk of MC somehow? So sorry to hear of your MCs.

Hi CM - I'm pretty sure mom told me about being a twin when I was around 9 or 10. I can't specifically remember a big discussion, but my great grandad had just died and she told me he would be in heaven looking after my twin. I just dealt with it very matter of factly tbh. It was never really made a big thing of. It was only really when I was an adult that I realised that my mum had terrible PND/grief and ended up having a nervous breakdown and I was looked after mainly by my Nan until I was about 9 months old

I've always felt sad that I was an only child but I never felt I was missing a twin specifically iyswim ?

I know what you mean about DH - I am more keen than my DH but I think its just because he's concerned about me (and worries about financial stuff as well)

My MC's were because I have a lot of fibroids on my uterus - it just depends on whether a fertilised egg decides to implant itself in a bit where there aren't any fibroids or not. Nothing they can do - the only treatments available for removal of fibroids can affect fertility so they recommend leaving them until I've completed my family. Just one of those things and they do get worse with age so I need to get a move on really !

Hope you manage to sort it out. FWIW - I don't think your DH would "blame" you if something went wrong. He's probably just scared. I always think you're more likely to regret the things you don't do, than the ones you do IYSWIM ?

Thanks for that Tilly. I think we will just keep Bs picture up and talk about him and hopefully we can answer Gs questions as and when. It's funny as I am usually a glass is half full kinda girl and DH is glass half empty but with G we are opposite. DH is just delighted we have G and thinks he is great whereas when I look at him I think god you are fabulous wouldn't it be wonderful to have 2 of you.

Yeah I think DH has the extra concern of me and my wellbeing. I tend to not think of risks to me but he does. Thay have different concerns though don't they.

Agree wholeheartedly with you regret the things you don't do, not the ones you do.

Maybe we should just get cracking TTC then? Will be having big chat tomorrow as we will be in car for most of day so maybe we can air a few issues and get it resolved.

Sorry to hear about the fibroids.

Don;t TTC in the car though will you ?!

Tilly - are you coming to see us at CP?

Can I just say, it's so interesting how many people totally ignore you when you name change - new posters must feel dreadful.

Maybe they're all jealous that you're married to Joe now...

You can do the Nigella scones with just butter, but I guess it's too late now... They're just not quite so light without the Trex.

gwan gwan Charley TTC in the car am sure it would result in some hilarious story

I am sorry you are having all this worry about concieving again I know what you mean about DH not being sure but you are relatively sure you want to try again, I think I would also like another but not for a couple of yrs I would like a bit of time not being pregnant or BF. But DP is not sure if he wants another I think its the financial thing which is shocking at the mo but I know we would be in a better position in a few yrs. I think the 2 of you really talking tom is a good thing.

FLF sorry no help on the scones send DP to Waitrose to buy some. Hope oyu are having fun with H isnt it bloody odd having a toddler and a NB.

I think that's what it is TYG

Not giving scone advice as I made some on Friday morning that were akin to bullets.

And as for conceiving, well it's no secret that Joe and I would love another, but it's a question of timing. And also sometimes a toss up between having another dc and burying him under the patio.

HELLO MRS JOE - I'M NOT IGNORING YOU !!!

I think I'm going to try and make CP for the day (the Saturday is that's ok). I just need to check with DH because I'm away on a girlie weekend the week before (next week - hoorah - can't wait !), so I don't want to take the piss but tbh, if I'm taking Tilly off for the day, it means he can go out cycling so he's unlikely to moan too much

Don't worry, I don't mean you lot. I know you'd neeeever ignore me.

Sounds great. What about this girlie weekend then? Details please...

TYG - what about you??

Girlie weekend with 11 others (mainly ex work colleagues) - we go somewhere every year (just to drink vats of wine and talk bollocks, have massages/facials and eat lots etc.) We're going here this year. Its lovely to get away and not be "mummy" for a few days (although I miss her stacks - obviously)

DH is in charge of dd (and dsd) and is buggering off to his mum's to have an extra pair of hands - the big wuss !

Oh shoot Jam & TSM don't think we have christened this car yet and it is going tomorrow. Too bloody cold at my age though to be getting jiggy outside. Prefer my home comforts too much.

Yeah the finances are an issue but also don't feel I should hang about what with being 40 21 again next year.

MrsMc how about we both TTC then bury them (DHs obviously) under the patio.

12YG that's me just plain old at MrsMc

TSM I have some day passes so can get us in for free if MrsMc/AM would hand them in for us. Feel awfully cheeky though asking you to move to Sherwood than wussing out as feel can't justify holiday without DH. At least I know the commute will be better for you MrsMC. Are you going to tell us your cunning plan by the way?

Tilly - Dh does that too, even if I am just busy for the day he generally takes her to his mum's. Where she no doubt does everything while he sits on his arse.

CM - Sherwood is much better for me, so don't worry about that. Noooo, it's too mean. I'm only being bitchy because I am so paranoid about my weight. I promise.

THe burying under the patio sounds good to me. Dh drives me mad most of the time. Clearly I'm perfect though, and he has managed to overlook the fact that L is now walking around constantly singing 'Hangin' Tough' and asking to watch the 'woh woh' video. Ha ha, my child is perfection!!!!!

MrsMc if I come and stand next to you in a swimsuit you will look even slimmer as I am a bit of a fat b***d biffa

Although your boobs will obviously overshadow my large jelly belly

See we can both get benefit from standing next to each other. LOL

Lovving the image of lexie singing hanging tough

.......

Oh and CM, there is only room for one biffa on this thread.....

so who's going to CP ? Who's staying there ? Who's just going for the day ?

Joe's bird......I'm ignoring your text....

that poor poor child.

Flf, baking just after giving birth in a momentous way . How is the Big Sister coping with it all?

Dh and I talked and talked about whether to make a J, Charley. He was the same as your dh, I, like you. Eventually he said if it is what you really really want, then I will agree. I realised then I really really wanted another. Of course he is now delighted, yet somtimes frustrated by how lively and tiring J can be at our ages, just when B and D were becoming much easier to do things with. What ultimately persuaded him was the amount of extra practising he would need to do, tant pis that I got pregnant straight away! He too was concerned about me having to have another caesarian and about me changing during pregnancy (ie becoming the bitch from hell). To top it all my blood test results at 10 weeks with J, gave me a 1:10 risk of Down's syndrome. He had a sister with severe hydrocephalus and spina bifida who died shortly before dd was born, so the idea of having a disabled child filled him with dread. However we decided what would be would be and went against having the amnio and lucky for us, J came out without Down's syndrome. The week after J's arrival dh went for the snip I think it is often the woman who has a stronger instinct for when it is the right time to stop adding to their family. You imagine yourself as a family of 3 dc and he just sees you all as happy and healthy so why the need to upset the status quo. You could set a deadline, say try for 6 months and then stop trying after that and accept your lot? Or do you think that would be too much pressure?

Pink, where have you gone?

LG&T, how are the nips today??

I'm not going to CP until PJ admits what her and AM are planning that is mean.

TYG, lovely to hear you sounding more positive. I'm so sorry to have imposed on you when you were feeling so miserable. You should have said. I feel terrible.

Scoot, brillig news for dh and you sound well.

Charley, it's hard to know really whether the yearning for another is all tied up with a yearning for what's gone before iyswim. If somebody made the decision for you and said 'no more' how would you react?

Three cheers for Abby's dh too!

I have no idea who NKOTB are PJ, is that terrible?

LG&T, I love you and you know why.

MrsJB, I saw pics of you at CP on a girle weekend, you are not a biffa.

FLF, fab news. Hugos are ace.

Jam, when can I come and see you?

AM, how's college?

MKG, has America recovered from yesterday? I had a few tears at the coverage.

TSM, have had a mc myself and took a long time to conceive M, my mother had fibroids and struggled a wee bit too, as did her mum and her sisters. It always amazes me that we spent our teens being told we'd get pregnant if we brushed up against a Boy and our 20s and 30s finding out how hard it actually is sometimes.

Hello everybody else. I'm supposed to flounce now, yes?

TMAM - I am Joe's bird now.

Mrs JB - why are you ignoring me? Did I upset you on the phone yesterday? Am I paranoid?

Tilly - I have no idea who is coming now. I leave it up to AM who rings me with regular updates.

CM - my boobs are, indeed sizeable. I'm practically tripping over them. L thinks they are hilarious.

Jam - she's definitely mine.